The Sugar Cube Fort
by Sashocirrione
Summary: Rem is developing feelings for L after a very odd incident, while trying to keep Misa alive. Lots of plot twists, altered events after Yotsuba arc. Sexual content, mostly voyeurism. Highly L-centric story despite the Rem POV. Angsty with fluffy ending.
1. Helicopter

**Title: **"The Sugar Cube Fort"

**Author: **Sashocirrione

**Spoilers: **MAJOR Spoilers for everything up to chapter 58 of the manga and episode 25 of the anime. Spoiler for L's real name and Watari's real name. Some spoilers for the entire second half of the series, particularly in the author's notes.

**Warnings: **NO UNDERAGE READERS. Rated M for a reason. Sexual activities, swearing, some violence. Contains discussions of rape and sexual abuse, plus implied references to rape and a non-detailed flashback of a rape in a very late chapter.

**Summary: **Shinigami cannot have sex or experience sexual emotions, but some of them are very curious about the mysterious, pleasurable things that humans can do. Rem is an incurable voyeur, and L is convinced that in order to solve the Kira case, he needs to study Rem in every way possible. When L discovers that Rem really likes to watch, the entire plot starts shifting in a different direction than the way it went in the anime. Rem begins to see Light as her enemy and L as a possible ally, as she schemes to keep Misa alive, caught between Light's plans and L's plans. Lots of plot twists. Lemons at the rate of about one every three or four chapters. If you're not sure if you'll like the lemons, check chapter 3 for the first lemon.

**Pairings: **The main pairing is LxRem. Other pairings include LightxMisa, MisaxRem, and a tiny bit of LxLight, plus a large number of other minor pairings, especially in later chapters. Some pairings are one-sided or present only in flashbacks or consist only of sexual teasing and similar things rather than outright sexual activities.

**Additional Notes: **This is meant to be an alternate ending to the series, with all the canon anime/manga events happening up to a certain point, and then the plot diverging from there. It starts at the end of the Yotsuba arc.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note, and I do not make any money from these writings.

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CHAPTER 1: HELICOPTER

The bright lights of dozens of police cars shone at them, and Rem could hear the rhythmic thumping of helicopter blades overhead.

Rem knew the end was close, and somehow, somehow, this was all part of Light Yagami's plan, his very complicated plan that he refused to elaborate on all those months ago when she had stood in the forest with him and Ryuk, passing death notes around in a circle. Instead, Light had said, "Trust me" with that evil little smile.

Yes, even back then, Light must have intended for Higuchi to get caught. Would that mean Higuchi would take all the blame for the work of both the first Kira and second Kira? It didn't make sense, but Light Yagami always had something smart planned. There must be a way for this to work.

Higuchi spun the car around and tried to flee the other way, but the helicopter dipped low, then a masked sniper hanging out the helicopter's window shot Higuchi's tires out. The car slammed into the retaining wall at the side of the road. In moments, police officers wearing dark, face-obscuring helmets had surrounded the car and were demanding Higuchi's surrender.

Amidst her worry, Rem allowed herself a moment of pleased satisfaction. Higuchi was a despicable human being. He killed for money, for whims, and for power, plus he never made even the slightest attempt to judge criminals, he just wrote down the names as fast as they were broadcast. Rem had started to admire Light a little, enough that she knew she could no longer risk killing in order to save Light, but she would never admire Higuchi. All these humans, they were really starting to grow on her, each with a personality and a bright, active interest in the world, so unlike shinigami. And Higuchi just snuffed out those lives without even thinking about it.

Higuchi, the idiot, tried to hold himself hostage with his own gun, threatening to kill himself unless they let him go, but the gun was expertly shot out of his hand without spilling even a drop of blood. Then he was being forced from his car and blindfolded.

One of the police officers said, "Ryuzaki, we have secured Higuchi."

Ryuzaki... that was one of L's underlings Misa had talked about during that brief time when Rem had cornered her in the bathroom at the Yotsuba corporation headquarters. Misa had said that Light was chained to Ryuzaki all the time.

Then a headset was put on Higuchi and a voice came over it, saying, "Higuchi, how have you been killing people? If you refuse to tell us, then we will employ every means we have until you comply."

Rem panicked. Was it really a good idea to let the other side get a hold of the death note? Was Light's plan still unfolding perfectly, or had something gone horribly wrong? As Higuchi began explaining about the death note, Rem wondered if she should force him to give up ownership immediately, then snatch the death note and hide. No, she had to trust the plan would still work. Soon Misa would be safe and could live the rest of her short life in the way she wanted to, with freedom and dignity, and the man she loved by her side.

Then, one of the police officers took out the death note from Higuchi's car, began paging through it, and said, "Ryuzaki, the notebook is here but it's not anything special. It's true that there are a lot of names in here..."

Just then, he caught a glimpse of Rem and began screaming, falling to the ground, clutching at his chest. At first Rem thought he was having a heart attack, but then she heard him stammering "M..monster" and the voice, Ryuzaki's voice, came again over the headset and said, "Chief Yagami, you don't have a gun with you right now. Please calm down."

The man, Chief Yagami, took his hand away from his chest and Rem realized he'd been trying to reach for a gun that wasn't there. Rem blinked in disorientation. All the dark helmets around her seemed wrong. Humans should always have a name and a lifespan floating above their heads. A shinigami shouldn't be forced to sort out people's identities according to what they called each other. Then Chief Yagami's performance was repeated as another police officer touched the death note and had his own screaming fit. A flicker of a smile played over Rem's lips as she imagined the death note slowly making its way through the entire crowd of police officers, causing the same reaction in each one.

Then the headset voice, Ryuzaki's voice, came again, demanding the death note be taken to the helicopter for him to touch. Rem's head snapped upwards in surprise. If Light was still chained to Ryuzaki, he might get to touch the death note and get his memories back, but it wouldn't do any good. Surely the other side wouldn't let Light hold the death note forever, and if Light tried to write down Higuchi's name, he'd get caught, especially with another man chained to him. If that was Light's plan, it was completely stupid.

Rem watched as Higuchi was led toward a waiting police car, but then he suddenly threw back his head and convulsed a few times, slipping free of his blindfold. Higuchi gasped and gaped like a fish, then collapsed. His name and lifespan disappeared from above his head. Higuchi was dead! Rem felt the invisible tether that had bound her to Higuchi dissolve and instantly reform with someone inside the helicopter... Light. Rem looked angrily in the direction of the helicopter. Any moment now, they would look in the death note, find Higuchi's name, and arrest Light. In no time at all, that would cast suspicion on Misa as well. Rem could only hope that Light had managed to rip out the name unnoticed and then had disposed of the scrap.

The police cars began dispersing, and Chief Yagami tried to motion Rem into a car, but she ignored him. If the helicopter took a different route than the cars, it might become known that Rem was now attached to Light. It would be best to hide that information unless forced to reveal it. Several police officers stayed as all the others left, these remaining ones looking scared and vainly trying to motion Rem toward a waiting car. Finally, the helicopter lifted off, and Rem spread her wings, following it slowly, at as great a distance as the invisible tether allowed. She didn't want to approach Light closely just yet or interact with him too soon, because perhaps it would reveal a clue that Ryuzaki would pass on to L.

The helicopter wove lazily through the night sky, at last settling on a landing pad on top of a giant skyscraper. Rem took a deep breath and settled next to it, shrinking her wings to mere bony spikes on her shoulders. The helicopter doors opened and a masked gunman jumped out. The few strands of hair poking out from his face covering were gray. An old man. Rem looked inside the helicopter and saw Light, clearly handcuffed to another young man. Rem read the name over his head. L Lawliet. This was the one they called Ryuzaki, but since his first name really was the letter L, he had to be L himself. Rem had seen enough names to know that single-letter names were practically nonexistent, and it would be too great a coincidence for someone really named L to be working alongside L instead of being him.

Still, Rem couldn't call him L. If L had been merely a nickname or alias, she could, but there was the rule against revealing a human's true name. That rule applied even to part of the name. Rem stared at L, at Ryuzaki, and he stared back with large dark eyes, an inscrutable expression, almost devoid of emotion. It was hard to say what Ryuzaki might be thinking, but his gaze was very penetrating and it felt like countless wheels were busily turning in his brain. After a few moments of looking, the young man casually climbed down from the helicopter, Rem's death note tucked under his arm. Rem had never seen a human, other than Light, show so little fear when first introduced to her presence. In a few moments, Light had awkwardly climbed down as well. With a single glance over his shoulder to make sure his companion was indeed free of the helicopter, Ryuzaki began walking in a very slouched manner, Light coming along at the end of the chain like a dog on a lead.

Rem thought, tried to remember. Where had she seen that walk, that posture before? Yes, moments before Misa was arrested, she had seen this man. That had been months ago. And then, he'd had a different fake name as well. If she had paid any attention to his real name beyond briefly noting that a mismatch existed, she might have realized back then that he was L. But to focus on every single human that Misa spoke with was too much. Light had said L suspected him, not that L attended the same college and passed himself off as Light's friend.

Rem turned to look behind her, and watched as the old man removed his face covering. Rem remembered him. This one had been in the room where Misa was restrained in a straight jacket and all those bindings. Quillsh Wammy. He had been called "Watari" by an electronic voice piped in from elsewhere, and he had tormented Misa with dripping water and succulent foods kept just out of reach, sometimes injecting her with drugs that were supposed to loosen her tongue but never did, merely increasing Misa's mental torment as she tried to hold in and not spill any secrets. Watari looked like a harmless old grandfather, but Rem knew he had a terrifying dark side. She eyed his lifespan with some satisfaction. Less than ten years left, not surprising for someone of his obvious age, but still it was nice to know he'd die before long.

Rem carefully hid the hatred on her face and turned back toward Light and Ryuzaki. They were just entering a door on the roof. Rem spread her wings and launched into the air, slowing to a steady glide as she neared them, hanging lazily in the air above them, phasing through the wall and ceiling as they went through the much smaller door. Ryuzaki looked up, startled at the sight of Rem overlapping with the ceiling. Then she remembered that she should disguise her attachment to Light. Rem said, "Ryuzaki, is it? Do you want me to go where you are going?"

Ryuzaki pressed one finger against his lower lip and said, "Yes."

There was no more talking as the three of them rode the elevator down, just some weird glances from Light along with Ryuzaki's endless, penetrating stare. Rem felt like that stare could see everything and strip bare all her secrets, given enough time. She shivered inwardly.

_I have done the forbidden. I've fallen in love with a human. A stupid, practically suicidal human who seems to be a magnet for unhappiness and seems to have a death wish for both of us._

Rem remembered watching Misa from the shinigami world along with Jealous. Misa's sanity had shattered when her parents were killed in front of her eyes. Rem had found herself feeling so sorry for the girl, watching her giggle insanely as tears flowed from her eyes, watching her have night terrors, whimpering and flailing for hours, only to wake up and put on a fake persona to interact with the world. More and more, Misa acted childish and cute, pushing her feelings down and hiding behind a mask, so pretty, such a bubbly little bimbo, just what everyone wanted.

Misa was determined to be needed, to fit herself exactly to the needs of others, so she would never again be abandoned. Misa wanted to be used. Misa's mind became dull as she actively tried to act like the stereotype of a stupid model and her insanity gnawed away at her intelligence. Misa became prettier, more childish, more shallow, but at the same time death came to haunt her; the darkness seeped in. The gothic clothing started and soon took over her wardrobe. The death dolls and toy coffins proliferated in Misa's room. And, at night, Misa sometimes got out a sharp razor and held it just above her wrist for an hour or two, never cutting, just thinking and shaking.

And then, Rem's heart had truly gone out to Misa when the stalker came to attack Misa on her scheduled day of death. After seeing that terrifying incident, and losing the only shinigami friend Rem had as Jealous crumbled away, Rem wanted so badly to become a guiding force in Misa's life, to find some way to help her.

Rem was startled out of her thoughts by the elevator door opening. The three of them stepped out into a large room with many monitors at the far end and stairways at either side. Multiple views of Misa filled the screens. Rem looked intently. Misa seemed neither happy nor unhappy, but at least she didn't have any restraints or chains on her. And, from the magazines Rem had seen at Higuchi's place, it seemed Misa was pursuing her career just like she wanted to.

Then Rem turned her attention to the others in the room. They were all involved in a heated discussion about Higuchi. Rem noted with relief the names they called each other were real. She wouldn't need to worry about trying to remember a bunch of fake names. Only Ryuzaki and Watari hadn't let any mention of their real names slip. Rem came to stand among the investigators, but though they glanced at her and sweated a lot, none tried to talk with her. She could see the fear in their eyes every time their glances flickered over in her direction. Everyone except Ryuzaki, who crouched on a couch that was underneath the stairs and began to meticulously go through Higuchi's death note. His few glances at Rem were fearless and intense.

Rem tensed. Would Ryuzaki find Higuchi's name? No, Light didn't look at all nervous. What had Light done to kill Higuchi without leaving a trace? As Ryuzaki sat in that crouch and delicately paged through the death note, Rem found herself comparing him to Misa. _So childish, and he looks very alone. _In a few moments, Ryuzaki said, "Higuchi's name is not in here."

Ryuzaki lifted his head, looked straight at Rem with his most piercing stare, and said, "Did you kill Higuchi?"

Rem said, "I did not."

Ryuzaki nodded, almost absently, then said, "Shinigami, do you know why Higuchi died?"

Rem said, "I have no idea."

The one called Soichiro Yagami was sweating more than anyone else. With a trembling voice, he said, "Perhaps Higuchi committed suicide. He had the power to kill others, so it is not so strange to think he could kill himself."

Matsuda sighed and shook his head. "But, you kill by writing names in the notebook, so in order to kill yourself, you'd have to write your own name, right?"

Everyone was saying, "Yes, yes" in agreement.

"And," Matsuda continued, "if he can die of his own will, isn't it strange that earlier he tried to kill himself with a gun?"

Soichiro said, "No, it might mean that if he killed himself with a gun it would be far less painful than a heart attack... is it a coincidence, or suicide, or another Kira, or the shinigami... what is it?"

And then Soichiro swung his gaze fully on Rem and looked at her accusingly. "Which is it, shinigami?"

Rem said, "My name is Rem. I didn't kill Higuchi, nor do I know why he died."

Ryuzaki was watching Rem very carefully now, sipping creamer from little plastic cups one after another while never removing his eyes from her. Those eyes looked so wide and dark, like the nighttime surface of deep, still water. He seemed younger and more child-like than ever. Curious, and just a bit afraid now. He continually stacked the little cups, and his expression became grimmer and grimmer. Rem could almost hear the clicking of little wheels inside Ryuzaki's brain.

Ryuzaki said, "Mogi, I need you to scan the entire notebook, even the blank pages. Please get an electronic file and also a hard copy version for each of us. After that, remove minute fragments from the ink used to write the rules. Get a separate fragment from each rule and keep track of which is which. Also, I need similar fragments from at least three blank pages and from each noticeably different pen that Higuchi used. Send all these fragments to a forensics lab and try to get results within an hour."

Rem relaxed. Light had somehow managed to conceal his killing of Higuchi, and the tests would not reveal that some rules were fake, because all of them had been written by Ryuk, using his pen. Still, she waited nervously as the time went by. Light hardly ever looked at her, Ryuzaki seemed to spend most of his effort focused on stirring his coffee and rearranging the empty creamer cups, and the other investigators swarmed around her, discussing everything about the case, looking through their printed copies, but seeming afraid to talk to her. When Mogi returned with the notebook, Ryuzaki took it from him possessively and kept flipping through it, seemingly amazed, as if he had to keep touching this otherworldly artifact or it would stop being real.

Then the awaited phone call came. Mogi nodded on the phone and said, "Yes, I understand."

Mogi turned to face the rest of the investigators and said, "They say the 'How to Use' part of the notebook was written with an ink never seen before in the world."

Soichiro nodded and said, "I see. As Rem said, the notebook is something from the shinigami realm."

Matsuda said, "I thought for sure as soon as the shinigami appeared that Light and Misa-Misa were completely innocent. This is great."

Aizawa said, "If Light and Amane were Kira and the second Kira, then they wouldn't still be alive, because they were under surveillance for over 50 days and are still under surveillance right now."

"Yes," Matsuda said, "They didn't write anything, certainly not a name."

Soichiro said, "And, from the last rule, we can't destroy the notebook, or at the very least everyone in the investigation center will die."

Rem knew then, this was the plan. L would never have let Misa go completely free unless he understood how the power worked, and he couldn't do that without discovering a death note. One of the fake rules would free Misa from suspicion, and the other would leave Light with his memories intact, so that if he needed to act to save Misa, he would know what to do. Everything was working out perfectly.

Matsuda giggled nervously. "Ah, I shouldn't have said I wanted to see the monster too and touched the notebook!"

Soichiro said, "If you hadn't done that, you'd be the only one who wouldn't know what kind of investigation is going on."

Matsuda waved one hand in the air while a bead of sweat ran down his forehead. "No, I want to investigate on the same level as everyone else."

Ryuzaki knocked over his tower of empty creamer cups. His eyes were downcast, his mouth set in a straight line. He began to build again and said, "Rem, there are other notebooks in the human world. Am I right?"

Rem said, "There may or may not be. I do not keep track of what other gods of death do with their death notes."

Ryuzaki paused, looking more intensely at the beginnings of his creamer-cup tower. "If there were other notebooks in the human world, would they all have the same rules?"

Rem's breath hitched momentarily. _He knows_. But then she impatiently said, "Yes, they are all the same. Even the rules for when a human uses it are the same from one death note to another."

Aizawa shouted, "Ryuzaki, Light and Misa are completely clear. The surveillance of those two is over."

Matsuda nodded. "Yes, there's no denying their innocence."

Ryuzaki hesitated as he was about to stack one more creamer cup, then withdrew his hand. "I understand," he said, "Sorry for everything up until now."

Soichiro walked over to Light, putting a hand on his shoulder, then said, "Light, I'm so glad."

Light turned toward the man he was still handcuffed to and said, "But, we can't say this is over, Ryuzaki. Since Kira and the second Kira operated at the same time, there has to be at least one more notebook. And I'm thinking that the Kira who operated before I was imprisoned showed a different pattern of killings than Higuchi. I want the handcuffs removed, but I'd like to stay here and investigate with you, Ryuzaki."

Ryuzaki started stacking the creamer cups faster. Keeping his eyes downcast the entire time, he said, "Yes, you can stay, Light. Misa will be sent away. We won't observe her, Mogi will stop being her manager and she won't be allowed inside the building anymore. She'll be an outsider to this investigation and nobody should pass any more information to her."

Light said, "Then, I guess when I meet with Misa it will be outside of here."

Ryuzaki was so startled he almost knocked over his new stack of creamer cups. "You want to meet with her?"

Rem had a sinking feeling about this. Light and Misa had spent months being observed by this very perceptive man, Ryuzaki, the great detective L, and yet he was surprised to hear Light wanted to date Misa? How badly had that relationship been going?

Light said, "She's told me she loves me so many times, and even risked her life for me. It's natural that my heart would be moved."

Ryuzaki just continued to stare, a look of disbelief plastered across his face.

Then it hit Rem. Light's love had always been fake, so of course it had disappeared entirely when his memories had been gone. Without a reason to manipulate Misa, he just didn't want her. Rem stared up at the monitor showing Misa curled on a couch, reading a magazine. She looked so oblivious, yet so vulnerable. Light brought Misa nothing but harm, yet Misa let herself be happy with the illusion. At least, in the short time Misa had been "together" with Light before L captured her, Rem hadn't seen that hateful razor come out even one time.

If anything, Light made Misa more insane, encouraging the fake mask she wore, but it was a happier kind of insanity, not a sad kind. Misa desperately wanted a purpose, and Light gave that to her in his own sick way. But how was Light going to date Misa after this? Wouldn't the rest of the investigation team notice that Rem was attached to Light and start to suspect something? And why would Light be interested in Misa when she no longer had talents for him to use? Was Light just doing it because he was afraid Rem would kill him if Misa became unhappy?

Rem was pulled out of her thoughts when she realized Ryuzaki was talking to her again. "The deal," he said, "Higuchi made a deal with you. The second Kira's video mentioned the eyes. Those eyes can see a person's name just by looking at their face, am I right? Are you not allowed to tell that to humans?"

Rem glanced at Light for a cue, and he immediately said, "Of course that's what those eyes do. You can easily figure that out from Higuchi's behavior after he made the deal, with him killing that officer by just looking at his face, and trying to see Matsuda's face again after making the deal, even though he had seen it before."

"Yes," Rem said, "You two are pretty sharp. Since you've figured out that much, I won't deny it."

Ryuzaki said, "And, the deal is?"

With one more glance at Light, Rem said, "Concerning that, I cannot tell anyone except the person who kills with the death note."

Suddenly, Rem felt very tired. It was so unfair that Light hadn't explained hardly anything about his plan before, and now she had to endure grilling by the world's greatest detective while not letting anything slip. Would she need to judge Light's facial expression before each question she answered? How long could this go on until the detective noticed the cues and leading questions? Light was a bastard. He didn't make anything easy or nice.

Ryuzaki said, "What about the person who uses the notebook losing their memories of it?"

Rem's eyes flickered to Light, but she couldn't read his expression. She said, "I wonder. That never happens to gods of death and I've never used it as a human, so I don't know."

Rem saw the corner of Light's eye tighten in a way that looked disapproving. She'd said the wrong thing? How? Surely it was best to withhold as much information as possible from the investigators, and denying knowledge was better than outright lying, because lies might come out later. Perhaps Light had wanted her to say it in a different way?

Ryuzaki, L, stared into his cup of coffee for the longest time, looking more and more despondent. Finally, Soichiro put a hand on his shoulder and said, "I think it is time we started this."

Ryuzaki didn't look up, but pressed an intercom button and said, "Watari, could you bring the key for the handcuffs?"

Ryuzaki then looked at the monitors showing Misa. "We will let her go today. Her things will be packed up and sent along later. We've been paying the rent on her apartment, but that will cease after this month."

Rem's head whipped around to stare at Misa on the monitors once more. Misa would go, and she couldn't say goodbye without causing the Kira suspicions to revive. It had been so long, and now she would lose Misa again. No communication could pass between them, until some unknown future time when things would be safe again. Would Light be able to date Misa without raising suspicions in the investigation team? Would Rem be able to talk with Misa on those dates? But then, Rem remembered it had never really been pleasant with Misa. Misa was at best indifferent to Rem.

_She never loved you. She'll never love you. She wants to kill you._

"No," Rem whispered.

But, she knew it to be true. When she had told Misa how to kill a shinigami, Misa had immediately admitted her desire to kill Rem, and then Misa had gone on to tell this valuable shinigami secret to Light, who started scheming to kill Rem, scheming out loud right there in his bedroom, and not even trying to hide it much. If Light had never been told of that weakness, Rem could have threatened him into being more cooperative. Misa hadn't made a good decision about this whole Kira business since the very beginning. It was like Misa wanted to die and drag down everyone around her.

_No friends. No friends. Jealous is dead, Misa hates you, Light hates you even more. No other gods of death care much about anything, especially not you._

Rem couldn't watch the monitor any more. She turned away to see Ryuzaki looking at her with a curious expression on his face. Had he noticed any emotions? Was he trying to figure things out? He looked fairly sad himself. The great detective L was losing his prey, the precious Kiras he had spent so long chasing and caging.

The entire rest of the team, except maybe Watari, had turned against him. He was helpless and alone, perhaps going to die soon. Rem glanced at his lifespan and saw about twenty years left. Well, death notes killed you regardless of how much remaining lifespan you had. If L died because of Light's scheming, it could be tomorrow. L looked very young. Probably not much older than Light. Even if he lived out the rest of his lifespan, he wouldn't be that old when he died. It was likely a violent death, especially considering how many enemies the greatest detective must have. It was then Rem noticed that Light was gone, along with the handcuffs. Watari must have come with the key and left already. How long had she been staring at Misa, oblivious to everything around her?

No, this wouldn't do. There was a whole set of lies that needed to be perpetuated to save Misa's life, and Rem couldn't afford to let L notice weird behavior and start drawing conclusions. Though, how could he have any idea what is normal behavior for a shinigami? If Rem had appeared to be too interested in Misa for a while, then she just needed to appear to be too interested in others as well. The interest could cycle around from person to person. Rem glanced back up at the monitors. It appeared that all the others, except Watari, were with Misa, escorting her out in a heartfelt goodbye. Rem couldn't be there. Misa might inadvertently betray that she could see Rem. Just as importantly, Rem might not be able to control her own emotions.

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

I am editing all chapters of this, in order to fix some of the lines that got messed up, to remove old redundant author's notes (ones that are time-sensitive or now out of context) and as part of my quest to replace all instances of "Riyuzaki" with "Ryuzaki" (since I know my preferred spelling is wrong) and to make a few other small edits.

I am not changing any plot points or doing anything more major than, for example, fixing instances when I use "quickly" three times within a paragraph and it just looks odd. The story is remaining the same.


	2. Accidental Touch

CHAPTER 2: ACCIDENTAL TOUCH

Rem turned back to Ryuzaki, to L. He was watching the monitors as well, showing no inclination to join the others. Next to the tower of empty creamer cups, he was beginning to stack sugar cubes. Rem came over by him, reached into the box of sugar cubes, and started stacking along with him. Ryuzaki looked startled for a moment, but then returned his attention to the screens at the front of the room. He looked hungry as his eyes searched the monitors, desperate for any clues before this all slipped away.

Light and Misa hugged in the lobby as the others left. Light turned his mouth away from the camera and buried it in Misa's ear. She suddenly seemed to come alive, with a happy little bounce. Ryuzaki tapped away at the keys fiercely and the camera angles kept changing, but nothing showed Light's mouth. If he was saying anything, it was too quiet to be picked up. Rem finished one wall of sugar cubes and began to build another. Perhaps it would be a house. L absently stacked with one hand, and their hands brushed together for a moment. He pulled away and looked down.

Ryuzaki said, "Do you like doing this?"

Rem replied, "I don't know what I like."

Ryuzaki picked up another sugar cube, balanced it on top of what Rem had just put down, and said, "Always with you, it's 'I don't know' all the time."

Rem said, "I've never done most of the things humans do, so I have no experience. Also, gods of death don't know much. We don't understand ourselves or our own powers, we've forgotten our history, and I'm convinced we're continuing to lose what little knowledge we have."

Ryuzaki picked up three sugar cubes at once, dropped two in his coffee and stacked the third on the growing fort. He said, "That sounds unfortunate."

Rem sighed. "Yes, it is. There are less than fifty of us left, and we continue to decrease, mainly from laziness."

"Laziness?"

"Yes," Rem said, "Most gods of death are extremely passive, and if you don't do anything for long enough, you'll die. Our world is rotting and falling apart. Nobody really does much of anything."

Rem thought she saw a flicker of sympathy in L's eyes.

He said, "I could hardly imagine a world where knowledge only decreased. In this world, knowledge increases. Do you not like your world, Rem?"

Rem looked away for a moment. She wasn't sure what to say. At last, she said, "The only one I cared for in that world died. For now, this world seems more interesting. At least things happen here."

Ryuzaki gave her a calculating look from those deep, dark eyes, those twin pools of ink, and said, "Things like Kira?"

"I'm not very interested in what humans do to each other. I could care less about Kira's goals. Frankly, I think death notes are better if they are in the hands of shinigami. I don't think humans know how to use them. It just causes problems. I did not like Higuchi. He killed many people who did not deserve it."

"Do some people deserve to die?"

Rem shook her head. "Many people deserve to live, yet they don't, they die. If Higuchi killed like a shinigami, he would pick victims entirely at random and only kill once every few years. That would have been better than what he did."

Ryuzaki said nothing for a little while, only continued to work furiously on building the sugar fort higher. Rem helped him.

"So, Rem, you don't kill very often?"

Rem said, "I usually go years without killing. Most death gods do."

Suddenly, the rest of the investigation team spilled into the room and stopped short as they saw Rem and L working on building a rather large fort made of sugar cubes. Both seemed very intent on their work. Soichiro cleared his throat.

Ryuzaki said, "Yes, I realize it is getting extremely late. Everyone who doesn't actually live here should go home. You all did an extremely good job capturing Higuchi, especially you, Matsuda. I appreciate it very much that you decided to risk your life again. You've been extremely brave."

Matsuda turned red, putting one foot behind him on the floor and twisting it.

Light said, "Dad, I know Sayu and Mom haven't seen me in a long time, but I feel like I can't rest until this case is solved. Besides, all my stuff is here and I don't want to be explaining why I've been gone for months and I'm not planning on re-entering college any time soon."

Soichiro looked down and said, "I understand, but don't wait too long. They miss you very much."

Rem looked carefully at Soichiro Yagami. Light's own father was part of the investigation team? There were so many surprises here. Why had Light explained so little before leaving her to her own devices with Higuchi? And now, Light couldn't explain anything unless they could get away from these cameras.

Ryuzaki said, "Light, our room is now your room. I have only a few items to remove, and then I'll be staying in my private rooms whenever I'm not working."

Ryuzaki stood up, an intense look on his face, and purposely strode away, leaving behind the sugar cube fort, coffee and clutter of creamer cups. He had the death note clutched under one arm. Rem fiddled with the sugar fort for a few more minutes, but it was uninteresting without someone else to help. When she looked up, Matsuda was nervously standing in front of her.

"Hi," Matsuda said, "I was just wondering... well... I live here, and I was hoping you would not... watch me while I'm sleeping, or dressing, or showering. There's nothing wrong with you... I just... I'm private... I don't like being watched."

Matsuda put one arm behind his head and giggled faintly.

Rem said, "I understand."

As Rem watched Matsuda walk away, she felt very tired. Death gods don't need to sleep, but sometimes they do so out of sheer boredom, or as a hobby. Rem's exhaustion was a tiredness of the spirit, not the body. Everyone wanted her away from them. These new humans she was able to interact with didn't seem as if they would ever actually choose to be with her. They were just using her as a tool to catch Kira. Although, that was probably for the best. There was a good chance that Light's plan involved slaughtering them all soon. They knew too much.

_Hatred or indifference. That's all anyone will ever feel for you._

Rem got up and stretched her wings out to their full length. This was a new place, after all, and one way to relieve the boredom was by exploring. She launched herself upwards, phasing through the ceiling, then soaring forwards through wall after wall. An hour later, she had developed a good mental map of the building. The skyscraper was huge, but it looked like only three floors were actually being used, mostly as living quarters. There were a lot of labs and rooms full of technical equipment, especially in the basement.

There were some prison cells and hidden rooms that didn't seem to have any way in or out, though there must be secret doors somehow installed. Underneath the building was a high-security parking garage, so the workers could arrive and depart in dark-windowed vehicles without ever showing themselves to any watchers who might be stationed nearby. Then, on the roof, there was the helicopter and a lot of satellite equipment. As long as Light was in the building, every bit of it was within reach of the invisible tether.

Rem could also enter several adjacent buildings, though she thought if Light went to a high enough floor in the skyscraper, then the tether probably wouldn't reach those other buildings. Rem noticed cameras everywhere in the skyscraper, always multiple cameras per room. There wasn't going to be much chance of getting a clearer idea of the plan unless Light left the building entirely.

Rem flew outside and began circling the building, the cool night air rushing past her body. From the outside, every window was a mirror. Of course, this made sense with the investigators knowing there was a Kira out there who could kill with a face. There were cameras outside too, but fewer of them, mostly clustered around the parking garage entrance and the other entrance.

Rem settled on the edge of the roof and looked out at the city lights. Glittering rivers of car headlights wove through the city, always flowing, always sparkling. There was a sense of expansiveness here, not the low gray foggy sky of the shinigami realm. Humans were always moving, planning, doing things. They had bright minds and a bright world. They cared. Perhaps it was because death could snatch them away so easily. Death gave their lives meaning, made them want to do something while they still could. Shinigami had all the time they wanted, so they did less and less, rotting in immortality.

But just as death brought caring, caring could bring death. Rem was acutely conscious of the possibility of her own death, no matter how many lifespans she might choose to add onto her own. Misa was almost too stupid to live. If Light killed off the investigation team, he would probably later find some way to use Misa as his tool again, always putting her in danger instead of himself, and Misa would go along with it no matter what Rem said. Unless Light was extremely good at hiding his Kira activities from now on, Rem might very well be put in a situation where she would be forced to kill herself to save Misa.

And then, even if Rem outlived Misa, what then? Rem was too attached to the human world now. She couldn't go back to the shinigami realm unless she spent most of her time there watching the human world. She could easily find herself caring for other humans and then - even though murder as a cause of death was rare - eventually Rem would care for a human destined to be killed by an attacker, and she'd be faced with her own death again. A shinigami who cared for humans was already marked for death. It was only a matter of how much time.

_Plans. Plans. What is Light planning?_

Rem squirmed. It was so irritating not knowing what Light's plan was, and not being able to ask him anything directly. Was there something Light wanted Rem to be doing right now? Rem thought carefully. Other than withholding information, what could be done? Perhaps, if Ryuzaki, L, still suspected Light and Misa, but thought he couldn't get enough evidence, perhaps he would try to use the death note to get them to confess. True, it was only a small possibility. From what Rem had heard, L had always tried to get real evidence, and he seemed to be willing to die for properly solving the Kira case, but humans could deviate from their normal behavior if they thought death was approaching. If L became convinced that real evidence was out of reach and his own death would be very soon, he might get desperate enough to cheat with the death note. So, maybe what Light wanted Rem to do was to keep watch over the death note, so L didn't write down Light's name and Misa's name along with forced confessions.

Rem jumped off the roof, circled once and glided right through the wall. She needed to find L and see if he had the death note with him. If not, then she needed to find the death note and watch it all night. The rooms passed by in a blur as wall after wall flew into her face without any impact. Where had she last seen Ryuzaki? It seemed like the fourteenth floor. There, a quick glimpse of him as she glided through a bathroom. Rem circled back to the same bathroom, then cautiously stuck her head through the wall to see. The death note was sitting on a wide counter next to a sink. L himself was mostly obscured. Just his fluffy black hair stuck up over the top of the counter. He must be sitting on the floor. L's head kept twitching and Rem heard small pants and moans. Was he really doing THAT?

Rem carefully repositioned herself and saw she was right. L's eyes were shut tightly and his head thrown back. Some of his hair was stuck to his face with sweat, and a faint blush of color pinkened his pale cheeks. L's mouth kept opening and closing, gasping, his tongue roaming wildly inside as if he were trying to fuck his own mouth with his own tongue. His shirt was completely off, wadded up on the floor, and his baggy jeans and pale blue striped boxers were pulled down to his knees. A bottle of strawberry-flavored lubricant was on its side on the floor next to him, dribbling a few drops onto the floor. L's hands were both rubbing up and down his stiff penis with considerable vigor as he panted and moaned. One hand roamed upwards and pinched his nipple, slowly squeezing it and rolling it, leaving behind the pink stickiness of the lubricant.

L returned that hand to his penis and pumped harder, moaning, "Naaaooooooommmmiiiii."

Then, Rem happened to see, right in front of L at his eye level, a photograph of a woman's face stuck to the door of a cabinet. There was no name or lifespan floating above the face. A dead woman.

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

Well, L decided to do some self-loving once he got away from Light's gaze.

I decided to put a very mild LxNaomi in this, as I think he probably had some reason for trying to embrace her in the spinoff novel "Death Note: Another Note: The Los Angeles BB Murder Cases" but if it isn't your thing you can just ignore it. Especially since that novel is sort of incompatible with canon.


	3. Voyeur

CHAPTER 3: VOYEUR

L squirmed, arching his back, thumping the back of his head against the wall behind him and moaning more hoarsely. Then his head dipped forward, far forward over his lap, and he shook a bit, straining as far as he could, reaching out with his tongue to take the tip of his penis into his mouth, massaging it hungrily, almost viciously, spreading the strawberry-flavored lubricant all over his lips and chin as he lapped and lunged, popping the swollen head of his penis in and out of his mouth. His hands continued to stroke the hard shaft while he mouthed himself, whimpering in pleasure.

Rem was envious. Humans had the capacity to experience so much fun. This was just one example of the things humans could do and death gods couldn't. Humans had certain parts of their bodies that gave immense physical pleasure when stimulated. Gods of death didn't have sexual organs or anything resembling them. They had genders, but gender was merely a matter of personal identity, something each shinigami felt sure of with no need to reference nonexistent body parts. There wasn't any way to stimulate a shinigami sexually.

Still, there was a shinigami law prohibiting sex between shinigami and also between shinigami and humans. Why have a law prohibiting something that is physically impossible anyway? Rem had heard that shinigami bodies used to be more suited to eating food in the far past, before their internal organs had degenerated so much. Perhaps it used to be possible for gods of death to have sex, and that was when the law was made.

In any case, Rem felt sure that it was impossible for any shinigami to break that law, having neither the physical equipment nor the mental capacity for sexual pleasure. So, it was an irrelevant law. Even if it did apply to something that could actually happen, Rem knew that shinigami laws could be bent. That was how she had managed to let Misa know Higuchi was Kira, after all. Shinigami couldn't tell humans who the human owner of a death note is, so instead of telling Misa outright, Rem had told her she'd stand behind Kira. When Misa saw Rem standing behind Higuchi, it was as good as telling her, but didn't break any laws. Following this reasoning, Rem had tried to give Misa sexual pleasure in the past. Rem wanted Misa to be happy, after all. But, whenever Rem brought up the subject, Misa dismissed it, and whenever Rem caught Misa masturbating, as soon as Misa noticed Rem watching, she would squeal, throw the nearest object at Rem, and tell her to get out. Misa was never really angry afterwards, just indifferent.

Still, even though it wasn't sexual for Rem, Rem wanted to watch Misa pleasure herself. It was a form of emotional satisfaction. If you love someone, you want to see them have happy moments. Rem wanted to see Misa gasping in pleasure, her sorrows forgotten. It was a nice image to counterbalance the bad memories of Misa crying, angry or just plain suicidal. Rem had developed a skill to observe Misa doing the deed without being noticed. If Rem placed herself just right, and pushed her eye just barely through the wall into Misa's room, Misa hardly ever noticed.

Rem looked at L writhing below her on the bathroom floor, thrashing so vigorously now that he was beginning to get tangled in the legs of his jeans, and tried to conjure up memories of Misa doing the same sort of thing. Misa wasn't as vigorous or as vocal as L. She would dress herself in lingerie, usually crotchless panties and the kind of bra that could be snapped open in front. Then she would carefully run her fingers over herself, massaging her arms, legs and stomach with delicate, quick caresses, leaving goosebumps in the wake of each touch. She would unsnap the front of her bra and tease her nipples and crotch area with the same delicate touches, not enough to satisfy, just to tease, until she was bothered and panting.

Then Misa would lick her fingers until they were dripping with saliva, using one hand to circle her clitoris over and over and the other to plunge inside her vagina. At this point, the panting would speed up, but these sounds were still always quiet, delicate and feminine pants. Sometimes Misa would produce a shiny purple dildo to replace her fingers, but she often got tired from thrusting with her wrists at such an angle and went back to her fingers. Then, usually about five minutes into the procedure, Misa would suddenly twitch several times, arch her back, and have a look of pure pleasure wash over her face as she quietly said, "Oh, Kira."

Rem had offered to hold the dildo for Misa and thrust it according to instructions, but Misa always made some excuse and said that maybe she'd do that some other time. Still, Rem had sometimes caught a flash of combined curiosity and lust in Misa's eyes when she'd asked. Rem just wanted Misa to experience pleasure at its utmost, to be truly happy, and Rem wanted to be there when it happened, gazing at the face to file away the precious memory of unabashed ecstasy.

Looking down at L, now fallen over on his side and stroking faster than ever, Rem recognized the look on his face. It reminded her so much of Misa. It was the look immediately before orgasm, right on the edge. L was deliberately keeping himself in that place of intense pleasure, delaying his climax, keeping it just out of reach to prolong the good feelings. He was talking too now, a steady stream of English in a voice made slightly husky and deeper with lust. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck..."

Rem drank in that pleasure by gazing at L's face, once again feeling wonder at how magical humans could be. Humans thought that flying, moving through walls and killing with a written name was magical, but things like this were truly magical, completely out of the reach of any shinigami. It was so wonderful to see it, like witnessing a miracle, and the thought of being able to cause it or intensify it was very interesting.

L's eyes fluttered open, and he let out a yell, in one smooth movement grabbing the shirt beside him and covering up his crotch area with it. He panted for a few moments and then said, "Rem, if you are going to enter a bathroom you should knock first. Otherwise it isn't polite."

Rem pushed more of her face through the wall and said, "You don't have to stop because I'm here. I've probably been observing humans for longer than you've been alive. I've seen plenty of this before."

L wiped some sweat from his eyes and sat up with his back to the wall once again. L's fingers began twitching and one hand slowly slid beneath the wadded-up shirt on his lap. He said, "Please leave."

Rem glanced over at the death note. She shouldn't let him be alone with it, and watching a highly pleasurable human face was too interesting to pass up.

"No. I will stay."

L squirted some more lubricant into his palm and then started rubbing his erection.

Between gasps and moans, he said, "I'm not really... able to... stop right now. I was... chained to a person for months... without any time off, and... I wasn't able to... do this at all. I've... got too much tension... built up. This is... actually the fourth time... since I started an hour ago."

L rose up onto his knees, pumping his erection with one hand and using the other to go back and forth between his nipples, teasing and squeezing each one. Then he slowly sank back until he was sitting on his heels.

_So, he won't do this in front of a person. That means I'm a thing to him, like a cat or a piece of furniture._

Rem knew that humans would rarely have sex or masturbate in front of another human unless they wanted that human to join in.

Rem asked, "Who is the dead woman?"

That stopped L in mid-stroke. He said, "She really is dead then?"

"Yes. I'm a god of death. I can certainly tell when someone is dead. Who is she?"

L said, "Naomi Misora. She's the only woman I ever loved. She rejected me, and then Kira killed her."

"So then," Rem said, "the Kira case is personal for you?"

L resumed his brisk strokes and said, "Please, let's not talk now. I really want to finish in peace."

Rem looked down at L's face as he struggled to recapture his arousal. His movements were not as sure as before, and though his face was beginning to look very horny, a frown kept flickering across it. Rem missed that previous face of pure, perfect bliss, right on the edge of orgasm. She wanted to see L make that face again.

L leaned forward once again, straining and straining, just barely able to get the head of his penis into his mouth. He ran his tongue slowly around it while stroking the shaft with his hands, emitting a low moan. Then he began almost attacking it, biting, sucking, swirling. The pitch of his moans became huskier, more abandoned and wild. After a few minutes of this he unlatched his mouth and lifted his shoulders, obviously relieved at releasing the strain of leaning over so far, and then began speeding up his hand strokes, panting, moaning, and mumbling English obscenities. Still, something was wrong. L's face was a mixture of bliss and frustration. His left hand kept moving back and forth from the hard shaft of his penis to his nipples, and it seemed he lost a bit of momentum each time his hand left one erogenous zone for another and then he had to work hard to recapture it.

Before Rem realized what she was doing, her hands moved down and began to gently tweak L's nipples. The two buds instantly hardened and L shivered. "Ah, cold," he mumbled.

Rem continued to rub and play with L's nipples. She knew her body was much colder than that of humans. Perhaps it even felt like ice cubes being rubbed against his nipples. She expected L to tell her to stop, but instead he moved both hands to his cock and increased the speed of his strokes. Rem used her chin to play with L's hair and blew the fluffy strands away from his neck while continuing to roll his hard nipples between her fingers. The look of frustration began to leave L's face, replaced by a growing bliss.

"This isn't normal," he said.

But still, he didn't ask Rem to stop. His moans became deeper, his body started twitching and making uncontrolled jerky movements. And then, his face changed. It was almost that perfect face, but not quite. Rem stared into it, drinking in the pleasure, trying to imagine what it must feel like to be a human nearing the peak of sexual bliss. She wanted to see that completely perfect face so badly.

And that is when she did it. She took one hand and phased it through L's body, searching for that pleasure spot she knew was there. She could still feel objects that she phased through, they just felt different than when she was solid. There, there it was. An engorged little knot deep inside, the prostate gland. Rem carefully, delicately held it in her phased-out fingers, then she gradually solidified just the tips of her fingers there, inside L's body, and began squeezing and massaging the organ directly, oh so gently.

L's entire body shuddered and he let out a deep noise somewhere between a moan, a roar and a scream, yet he didn't orgasm. Rem looked closely at his face to make sure she hadn't hurt him, and saw an expression beyond pure bliss. His eyes were half open, swirling with the fog of lust. There were no thoughts in them at all. His mouth was open almost as far as it would go, taking in huge gasps of air. His entire face was pale and sweating except for an intense red fire just on the high points of his cheeks. Periodic shudders ran through his body, shaking him hard. His cock was straining, swollen, almost purple, but his hands were no longer on it. Instead, they hung by his sides, clenched into fists, the knuckles white.

L shuddered hard once more and leaned backwards into Rem, making a strangled, animalistic cry. There was no comprehension in that cry, just mindless, wild arousal. One of L's hands drifted almost absently up to his straining erection and began to gently, weakly fondle it, as if he didn't even realize what he was doing. Rem cradled L's body carefully so he couldn't fall over, and then continued massaging the prostrate directly with one hand while she brought up the other to close over L's hand that was already around his cock, using her hand to guide its movements, pumping gently.

L shuddered hard again, but this time it didn't stop. His entire body was shaking continually, his head tossing back and forth. He said... something... that was probably meant to be a string of words but came out as completely incomprehensible and then the garbled words turned into a strange moan, rising in pitch. Rem started stroking L's penis faster and faster, L's own warm hand shielding it from her cold hand. L's hips were bucking wildly in her grasp, arching up into her hand, sweat rolling down his entire torso in rivulets. Suddenly, L gasped and then his entire body arched backwards hard as he screamed his release, spurting warm white semen into the air, his eyes rolling back up into his head as he thrashed. After only a second, L squirmed and screamed again as an aftershock hit him, his penis still twitching and continuing to empty. Comprehension was starting to come back into his eyes. His body twitched a few more times, pleasurable shocks rolling through his torso and into his arms and legs.

Then L's body went completely limp in Rem's arms and he whimpered softly. Rem looked at his face and saw pleasure, but also some embarrassment. The wheels in his brain were turning again, the deep, dark eyes becoming sharper and more perceptive. L sighed and attempted to get up, but his legs and arms were too unsteady, so he fell back into Rem's arms, panting. After a couple of minutes L tried again and was able to get up. He walked to the bathtub and began filling it.

"Rem," he said, "You reached inside my body to stimulate me. Am I right? Is it the same way you pass through walls?"

"Yes."

L stepped into the tub and sat down, splashing the water up over his chest and arms. He was pale and bony, though not without muscle, and the dark bags under his eyes reminded Rem of the dark eyeholes on the skulls of many of her fellow shinigami. L looked about as much like a shinigami as was possible for a human without using a costume or surgery. He was actually kind of endearing.

L said, "Rem, I do not understand what this type of activity means for a shinigami. I am grateful for the physical pleasure but I don't know if you have any expectations for me. I think this may have been my fault. It was a vulnerable moment for me, after months of no release. I probably should have told you to stop touching me."

Rem said, "Shinigami do not experience sexual feelings of any kind, nor do we have sex organs. I wanted to see your pleasure. It was an interesting experience for me to watch. I like seeing happy faces."

"Rem," L said, "do you mean you gave me sexual pleasure and I gave you emotional pleasure? There is nothing sexual about it for you?"

Rem nodded. "Yes, Ryuzaki. That is what happened."

He said, "So, if I did not want to do this again, would there be trouble? What about if I had sex with a human? Would you be jealous? Will there be consequences of any sort? Will there be side effects?"

Rem said, "Gods of death can fall in love with humans, but I am not in love with you. I was merely bored and lonely. Even if I were in love with you, I would not hamper your romantic relationships with humans. I would like to watch you having sex, but I would not be angry at any human who had sex with you. When a god of death is in love with a human, it is not at all like a human who is in love with another human."

L suddenly looked at Rem with a piercing stare, his eyes very dark and intense. "Are you hoping for more of what we did? If I refuse, what will happen?"

Rem sighed, thinking. Did she really want more of this? Her actions had been an impulse of the moment, perhaps born from the long-term frustration of not being able to create happiness for Misa in any way. Here was someone who didn't shun her, and could be made extremely happy with just the right touches. The opportunity had been irresistible.

Rem said, "I don't know, Ryuzaki. I may continue to be bored and lonely. I might want to keep seeing those interesting faces you made today. Do you want to do it again?"

L plunged under the bathwater briefly and emerged with soaking hair. As he poured shampoo into his palm, he said, "I am... still deciding. You must understand, I'm not the least bit attracted to you physically. Your bodily form is not of my species. But, I am tempted by that trick you can do, reaching inside my body. I'm sure there is no person or device that could stimulate me so directly. I have certainly experimented with lots of devices. Though, to date, no people. But in any case I doubt they could do what you do."

L vigorously rubbed the shampoo into his hair, creating suds, then plunged under the water twice more. He said, "I am still wondering if I lost my virginity to you. Was what we did sex?"

Rem panicked. If one of the participants decided it did count as sex, then would the rule kick in? No, it couldn't work like that. It was impossible for a shinigami to have sex, therefore it was impossible for Rem to break that rule.

Rem said, "No, I think sex has to be mutual in some way, or at least done with a creature capable of having sex. What we did was sexual only from your point of view. As far as I was concerned, it was like watching a show."

"Hmmmmmm," L said, "I suppose that is for the best. I really wouldn't want to think I'd lost my virginity to something other than a human."

L pulled the plug and watched the water draining out. He said, "Rem, is that how the killer notebook works? After the name is written, does a shinigami do the actual killing by reaching inside a human body and stopping the heart?"

"No. The death note works automatically. Shinigami can't kill or seriously injure humans directly. We can only kill by using our notes."

L looked at Rem for some time with his piercing dark eyes, as if he didn't believe her or was trying to figure out some hidden meaning to her words. Then he grabbed a towel, dried his hair and body, and cleaned up the mess of pink lubricant, semen and pink-stained clothing on the floor. Walking into the bedroom nude with the death note under his arm, he made his way over to a large wardrobe and quickly threw on an identical pair of boxers, a white long-sleeved t-shirt and baggy jeans. Then he crawled onto the bed and crouched there, spreading out a laptop and the death note in front of him.

After typing for some time, he looked at Rem and said, "If there was any plan to coerce me or shame me in some way because of what we did, it won't work. Also, if I decide not to participate any more and you try to molest me against my will, I will figure out some way of causing trouble for you in return."

Rem said, "Ryuzaki, I can see your real name. I know who you really are. I know you aren't an underling of that detective, but rather that detective himself. Of course I think you are smart enough to find some way to cause me distress if I try to use sexual issues against you."

L stared at Rem. "That detective?"

"Ryuzaki, I am forbidden to reveal the names I see to humans. I am sure you can figure the rest out."

L said, "Yes, I see."

Then the typing resumed.

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note): **

If something like this did happen to L, I have the feeling he would react in a rather matter-of-fact way like this.


	4. Card Games

CHAPTER 4: CARD GAMES

The next morning, L had descended to the main room of the task force headquarters before anyone else. He had spent the entire night crouched on his bed in front of his laptop, though his motions had become considerably slower around 3AM, and by 4AM he had fallen asleep in the exact same position, staying that way for a couple of hours. When he woke up, he had immediately gone downstairs to the main room where everyone seemed to do most of their work, the one with so many monitors for surveillance video, those monitors now empty of Misa.

Rem stared longingly at the screens as L adjusted them, at last settling on an arrangement that showed three different angles of Light sleeping in his bed and with the rest of the video feeds coming from the cameras stationed around the two entrances. In other words, L had prioritized the biggest threats. It was obvious he still suspected Light and Misa. But, he couldn't do anything, could he? Not with so many others against him. Would his suspicions decrease over time until the whole thing blew over? If there was never any additional evidence beyond the circumstantial evidence that had already accumulated, plus no confessions and no more murders, then L's suspicions could never be enough, could they? Was that the plan? Ignore the problem and it would eventually go away?

Rem turned her attention to L. He watched the monitors intently, eating bites of cheesecake between selecting various items from a tray of assorted pastries, most of them glazed, some with sprinkles. He squeezed each pastry he considered, as if evaluating its tenderness or texture, looking greedy, licking his lips, his eyes big and fascinated. L absently picked off some of the sprinkles and dropped them in his tea, stirring and stirring, watching them swirl around. He looked happy, child-like and very vulnerable. Once again, Rem was reminded of Misa. They both seemed like such kids. The difference was that Misa was almost never happy. Misa couldn't properly relax. She always thought things would get better someday rather than now, she saw happiness only in her future. The present moment never seemed to be adequate. L obviously had no problem with the present moment, even though, if he truly thought that the original two Kiras were getting away, he should be terrified of dying soon.

Light came downstairs at exactly 8AM, dressed immaculately and without a single hair out of place, at precisely the same moment everyone else except Matsuda arrived. Light and L immediately got into a detailed discussion about the merits and problems of various databases that catalogued deaths, and how to integrate them into one big database for the investigation headquarters. Matsuda arrived toward the end of the discussion, looking embarrassed, probably about oversleeping.

Light turned to face the group and said, "Since we now know Kira can kill with any method, not just heart attacks, our current database of criminal heart attacks is not enough. We will need to develop a database with extensive information on deaths by accident and illness ever since Kira began operating, especially in the Kanto region. It is particularly important to include people other than criminals, because that is what led us to Higuchi."

Matsuda said, "Oh man! That's going to be so much work."

Aizawa said, "Be quiet, Matsuda. That's the only thing we can do to try to find the other notebook."

"Matsuda," L said, "I have another task for you. A package has arrived. Take it through the security checkpoints and open it. It is full of cards, board games and various other types of entertainment. See if the shinigami would like to play with you. I suspect Rem might be bored and lonely."

Matsuda giggled nervously and went to the elevator. Everyone else looked either shocked or puzzled. Rem looked to L, but his expression was unreadable. Was this L's way of saying he didn't ever want a repeat of last night's activity?

Soichiro asked, "Why would you think that, Ryuzaki?"

L took another bite of cheesecake and said, "Rem is a creature that exists in order to kill humans. Of course we should think about her needs and well-being. It only makes sense that we should not give her any reason to hate us."

Aizawa looked at Rem nervously and then back at L. He said, "Of course, of course. And, Matsuda wouldn't be good at helping us build that database anyway. He's not skilled with computers."

"Indeed," L replied, and went back to stuffing his face with sweets while discussing more details of the database with Light.

Rem watched Light and L carefully. As they talked, their gestures, the facial expressions that went back and forth and the way they casually invaded each other's personal space without thinking or reacting, these were all characteristics that made them look like two close friends. But, at the same time, there were problems. A kind of tension ran below the surface. At times, L's normally unreadable expression faltered and showed a kind of grim fear or despair for just a moment. Light's face wasn't right either. When L wasn't looking directly at Light, sometimes an evil little smile flickered across Light's lips, or the eyes became narrowed, glittering with a fevered, insane look. Had the two really been friends at University? How long had that gone on? Their interaction seemed poisonous, wrong, danger lurking just beneath the surface. It rather reminded Rem of Light's interactions with Misa, except that Misa would have spent the entire time clinging to Light's arm, bouncing on her toes, and saying completely inane things. At least L seemed to have an awareness that he might be in trouble.

Matsuda soon arrived pushing a wheeled cart with a huge cardboard box on it. He set up a table for the two of them out of the way of the other investigators, under the stairs. It really was quite a huge room for the few workers who occupied it. Rem allowed herself to relax and focus on what Matsuda was doing. There wasn't any chance of L writing in the death note with all the task force members around him and Light himself on guard. Rem would only need to shadow L in the evenings. Matsuda seemed nervous and hyper. As he unpacked the box and began to sort through the contents, he shuffled around quite a bit, often had little laughs, and couldn't seem to decide whether to look at Rem or not.

He showed the various items to Rem one at a time and asked if she recognized anything or had a preference. Rem kept passing on everything. She had seen humans playing games before, but had not paid enough attention to learn the rules or even recognize most of the games. Then, when Matsuda picked up a pack of cards, Rem's eyes widened. She said, "Gods of death play many card games in the shinigami realm."

"Then," Matsuda said, "do you want to play something?"

Rem took the pack and emptied the cards into her hand. Suddenly, she thought of Jealous, and of other shinigami she had known. In particular, there had been one, about a thousand years before Rem had started spending so much of her time with Jealous. His name was Bribank. He was the first shinigami Rem had ever seen die of laziness. He rarely wrote names into his death note, and was obsessed with playing card games. One time, he hadn't stopped playing for eighty years straight, and crumbled to bits as Rem was walking by. His companions in the game merely grunted in irritation, then asked Rem if she wanted to pick up Bribank's cards and start playing in his place. Rem had felt a profound chill at the sheer indifference of it all.

Rem shook free of her thoughts and put the cards back in their package. "No," she said, "I've had far too much experience in these games. Show me something new, show me how to play something I've never played before."

Soon, Matsuda had drawn Rem into playing Go. It looked simple, but was deceptively complex. Every time she thought she was going to win, or Matsuda was, the game suddenly shifted in the other direction. Matsuda gradually lost his nervousness, starting to treat Rem like an actual person. He even got up after he'd won a particularly difficult game and did a little victory dance. Rem almost smiled at him. This guy was obviously stupid, and from what he said he was a mild Kira supporter. Perhaps, just perhaps, if Light's plan were to slaughter the investigation team, this one would live because of not being a real threat and being a possible ally.

As Rem began to appreciate the subtle complexities of Go, she became excited. A fantasy popped into her mind of bringing this game and other new games into the shinigami realm and revitalizing it, making gods of death care about something, anything. But, no, perhaps it would just give them a deeper addiction. Then more would die from laziness. The fault, whatever it was, resided within shinigami themselves, perhaps in their minds. Ryuk was one of the most active and interested shinigami Rem had ever known, yet he was passive and uncaring by human standards, and his fellow gods of death endlessly made fun of him for caring the little that he did. Ryuk himself had, in turn, mercilessly made fun of Rem for caring whether Misa lived or died. He'd cackled in disbelief and said, "You have feelings? But you're a shinigami!"

As Rem played, she made sure to pay attention to Light every so often. There was still a plan, and Light could be trying to drop clues, reliant on Rem to figure it out. Light didn't seem as if he was trying to send any message. He rarely even looked in Rem's direction, and all his actions and words were neutral, controlled, unsuspicious. Although, the world's top detective was right in the same room, so perhaps Light couldn't do much to drop any hints. Still, Light had managed to keep killing with the death note even when under heavy surveillance in his home. Surely, he would be able to figure out something to let Rem know what to do if the need arose.

L was also fairly neutral himself. He looked thoughtful, but said very little except matter-of-fact statements relating to the new database. As the morning turned gradually to afternoon and Matsuda introduced Rem to checkers, L focused on almost nothing except brief, businesslike conversations, the computer screen in front of him, and the endless cups of coffee and assortments of sweets that were delivered by Watari. Sometimes he looked happy, but mostly he looked unreadable, his dark eyes intense with inscrutable thoughts and plans. There were times, however, when Rem saw L staring at Light when Light's back was turned, staring with a very curious expression, not with suspicion, as if he was thinking of Light being Kira, but with a kind of sick, fascinated shock. At those times, Rem could almost feel L imagining Light receiving sexual pleasure from a shinigami. Perhaps L now thought it was usual for a shinigami to seduce humans, and since he suspected Light of being Kira, he thought Light must have had the same kind of experience.

Just as Matsuda was trying to explain the rules of a third new game to Rem, L walked over, delicately holding an ice cream cone in two fingers, and sat down next to Matsuda, facing Rem across the table.

"How are you doing, Rem?" he said.

Rem pulled herself out of her attempt to memorize the rules. For a moment she was glad to see L. Matsuda was fun, and the games were fun, but she'd felt kind of like she'd been pushed off to the side by everyone in the investigation, pushed out of the way and ignored. A burden. Then Rem remembered, this man was the enemy. L posed a threat to Misa's life, and though it looked like Misa was free and clear, it wasn't quite over yet. Even right now, L might be planning to kill her darling.

"Your games have been adequate," Rem said.

"Ryuzaki," Matsuda said, "Rem is very good. Even though we've only played games she learned today, she beat me almost every time, and I wasn't trying to lose either."

"Well, Rem," L said, "I have video games set up in a nearby room, I think you might enjoy those too. I didn't put them here because I think they'd be too distracting for the investigation. For now, I'd like to question you for a little while. If there's anything else you might want, be sure to tell me."

Then L popped the tip of the ice cream cone in his mouth, using a quick swirling motion of his tongue to pluck it off and suck it in. It looked so much like what he'd been doing to his penis that time. Was he trying to hint he wanted another encounter? If so, he didn't drop any more hints. Instead, he wanted all sorts of details about Higuchi. At the very beginning of the session, Rem gave a quick glance to Light, but he didn't even turn toward the conversation, so that meant she was completely on her own. Probably Higuchi was a pretty safe subject. Light himself had already stated that Higuchi's killings showed a distinct pattern different from the Kira before Light had been imprisoned. With that much known and obvious, Higuchi wasn't going to take the blame for Light or Misa. He was simply irrelevant. His only purpose was to get the death note and its fake rules to the investigation team via a route that seemed to be entirely unconnected to Light or Misa.

Rem answered all of L's questions in as much detail as she thought prudent, careful to claim that Higuchi had picked up her death note by accident and that she hadn't been with any Kira before Higuchi. No matter how much L found out about Higuchi's doings, nothing else would really matter. Watari arrived several times to clear away empty dishes and food wrappers while delivering more sweets and, oddly enough, a bowl of soup. L simply dropped a couple handfuls of sugar cubes into the soup, added some tea to it, and slurped it up between popping various sweets into his mouth.

Suddenly there was a harsh beeping from behind Rem. Mogi said, "Oh look, there's Misa at the first floor entrance."

Rem whipped her head around and saw an image of Misa on the monitor. She looked patient and anxious at the same time. Waiting for her Light, the only reason she had for living. Rem's eyes flickered to Misa's lifespan. A wave of horror and worry washed over her. Misa now had only seven years to live, but before it had been fourteen. Ryuk shuffled into view and Rem knew for sure then. Misa had dug up the hidden death note, and did the eye trade with Ryuk.

Since the scrap Rem had touched Misa with in the Yotsuba headquarters didn't restore Misa's memory, and in any case Light was the one who knew where the other death note had been buried, Light must have somehow gotten a message to Misa. Why messages to Misa but none to Rem? Light was making this so hard, the bastard, and Rem was sure he'd manipulated Misa into trading away half her lifespan. Perhaps Rem should have killed Light at the very beginning. All his plans did was bring more misfortune to Misa. This, this must have been why Light had made sure Ryuk became attached to Misa's death note instead of Rem. Rem would have never done the trade with Misa a second time. It was Light's plan from the beginning.

_Please, don't hurt Misa. Please don't hurt her any more. I'll kill you, Light. I'll make you suffer as soon as Misa is gone. I'll give you a painful, humiliating death._

Then Rem happened to catch's L's facial expression in her peripheral vision. He had certainly taken note of her strong reaction to Misa. How much had he seen? Rem's face had been turned mostly away from him, but he'd be able to check the room's footage later for a better view of her expression. Should she turn back and resume the interrogation session? No, turning back now would seem like she was hiding something. Since Misa had obviously caught her interest, Rem should just keep watching and settle down, then turn back to face L in due time. Misa perked up on the video monitor as Light entered into view.

Matsuda said, "Poor Misa! Waiting out there is the only way she can contact Light, since we aren't allowed to have our cellphones in here."

Light and Misa hugged, then Light's mouth once again turned away from the camera and situated itself in Misa's ear. He was certainly telling her something, in a way that couldn't be caught by any microphone unless L had bugged their very clothing. Light stayed there for quite a while, adjusting his hug a few times so that Misa could periodically put her mouth next to his ear as well.

Aizawa said, "I know Light is busy with the investigation, but those two should go out instead of just standing there talking."

Rem saw a tear run down Misa's face, and she looked ashamed. What had Light told her to make her so upset? Was he telling her that all her sacrifices weren't good enough? Would Misa ever satisfy him, even when she offered her life and safety for his convenience? Perhaps Light planned to keep her unhappy and off-balance forever, eternally convinced that if she just did one more thing for him, he'd finally be satisfied. What a perfectly ugly way to maintain control. Humans were so disgusting. Sometimes the indifference of shinigami seemed clean and pure. If you didn't want anything, you'd never hurt others to get what you wanted. Rem's hand itched to write down Light Yagami's name in her death note. If only she didn't need him to complete his plan... if only she didn't fear that Misa would become more suicidal than ever before if Light died.

Then Misa drew back from Light, tears running down her face, and shouted, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I forgot."

Light quickly grabbed her in a close hug, cutting off her words.

Misa forgot what? Not her death note memories, Ryuk's presence was proof enough of that. What could be so important? It must be L's real name. Misa had seen him just once while her power was active. Curse that Yagami boy! He always explained so little. If he'd just given Misa a physical description of L in the beginning, or any hint that it might be possible to encounter L at the campus, Misa would have noted the name carefully, filing it away so that there would be a much greater chance of remembering it later. That must be why Misa had made the deal again. To see L's real name. And, she was so close. There were only a few walls and security checkpoints between Misa and L. Close, but unbreachable for the moment.

Well, that must be the plan. As much as it hurt, it was already done. Misa couldn't give her shinigami eyes back to Ryuk and get those lost years back. But now, the problem of getting L's real name to someone with access to a death note was practically solved. Just one breach in security, one smuggled camera, and it need not be Light or Misa who did it; it could be a controlled victim. Once Misa had the eyes, there were so many ways to kill L. And, the death note was surely well hidden, with Misa instructed not to approach its hiding place unless Ryuk had checked thoroughly for surveillance and followers. Even if L had Misa searched, he wouldn't find anything, and the rest of the investigation team would turn against him even more. Every move Light made further isolated and discredited L. That sick bastard was a genius.

Just then, Watari arrived, pushing a cart laden with more food. This time, it was mostly fruit. L plucked an apple and said, "Rem, do shinigami love to eat apples?"

Rem was stunned. It sounded like L was talking about Ryuk. How could he have such intimate knowledge of the situation and yet Light wasn't arrested as Kira? No, no, it was best to play dumb.

Rem said, "Ryuzaki, I have heard that some shinigami eat, but I've never done so myself. Our internal organs are advanced, highly evolved, and do not require food. I do not know anything about apples in particular."

L held out the apple. "Would you like to try? I think it would be an interesting experiment."

Rem shivered in revulsion at the thought of becoming apple-addicted like Ryuk. There was no way she'd give Light, and possibly others, yet another way to manipulate her. The right thing to do was to never have the first apple. That avoided the whole problem.

"Eating looks like a disgusting habit. I won't do it."

L sighed. "Well, that theory must go then. It probably was just a bit of nonsense."

Rem blinked, but said nothing. It was best not to ask, not to appear to be interested. However he got it, L had received a real clue and he must not be allowed to deduce anything about it. Next, L picked up the death note and showed Rem the place where she had torn off a piece in order to touch Misa in the Yotsuba headquarters.

He said, "In this murderer's notebook, there is a missing piece. Would a person die if you were to write a name on that little piece?"

This was getting too close! Light had used scraps of the death note for many of his tricks. L was too smart, zeroing in... No, just keep playing dumb. The investigators had already agreed that it would be completely unethical to try out the death note, and Rem would be watching so L didn't try it secretly. Besides, they'd all be dead soon.

Rem replied, "I wonder? I've never tried to use it like that, so I don't know."

Just then, Light entered the room.

L looked over his shoulder and said, "You're back soon, I thought you were going to go on a date. You do know you're free to leave here and have a relationship?"

Light replied, "Ryuzaki, I feel like I can't rest or waste any time with the Kira incident being like this. Even though criminals aren't dying at this moment, it seems certain that another death note is out there. Are you saying it's a problem if I'm always here?"

"No, not at all," L said, "you can go wherever you want."

Light moved on, but L stayed, fiddling with his food instead of eating it, staring into space for the longest time, a sharp look in his dark eyes. Once again, Rem could almost see the wheels in his brain turning. L knew something was wrong. How long could this deception last? The longer that Light never left the building, the more obvious it would be that there was something to be discovered. And, Rem had no doubt that L would try to discover it. He would test it, and if he lived long enough, he would find out Rem was linked to Light, and begin to wonder why. It wouldn't prove anything, but it would be suspicious to anyone, not just to L. It would be especially suspicious since it would be obvious that Light knew of the connection and had tried to hide it. Was Light really so sure that he could win quickly, before the question of why he didn't leave the building began weighing heavily on everyone's minds?

Rem wanted to hiss in frustration, but L was right there. He looked ready to start questioning her again at any moment. She spread out her wings and flew straight up, through floor after floor, finally coming out on the roof. She found the tallest thing on the roof - a kind of long, skinny metal framework, maybe an antenna of some kind - and weightlessly settled on the top. Rem had never before wished that she could really tear out her hair, or slam her fist into a wall and have it bleed, but that's what she wanted now. She wanted to harm herself in some way, punish herself for never being able to actually help Misa or protect her at all. This isn't how she'd imagined it when she first approached Misa with Jealous's death note.

No, she was going to make Misa so powerful that nobody would ever be able to harm her again. With Rem by her side and the power to kill any obstacle, Misa was going to regain her confidence, start thinking for herself again, and start taking what she wanted instead of begging others to use her. That's why Rem had even agreed to the shinigami eyes deal. After all, the death note wasn't that powerful if you didn't know a name, and as a hot, young female celebrity who would surely only become more famous, Misa could have an unknown stalker or rapist attack her again at any moment. Misa had cried and begged Rem, "Please, don't let me think I'll ever have to face that sort of thing again. Even with all this power, if I can't stop that, it isn't worth it. I'll be afraid everywhere I go."

Of course Rem had given in. Half of Misa's lifespan was a small price to pay for a guarantee of safety and secure confidence. Rem was sure she'd at last get a happy Misa, but it hadn't happened that way. Misa - practically a goddess of death in human form at that point - was still afraid, and she still bowed and scraped in front of others. Even when Misa found out her sleazy manager was taking too large a portion of her modeling paychecks, essentially embezzling funds, Misa never killed the woman, nor did she use the death note to set up others to humiliate the manager. No, Misa continued to let the thievery happen for months, and then at last let the woman go with a heartfelt goodbye and an enormous severance package.

Rem looked out at the cityscape spread below her, going on and on to the horizon. This time, it didn't seem so much like a symbol of hope, activity and expansiveness. There were just too many people. They created all these structures and routines shinigami didn't have or care about, when to get up or go to sleep, the little back-and-forth movements between work and home, the buildings they used to keep some out and others in, and they were always meddling in each others' lives, trying to control, trying to push, seeking goals and victories, making plans to trap each other. Too many of them wanted to hurt. Perhaps Kira should strike fear into them, break up their routines, make them think hard before they did anything, make them frightened to act, make them passive, less caring, more withdrawn into their own activities, like shinigami would be. Goddamn humans! Why was it so hard to make Misa happy and keep her free of the legal system?

As Rem stayed there and the hours flew by, she knew the task force members would be leaving soon, or perhaps had already left. L would surely be with the death note all night, as he never seemed to let it out of his sight. Rem knew she should go there and watch L, just in case he might want to write down the names of his Kira suspects, no matter how small the chance might be. But she just couldn't. She didn't want to look at a human, any human. So she stayed there all night, looking at the city and the sky, thinking up a few choice fantasies of killing both L and Light, somehow Misa and Rem triumphant, both alive and well. At the dawn, with the brightening streaks across the sky turning from pink to golden, Rem at last felt her anger leaving her. She was tired now, but tired with a job to do. There was some sort of plan, and Rem needed to figure out the best way to be of use in that plan. She plunged down through the floors, seeking that large room where the investigators did nearly all of their work. Surely they would be there now.

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

I have often wondered why Rem didn't kill Light along with L. Light was obviously willing to put Misa in danger and had no love for her. Once Rem was gone, Misa would have no protection at all from Light. It doesn't make sense for a shinigami who loves Misa to leave Misa's future in the hands of Light.

Of course, the main reason Rem didn't do it was because in Death Note, all things get sacrificed for the sake of the plot and Rem killing both of them would have been a very anti-climatic ending. But it still would have been cool if, after Light found Rem's death note, he'd found half of his own name written in it. A plot twist like that would have made up for some of the suckiness.


	5. Video Games

CHAPTER 5: VIDEO GAMES

Rem found the investigators in a state of agitation. During the previous night, sixteen criminals had died of heart failure, immediately after their identities were publicized. L looked genuinely puzzled, Matsuda was arguing that this proved Higuchi hadn't been Kira, and Light was trying to act upset, but today his acting abilities weren't that good. He actually looked kind of pleased.

Light said, "With this, it proves there is another death note in human hands. Isn't that right, Rem?"

Light was finally addressing her directly after all this time? It must be important. This was a clue to the plan, at last. Light wasn't going to abandon her after all.

"Yes," Rem said, "I don't think any shinigami would go around targeting criminals."

What was going on? Light obviously wanted the investigation to continue, and to pursue this new Kira. Plus, he just passed up an easy opportunity to blame things on a shinigami instead of a human culprit. Rem thought hard, trying to imagine why another shinigami would come and drop a death note at just this time. No, it was too hard to believe. Shinigami rarely dropped death notes, so the timing just didn't make sense. Besides, there was no way Light could have arranged for another shinigami to create a new Kira just now.

Could it be Misa? She had a death note now. No, that wouldn't make any sense either. Light could get Misa to obey him about nearly anything, and he'd whispered in her ear for so long that he surely gave her adequate instructions on what to do and what not to do. Light didn't leave anything to chance, and he was too smart to let Misa start killing criminals right now. It was far too suspicious. One tiny slip, and Misa would be caught. Since Misa's guilt was linked to Light's guilt, that would bring enormous danger to Light too. No, Light wouldn't do something so stupid and dangerous. And, Light wouldn't look so pleased at the moment if he really were in so much trouble.

L lifted a tiny panda-shaped cookie to his mouth, bit it, and said, "This started as soon as Misa was released, didn't it?"

Light sighed in exasperation and said, "You're still thinking about that? Even if Misa did have Kira's power, using it at a time like this would be incredibly stupid. We could also say this happened at about the same time Higuchi died."

L reached into his box of cookies and said, "That's true as well."

Immediately, Soichiro and Aizawa started simultaneously yelling at L, bringing up the 13-day rule and accusing him of being stubborn, vain and never willing to admit he was wrong. L sat silently through the whole tirade, looking dejected and confused. As soon as the other two men stopped talking, L said, "Yes, I'm sorry."

L sat there in confusion for a while, nibbling his cookies and looking genuinely lost. Obviously, he also thought that the new turn of events didn't make any sense according to his theories.

Then L looked fierce. He picked up his panda-shaped cookies one at a time and broke the little bears, aggressively biting the pieces. He said, "Well, if there is another human out there using a murderer's notebook, I will certainly catch that person."

Soichiro asked, "But how can we look for them if they only kill criminals?"

L replied, "Well, now that we know how they kill it will be easier. As soon as we find anyone who is the slightest bit suspicious, we will search him or her thoroughly for the notebook."

If it was Misa, she could be caught very easily with such a method. Misa was stupid, and even if she had Ryuk on guard duty, he wasn't that reliable. Enough surveillance combined with surprise searches would definitely catch Misa sooner or later... probably sooner. But, it couldn't be Misa, could it? The only way it could be Misa is if Light was extremely confident in his plan, if he was completely sure the plan would remove all danger before the investigation would have time to reconsider Misa as a suspect. Did he have an extremely fast-acting plan already in place, unknown to Rem? Rem looked around at the investigators. Would they all start dropping dead soon? Perhaps even today? Still, it didn't seem like Light to be willing to put himself in any danger when he could just wait.

Light said, "But, Ryuzaki, even if we catch this person, can we properly convict them as a mass-murderer?"

L dumped his box of cookies out on the counter, miniature pandas spilling everywhere, even on the death note itself. He said, "We cannot do that without telling more people about the notebook and then demonstrating how it works. It would be extremely dangerous for knowledge of this notebook to spread beyond the people here. The potential for abuse is very great."

"No," Matsuda said, "it should be possible to convict them without the notebook. We'll have the proof here, even if we can't send it out."

Soichiro shook his head. "No, Matsuda, I don't see how we can have a trial without putting up the notebook as evidence and having at least one person killed as a demonstration."

"Well," Aizawa said, "I think the higher-ups would believe L if he said he was 100% certain he'd found Kira but he just couldn't show them the proof for some reason. If there couldn't be a trial, they would probably call for a secret execution."

L said, "Yes, that's probably how it will be for any Kira we catch. And, if we can't get them convicted or executed by others, then we should force them to write their own name in the notebook. But, these are all things we shouldn't be thinking about until after the capture. There will be time then to work out the details."

L began forming the tiny cookies into several lines. Light was smiling. He must be sure things were going very well. Why did Light even bring up the idea of how Kira would be treated after capture, and how could that make him so pleased? Wait, Light was drawing focus to Misa's death if she got caught, and if Misa was now active as Kira, he had put her in trouble deliberately. That meant...

No! That couldn't be the plan, could it? It must be, it had to be. Nothing else made sense. Rem wanted to be angry, but the only thing she felt was a sinking sadness within, a horrible despair that filled her completely. Light wanted to create a situation where Rem would be forced to kill in order to save Misa, and he wanted it to be completely clear that Rem was deliberately extending Misa's lifespan by doing so, not merely ensuring Misa's happiness. He wanted Rem to die for sure. That way, he wouldn't have any trouble because of the investigators noticing that Rem followed him. He must want to keep some of them alive for his plan.

Light wanted to remove anyone who might still consider Misa a suspect, which would probably be just L and Watari, and then he would use his intelligence and manipulation skills to lead the rest of the investigators in a direction beneficial for himself and Misa. He could use the existence of this Kira investigation team in order to prevent another team from forming, and he could also use it to help keep tabs on anti-Kira activities worldwide, to see threats and squash them quickly.

Rem thought carefully. Was there any way she could still kill Light? No, there was no way killing Light would save Misa, and even if it would, Rem would still end up dead as a side effect. Plus, Misa would probably become drastically suicidal and unhappy. Killing Light would need to wait until after Misa's death, when it would be pure revenge and carry no consequences. Perhaps that was another reason Light wanted to ensure Rem's death. He was smart enough to know his use and abuse of Misa would eventually earn him a painful death unless Rem died first.

Damn Light! There were certainly ways to clear Misa and himself that didn't involve killing Rem, he just didn't want to try them. Was Light really so cocky and sure of himself that killing Rem was his only plan? Rem had said she'd be willing to die for Misa, but how did Light know she hadn't been bluffing? He'd taken a big risk if relying on Rem was his only plan. Well, if he did have a back-up plan, he would be certain to keep it a secret from Rem, because otherwise it would lessen Rem's willingness to kill herself. Light was doing everything he could to turn up the pressure and make it so Rem had no choice in the matter.

The crucial elements were how much time Rem had to decide how to act, and how many people she could kill if she ended up following Light's plan. Since the investigation was certainly not pointed at Misa at the moment, and furthermore even L himself seemed to believe it would be too stupid and nonsensical for Misa to start killing just at this time, Rem probably had at least a couple of days to find an alternative to suicide. But the longer she delayed, the more chance that Misa would become a suspect again. Then, what if Rem did need to kill herself? Rem thought back to Jealous's death. It seemed like... yes, Rem was almost completely sure he'd started to crumble as soon as he'd finished writing the name. Jealous had also seemed to be in pain while he was crumbling.

Rem calculated. She could undoubtedly kill one person, but if she didn't finish off both L and Watari, Light might have some trouble with the other one. The two were obviously a unit, and if either died alone, the other would be suspicious. Could she still write while she was crumbling? If she was determined, if she ignored the pain, as long as her fingers didn't fall apart too fast... probably she could kill two people total, maybe three. But, it seemed Light wanted to keep all the unsuspicious investigators alive anyway, so not killing three shouldn't be an issue.

So then. Two days, maybe more. If L started to make an unfavorable move, she could always kill him and Watari instantly, but until then, there was time to find another plan. Rem felt better. Perhaps Light would not win as easily as he thought he could.

What could be done? Perhaps make a deal with L? No, because previously when the police had televised the offer of a deal for the second Kira, they had only made vague promises of a "softened" punishment, and it hinged on the second Kira being willing to turn in the first Kira. By now, Misa had killed many more people so it would be even more difficult to get her a soft punishment, and she would never turn in Light. Even worse, Rem probably needed both Misa and Light to be relatively unpunished, and she couldn't see L or the police ever agreeing to that. Maybe, in the right extreme circumstances, they would let Misa and Light go if they thought it was the only way of ever ending the Kira killings, but how to create those circumstances? There was so little time.

Besides, any kind of deal would be very risky. Rem couldn't actually come out and say who the current owners of the death notes were, so she would need to hint instead. Knowing the investigators, they would probably take this to mean that Rem hadn't wholeheartedly turned in her accomplices. But, if Rem started talking about wanting a deal before indicating who was acting as Kira, then the investigators, or at least L, would immediately think of Light and Misa, and if the offered deal weren't acceptable to Rem, Misa would be pursued faster. There was no way to even tentatively ask for a deal without giving away at least some of the truth.

Then, what about using threats? Rem was a god of death, after all. With threats, they would be forced to make a deal on her terms, not theirs. But there was a problem. Any threat to kill would be a bluff, and merely making such a threat would increase the number of investigators who would suspect Light and Misa. Rem needed to keep that number to two in case she had to fall back on the suicide plan. Rem couldn't kill someone as a demonstration either, because that would still count as killing for the purpose of saving Misa and Rem would die. And bluffs were dangerous. Surely L, at least, would eventually figure out it was a bluff. Why merely threaten to kill if you could just kill and get it over with?

Then, what about finding a way to signal Light that she wasn't willing to kill herself? Would Light believe that and then be forced to put an alternate plan in motion? If so, it would be a difficult battle of wills. Light was stubborn, overconfident and believed he could manipulate anyone. He would probably hold out, sure that Rem would give in at the last moment anyway. And, Rem would, she had no doubt about that. Light might even do something to put Misa in even more danger just to turn up the heat.

Rem would need to come up with her own plan, then. It was simple really. She just needed to get photos of everyone to Misa. If everyone died, Light wouldn't need to explain why Rem was attached to him. It would deprive Light of a compliant investigation team that he could later use to reign better as Kira, but Light was resourceful. He could be Kira without also being part of the investigation team. A smart person with Kira's power would have so many ways to hide themselves and also keep tabs on any threats. Besides, it seemed safer to eliminate everyone who had ever known that Misa had been a suspect.

Photos, that's all Rem needed. And, Misa could hardly go two days without seeing Light. That was the one way she disobeyed Light. Soon, Misa would come, and there were blind spots on the outside of the building because most of the outside cameras were at the two entrances. It would be easy to talk to Misa in private. Yes. Rem just needed to keep watch without seeming to keep watch. Misa would help, there would be photos, and everyone in the building except Light would die.

Just then, Rem realized that Matsuda had been trying to get her attention for some time. He was motioning her towards the elevator, probably to go to the room with the video games. Rem considered. If she played with Matsuda all day, and then Misa came and Rem immediately went outside, it might look like she was trying to meet with Misa. But if she lurked outside waiting all day, it might also be suspicious. It would be best to go outside frequently while also doing things indoors. Rem turned and followed Matsuda into the elevator, going up one floor, through a hallway and into a room containing plenty of computers, with couches, chairs and small tables scattered about. Rem realized that this room was actually almost right next to the main investigation room. She would just need to go through the floor and a bit to the right, and she could keep track of what the investigators were doing and saying. Still, it was best not to be obvious about monitoring the surveillance video for signs of Misa arriving.

Rem turned to Matsuda, who was messing with a video game system, checking which games were available, and cleared her throat. Matsuda looked up, seeming nervous and a tiny bit scared once more, and said, "Yes?"

Rem said, "I would like to see surveillance video feeds, in case something interesting happens. I don't want to be in here and miss the excitement. Could you display video feeds on these computers?"

"Of course," Matsuda said, "I'm not as bad with computers as those guys think."

In a few moments, Matsuda had turned on an entire row of computers, and then he went back to the first he had turned on and made it display a 3-D map of the building, with little red dots showing hundreds of video cameras.

"Oh, that's odd," he said, "Ryuzaki's rooms are off limits now, but they never were before. It shows the video is still recording, but you need special security clearance to view it. I wonder why he's being private now? You'd think, if anything, he wouldn't have wanted people to look at him all those times he was showering with Light."

Matsuda quickly blushed and looked up. "Not that I think he's gay or anything," he added, "I can't imagine him romancing anyone at all. It's hard to picture him doing something other than working or eating sweets. I'm just slightly jealous because anyone who wanted to could look in my rooms, and it seems unfair for Ryuzaki to have special privileges."

Rem asked, "How does this video system work? Aren't you afraid of your faces being sent out to Kira through the computer lines?"

"No," Matsuda said, "Ryuzaki created an excellent system here. Even though we can look at surveillance videos with the computers, it is all analog. When we watch the videos, it doesn't even put a temporary file on the computers, it is piped directly through. The videos themselves record on tapes in a special room under the basement that is completely sealed off and airtight. Any thieves would need to cut through two inches of steel just to get in. Then, the tape system used to physically record the video is from an odd system. There are only a few machines in the world that could read those tapes, and any thief, no matter how skilled, would probably need at least a few days to locate the right machine and use it. Plus, the physical tapes have self-destruct mechanisms built in that would tend to destroy the tapes if they left this building. We can't even use the computer monitor displays to create video files or picture files, because the computers have no screen capture software, and furthermore special programs are installed to constantly scan for any software that uses screen capture techniques and destroy it, as if it were a virus. Also, the computers here are divided into several completely separate systems, and the ones that can access the building's surveillance can't connect to the outside world, so they can't be hacked."

Rem was stunned. In regards to the dangers posed by the surveillance system, L had really thought of everything. Probably a good hacker, working from inside the building, could create some photo or video files from the analog screen displays, but Rem didn't have access to a hacker, and any such hacker operating inside the building would probably be caught quickly. Trying to smuggle out the physical tapes wasn't an option either. Even if Rem could make a hole in the secret room's wall without attracting attention and then get the tapes to Misa without activating the self-destruct, Misa would probably never be able to get the right machine and view the video, especially with her technological handicaps. Even worse, knowing L, he was almost certainly keeping a close watch on the few machines in the world that could read those tapes. Well, this only meant that a camera needed to come inside.

Rem said, "Matsuda, why don't you display videos of all the places people are or might appear. The main investigation room and the entrances, I guess. I have no interest in watching empty rooms."

Matsuda quickly brought up multiple views of the underground parking garage entrance, the first floor entrance, and the main investigation room. Rem settled down in front of the video game console, where a blinking prompt was asking her to type in her name as player 2, and said, "It looks very nice outside. I'll probably go out every so often to fly around. If I go out, just wait here until I get back."

Matsuda said, "Oh man, I wish I could fly! You're really lucky. Flying is one of the strongest desires humans have."

Right then, Matsuda's face looked so wistful. He just needed a bit more to be happy, a little push. He was really close to the emotion Rem wanted to see. Rem said, "I think I could probably carry you while I fly. Would you like to go flying with me today?"

Matsuda's entire face lit up. He looked so joyful, so full of excitement. Rem drank in the expression. Matsuda said, "Really? That would be great. I've dreamed all my life about flying like that."

Then Matsuda looked thoughtful and frowned. He shook his head. "No," he said, "It can't happen yet. There's no room inside big enough for flying to actually be fun, and if we went outside people might see me from the street. It would attract attention to our investigation building, and could risk the lives of the people in here. We can't leave any clues for Kira."

Matsuda furrowed his eyebrows in concentration for a few moments, then smiled again and said, "But we'll catch Kira, and then we can go flying, right Rem?"

Rem said, "Yes, that would be fun."

She was immediately glad of her offer. Matsuda was practically glowing now, a gentle bliss radiating across his face, his eyes a bit distant and shining with childish fantasies. He hummed to himself excitedly as he prepared the video game system for play and showed Rem how to work the controls. The controller was obviously sized and shaped for human hands; it seemed almost to disappear inside Rem's large, bony hands, and her movements with it were clumsy.

Soon, Rem discovered that games involving traveling through a three-dimensional world were too difficult and frustrating, so they ended up mostly playing 2-D games, especially ones based on puzzles and mazes, or stacking and matching various objects. Rem always kept part of her attention on the video feed from the front entrance, and she made sure to take plenty of breaks where she went outside and stayed for about as long as she judged a conversation with Misa should take. When the real meeting happened, nobody should suspect a thing.

As the day wore on and Misa failed to visit, Rem found herself taking breaks less frequently. Video games really were much more fun than board games or card games, and Matsuda was a delight, much more relaxed and happier than he'd been previously, very chatty and social, telling her all sorts of amusing or slightly scandalous little stories about his family and friends. It sounded like he was a real gossip-monger. He was also, mostly, a loser. In any game that involved accumulating points or direct competition between two players, Matsuda tended to lose, but even so his enthusiasm was unflagging. It was so different from playing games with other shinigami, where emotions were almost completely absent and even a winning streak usually didn't produce much pleasure unless it went on for at least a few weeks. Matsuda was losing terribly, but he was also happy, childishly happy and bouncy. He sat cross-legged on the floor, his eyes alight with excitement, sometimes making little sounds to go along with the video-game noises.

Eventually, L made an appearance, carrying a bag of candy. Matsuda looked up and said, "I can't believe I'm in a top secret investigation that's important to the entire world, and I'm being paid to play video games. Isn't it silly?"

"Indeed," L said, and crouched on the floor beside Rem, ripping the bag of candy open and placing it next to his feet. A few pieces fell out, looking like butterscotch hard candies, all in paper wrappers. L picked up another controller, changed the game to three-player mode, and scheduled himself to play right after Matsuda.

Matsuda said, "I thought you still needed to work on that database."

"It is done. The various databases already existed; we just needed to figure out the right way to merge them into a database for our own use. We've even discovered a new pattern."

"Oh?"

"Yes," L replied, "criminal deaths other than heart failure had an enormous spike right when the first Kira started operating, but these were all among minor criminals. This means that Kira was killing them in secret, because he thought he'd have fewer followers otherwise. Also, right before Raye Penber's death, there were a lot of minor criminals in the Kanto region who suddenly committed crimes and then died during them from causes other than heart attacks. These were the experiments that Kira didn't want us to know about. He actually forced them to commit more crimes, and probably one of those criminals somehow got Raye Penber's ID and showed it to Kira. There were many of them in order to help hide which one was important."

Matsuda sighed. "I've often wondered if Kira is doing a good thing, and maybe it is good when it's murderers and rapists, but the stuff with minor criminals is not right at all. Well, I mean, what if someone was very late in getting a birthday present for his mother, and the store was about to close, and there was only that one place to get the item he wanted, and his mother would never be satisfied with anything else, and he realized he forgot his wallet, and then he just slipped the item into his shirt and left, without really meaning to?"

L chuckled. "It's okay, Matsuda. I don't think Kira would have killed you for shoplifting. Although, he did kill a purse-snatcher once. Maybe, if Kira eludes us for long enough, he'll get crazier and then even shoplifters will regularly get the death penalty. Though, in that case I think most stores would stop reporting shoplifters, because they would feel too guilty."

"That's all true," Matsuda said, "but I do think a lot of the more serious criminals need to die. When I hear what they've done, I... I can't stand it. It's so wrong. I often wish they would just stop existing. I know it sounds like I support Kira but... it's... it's just an emotion I have... it's not like I would worship him or anything."

"Hmmmmm," L said, "if the bad people would just go away, the world would be right. That's a very childish idea of justice. Real justice is complicated."

L picked up a piece of hard candy, balancing it on one finger and looking at it with his wide inky eyes as if he were talking to it instead of Matsuda. In a soft, child-like voice, he said, "Some murderers, even unrepentant ones, eventually become good and help society. And, even criminals have children who cry for them if they die."

L placed the piece of candy on the floor and began rummaging in the bag for a new one, seeming to select carefully even though they all looked identical. He said, "There is also the issue of police safety. If every murderer expects Kira's judgment, then they'll never let the police take them alive. I think if Kira operates long enough, you'll see a lot more deaths among your fellow officers. A justice system that shows some mercy is much less dangerous for those who operate it. Kira works in safety, but the police must risk themselves to arrest Kira's victims."

Matsuda gasped and his hand flew to his mouth. He said, "Oh, I never thought of that."

L said, "Even beyond the issue of police safety, there are some completely vile, despicable criminals who should be left alive for one reason or another."

L continued, "Take the example of Jacques Moliere. Ordinarily, I'd say he's exactly the sort of person that Kira should judge, if Kira should judge anyone. He was a pedophile, a murderer, and he had been a major figure in the human trafficking scene of five different European nations for over two decades. Furthermore, he was unrepentant. He outright said that whorehouses should be able to offer children to clients."

Matsuda made a face. "That's horrible. But, you didn't want him to die?"

"The problem is," L said, "Kira didn't know, because of course the police never released this information, that in return for commuting his death sentence to 15 consecutive life sentences with no chance of parole, Jacques Moliere was leaking information about his accomplices. The police were going to rescue 14 little girls who had been sold into prostitution. The youngest was five years old. But Jacques Moliere was killed by Kira before he could say much and without his help all the case's leads went cold. If not for Kira, those girls could have been saved, and if Moliere had kept being cooperative to get little privileges in prison, maybe a large portion of southern Europe's human trafficking system could have been disrupted. Jacques Moliere was the most despicable human being imaginable, but he never would have got out of prison or hurt anyone again if he'd been left alive. Kira has no idea what he is really doing."

Matsuda had entirely stopped playing the video game. He looked stunned. Little colored blocks of various shapes were gradually piling up on his screen, but he didn't look at them.

L looked at Matsuda, and an expression of pity came into his face. "Matsuda," he said, "we can't walk around all day carrying the burdens of Kira's actions in our hearts. A good detective needs to be able to step back from law enforcement work and not take it so personally. Otherwise, you'll burn out when you are still young and you won't be able to contribute as much to the cause of justice. I've had to deal with a lot of serial killers in my various cases, and I've learned to be calm about it. You can't always be thinking about the people who have been hurt. It helps to keep your focus."

"I know," Matsuda said, "it's just... I hadn't thought much about things like this before, and then suddenly... it's all so much."

L awkwardly placed a hand on Matsuda's shoulder and patted it, as if he didn't really know how to react to another distraught person. Then he said, "Well, if it makes you feel any better, the pattern associated with the first Kira stopped before Higuchi even started killing, and the Kira we are dealing with now shows an entirely new pattern, so I'm sure that person is not the first Kira either."

"What is the new pattern?" Matsuda asked.

"This new Kira kills fewer criminals per day. Perhaps this Kira is a busy person or someone who is restricted somehow. They are not technologically adept, as none of the cases come from the Internet and only a few are foreign. Furthermore, it is almost all murderers. So far, there is no sign of killing off minor criminals, secretly or otherwise. I suppose this is a nicer Kira than the previous ones."

"Ah," Matsuda said, "that does sound better. If we do have a Kira, I'd rather it was one that wasn't too bad."

And, Matsuda was comforted just that easily, even with someone as awkward as L trying to reassure him. His face relaxed and he returned to his game, squealing and yelling as he tried to undo the jumble of colored blocks that had accumulated while he hadn't been paying attention. Rem looked at Matsuda and felt envious. Why couldn't Misa be so easily calmed? When Misa got worked up even half as much as Matsuda had been, she took hours to settle down.

Rem glanced at L. He, too seemed to have forgotten about the conversation, and had a calm composure. His dark eyes were filled with an intelligent focus, as he methodically reached into the torn-open bag of hard candy near his feet, using a single finger to slide out one piece after another, lining them up on the floor. When he had created a fairly long line, he picked up one piece, pulled off its wrapper, and popped it in his mouth to suck on. He glanced at the computer screen and saw the last few blocks stack up past the top, ending Matsuda's turn.

L started playing then, and he was very good. Rarely did more than three shapes sit at the bottom of his screen. As time went on and his turn simply didn't end, even Matsuda stared at him wide-eyed. Furthermore, L did this while constantly fiddling with his candy and carrying on a conversation with Rem, mostly about the shinigami realm. Rem couldn't imagine any way the information could be used against Misa, and she didn't think she could believably make up facts on the spot and keep them consistent, so she simply told the truth. Talking about the shinigami realm made her appreciate the human world more. She looked at the two men on either side of her, both happy, and wished she'd been stuck watching over them instead of Misa and Light.

Matsuda was happy in a very simple, child-like way. His attitude was cute, but he wasn't that intelligent and he would probably start to get annoying over the long term. L was also happy and childish, but he had completely different qualities than Matsuda. L was the one who acted the most like a shinigami, with his tendency to indifference and his often-unreadable facial expressions, but he was a bouncing bag of hyperactivity and emotion when compared to any real shinigami. In some ways, Rem could imagine that L combined the things she admired most about shinigami and about humans into one package. As an added bonus, he didn't seem the slightest bit suicidal, and nothing seemed to disturb him for very long. He was... very nice to be with.

L suddenly stopped playing and said, "It looks like I'm about to reach the maximum points that the counter can even display. I guess I should play with a big handicap or the two of you will never get a turn."

"How do you do it?" Matsuda asked.

"There are only five shapes and seven colors. The shape and color is always random, so I just imagine a plan for each possible item that could appear, and then by the time the item comes into view at the top of the screen, I just follow the plan I've already made to place it the best way."

"But," Matsuda said, "that's a lot of possible combinations. You develop all those plans while the previous block is descending?"

L placed a thumb just below his bottom lip and said, "No, I usually develop those plans three or fours turns ahead of time. On second thought, I shouldn't play this game with you at all, even with a handicap. Also, everyone else went home six hours ago. I should probably get some things done."

L scooped the loose pieces of hard candy into the bag and picked it up by pinching it delicately between two fingers, then he picked up the death note with his other hand in a similarly delicate manner, and began walking away, slouched over as usual, his fluffy, spiky black hair bouncing subtly with each step.

Matsuda jumped up, alarmed, slapping one hand to his forehead. "Oh," he said, "I didn't know it was so late. My aunt and my little cousins were going to... but that was three hours ago... oh, I hope nobody is mad at me."

As Matsuda turned to leave, he suddenly turned back and said, "Ryuzaki, I feel kind of bad playing games all day while the rest of you work so hard to catch Kira. Are you sure this is important to the investigation? If there is a better way I can help, I'll do it."

L replied, "Rem is a piece of the puzzle. If we get all the pieces and learn how to assemble them and understand the whole, we will solve the Kira case. I myself have been spending time trying to understand Rem, so you can be sure it isn't pointless."

Matsuda smiled appreciatively and then rushed from the room. Rem watched him go, and then looked back at the game. It was waiting for her to push a button to start her turn. Rem looked to the surveillance video monitor that showed the first-floor entrance. The video was still running, showing the dark street in the background and a few patches of starry sky. Misa hadn't come at all and she surely wouldn't visit so late. Light was almost certainly asleep. Rem walked over to the monitor that showed the now-empty main room where the investigators spent most of their time, and fiddled with the keyboard, trying to get it to show the 3-D building map so she could switch the video feed to Light's room and surreptitiously monitor him. Instead, it just flipped from camera to camera inside the same room until it had cycled back to the original camera.

Rem sighed. What did she want? The video game was still trying to prompt her, and it had been quite amusing, but she felt it wouldn't be much fun by herself. She could personally go to Light's room and see if he was doing anything, but, no, that would be pointless. She already knew his plan and the only thing that might happen is that someone could notice the visit and suspect she was on Light's side. Then Rem suddenly remembered. How had she forgotten? L kept the death note with him, and she needed to watch it every moment that Light or the others weren't watching.

Rem spread her wings and rose through floor after floor, finally zeroing in on L's suite on the fourteenth floor. Rem phased through the wall into L's bedroom and stopped. L was sprawled out on the bed, completely naked, half-reclined onto a pile of pillows behind him and with his legs extended in front of him instead of pulled up in his usual crouch. He said, "Ah, Rem, you didn't come here last night. I've been waiting for you. Would you like to have some fun?"

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

I feel that Death Note didn't do enough (in fact it hardly did anything at all) to show the effects that something like the Kira plan would actually have on the world.

There would be both good and bad effects. Though, in my opinion, the bad would clearly outweigh the good (and I think the canon author thinks so too, as this was shown a little in the second half of the series when the media was so eager to pander to Kira's wishes, Kira's world seemed kind of like a dictatorship, and Kira followers generally seemed like crazy fanatics). One of the bad effects would be that criminals might get killed before they could be convinced to turn over their accomplices or otherwise provide vital information to the police.

Also, there would be no particular reason for criminals to refrain from killing cops. Why let yourself be arrested, and face execution by Kira, when you could just kill the cops chasing you and perhaps get away? The remaining criminals would become much more violent towards law enforcement.


	6. Second Time

CHAPTER 6: SECOND TIME

Rem looked at L for a few moments, various thoughts racing through her mind. Did she want to? After all, she had been watching happy faces in front of the video games for some time. But, on the other hand, those faces were nothing compared to the blissful face L could make if she stimulated him just right.

She said, "I thought you were conflicted about doing such a thing. Are you no longer worried?"

L fiddled with a few items on the bed, shuffling them around, and said, "I suppose it is a terribly perverted thing for me to do, but I like my pleasures very much and, since I'm on the Kira case, I could easily die any day."

He placed one finger on his lower lip, staring at Rem intensely with his dark eyes just peeping out from under the edge of his dark hair, and said, "Especially if these are my last days, I would like to enjoy myself. Besides, I don't really have friends or family to enjoy, so I indulge myself in sweets, the pleasures of unraveling the case, and other activities. What you did to me is the most fascinating thing I've discovered in a long time."

"You don't have any friends or family? I thought all humans had that."

L looked toward the ceiling and began nibbling delicately on his finger. "Well," he said, "there are people I associate with and appreciate, such as Watari, but I don't think they count as friends. Nearly all of them are either much older or much younger than me, and I don't really engage in normal social activities with them anyway, and some I only see once or twice a year, so most people wouldn't count them as my friends. Light is actually the closest thing I've ever had to a friend, but I'm not sure if I really want to call him that. My relationship with him has serious complications."

Rem asked, "You never had friends as a child? You never had parents?"

L said, "My parents died when I was five. They were in a car accident. The car was kind of twisted around a tree and partly flattened, and I was the only one small enough to crawl through a gap to safety. I went back in several times and tried to pull them free, but the metal was wrapped around them too tightly. Nobody came to help. My parents kept calling out to me, but after some time they died. There were no other relatives."

Rem felt emotion stab sharply through her heart. Once more, she saw the image of Misa crying on the floor, repeating, "I'm so useless" to herself over and over again, as a few feet away her father was being stabbed by a masked burglar. L was just like Misa. He'd experienced the same tragedy. Though, he didn't sound very upset about it. He was relating the story in a matter-of-fact tone of voice, with only the barest traces of pain. It was an old wound, almost entirely healed.

"Then," L continued, "I was put in a place with other children, but I hit anyone who tried to touch me until they learned better, and I ignored most people who spoke to me. After a year, none of them ever again tried to make friends with me. I was given an entire room full of computers and I configured them exactly the way I wanted, using them to communicate with knowledgeable people and experts from all over the world without letting them know my age."

L paused, drew his knees up to his chest and placed his hands on top of them. He said, "When I was nine, I solved my first case, catching a serial killer for the police. I continued to solve cases, keeping my identity hidden because I knew the police would never accept my help if they knew my age. By the time I was fifteen, I would have been killed thrice over if I hadn't been anonymous, so I decided to continue to hide. At that time, I really only got along with adults, usually much older adults, and some kids who were much younger than me, if they were intelligent enough. When I was fifteen there were some five-year-olds I spent a lot of time with, but any human will tell you that a fifteen-year-old and a five-year-old cannot be friends. Maybe a mentor-pupil relationship, but not friends. There were a couple of extremely intelligent people my own age that I felt drawn to for a while, but we never really got along well, and then one committed suicide and the other ran away, eventually becoming a criminal and then dying."

"So," L said, "I moved away from that place and dedicated myself to my work, traveling the world with Watari. Hardly anyone ever saw my face unless I was pretending some role other than L. I wasn't really interested in what most people did with their time, and I never stayed in one place for long enough to make a friend, so I didn't make friends. I suppose those former five-year-olds might be getting old enough to count as real friends pretty soon, except that they look up to me too much and I hardly ever communicate with them. If they never come to think of me as an equal, they'll never be my friends."

"So," Rem said, "is Light your friend then?"

L drew his legs in even closer and looked down, an unreadable expression on his face, his dark eyes wide and penetrating. He stayed like that for a time, occasionally fidgeting. At last he said, "Light is... close to being my equal. When I talk with him, I feel as if I'm really talking to him, which is not true with most people and a major reason why I lose interest in them. I've spent a great deal of time doing the sorts of things with him that friends do, more than I have with any other person. He would be a friend except..."

L took in a big breath. "There is the issue of trust. Friends trust each other. I do not trust him and I have trouble believing I ever will."

L said, "Now I've told you my life story, though there aren't any details in it that would give keys to discovering my real identity to anyone you might tell it to. Why don't you tell me yours? After all, we are starting to get rather intimate."

Rem said, "I, well, I didn't pay much attention to time at first, and the shinigami calendar is different than your world's calendar, but I think I appeared sometime around your year 300 BC."

"Appeared?"

"Yes. Shinigami simply appear in our world. There is no such thing as a baby shinigami or a child shinigami. We are all adults when we appear. We never change."

L looked positively fascinated. "So, you appeared," he said, "go on, then."

"I don't know what to say," Rem said, "shinigami life stories are nothing like human life stories. We don't really do anything, we don't have roles such as careers or any purpose, and nothing really changes. We sit around, we play card games, we occasionally kill a human. Those few who wander around our world exploring are considered quite hyperactive by shinigami standards, and they get made fun of. The same goes for anyone who spends time watching the human world or, worse yet, visiting it. It is considered perfectly normal to sit in one place for a few years, doing nothing but staring into space."

"But, Rem," L said, "I have already deduced that you are far from a normal shinigami. Don't you have something in your life story other than random, meaningless events?"

Rem said, "Well, I was always more active than most of the others, but I didn't really think I was that unusual. Then, eventually, I began to get concerned about our decreasing numbers, though it seemed nobody else did."

"Decreasing?"

"Yes," Rem said, "There were perhaps a thousand shinigami when I first appeared, and though new ones appear from time to time, the overall population does nothing but shrink. Anyway, I did have some concern about it, and I also worried about some of the uncaring behavior shinigami displayed. I was unusual, but not too unusual. I didn't think about those things much, and I mostly acted like the other shinigami did. Then, about eighty years ago, I began spending time with a shinigami named Jealous..."

Rem paused. This was potentially dangerous territory. How much did she want to say? No, as long as she didn't say why Jealous died, there shouldn't be any way for L to figure out her weakness, and as long as she didn't drop any clues that she had watched Misa, it shouldn't affect the Kira case.

Rem continued, "Everyone shunned Jealous because he liked to watch the human world through those viewing places I told you about before. One time when I was looking for a viewing place so I could kill a human, I happened to stop where he was and talk to him for a little while, and I liked the conversation enough that I kept coming back. He was very thoughtful, and he cared about things. I believed his hobby was sick and pointless, but over time he showed me how interesting the human world really was. I had previously thought it was as boring as my own world and I'd never really looked at it longer than it took to kill someone, but Jealous showed me how to view it in the right way, by following specific people throughout their days instead of just focusing on some random place and watching people walk by. Jealous was interested in people with some sort of drama or problem in their lives, and, over time, I saw that these lives became stories with interesting twists and turns. I became very involved and I wanted..."

Rem trailed off, realizing that she'd almost said she wanted to protect a human. That would not do at all. Somehow, L was getting her to admit too much. Last time she'd admitted too much, to Misa, it had turned out quite horribly. L was crouched, knees nearly touching his chin, leaning forward perhaps a bit more than usual, his milky-pale nude skin almost glowing in the room's light. His eyes were huge, deep and shiny, with an almost predatory look in them, but a cute predator, as if he were a big fluffy kitten about to pounce. His voice low and even, he said, "You wanted what? You wanted to cause pleasure for a human?"

"Yes," Rem said.

"Any particular human?"

"No."

"Rem," he said, his voice very calm and detached-sounding, "do you want to cause pleasure for me now?"

Rem watched L. It seemed like he was breathing a bit faster than normal, and his eyes looked especially shiny. They were deep, fathomless black pools with a mirrored surface. There was a hint of fascination in those eyes, maybe a bit of anticipation, but other than that, it was hard to read any emotion whatsoever. L looked perceptive, as he often did, with a kind of sharpness to his gaze, intelligent, but inscrutable, as if it would be impossible to guess what thoughts might be revolving in his brain.

He certainly did not look like he'd just suggested a highly unusual act of sexual pleasure. Except for his nudity, he looked almost as if he could be crouched on a chair next to the other investigators, discussing technical details of how to merge computer databases and peering into his tea with a calm fascination. L uncurled, very cat-like in his movements, a creature meant to crouch rather than a human meant to stand upright on two legs. He stretched lazily. Rem could almost imagine his mouth yawning open to reveal cute little cat fangs. Then he indicated the blanket he was stretched out on with a gesture of his delicately extended long fingers.

"This is an electric blanket," he said, "and it is already turned on. If you hold me, use it to shield me from your body's coldness. However, I do like your cold fingers on my nipples."

He gestured toward a stack of things that looked kind of like extremely thick washcloths. He said, "These are heat packs. I suspect we'll only need one, but you never know. Each one heats up if you press your hands down on it hard to crush the contents. The heat comes from chemicals inside and stops after fifteen minutes."

He picked one up and showed Rem both sides. "Each has a side with a cloth-like texture, and another side that is like plastic, slippery. If I get so aroused that I cannot coordinate my hand movements for proper stroking and you take over, use this to protect me from your cold hand. Put the slippery part against me and the cloth-like part against your hand so you can grip well and it won't slide away from you. You might need to put some lubricant on it too."

L picked up a bottle of mint-flavored lubricant, flipped open the top and then lay it down on the bed next to him. It leaked a few light-green drips onto the blanket. He said, "I always leave the bottle open the entire time, as it can be too tedious to open and close it. Don't worry if it gets over everything. I like it messy and this stuff doesn't actually stain."

L gazed at Rem expectantly. He looked businesslike, conducting a transaction. Then Rem suddenly realized that she had never answered his original question. She had somehow gotten lost in the experience of watching him and thinking about him. She quickly said, "I would like to give you sexual pleasure. Do you have any further instructions?"

"Yes," he said, "when you reached inside me last time, it was extremely intense. Do you think you could decrease the intensity a bit so I could have a long, pleasurable session? I am afraid of orgasming right away."

Rem said, "Last time, I tried to touch you delicately. I can try to be even more gentle but I'm not sure if it will decrease the intensity like you want it to."

His eyes widened and he whispered to himself, "So that was a delicate touch?"

It looked as if little wheels were busily turning in his brain, using that information to deduce something and then filing it away for future implementation.

L leaned back onto the pillows behind him, the electric blanket between him and the pillows, his torso propped up halfway, while his legs were extended before him on the bed. He stretched out, pale and dark, such contrasts. His slender, lightly-muscled limbs and his delicate movements made him seem so feline. Something about L didn't feel quite human in that moment. Rem imagined him as a lithe, white-furred lion with a shaggy black mane. He sighed, lust starting to come into his eyes, his dark lashes drooping slightly in anticipation. He squirted a big dose of the minty lubricant into his palm, and then reached out to his already half-erect penis, sighing contentedly the instant his hand made contact. He fondled it for a bit, massaging it between his fingers in a complex dance as it grew and grew, drawing itself upright to its full height. A gentle bliss was spreading across his face as he gave himself over to the pleasure of the moment, his eyes softened with lust, his mouth half-open.

Then L gripped his penis firmly in both hands and began stroking briskly. His head started tossing back and forth, his back arched twice, and then he yelled out, "Oh, fuck yes!"

After that yell, he really went to work, speeding up his strokes and tightening his grip so his knuckles reddened, gradually becoming more abandoned in his movements, his body twitching and jerking, a constantly escalating stream of moans and gasps escaping his lips, and at last the moans and gasps were being punctuated by English obscenities that were sometimes mumbled, other times shouted out. His hands stayed mostly on his penis, but at times one hand would come loose to tease his nipples or delicately draw one fingernail over his stomach or up his sides, causing him to shiver and leaving goosebumps in its wake.

He was vigorous and vocal in his self-love, writhing, moaning, panting and talking, no inhibitions whatsoever holding him back. L didn't care at all about making a fool of himself. It was just like the way he dressed, which Rem knew wasn't normal for a man of his status. L simply did whatever he wanted to do. His face was intense, unguarded, showing pure lust and pleasure. It wasn't that perfect face yet, but it was on its way, and it was already far more exciting than any happy face produced by video games. Rem watched it closely, the pinkish tones starting to gather at the high points of the cheeks, the passion swimming in the depths of the eyes, the roving tongue that seemed unable to keep still even when it wasn't spouting dirty words. Every so often L threw his head far, far back, and Rem's gaze was drawn to his strangely-shaped Adam's apple protruding at that weird angle. That, along with the dark bags under his eyes and many other things, were unattractive by human standards, but to Rem all of L was fascinating viewing material.

Then L let go of himself, leaned back all the way, and said, "Please do it to me now."

Rem phased through the bed, coming up underneath the electric blanket, cradling L's entire body protectively from underneath him and behind him with her much larger body. He would not get any inadvertent chills. She made sure everything was positioned so that she could look down and get a good view of his face. Even though L wasn't stimulating himself at the moment, his face was still very intense, almost shining with anticipation. He was still panting very hard, and the need between his legs was stiff and swollen, straining upwards. Rem fingered L's nipples with her ice-cold hands, and she was rewarded by flashes of pleasure on L's face as he gasped sharply. Then Rem shifted position slightly as she was about to phase one hand inside him. Sensing what was coming, L whispered, "Gentle... gentle..."

Rem reached through L's body with her incorporeal hand, feeling for the right spot. There it was, already engorged and swollen. Rem placed her fingertips so they were just barely brushing it and, trying to be extremely gentle, solidified just the fingertips and pressed them against the organ ever so lightly.

Even though L was expecting it and Rem was probably touching his prostate even more gently than before, Rem still saw a strong shock of arousal go through his face and entire body in the moment contact was established. His eyes clenched shut and his fists knotted hard in the sheets to either side of him as he drew in a huge, hissing gasp and arched most of his body upward. Then his body slowly sank back down.

He took a few deep, even breaths, as if trying to gain some control, then resumed stroking his penis. At the touch of his own hand he moaned far more loudly than before, the moans slightly deeper and huskier as well. He wasn't even stroking that firmly, but seemed hypersensitive. Something in his voice sounded almost like suffering, a deep need begging for release. It was a sweet, sweet sound. His hand movements were jerky and uncoordinated, but with each slide up or down, intense arousal flashed across his face. After a minute, his hands both fell to his slides, clenching in the sheets once more.

In a thick, slurred voice, choked with lust, L said, "Rem... can you... take over... please."

Rem took one of the heat packs in her hand, crushed it until she felt it exuding hot, flushing warmth, and then put some lubrication on the slippery side. Knowing what would likely happen soon, Rem took some time to wrap her legs firmly around L's legs in such a way as to pin them down, being careful to make sure the electric blanket still fully shielded L's legs. Then, using the heat pack to protect L from her chilly hand, she wrapped it around L's penis, enclosing his throbbing length fully in that intensely warm object, her hand in turn enclosing the heat pack. L gasped at the touch of the well-lubed pack and shivered, leaning backwards hard into Rem. Then Rem started moving the heat pack up and down along L's hard shaft, being careful not to squeeze very hard with her hand or go very fast. After all, L had said he'd wanted the experience to last.

In no time, L was bucking, jerking and twitching once more. He was struggling in her grasp, not trying to get away, just thrashing mindlessly. Rem remembered the first time, when he had jerked about quite vigorously before she had even touched him. This was just L's sexual style. He dropped his inhibitions and let his instincts take over, his body moving in whatever way his impulses led him.

With the soft, intensely warm blanket between them and L's mass of wild black hair constantly rubbing against her neck due to the tossing of his head, Rem felt like she was trying to pin down a big, fluffy kitten. What was it with all the feline imagery lately? Rem realized it then. She no longer thought of L as precisely human. At some point, she had placed him in a category all his own, as if he were different enough from the other humans that he shouldn't ever be judged alongside them.

Everything about him was different. His movements, his posture, the things he would say, the way his mind leaped ahead of everyone else's or became endlessly involved in the small bits of food in front of him. The way he didn't seem to have any regard for most of the things humans considered important, he didn't arrange his life according to the usual goals and requirements. He was detached and somewhat indifferent, yet at the same time he wasn't cold and emotionless like most shinigami, he had feelings and passion, often expressed with an unabashed, child-like intensity. L was not like other humans just as Rem was not like other shinigami. Each of them had an incredible gulf between themselves and the rest of their species.

L's face was getting very close. It was deeply flushed now, with a lot of color in it. Little strands of wet hair stuck to L's forehead, and his fluttering eyelashes were damp too, seeming darker and thicker. The expression on the face was focused, concentrated pleasure, with almost no thoughts in the eyes at all. Every gasping, moaning movement of his lips seemed especially pretty, part of some perfectly choreographed dance together with every other part of his face.

Then L mumbled, "Nnnnnngh... coming," and Rem took that as the signal to press just slightly more on the prostate and speed up her hand strokes.

The response was instant. All at once, L shook and bucked insanely in Rem's grasp, his facial expression a white-hot intensity of passion, his penis spurting and twitching, while a deep scream escaped his lips.

It was a very satisfied scream. It sounded like nothing other than a screaming orgasm, the grateful unburdening of pent-up tension all at once. The scream was followed by an exhausted limpness, limbs like rubber, shaken by little tremors that gradually subsided. Rem was learning to appreciate the sounds as well as the faces. Misa had never made much in the way of sounds, she was always so quiet and reserved, so Rem had gotten used to looking to Misa's face to see the pleasure. But L was different; he shamelessly broadcast his pleasure with both his face and voice. And some of L's vocalizations were extremely nice to hear.

L was still vocalizing his pleasure, even in his limp, half-sleepy, post-orgasmic state. Little satisfied whimpers and mewling noises came from his lips as he snuggled backwards into the warm electric blanket covering Rem, like a kitten that had just been sated with a big meal and was now trying to find the right position to rest against its much larger mother. L's face was just perfect. Instead of the aroused pleasure that had saturated it during the act, it now exuded a very calm kind of pleasure, a satisfied bliss with no needs or concerns. Rem mindlessly reached down and patted L's shoulder. He yipped at the ice-cold touch and jumped back slightly. His face was still blissful, but the spell of the moment had been broken. Now, L's face was beginning to look more businesslike again. Rem felt as if she wouldn't be able to cuddle him any more without it being awkward, so she phased backwards through the bed and stood off to the side.

L gave a sleepy, satisfied stretch, and then in one sweeping movement he pushed the electric blanket, bottle of lube and heat packs off the bed onto the floor. He crawled, almost as if crawling was an effort, until he reached the very center of the bed, where he pulled his knees tightly to his chest, rolled over so his back was on top, his nose pressed against the mattress below him, and made a few sleepy mumbles.

Then, in a surprised voice, he said, "I think I'm actually going to go to sleep."

His breathing became slower and even over several minutes. Then he said, "Rem, tomorrow night I want to try an interesting experiment."

Rem didn't hear anything else from him the rest of the night, nor did he stir from that position until the rays of the morning sun came streaming in the windows.

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

They're starting to get to know one another, and there's a very small connection between them. Mostly, though, L sees Rem as a useful thing to create mind-blowing orgasms and as something to study to help unravel the mystery of Kira.

I made L's backstory basically compatible with the one in "Death Note: Another Note: The Los Angeles BB Murder Cases" but made it purposely vague (especially as that is how L would tell it, especially to someone suspicious who might be an enemy) and added a few inventions of my own.

I feel that L probably needs a reason stemming back to his childhood for his emotional detachment, and here I've provided a possible reason: a very traumatic experience of watching his parents slowly die when he was five years old.


	7. Failure

CHAPTER 7: FAILURE

Rem was in a glum mood. Matsuda was entirely unsuccessful in trying to draw her away to play with him, so at last he gave up and began helping the other investigators in his own half-competent way, at last relegated mostly to errands such as making coffee. Today was not a day for games. Such pursuits reminded Rem too much of the shinigami realm. It was okay to play games when she was in a good mood, but if she was already upset, the thought of them only made it worse. Everything was wrong today. Waiting for Misa was torture. Rem just wanted to get it over with. She'd really expected that Misa would have visited yesterday, and the thought that Misa might go another whole day without a visit was mortifying. Rem was running out of time. L was a smart bastard, and he might try something at any moment.

Rem ended up spending most of her time either flying in circles around the outside of the building, sitting on the edge of the roof looking down, or moving about inside the building as secretly as she could, staying almost entirely inside the walls, occasionally pushing just an eye through to watch the investigators. Rem never stayed inside for long, afraid of missing Misa. After some time, Rem realized that L had caught on to her eye trick. Every time she tried to secretly watch in the main investigation room, L noticed within a minute or two and turned to look directly at her. Nobody else noticed. How did he do it? Did he look at the reflection in his computer monitor? Rem found that the only way she could thwart L was if she stuck her eye through the wall directly behind his computer or through the floor right under his chair.

Finally, in the late afternoon, Rem was sitting on the edge of the roof when she saw a taxi arrive and eject Misa. A moment later, Ryuk phased through the taxi's roof and followed. Carefully keeping in mind the positions of the outdoor cameras, Rem plunged downward, wings beating dramatically, more to catch Misa's attention than to slow her descent, since she couldn't be hurt by a fall. She landed on the pavement in the biggest blind spot there was, a place Misa would have to walk past to get to the entrance. Misa approached with a kind of deliberate obliviousness.

Rem said, "Misa, this is a blind spot for the outdoor video cameras, and it is free of microphones. We need to talk."

Misa's demeanor suddenly changed. She had obviously been pretending to not see Rem before. She came close, Ryuk following, and looked at Rem carefully, as if seeing an old friend after a long absence. Rem felt her emotions warming. But, no, there was limited time. Also, it would be best if Light wasn't told Rem's plan.

Rem said, "Misa, the other video cameras certainly saw you entering this blind spot, and if you stay here lingering when you are eager to meet Light it might seem odd. Go to him, but meet me here on the way back for a short visit. Promise me you will."

Misa said, "I promise," and immediately ran along the sidewalk toward the first floor entrance, disappearing around a corner of the building.

Ryuk stayed behind. He said, "I really wish we could switch humans. Light is more my style. This girl isn't stingy with the apples, but I'm really getting tired of the things she says. Plus, she goes to these annoying places where she spends half her time getting dressed and the other half being photographed. I swear Light's boring cram school was better; at least there I didn't have to hide my eyes from my human's nudity. Yuck!"

Rem said, "I prefer Misa. Once L is dead, we should get them to switch death notes again."

"So," Ryuk asked, "how is that plan going?"

Rem said, "I will tell you because I'm completely sure you'll keep it to yourself. Light has a plan and I have an opposing plan, so nothing is getting done."

Ryuk's eyes lit up, and he bellowed, "Ho, ho, ho!"

Then he said, "Wait! What is Light's plan? Misa hasn't been doing anything other than killing criminals and it's not like Light to wait for your permission before acting."

Rem sighed. "Light plans for me to kill myself."

"Oh, ho," Ryuk said, "this is just getting better and better. First, Misa forgets L's name and now Light doesn't even know you're a bit reluctant to die for him? I'll just keep my mouth shut and see how all this plays out. Light is always so sure things are going exactly as planned."

Then Ryuk launched himself into the air and glided toward the first-floor entrance, shortcutting right through the protruding building edge. Rem found herself smiling at the thought of Ryuk possibly going right by the investigators without them noticing at all. If Ryuk wanted to, he could even mess with the people inside the building for his own amusement, but Rem knew he wouldn't. Ryuk knew that if he left L any clues, the delicious game could end too soon.

Rem waited patiently. She couldn't afford to go back into the building now as camouflage for her real purpose. Rem had to be waiting right in the blind spot the instant Misa was done with Light, to make full use of every second. If this was pulled off just right, there was no way even L would have any suspicions.

It didn't take Light long to visit with Misa. He wasn't really interested in anything other than leading her along. He'd do the minimum amount of work needed to keep her compliant, but not necessarily happy. Misa approached slowly, obviously calculating that her plan to linger in the blind spot would be less apparent that way.

As Misa and Ryuk crossed the boundary into the area, Rem said, "I want you to buy a very tiny camera, the kind that are smaller than a human fingernail, and conceal it in the gravel right next to the sidewalk here. I will get it past security by flying it to the roof and taking it through air vents inside, then I'll obtain photos and get it back to you by putting it in the same place. Kill everyone in those photos."

Misa looked at Rem, a puzzled frown on her face.

"No, no," Misa said, "if this was important, Light would have Misa doing it. Why are you going behind his back?"

"Then I have no choice but to tell you. Light intends for me to kill myself in order to kill the investigators he doesn't have the names of. However, my plan is easier than his plan and then I will be able to use my life to protect you in the future."

"But," Misa said, "Light always has the best plan. Why would you want Misa to disobey him?"

"Misa, Light wants the investigators killed, and this is a way of helping him. Remember how I didn't want to throw away my life to save you from Higuchi? If I'd done that then, I wouldn't be here to help you now. I don't want to use up my life now when I could hold it in reserve to protect you later."

Misa took two steps back and got an ugly look on her face. "I know what you're talking about, Rem. You just want to stay alive so you can keep threatening Light. You'll threaten him his entire life. You'll never let him act fully on his own. You're hampering his work as Kira."

Rem sighed. Why was everything always so difficult with Misa?

"Misa," Rem said, "Light would have killed you several times over if I hadn't been threatening him. And, other than keeping you alive, I don't think I've affected his behavior very much."

Misa's face became livid and she hissed, "Light would never kill me. He loves me, and all you do is get in the way. You should just... go away. Go away, Rem. If you really love me, you'll let me be happy with him, alone, without you. You can make me happy, Rem. You can do this."

Then Misa was turning away, going.

Rem shouted, "Misa! Will you bring the camera? Please?"

Misa turned back, and said a single word that broke Rem's heart. "No."

Then Misa was running to her waiting taxi and climbing in. Ryuk flew past and said, "Tough luck, Rem. Well, I guess shinigami shouldn't have feelings anyway. It's nothing but trouble."

Rem continued to stand in the same place, awash in disbelief. Misa had just sentenced her to death, and why? Because Rem had insulted Light? Because Misa was just that insanely committed to obeying Light in everything except his orders to stay away when approaching him would be dangerous? Or, perhaps it was Misa's self-destructive nature arising once again. Misa seemed to be completely allergic to common sense, so much that it couldn't be stupidity. It could only be mental illness.

Yes, this wasn't really Misa's fault. It was her mind again, her broken psyche. Rem wanted to whip out her death note and write Misa's name just to be done with this foolishness, but she also felt terribly guilty for having a fantasy like that. To abandon Misa, when her lifespan was already so short, and her actions were the result of a sickness inside her instead of her own will, that would be cruel and heartless, especially if it was done in hopes of spending more time with humans who actually had a capacity for happiness...

Wait, where had that thought come from? Yes, it was them. L and Matsuda. Especially L. Rem had been so starved for attention, for humans who could actually relax and laugh and smile... the past few days had been almost addictive. Rem had needed to see happy, mentally healthy humans so badly after being stuck with Misa's drowning despair and Light's uncaring manipulation and Higuchi's single-minded sleazy greed. But that thought, that little fantasy, it was wrong. To abandon the injured in favor of the healthy... after you'd promised to care for the injured forever... it would be a terrible betrayal. Misa deserved better after all she had suffered. It sounded like L had already lived through many years of happiness. He could even be fairly satisfied when he thought his last days were upon him. He didn't need to be given more years at the cost of Misa's life. Besides, it would mean Jealous's sacrifice would be meaningless. Rem needed to save Misa to know that Jealous's death had not been wasted.

Rem's mind raced. What could be done now that Misa refused to help? No matter how Rem thought about it, she couldn't conceive of a single plan to kill L that didn't involve either a smuggled camera or her own suicide. And, it wasn't like Rem could go get a miniature camera on her own. The tether trapped her within a short radius of the investigation building, and all surrounding buildings were offices or residences, not stores, certainly not camera stores.

Then, if Light's plan was the only option, it would be best to do it as soon as possible, before L made any unfavorable moves. Rem considered. Where should she choose to stand while writing the names? Light might have a good course of action planned out for what he should do if it was obvious the shinigami had killed L and Watari, but if the deaths were a mystery, Light would have more options. It would be best to avoid getting caught on camera. But, every single room in the investigation center had multiple cameras, supposedly with no blind spots.

There was also the question of what would happen to Rem's death note. It would fall to the floor wherever she died. Rem felt sick and angry at the thought of Light using it, but then if Light had another death note, it might help Misa because it could increase the number of schemes he could put into action. However, if video cameras caught her death note falling and then Light retrieving it, he'd get caught.

So in the end, if she died anywhere in the building, the investigators would probably get her death note instead of Light, and if one of them touched it first and inadvertently became the new owner, that person would feel the compulsion curse and be forced to kill once to try out the death note. That could create complications for Light, not to mention the person who did it. Rem felt a small stab of sympathy as she imagined Matsuda being the first to find her death note, his bewilderment at his curiosity tempting him into an actual murder, his quick capture, and the condemnation the others would show him. Rem had never heard of a human who could resist that first-kill compulsion. It just got stronger and stronger until eventually they killed.

But, if Rem was to die off-camera, there were only two ways to do it. One, she could go into adjacent buildings, which would put a death note into the hands of some unknown person. Two, she could hide within the walls or inside large machinery in the investigation building. Another death note user with an unpredictable agenda might create problems for Kira down the line. But, if it were hidden inside the investigation center, Light would know to seek out the death note, and could probably find it before anyone else did.

Rem turned and walked into the building through the wall. She made her way to the main room, subtly caught Light's gaze, and then slowly backed into a wall, flattening herself inside so she was neatly concealed, pipes and wires jutting up against her. Now, take out the death note, open it, raise the pen. It was time to kill Watari and L. Rem almost wished she could be standing over Watari when he died. It would be satisfying after the way he had tormented Misa. But, no, Rem needed to stay inside the wall.

Rem hesitated. Which one to kill first, just in case the second one didn't go through? L was the most important obstacle to Kira, but L was probably smart enough to have something set up with Watari to cause trouble for Light if L died and Watari survived. If Watari died but L didn't, then it should throw the investigation into enough confusion that Light might have another chance to kill L. No, Rem had to believe she could kill both of them. Rem hesitated once more. She wanted to pause and savor the good things before she died. Rem tried to picture Misa's happy face in her mind.

The only thing that was coming was a memory of seeing Misa before her parents had died. Misa was perhaps seventeen years old, but she looked thirteen. She was swinging on a swing set in a park on a warm autumn day, as the first few leaves were just beginning to fall, and eating an ice cream cone that seemed entirely too big for her to finish before it melted. She looked like the happiest girl in the world. Then, one of Misa's younger cousins threw a handful of sand at her face, getting it all over the ice cream. Misa only looked dismayed for a second. She jumped out of the swing, wrestled her cousin to the ground in the sandbox, and smeared her sandy ice cream cone all over his face, grinning happily. He grinned back, scooped handfuls of the glop from his face, and flung them at Misa. A few moments later, both of them were completely coated in sandy ice cream, wrestling and laughing. Misa's mother came and bent over them, saying, "Misa! He's five years younger than you. I thought you'd be more mature."

But Misa's mother wasn't angry. Instead, all three of them laughed together. Misa used to have a kind of carefree optimism. She didn't used to cry or let things bother her. Before her parents' deaths, she defended herself so confidently. Now, it was the opposite. She simply refused to defend herself. Rem pressed the pen to the paper, but her hand felt paralyzed. Would Misa ever defend herself from Light? No, no she wouldn't. Without anyone else to defend her, Misa's happiness, her very life and death, would rest only on Kira's whims. Rem would have to trust Light. Shaking, Rem lowered the pen. There had to be another way. There had to. Perhaps she could steal something from pedestrians walking near the building, or from the adjacent buildings within reach of the tether. It was worth a try. Surely, L wouldn't do anything in the next few hours.

Rem flew through several walls, out into the street, and into an apartment building. Three hours later, Rem had accumulated a small pile of cellphones on a nearby roof. It had been extremely easy to steal them. She went through them, sorting them into ones that had a built-in camera and those that didn't. The phones were small, but not as small as Rem wanted. Rem selected one that was razor-thin, nearly the same color as her hand and didn't make any flash or noise when photographing. She flew this phone to the roof of the investigation building. Then, carefully taking note of the placement of the roof video cameras, she tried to unsuspiciously examine all the air ducts on the roof.

No, no, it was no good. L must have been extremely paranoid when he was constructing this building, because every air duct had a cover with tiny holes. They were probably small enough for Rem to push through the kind of mini spy camera she'd wanted Misa to buy, but the cellphone was just too big. If she tried to break the covers and pull them off, the actions would certainly be caught on the rooftop cameras and it would look like she was trying to sneak something past security. Would she have to kill herself? No, it wasn't time to give up yet. L came to the roof every so often for fresh air. Rem would just need to watch and wait. She found a place to hide the cellphone on the roof, putting it there and being careful to turn it off so it wouldn't ring, and then flew inside, searching. From now on, she would need to keep track of L even better.

She would have to let Light deal with Watari by himself, but he could probably do that. If she got L's name to Misa by showing Misa the cellphone photo, and made clear how dire the situation was, Misa would be forced to act. Even if Misa wanted to continue being stubborn, she couldn't keep her mouth shut and would be sure to blab to Light that she knew L's name, and then he'd tell Misa to use it the moment he started wondering whether Rem was resisting his suicide plan. He couldn't afford to wait until his refusal to leave the building started seeming extremely odd. Light wasn't the only one who could turn up the pressure. If Light was going to press on Rem, she would push right back.

* * *

**A/N (Author's Notes):**

I really wish Rem had at least tried to scheme against Light in canon instead of committing suicide without any protest. Things still might have ended with Rem killing L and dying, but at the very least it would have been interesting to see L and Light continuing to match wits with each other for a little longer after Higuchi's death. The part of the manga/anime from Higuchi's death to L's death was entirely too short, and seemed as if the canon author was rushing to finish that part of the story.

I don't think she would have succeeded in winning against Light without exposing Misa, but it would have been more realistic for her to at least try a little. She could have, for example, tried a scheme of forcing Light to give up ownership without letting on to the other investigators, and then disappearing with the death note. That would have stopped the 13-day rule from being tested as well. There were also plenty of other things she could have tried. She's a god of death, after all.

Like all the other female characters, Rem was underutilized, cast aside by the author when not needed, and tended to have variable characterization with sometimes-unrealistic motivations.


	8. Sexual Experiments

CHAPTER 8: SEXUAL EXPERIMENTS

When Rem got back from her ordeal with the stolen cellphones, L wasn't in the main room with the other investigators. Why wasn't Light keeping track of him better? Well, she supposed it would look suspicious if Light tried to follow L everywhere. Rem phased through a few walls, looking. There weren't that many rooms and hallways in the building that were actually used, so it was easy to run through the possibilities. There, a glimpse of L boarding a special elevator that only went to one place: Watari's room, the control center for the entire building.

Possibly, if she was careful, she might be able to learn something secret. Rem took a route to Watari's room that was almost entirely inside walls and ceilings. Then she carefully positioned herself far underneath Watari's desk, with just enough of her head sticking into the room to see and hear. She looked to the door. Yes, when L came in, the desk should entirely block his face from Rem, so he wouldn't be able to see her directly, and it did not look as if it would be possible to see her indirectly by using the reflection of any of the many monitors.

Just in time. As L entered, looking slouched worse than ever from the part of him Rem could see, and loosely holding the death note in two fingers of one hand, Watari turned his chair to face L.

Watari said, "What's wrong, Ryuzaki?"

L said, "Nothing I've thought of is making much sense, and if it does make sense, then we are in a great deal of trouble. Kira should not have appeared again at just this time unless there is something extremely important I've overlooked or unless our deaths will come very soon."

Watari asked, "Then you can't find a way to arrest both suspects before they harm us?"

"The problem," L said, "is that, except for Higuchi, this entire case has always been nothing but a long string of highly suspicious coincidences. I can be almost sure of the identities of the first Kira and second Kira, but I can't prove it to anyone, not even myself. Even if I did arrest them, I'd just have to let them go again after a time and from then on I'd have no credibility."

The old man nodded. "You are tormented by your doubts then?"

"Yes," L said, "the situation is extremely complicated, we don't have much time, and our information is limited. I still don't understand the role the shinigami plays, whether as a passive observer or an accomplice or something in between, nor why. Also, there are unknown rules. For example, Higuchi was unable to set a time of death for more than 23 days in the future, but that rule wasn't written in the notebook, we figured it out from the data. There must be more rules, perhaps even hundreds of them."

Watari sighed. "Just like our legal system with its loopholes and exceptions, it could be that one of those rules allows a way out of the 13-day rule."

"Exactly," L said, "for example, if the 13-day rule doesn't apply during the time you've lost your memory of using the notebook, then everything we've seen makes a lot more sense. Also, that rule, and any of the others, could be fake. Who wrote them down? A shinigami? Was that creature entirely truthful? We have no idea."

Watari asked, "Is Rem dangerous?"

"Rem is evasive at best, but she is probably a liar. If she is lying for Kira, she might do other things for Kira as well. She knows the names of everyone here, and claims she can't tell these names to humans, but if she's lying about that and is also on Kira's side we're in deep trouble. She also says that she is unable to kill or seriously injure humans unless she uses her other notebook to do it. In any case, she could possibly kill all of us at any time."

Watari said, "So, if we're in that much trouble, then you can't use me as your back-up plan any more. The shinigami knows my name, so I might not be alive to act against Kira after your death. Are you still certain you don't want to send our data to another anti-Kira team so they can act in case of your death?"

"Yes," L said, "ever since the second Kira's video that mentioned the possibility of Kira sharing power with other people, there has been entirely too much interest in this idea. Organized crime, terrorist groups, and even unsavory factions within perfectly democratic governments would love to get their hands on such a power. If it ever leaked out that "sharing power" wasn't just a lie, and Kira used a weapon that could be easily transferred to another person, the unsavory interest would increase a thousand fold."

L shook the death note lightly, and said, "This thing is worse than a nuclear weapon. With it, any ideology could be forced on the world. Governments could be toppled overnight by killing everyone in them, right down to the mayors of small towns. The world economic system could be broken, destabilizing civilization itself."

Watari sighed, "I know you are right, Ryuzaki, but I wish we could create some other group that had all your data and deductions. If Kira was told of their existence and you set it up so that you couldn't be controlled into betraying their identities, it would protect you from Kira as well as the shinigami. If it was known that if we were killed then the other group would simply take over our work at the same point we stopped it, our lives would be safe."

"No," L said, "that's an old trick, and one that only works if Kira doesn't get too desperate. If Light Yagami is Kira, then I think he was planning on killing me shortly before Misa was arrested, despite that it would have led to his immediate arrest. No, the only back-up plan I have in case of my death is that my successors will realize I'm dead."

Successors! Rem listened carefully. L was about to give her information about what would likely happen after his death. This would help her evaluate how safe L's death would actually make Misa.

L said, "If Light is Kira, and I'm almost completely certain he is, then as long as I don't leak information about him to others, he is smart enough to stay hidden from everyone except for detectives of my caliber. My successors idolize me and my ideals, and they would surely become aware of all the unsavory groups interested in exploiting Kira's power. Then they would find a way to chase Kira without risking the creation of some much worse Kira. However, if I gave my successors any real clues other than just the fact of my death, they would zero in on Light and confront him immediately."

"And," Watari said, "Light is too wary to be caught right away. Is that it?"

"Yes. Light tends to be overconfident and a bit sloppy. But, as he's matched wits with me, he's learned to anticipate my thinking process and be much more careful. He often knows what I'm thinking almost before I do, and it would be very difficult for me to trap him now. He is even goading me into pursuit of this new Kira, which must mean it's in his interests for me to do so. But, if he thinks I'm gone and nobody else has any meaningful clues, then, especially if it takes my successors a few years to catch up to him, he will get sloppy and leave clues. He'll respect them less than me, so he'll probably underestimate them too."

Watari said, "So, if Light is Kira, and he ends up killing you, then you are actually setting things up to protect him so that people much worse than him don't get his power?"

L said, "Yes. Among the people who would want to use Kira's power for more than a handful of murders, Kira probably has the highest morals of any of them. I think it is likely that for the next ten years or so he won't become insane enough to consider killing anyone other than criminals and those who get in his way. During that time, my successors will probably catch him."

"Ryuzaki," Watari said, "I think you're putting a lot of confidence in your successors and this rather complex plan. Are you absolutely sure you can't come up with anything better? If you are certain Light is Kira, then I know you're smart enough to find a way to write down his name in the notebook and make him confess everything without the other investigators realizing what you've done."

L said, "There are many problems with that. At the very least, the notebook has unknown effects. It can somehow eat into your memories, and we do not understand why or how that happens, though apparently the notebook user can lose memories at will. There is also a possibility, however slight, that the notebook user becomes possessed and is forced to be a mass-murderer. Light fits the personality profile of Kira so well that I think there is a very low probability that he was forced into it. Still, if I did become a serial killer, I think I would be one of the most dangerous ones in history. I do not want to risk that."

"Ryuzaki," Watari asked, "is it at least partly because you consider Light your friend?"

There was a pause, then a sigh. L said, "There is still a small chance that Light isn't Kira, and if I killed him and then evidence came out that he wasn't Kira, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Also, I won't write down a falsified confession, but if I write down that he confesses to every crime that he remembers, and then he doesn't have his memories at that time or erases them as soon as he feels the slightest compulsion to confess, we'll never get the truth. Additionally, it is likely we need him alive until we catch this new Kira. If he dies within 23 days and we still haven't caught the new Kira, it might become very difficult to do so. I'm sure the new Kira was set up by Light somehow, either by a plan he set up to activate automatically after Higuchi was caught, or by getting Misa to give someone a notebook, or possibly by using a shinigami."

Watari asked, "What do you think of this new Kira?"

L lifted one bare foot and used it to scratch the other. "I cannot shake the feeling it is Misa, though I don't see how that would make any sense, especially since Light wants me to pursue this Kira. Even though the new killings fit with Misa's level of research skills and with her schedule, it would be too suicidal. If Misa is not the new Kira but is instead the one who set up this new Kira, then Light probably told her to do it when he whispered in her ear the day she was released. However, if we apprehend Misa, she'll just deny it, or even erase her memory of it. I still don't understand how Light set up Higuchi with a notebook, but if he is able to use a shinigami to create new Kiras, then it could be very hard to catch him. We could end up apprehending an endless string of proxy Kiras without ever getting closer to evidence that Light is the principle Kira."

"So then," Watari said, "this is your justification for asking to install a mechanism to erase all our data?"

"Yes," L said, "how long will it take?"

"About a day. After that, at all times I will have a button near me to trigger the erasure."

"And the computers will lock everyone out until the process has completed?"

Watari answered, "Yes. Not even a skilled hacker such as Light would be able to prevent it once it has started."

In a very quiet voice, L said, "Then, if we all die, nobody will have the chance to get our data and begin to hunt Kira in order to become a much worse version of him. If I fail, I will have acted to protect Kira until those I trust have a chance to capture him."

Watari cleared his throat, and then said, "Ryuzaki, I am sorry if I seemed to criticize your plan too much. I know your intelligence, and I've seen you pull off many plans that I did not understand the brilliance of until after they had worked. I know you are trying to protect our lives as best you can. I've valued our time together."

Rem saw L leaning closer to Watari, and awkwardly patting the old man's hand.

L said, "Then, in a day, when you have finished the self-destruct mechanism, it will be time to provoke Kira with an action he will feel compelled to counter. If Light Yagami is not Kira, then we will be perfectly safe. But, if he is Kira, he'll take an action that could leave evidence and I'll have a chance to catch him. I don't think it is likely the shinigami will kill us, since she should have killed us before now if she were inclined to. However, it is possible that she is somehow part of his plan even if she won't kill for him."

Rem saw L walking away then, going out the door. She tried to make sense of all she'd heard. L was... actually helping Kira... in a way? It sounded as if L could have set up a devastating trap for Kira if he died, but that it would have involved trusting people he didn't trust with the world's most dangerous weapon, so he opted out of it. Light was extremely lucky L had thought this way. If L couldn't catch Kira, then nobody else was allowed to, except L's successors. It seemed kind of childish, though L was right. It was possible for someone with a death note to inflict much more harm on the world than Light or even Higuchi ever could.

There was the issue of those successors too. L seemed to have a lot of confidence that they would catch Kira after a few years. If L was wrong, or if they didn't catch Light until Misa's lifespan had run out, Misa would be safe. But, this was yet another reason for Rem to preserve her life for possible use at a future date. Rem was particularly glad to hear that there was apparently no chance that L would kill Light or Misa with the death note himself. Still, it would be best to keep watch over him constantly, especially for signs of the new plan he hoped to implement and for any move to go to the roof.

Rem hovered around L for the remainder of the day. He spent very little time on the computers, instead spending most of his time sitting at the table underneath the stairs, looking deep in thought. His eyes were especially wide and staring and his form hunched over more than usual, leaning forward so that his dark hair fell in front of his face. His eyes were like black mirrors, swirling with thoughts and calculations. He furiously arranged and rearranged the various foodstuffs in front of him, occasionally eating some. More snacks were delivered periodically. L seemed rather passive, and was so lost in thought that the few times others came up to speak to him, they often had to repeat themselves. Somehow, he looked especially tiny and child-like. L probably weighed only a bit more than a hundred pounds. His size and his hunched posture really reminded Rem of Jealous.

He stayed there for many hours, long after the other investigators had gone home and Light and Matsuda had gone to bed. L had a small stack of biscuits and cookies carefully balanced in front of him. One biscuit, one cookie, one biscuit, one cookie. Every so often he would remove one item from the middle of the stack very delicately, without tipping the stack, eat it, and then rummage in the open containers by his side for a replacement item. At one point, he reached out for the stack, stopped, looked around, blinked, and then lightly leapt from his seat to the floor. Walking toward the elevator without looking behind him, he said, "Come on, Rem. Let's go upstairs."

When they got to L's rooms, L went directly to the bedroom and stretched out on the bed. He was looking at her almost suggestively. Rem found the idea ludicrous. Why would a human hit on a shinigami? She wasn't even doing these things for the same reasons a human would, and she wasn't there to see a facial expression that represented L's awkward attempt to be lewd, she was waiting for what would come later, the panting, moaning face, broadcasting pure pleasure. Even so, she drifted a bit closer to the bed and said, "I thought it was customary to do these things without clothing."

L replied, "Tonight I want to try something different. The very first time you reached inside me, it was extremely intense, and I think I would have had an orgasm instantly if I hadn't already been concentrating on delaying it. I would like you to reach inside and touch me at that strength or very slightly harder. Be careful not to hurt me. My goal in this experiment is to have an instant orgasm, but not just one. Each time I tell you, you should do it again. I would like to explore the limits of this, to see how far your body can push mine."

L leaned back all the way onto the bed, shuffling around a bit, trying to get comfortable. He stretched his legs out to their full length and idly scratched one bare foot with another. As he adjusted his position, his face was already glowing with the first hints of anticipation and his baggy jeans were tented a bit in the crotch. L was getting excited at the thought of a sexual session that would be nothing but a long string of orgasms. The great detective was about to conduct an experiment.

Then L said, "You know how I am. You might have to hold me down. My clothing should shield me well enough from your coldness. If I'm constantly having orgasms, I don't think I'll care about the bit of cold that gets through."

Rem got onto the bed and thought about how she should do this. L was surprisingly strong for his size, and his wiry, slender form was difficult to hold on to. She would need to pin him down very well. Rem straddled his knees and reached forward with one large hand, pressing down on L's chest. He started breathing faster. When Rem had finished adjusting her position, she made her other hand incorporeal and reached inside L, finding that gland even easier this time, cradling it so carefully before solidifying her finger tips, and then squeezing just slightly, so gently.

L let out a gasp, threw his head back, and pleasure came into his face in an incredible surge as rippling waves of muscle contractions moved through his body. Rem could feel L straining hard underneath her, trying to buck, but with his knees and chest held down so tightly, he wasn't able to do much more than rock a bit in her grasp. Still, his chest shoved up into her hand with considerable force a couple of times. Then the intensely orgasmic look gave way to a satisfied bliss, and his whole body felt wobbly, weak and unresisting. His hands lay limply on the sheets by his sides.

After panting for a few moments, L said, "Again."

Rem touched that sensitive inner place once more, squeezing and just barely massaging. Instantly, L let out a loud "Ah, ah" and then suddenly his face was orgasmic once again, with arousal, pleasure and release all at a fever pitch, his body trying to buck and arch in waves but ending up mostly locked in place by Rem's forcefulness. He kept wiggling what he could, his neck tossing from side to side and his arms squirming as his long, delicate fingers dug hard into the sheets, clenching and unclenching. A few more spasms, and then an intense calm came over him. During this break between orgasms, he panted a little bit longer, his eyes so very pleased, his lips looking fuller, slightly swollen.

The next time, L's face seemed to exceed the two previous times. He'd already been in bliss, and he was having an orgasm once again, right on the tail of the others. His body was hard to pin down as it tried to thrust and spasm upward in an arch, but the hand in the middle of his chest, so large as to span it entirely, seemed to be a good idea for keeping him reasonably in one place. Still, the force of L's movements during orgasm continued to surprised Rem, and his incredible limpness after each orgasm always put her off-guard for the next surge.

As the cycle continued, Rem was getting lost in L's face, its near-constant expression of being in orgasmic or post-orgasmic bliss, its movements, the way the intensely dark eyelashes fluttered, the completely unguarded expression in the eyes, like looking through two darkened windows straight into L's soul. He was not holding back or hiding his emotions in the slightest, it was all displayed perfectly for Rem to drink in. His forehead was sweaty, his black hair mussed almost beyond belief, sticking out in all directions. His damp cheeks were an incredible pink color. It was a glowing pink, like the intensity of pink seen on clouds just at sunset. His neck kept arching back, boldly displaying that strangely-shaped Adam's apple that Rem found so fascinating. Tremors ran through his body regularly, whether he was orgasming at the time or not, and his voice was getting deeper, husky, strained.

Furthermore, things seemed to be becoming more satisfying to L with each new repeat of the cycle. Yes, Rem could clearly see his pleasure was climbing in intensity, building on the previous results, orgasm on orgasm. Rem almost wondered if his face was going to break from the sheer strength of the emotions that flowed through it. His voice now became increasingly hoarse and slurred each time he asked Rem to do it again. His limbs, his whole body, was subtly trembling all the time now, never stopping except to give way to larger, more vigorous shudders.

At last, Rem saw a panting, limp stage that seemed to last much longer than before. Was L finally running out of stamina? Yes, as she continued to wait he didn't ask her to do anything, he just kept panting, trembling, and his face was just perfect, nothing else could be desired from it. Over the space of a few minutes, the trembling subsided to little intermittent shivers and the panting slowed to a more normal, gentle breathing.

Then L was laughing, a laugh that sounded kind of unhinged, insane. He said, "What was that? Ten orgasms? Twelve? I've lost my ability to count, Rem."

L's eyes were two shining, black pools, looking up at Rem, unblinking. L was radiating pleasure. He wiggled around a bit, absently, as if he didn't realize he was doing it. His limbs were languorous, incredibly limp and relaxed. He kept looking directly at Rem, so satisfied that he didn't think to do anything, anything at all, not even glance elsewhere. He didn't need to do a thing, because he'd just had all the orgasms he could handle. After long moments spent like that, suspended in time, L curled himself up and then slowly, sensuously uncurled in a cat-like stretch.

Next, he weakly pulled himself along the bed, letting out a stream of little contented huffs, almost a purr, until he was able to crawl up next to a pillow, flop partway onto his side, and draw his knees up next to his chest, tightly hugging his arms around his legs. He looked very young, not the twenty or so he usually seemed, but perhaps sixteen. His face was one of pure shining bliss, angelic and radiant. It hardly seemed human. Rem imagined that if his co-workers could see his face in that moment, they wouldn't recognize him. Rem stayed there, watching intently, drinking in the enjoyment. Little by little, L's breathing became very slow, and Rem assumed he had fallen asleep. The expression of intense bliss faded ever so gradually into a contentment that seemed more normal, more in the realm of the possible. Rem continued to look down at him, not missing a single moment. She found herself glad that shinigami don't blink. It really was too bad that L needed to die.

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

Well, Rem is starting to fall for L. It's pretty fast, but Rem is terribly lonely and she fell for Misa, after all, so it's probably not too hard for Rem to fall for a human.

I suppose that L would approach sex the same way he approaches everything: intelligently, and while thinking of ways to experiment.


	9. Bells and Falling

CHAPTER 9: BELLS AND FALLING

L was gone. How had this happened during the day? Rem looked around the investigation room. He obviously wasn't here. Why didn't Light watch L better? Rem glanced at Light, and saw that he was looking around a bit nervously too. That meant L hadn't just gone to the bathroom. He must have already been gone longer than that. He could be doing anything, putting in motion some sneaky plan. For that matter, judging from L's conversation with Watari, he was already quite capable of doing a lot of secret things without alerting Light or Rem. If he managed to get away for any substantial amount of time, he might be able to pull off something really big.

Rem took note of Light noticing her nervous glances around the room, and gave an almost imperceptible nod. Now Light knew Rem was about to look for L, so he wouldn't have to. Rem spread her wings and flung herself sideways through a wall, ready to do a quick search of every floor. Pretty soon, it was obvious L wasn't in the building. _Then, the roof? Could I be so lucky?_

Sure enough, L was standing on the roof, by himself, in the heaviest kind of pouring rain imaginable. He wasn't actually doing anything, just kind of staring. Rem flew to the place where she'd hidden her stolen cellphone, underneath a big air-conditioning unit, and slipped the thing inside her hand so quickly and carefully the cameras shouldn't catch it. Then she considered how to photograph L. He was standing right next to a big satellite dish. If Rem clung to the other side of that, and just barely sneaked the cellphone over the top edge, mostly hidden in her hand, she would have a good chance of photographing L. Rem flew over there and got into position. This was it, this was it. As long as L didn't notice what she was really doing, it would work.

Wait, no, this wasn't working. The problem was, in order to take a photograph of someone's face, they had to actually look toward the camera. L's current position, with his head drooping, looking at the ground beneath his feet, it wouldn't do at all. Checking once more to make sure the cellphone was properly positioned, with the lens lined up exactly to the crack between two of her fingers, Rem called out, "Ryuzaki, why are you out here?"

L continued to look at the ground. He said, "I am listening to the bells."

"What?"

L turned to look directly at Rem, then said, "Hardly anyone knows this about me, but I've heard faint bells ringing for many years, though the bells are so loud today I'm wondering if they're real, perhaps something off in the distance. I suppose most people would find any recurring sound like that to be terribly annoying, but I find them melodious and often soothing. Many times I forget the bells and kind of tune them out, just like people who live next to train tracks for years and stop hearing the trains. Today, though, the bells seem to stay at the forefront of my mind. I can't concentrate."

What was this? Probably some kind of inner ear problem, or perhaps a brain issue. If L could normally keep it under control, then he was losing his grip. Perhaps he was at last really admitting to himself that his death was probably approaching quite soon, not just as a kind of abstract knowledge, but as a cold, hard truth. L looked so lost, so defeated, like a wet puppy trapped out in the rain.

Wait, no, it wasn't time to be thinking about L, it was time to be acting. Rem pressed the button to take the photo, then slipped behind the satellite dish again. She brought up the photo on the screen. _Damn, he looked away at the last moment! _So little of the face showed that Rem couldn't see his name or lifespan floating above the photo, which meant Misa wouldn't be able to see it either.

Rem crept up to the edge of the satellite dish. She'd have to try again. Suddenly, she felt very unsure of herself. Once was luck, but could she really pull it off again? He was the world's greatest detective, after all. Remembering how easily L had figured out her eye-through-the-wall trick, how could she have any chance of blatantly taking his photo with a cellphone twice while he was looking directly at the camera lens? As Rem started to position the cellphone carefully within her huge, bony hand, she had a sick, sinking feeling within her. This plan... it was so crazy. And even if she pulled off the feat of photographing L face-on without him noticing, Misa might still refuse to cooperate. And, if L did notice, she'd probably have to kill him on the spot.

Everything was going so very wrong. Rem looked down at L's photo, still displayed on the tiny screen. She had no doubt about it then. If she killed L, directly or indirectly, she would feel very guilty afterwards. It was just another thing wrong with this whole scenario. And, the other plan, killing herself... she could no longer fool herself with the idea that Misa would be happy, or even safe, in Light's hands. Light was a cold-hearted manipulative killer. Light could easily get some other fanatical Kira supporter to take over the killings and trade for the eyes, someone the investigators had never once suspected, and dump Misa. It would probably be the safest plan for him, especially if he kept his own identity hidden from the new Kira.

Stupid, stupid plans. They were always crumbling, flawed. Perhaps it was the curse of misfortune said to follow any death note owner. If that were it, then Misa wouldn't get rid of her ill luck unless she gave up ownership again. Was the supernatural misfortune affecting Light too? He did well most of the time, though perhaps being Kira was the worst thing that could have happened to him, so his luck in not being stopped so far was really a curse in itself.

What to do, what to do? If the camera plan and the suicide plan both had so many problems, then what about the other problematic plans Rem had previously discarded? Perhaps there was a way to keep Light, Misa and L all alive at once, or to pin everything on Light without making Misa suicidally unhappy.

Rem could try to get her way by using threats, but she still couldn't imagine L going along with that, especially since he was quite willing to die and also smart enough to eventually figure out the threats were mostly bluff. Then, there was trying to make a deal with L, which would be incredibly dangerous, but wasn't looking quite as bad since the other plans had soured so much. Besides, there was one advantage with that plan. If L decided to cooperate, he could work out all the details with his high intelligence much better than Rem ever could.

Rem sighed. She hid the cellphone inside a metal box full of wires that was connected to the back of the satellite dish, then phased through the dish to stand next to L. He didn't look up. He was still studying the ground near his shoes. L looked incredibly sodden, as if it simply wasn't possible for him to be any wetter.

Rem said, "Ryuzaki, I think the rain here will drown out our words so the microphones won't pick up our conversation and nobody in headquarters will know what we've said here. I have been holding some things back, but I want to help you now. I'll need some help in return."

L's head snapped up. He looked wary, but there was a bit of hope in his eyes. He said, "What do you want for your side of the deal?"

Rem said, "I can't tell you yet, but when the time comes, I will find a way to let you know."

"Of course," L said, "if you tell me what you want now, and then I'm not cooperative, you'll have given away your position. Well, what can you tell me? Were you lying all those times you said you couldn't tell certain things to humans?"

"There are many things I cannot tell to humans," Rem said, "and this will make it difficult to communicate with you to make this deal. But, I can bend the rules just a bit, and I think you can figure out the rest."

Rem thought hard. She had to tell L just enough, but not too much, and without breaking any rules. First, she wanted to tell him Misa had only seven years to live. If he knew that, he'd be much more willing to let her go, but telling any human lifespan to another human was severely forbidden.

Rem said, "Remember the eye deal? I will tell you a bit more about that. It is something that humans only do if they are desperate or stupid. Those who make the deal do not have very long to live. Especially if they lose the power and end up making the deal twice."

L pondered that information, then he said, "How long would Higuchi have lived after we took him into custody? Or was it the deal that killed him?"

"I am forbidden to tell you the exact amount of time Higuchi had left. But, it was not the deal that killed him."

"Then," said L, "will you tell me the truth about Higuchi's death?"

"I am sure Kira killed him, but I do not know how. From my knowledge of the situation, I would have thought it impossible for Kira to kill him. But, gods of death can tell certain things just by looking. Higuchi was certainly killed by a death note."

"It was a scrap," L said, "but I haven't been able to find that scrap. Probably it has already been destroyed. Do you deny that scraps work?"

Rem stayed silent. This was getting dangerously close to giving away too much without getting anything in return. It was time to get something.

"Ryuzaki," Rem said, "there is a human custom that saving a life creates a large debt. If I save your life, will you owe me something big?"

L said, "It depends. There are favors that would be too big. Also, I would need to know you'd saved my life and not just spared it. If you were planning on killing me and then decided not to if I would join your side, that would be the same as a death threat, and I won't respond to it."

Rem said, "I want to save your life by indicating who Kira is. I cannot tell humans who the owner of a death note is unless you already know, as in Higuchi's case, and as long as you don't know the person's identity I cannot tell you much about the situation either. But I can bend the rules to finger Kira for you."

L sighed unhappily. "If merely knowing who Kira is would solve the case, I would have done so a long time ago. It is not enough to know. There has to be proof. Something that leaves no doubt."

Rem said, "So, indirectly indicating Kira's identity wouldn't be good enough if there was nothing else?"

"No," L said, "not unless actual evidence appeared as a result of that indication. For example, if you are Kira's accomplice and you want to confess but can't do it directly or tell me the full details, then you would need to show me where that evidence exists or give me the tools to find it myself. Otherwise, it might seem as if you are indicating a false culprit to protect the real Kira, especially since you've waited so long without any confession."

L scratched absently at the side of his neck. The small spark of hope in his face was fading. He said, "Rem, is there any clue you can lead me to, or any knowledge you can give me that will truly prove who Kira is?"

Rem thought. Misa was probably the only one with evidence on her, since Light didn't do anything except give occasional orders to Misa, and he did it just at times when he was absolutely sure he couldn't be overheard. Misa's full confession would be enough to convict Light, but Misa would never give it. Rem did not want the investigators to put Misa under surveillance. If the only Kira they caught with actual evidence was Misa, she would bear the brunt of the punishment. It would be very difficult to get her off with a mild punishment then. Rem needed to create a scenario where Light was caught but Misa wasn't, or where both Light and Misa were caught at the same time.

Rem said, "I can't think of any way to get those clues."

"As expected," he said, "Kira has already destroyed all evidence, and will doubtless erase his memories again if cornered. You lied about the memory trick before. Am I right?"

"You are correct."

"Then," L said, "as I already thought, the only way to catch Kira is to force him to do something that will create new evidence, and find that evidence before he destroys it."

That was indeed the ideal plan, the only way to catch Light. If enough of the old evidence was uncovered, such as Rem being tied to Light or the 13-day rule being fake, it would make Light the main suspect again, but it wouldn't prove anything. After all, Light had been the main suspect for a long time and he'd never been convicted. But, with Misa on the loose, L and Rem were both running out of time. According to Ryuk, Light wasn't yet doing anything other than waiting for Rem to kill herself, but if enough time went by, Light would either firmly point the investigation at Misa to turn up the heat on Rem, or he would implement some plan to get cameras past the heavy security. He could control experts to come here and crack the security without getting caught. L would not be able to stop it. Rem thought Light would wait at least two or three days before trying anything, but there was no way to be sure.

But, if L forced Light to create new evidence and then uncovered it, L would have caught Kira on his own, and wouldn't owe Rem a thing. Rem needed to do something like L's plan and then hand over the evidence to L in an obvious way. Then, L would owe her his life and Rem would be able to work something out with him. Then Rem remembered L's conversation with Watari. Light would become sloppy if he thought L wasn't chasing him any more. Also, he was a gloater, and that might be another way to nab him.

L said, "Rem, is there anything else you can think of? It is possible that knowledge you possess could be the key to catching Kira even if you think it is irrelevant. Tell me as much as you possibly can."

Rem searched her brain. Was there any bit of information she hadn't already told L that wouldn't specifically draw him toward Misa? Rem could only think of one thing, and that thing might give L some sympathy for Misa as well.

Rem said, "The eye deal is not the only deal that can exist between a shinigami and a human. There is also the ownership deal. It is possible to use a death note without owning it. However, if you own a death note you are forced to kill once, unless you very quickly die or lose ownership. The human owner is forced into the ownership deal by being the first person to touch an unowned death note. There are serious consequences that go along with the ownership deal, and even if the deal is given up, some of those consequences still linger."

"Can you go into detail?"

Rem said, "Death note owners are under a curse of misfortune; it is very difficult for things to go well for them. They will lose all memories of death notes and of shinigami if they give up ownership. Anyone who has ever used a death note has an unusual fate after they die. Something happens to them that does not happen to other dead humans. Our writings are unclear on the matter, but it does not sound good. Also, when a human is the first human to have ownership of a particular death note, the shinigami attached to that note must watch them die, even if the human gives up ownership. Most shinigami in that situation get bored and kill the human so they don't have to wait. That is all I can think of for now. There are many rules and I never memorized them all."

"So," L said, "if the notebook happened to become unowned while I was touching it, I would be forced into the ownership deal?"

"Yes," Rem said, "but I think that will not happen unless Kira is badly cornered or dies."

"That is good. I would not like to choose between becoming at least a one-time murderer or losing knowledge vital to this case. Not to mention the other unpleasant consequences. So, there is nothing more you can tell me?"

"No. Nothing. Although, if you show Kira that you have greater knowledge about death notes than he thinks you should, it will only endanger you."

L said, "That is a given. I will try to work with what you've told me, but I don't think it will help much. Most of these things I already suspected, or they seem irrelevant for the time being. Also, I still have no way of being sure you're telling the truth now. The only thing of true value I've learned is that you want something, and you are willing to deal for it."

L sank down into a crouch, placed his hands on top of his knees, and looked intently at the gravel of the roof beneath his feet. He said, "What do you want, Rem?"

Rem knew she couldn't ask for Misa to be set free or given a very mild punishment. L had pretty much told Rem that she hadn't given him enough help yet to be in a real position to deal. Letting her true desire slip out now would only ruin things. But, if Rem asked for the right things, she might be able to beat L at his own game and find the evidence before he did. A plan was beginning to form in her mind. It wasn't a very good plan, but at least it would give her a chance, and Light wouldn't be expecting it at all.

Rem said, "I want sand."

L looked as bewildered as Rem had ever seen him. His wide, dark eyes were swimming with half-formed questions that seemed unable to complete themselves. He shot her a quizzical glance and slowly repeated, "You want sand?"

Even his mouth moved strangely as he said the words, as if they were foreign to him.

"Yes," Rem said, "I want a small pile of sand, and I want it to be completely private sand. Bring it in secretly, and put it on the floor in a room where the cameras will be shut off from then on. It can even be a tiny room, such as a closet, as long as nobody except myself, you and Watari knows about my sand. It is best if it is a room I can get into quickly from the main room where everyone spends most of their time."

L shook his head as if trying to clear his brain of fog. "What is this about, Rem?"

"I cannot tell you. But, if you want me to save your life, you would do well to get me this sand."

L stood up and pulled a cellphone from his pocket. Delicately holding it between two fingers, he began conversing with Watari about the secret sand and just how to place it in a small equipment room sharing a wall with the main investigation room. When all the details had been worked out, L put the cellphone back in his pocket and once more began gazing into the rain. He looked despondent, defeated. He did not look at Rem again.

Rem spread her wings and plunged straight down, going past flashes of walls and ceilings. _Wait, what was that? _Rem paused and circled back. Yes, it was Light, at a level above all the occupied floors. He must be looking for L. Rem said, "Ryuzaki is on the roof."

Light looked at Rem as if he really didn't want her to speak to him, then made his way to the elevators. Rem lingered a bit, and then decided she may as well see if she could gather any information. Going off to the side from all the main hallways, Rem phased upward through never-used rooms, at last coming out where a jumble of rooftop equipment could hide her well. She poked an eye just barely through.

L was standing in the same place and same position as before. In a few moments, Light came to the rooftop entrance and stood under the overhang, yelling questions at L. L either couldn't hear or was just pretending, because he kept cupping his hand to his ear until Light came out to stand next to him.

Then they had a little conversation about "the bells" which Light seemed to find completely nonsensical. L did not elaborate for Light the way he had for Rem. Perhaps he didn't want to let Light in on that private part of himself, or he delighted in causing confusion for his genius rival. If he was delighted, his pleasure was very short-lived. He looked sad, wistful, as if he expected to die any moment and hadn't had enough of life.

Next, the topic changed to lies and accusations, and L seemed as if he were making one last desperate attempt to convince Light to confess, but Light countered it with a haughty little speech. A kind of acceptance settled over L's features, and he followed Light inside.

Rem moved to secretly follow them. If L noticed Rem's eye sticking through the ceiling as they made their way through the rooftop entrance's security checkpoints, he paid no attention. As soon as they were fully inside, L went to a linen closet, bringing out towels. Light sat down to dry himself on a big staircase, and soon L came along and tried to dry Light. The man's social awkwardness was quite apparent. But his intense, almost worshipful eyes looked up at Light and he insisted, almost begging Light to cooperate with the toweling and a foot massage. For a second, Light looked as if he were going to roll his eyes and give L a kick to dislodge him from his foot, but then he gave in.

Perhaps it was because L was just so earnest. His voice, his face, his body language, they radiated nothing except friendship and acceptance. Despite the awkwardness of it all, Light became caught up in the moment and started drying L as well, running a towel along L's forehead gently to sop the water away from his dripping hair. L was all full of "thank yous" and "I'm sorrys" as he continued deftly rubbing Light's feet, his fingers sure and precise, as if he'd had some kind of training in massage. Light calmed under L's touch and his features changed too, becoming angelic, drowsy with bliss, until Rem saw nothing of the manipulative bastard she knew; she only saw a teenage boy sharing pleasure with a good friend. There was, indeed, something profound between these two. Rem could sense the bond.

What was happening? Was this a last-ditch attempt by L to convince Light to not kill him? Perhaps he thought that if he emphasized the friendship portion of their relationship, Light would feel guilty and spare him, or maybe he thought that Light would feel guilty after his death and be more likely to slip up. Or maybe, L was paying his respects before his death, acknowledging Kira as a worthy rival and as someone he would gracefully bow to if he lost. Or, it could be much simpler. L just wanted to experience good times before he died, and he was willing to overlook Light being Kira in order to drown himself in the pleasures of friendship and forget his approaching death.

The massage seemed to take a long time. Maybe half an hour or forty-five minutes. L did both feet rather thoroughly, and the calves too. Right toward the end, L looked up at Light with a happy, serene look. He said, "It will be lonely, won't it?"

Light mumbled, "Hmmmmm?"

L's serene expression gave way to one that was just slightly pitiful, but also accepting of his fate. He said, "We'll be parting ways soon."

Light said nothing, but he looked angry. The evil came back into Light's face, but L didn't change his demeanor at all. He kept rubbing, happy and a bit wistful, still looking up at his enemy with loving eyes. He must have seen the change in Light's expression, the murderous intent in Light's eyes, but he didn't acknowledge it. Then L's cellphone was ringing. He talked momentarily with whoever it was, then put his phone away, and in the most calm voice ever, he said, "Come on. Let's go, Light. It seems like it all worked out."

L walked away without looking back at Light, and Light followed him obediently, as if the two of them were still connected by a six-foot chain. In this fashion, they made their way to an elevator, stopping in L's room. Light waited wordlessly while L peeled off his damp clothing and threw on a dry set. Then the two went to Light's room and Light did the same thing, except he got different shoes. Both of them already had dry hair. Then they got on the elevator again, both still silent and acting as if they were somehow attached to each other. Rem was sure they were going to the main investigation room, so she just took a short cut through walls and floors. She had a quick peek into her private room, and saw that her sand had already been delivered, and the power indicator lights on the cameras in that room were all dead, turned off.

Then Rem came into the main investigation room and waited. The investigators were in an uproar. Watari had told them something big was about to happen, but he wasn't saying much. He had said the death note would be used and that Ryuzaki would explain the full details when he came. Still, that didn't stop the rest of the investigators from asking questions and arguing among themselves. Then the elevator doors opened onto the room and L walked out, Light still following in the same manner as before. Rem could almost see the chain that did not connect them.

Matsuda turned to L with a pleading expression and said, "Ryuzaki, what's the meaning of all this? You've somehow gotten approval from another country to use the notebook for an execution?"

L did not reply. He stepped into his usual chair, crouching, and Light stepped into place right behind L's chair. Watari's symbol was on the monitor directly in front of L. L said, "Watari, excellent work. Thank you. First things first. Please make arrangements to transport the notebook immediately."

Light said, "Ryuzaki, what are you trying to do?"

L picked up a spoon that was lying next to the coffee cup in front of him, tapped the death note with it, and said, "I'm going to try out the notebook for real."

Everyone else gasped. Aizawa immediately slammed his hands to the counter near L and shouted, "We can't do that, and there's no point in testing it now because we already know the notebook's power is real."

"And besides," Matsuda asked, "who's going to write the name? If someone starts writing in the notebook, they'll have to obey the 13-day rule and keep writing names forever."

In a very calm voice, L replied, "It's already been worked out. The person who will write in the notebook is a criminal scheduled to be executed in just over 13 days. If he's still alive 13 days after writing the name, he'll be pardoned from execution."

Soichiro looked very disapproving. He said, "But still, to sacrifice a life..."

L interrupted him, saying, "We're very close. If we work this out, the entire case will be solved."

Suddenly, there was a tremendous crashing sound, and all the lights went out. Less than a second later, the room lit up with dimmer, reddish lights. Matsuda said, "What is this, a black out?"

Rem glanced around the room. It looked like the computers were still working, but the power indicator lights on all the cameras were out. This would make it much easier to implement her plan, and it was also the perfect time because the test of the 13-day rule had just been announced. She walked sideways through a wall into her special room, noting that Light had seen her go. Once there, above her sand, she hesitated for a split second. This would also be the perfect opportunity to implement the suicidal plan, especially since L hadn't yet told anyone she had tried to make a deal. If she didn't kill herself now, she would have to commit to her lame plan of getting evidence on Light before L did.

No. She shook off her doubts and flew as fast as she could to Watari's room. Before he could turn around, she plunged one hand into his neck, pinching off the blood supply to the brain. He started collapsing, letting out loud gasps. Rem saw L's face in a distorted, wide-screen view of the main investigation room on a monitor in front of Watari. He looked very child-like and scared. He said, "Watari?"

Watari continued gasping as Rem pinched arteries inside his neck. Watari could see out through the monitor in front of him, but none of those in the investigation center could see what Rem was doing to the man, nor would they ever see, because the regular video cameras were still offline.

Watari suddenly lunged forward and pressed a button on the back side of his computer keyboard. In that moment, all the monitors in front of him displayed white screens with three words: "All data deletion." Then, Watari finally sank into unconsciousness and fell to the floor. Rem was instantly plunging through walls and floors in a blur, until she had positioned herself exactly underneath the main investigation room. She cautiously stuck an eye up, directly underneath L's chair. Yes, she'd found the right place precisely. She would be able to reach right up through the central support of the chair with her phased-out arm, hiding her movements perfectly, but, no, her arm wasn't long enough to reach L's neck unless she brought enough of her body up through the floor that someone might notice her, especially Light who was standing right behind L. She needed a way to get L onto the floor.

Just then, L was telling everyone to look for the shinigami and they were making various exclamations, looking in every direction except down. In any case, the chair would completely block their view of Rem unless they bent over, and even then they'd have to look very hard since she was incorporeal and mostly overlapped with the chair and floor. The investigators stopped looking around and Aizawa said, "It disappeared! It's gone!"

L said, "Everyone, the shinigam..."

And at that very moment, he stopped because just then Rem had reached up and given his prostate gland a little squeeze. L's body was no longer under his control, and he was falling, twitching, the spoon he had held falling alongside him. Rem withdrew her arm quickly, hiding every part of her except her eye, keeping even that well under the chair. Light flew past, catching L, lowering him gently, keeping L's head from smacking into the floor. L was still spasming, jerking, helpless and speechless in the throes of his orgasm. His arms snaked up alongside Light's arms, loosely embracing the man above him. Then Light angled his face carefully away from the other investigators and smiled at the man in his arms, an evil smile radiating triumph. Rem moved quickly, reaching up into L's neck from the floor directly below it and pinching off the blood flow to his brain. A few moments later, she felt L's body go entirely limp. Then she retreated to her observing place under the chair.

Light shook L's limp form a couple of times, but there was no response. Then he started screaming, telling everyone else that they were all going to die next. Next, he let Aizawa take over holding L's body and ran from the room, screaming out, "Damn you! Where are you, shinigami? Come out! You know something about this, don't you?"

Rem was sure she knew just where Light was going, so she ducked completely under the floor, moved quickly into place and positioned her eye carefully in the equipment room that held her secret sand. In a few moments, the door came open, and Light was standing there, holding a keycard he had used on the door. He looked very pleased to see the pile of sand. He ran over to it and began digging through it. Nothing. Rem belatedly realized that she should have asked L for a fake death note resembling her own, because then they would have found it on Light if Rem just asked them to search him. She couldn't use her real one because any shinigami who broke that rule, purposely giving a human your last death note, would die. It sometimes happened by accident, but only those shinigami with two or more death notes could purposely drop notes for humans.

Light hissed and continued digging. He whispered to himself, "Where is it? That bitch!"

Finally, Light stood up, brushed the sand from his clothing and called out, "There's something here."

In a few moments, Soichiro and Matsuda rushed into the room, gaping in puzzlement at the sand on the floor. Soichiro said, "What the hell is this stuff?"

Matsuda replied, "Sand?"

Light composed himself as if for a speech, his head held high, his chest puffed out. Then he said, "Whatever this might mean, whatever happens next, I swear I'll avenge Ryuzaki's death. We're going to solve this case, in honor of him. And, for Watari, and all the other victims."

Soichiro got a proud look on his face and said, "Oh, Light."

Matsuda said, "Yeah, but aren't we all going to get killed? Isn't that what all of this really means? Why kill the two of them but leave us alone?"

Light replied, "Matsuda, if you're afraid of dying, then leave the investigation. We put our lives on the line when we chose to be here."

Matsuda gave a nervous little laugh, then said, "Uh, yeah. That's true. But, it's weird hearing you say that. You sound like Ryuzaki."

Just then, Aizawa poked his head through the door and said, "Both of them are still breathing. Mogi and the paramedics are loading them onto the ambulance right now."

Light's face froze for an instant. He looked severely shaken in that brief moment, but then the mask was back in place.

Matsuda said, "Oh, I'm so relieved! Do you think they'll live?"

Soichiro shook his head. "As far as we know, Kira's victims never revive, and I can't believe it was a coincidence both of them had heart attacks at the same time. That is Kira's signature method of death."

"Yes," Light said, "Ryuzaki wouldn't have been spasming like that if he wasn't having a heart attack."

"But," Aizawa said, "right before Ryuzaki collapsed, he was very concerned about the shinigami. Do you think he meant the shinigami killed them?"

Matsuda said, "Rem kills in the same way as Kira, by using a notebook. If she wrote their names down, they won't get better. But, if she intended to kill them, why give them heart attacks they'll survive and then have them die later?"

Soichiro put one hand on Matsuda's shoulder and asked, "You've been assigned to study the shinigami. If Rem did this, why might it be? Will she kill us all?"

"Well," Matsuda said, "Ryuzaki thinks Rem isn't entirely truthful, but she did say she only needs to kill once every few years. Maybe her time was up just now. But, I don't see why she would kill L. I thought she liked him more than anyone else here. It looks like she's hiding now, so maybe she's ashamed of what she did. We'll have to ask her."

Aizawa said, "It still could be Kira. Perhaps Kira has been researching L's identity for a long time and just now found it. If someone managed to find L's identity, probably Watari's identity would be uncovered along with it. If that is true, then Kira doesn't know about any of us and we're safe for now."

"Ah," Matsuda said, "that would be a relief. Then we don't have to worry about either Rem or Kira killing the rest of us right away."

Just then, Mogi entered the room and said, "Both of them regained consciousness. We need to send someone to the hospital since neither of them have identification."

Light's face was starting to lose its composure. One corner of his eye twitched. He whispered, "I don't understand what's happening."

Soichiro said, "You've been very brave, Light. I know this has hit you hard to see your friend like that. None of us understand what is going on, but we'll get it figured out. Perhaps Ryuzaki already has it figured out and he'll tell us soon."

Light said, "No... I... I think we could all still die. If these are my last moments, I need to see Misa."

And with that, Light was running out the door. Matsuda gazed after him and said, "Those two are so in love."

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

I hope you found that a much more enjoyable version of L's death scene.

And, as usual, Matsuda doesn't get it. I often have the impression that Matsuda isn't really that stupid, he just tends to think in simple terms and he tends to believe the best of everyone.


	10. Visiting Misa

CHAPTER 10: VISITING MISA

Rem took one last look at the investigators standing around the pile of sand, mystified and arguing, and then pulled her eye back inside the wall. She needed to follow Light without being seen even once. Staying completely inside walls as she moved, she quickly made her way outside and then phased into an adjacent building. She turned around and pushed her eye back through its wall to watch the investigation headquarters building. Just in time. Light came running out the first floor entrance. He came to the street and started waving and jumping wildly. A taxi pulled up and Light hopped in. Rem waited as the taxi pulled away, then, flying fast but very low, only about a foot above the ground, she chased it, caught up to it, and slid underneath, clinging to its underside. It was only a short trip, and then the taxi was pulling up in front of Misa's apartment building. Rem saw Light's legs as he jumped out and ran.

The instant Light had disappeared into the apartment building, Rem bolted from underneath the taxi and entered the building surreptitiously, sliding within the walls and through other people's apartments. She got to Misa's apartment and began using her eye-through-the-wall trick in each room. _Oh, good, there's Ryuk, and he's alone! _Rem grabbed Ryuk, putting a hand over his mouth, and pulled him into an adjacent apartment. Ryuk sputtered and pushed her hand away.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Light will arrive any moment and he thinks I'm dead. You'll have more fun if you don't say anything to ruin his misconception."

Ryuk looked at her in surprise.

He asked, "Can't humans feel the tether?"

"No," Rem said, "otherwise, we would be able to use the pain in order to drag them around with us, instead of the other way around."

"Yeah, it must work that way," Ryuk said, "I'll do it. Sounds like fun."

"Then, when I push my eye through the wall to spy on them, don't look in my direction. And, don't keep giggling like you generally do when you're keeping a secret. I think Light is really starting to catch on to that."

"Awwwww," Ryuk said, "Light's making everything less fun."

"Well," Rem said, "you know it's true."

Ryuk nodded and disappeared through the wall. A few moments later, Rem heard him saying, "Light! Is L dead yet? I'd really like to go back to following you around."

Then there was a girlish squeal that rose and rose in pitch, followed by a thump and a grunt. Misa should now be hanging on Light's arm and doing her best to annoy all sanity out of him. Rem chose that moment to use her eye trick to situate herself in the best hiding spot of all, deep in a pile of Misa's creepy gothic dolls. In the dark spaces between dolls, her eye could hardly be seen, and even if it were, it wouldn't seem out of place. It was just another doll eye, monstrous like the ones around it.

Yes, Misa was indeed hanging on Light's arm, jumping up and down, hopping from foot to foot like a little kid who badly needed to go to the bathroom. Her eyes were filled with a kind of sick adoration as she gazed up at Light's face. Light looked upset and indifferent at the same time. After enduring Misa's arm-pulling for a few more moments, he roughly shook her off.

Light said, "Ryuk, we need to talk, and you'd better tell me the truth. When a god of death dies, doesn't their death note just fall to the ground? Is there any way they could send it back to the shinigami realm or make it self-destruct?"

Ryuk's eyes widened. "Oh, ho! I guess Rem died and you didn't get her death note? Are you sure she didn't just outsmart you by putting it inside a wall or something?"

"Hmmmmm," Light said, "that's right. I forgot her death note isn't part of the human world, so she can phase it through anything, unlike other objects she carries. Maybe she did shove it into a wall in her last moments. Well, I'll have to get it later."

Rem looked to Misa's face. Misa had just been told of Rem's death, but there wasn't any sadness in her face at all. Rem had hoped to see at least a trace of regret, or of appreciation for her tremendous sacrifice, or at least a brief change in facial expression as the news hit, but Rem couldn't see any sign that Misa was thinking about her at all. Her death was irrelevant, simply another cog in the wheels of Light's plan. Light was all that mattered to Misa. Light was her god, giving her a purpose and showing by example what should be done.

"More importantly," Light said, "is there any way a death written in the note can be avoided?"

"No," Ryuk said, "it can be delayed if you write down conditions of death, but it can't ever be cancelled. I've told you that before, and you've experimented with it yourself too. You should know this by now."

"Yes," Light said, "but I thought that, maybe if the writer died before the deaths completed..."

Ryuk shrugged. "Jealous's last victim died. It shouldn't matter. I've never heard of a death note not working."

Misa said, "What is this about?"

Light replied, "L and Watari apparently died of heart attacks caused by Rem, but they were breathing and conscious in the hospital as of about ten minutes ago. I'd better call again."

Light got out his cellphone, had a brief exchange of questions with his father, and then hung up. Light said, "They're both still alive, and showing no signs of harm or that they even had heart attacks. The hospital is going to keep them for a couple of hours and run tests to make sure they don't have any issues that could lead to them dying if they leave. I didn't think Rem would have had enough time to write down causes of death and details of death. I wish I had her death note and could just see what she wrote. She must mean for them to lead the investigation in a different direction that will prove us innocent, but why have them collapse first? L certainly seemed like he was having a heart attack. He was twitching pretty badly and his face looked very odd."

"Maybe," Misa said, "it was to establish that they started getting sick while you were still under surveillance, so if you left like you did just now, it wouldn't look like you'd done something to kill them. After all, you would have had to write down their names before they got sick."

Light looked annoyed that Misa had actually said something intelligent. Was there any way to please him? Her stupidity annoyed him, and that was understandable, but why couldn't he appreciate her help when it was worthwhile? Perhaps he only wanted to use her, to degrade her, and if she helped him in a more normal way his ego couldn't stand it. The more Rem saw of this relationship, the less she thought it could ever work out nicely.

"Well," Light said angrily, "Ryuk hasn't been much help. I haven't gotten any answers here I couldn't have thought of on my own. I'd better go back to headquarters before L and Watari return and gather as much information as I can. I can't afford to kill the others yet, not without knowing what L and Watari will be controlled into doing. Once I get there, I should probably stay under surveillance too, just in case. It could be the crucial element that puts me beyond all suspicion."

Light began to walk to the door. Misa shrieked, reattached herself to his arm, and said, "But, but you said it was two hours. If you go back under surveillance for who knows how many days, Misa won't have private time with you! Now is the time for lovers!"

Light turned around, put his hands on Misa's shoulders and said, "Misa, what I'm doing now is important to save both our lives. I need to be sure I get back before L and Watari do. This is to gather information as fast as possible for any new plan I might need to make, and because it might be my only chance to get Rem's death note and see what she wrote. If I can just know that, it should become very clear what I should do."

Misa clung even tighter. She chanted, "No, no, no, no, no..."

"Misa," Light said, "what do you want? We don't have time for this."

Misa collapsed, on her knees before her god, then looked up at Light's face and said, "You always take yourself away from me. Please, please, let me have you this once. I want you to make love to me."

Light opened his mouth to reply, but stopped as Misa began undoing the front of his trousers, reaching inside with one hand. Light pulled in a sharp intake of breath. Then he gained control of himself, pushed Misa's hand away, and said, "Misa, I love you and I'll let you have this. But, it has to be my way because there isn't much time. This is the only choice I can give you. Will you agree to everything happening within five minutes? Foreplay and everything else?"

Then Misa's face lit up with the expression Rem had wanted to see for so long. Misa was happy, practically glowing with excitement. Misa leaned into Light and said, "Oh, Kira" in just the tone she used when she had an orgasm.

Ryuk rolled his eyes, said, "Uh, I'm getting out of here," and flew through the wall.

Light kissed Misa tenderly on the top of her head, then led her to the bed and pushed her onto it. He quickly pulled off her thigh-high black stockings and pushed her pink-and-black mini-dress completely up, so it was scrunched up along her neckline and armpits, baring her bra and panties. Light removed all Misa's underwear in a few quick motions, then just as quickly he shed his own trousers and underwear, leaving his shirt, jacket and tie on. A rampant hard-on poked out from the bottom fringe of his shirt, pointing stiffly in Misa's direction.

Misa was shivering in excitement. Her eyes were dancing. She had finally, finally gotten what she wanted. Rem was so glad to see such a happy face on Misa. Light leaned down and looked between Misa's legs, frowning at what he saw, then gave three quick licks to her clitoris. Misa closed her eyes, leaned her head back, and whispered, "Kira."

Light positioned himself over her, spread Misa's legs apart, and rammed in hard, grunting at the same time. Rem watched Misa's face carefully. The happiness was replaced by a strong flash of pain, then the smile returned. Misa was now getting what she had wanted, what she had masturbated to, for so long. As Light continued, Rem waited for the pain to subside, for that faint smile to become large again. She waited. Light kept thrusting, causing expressions of pain to alternate with the smile, but the smile was fading. It would come back, wouldn't it? Misa was having her sexual dream come true. It must be a very hot experience, to desire Kira for so long and then finally have him.

No, this was horrible. Misa's face was not at all happy, it was just the opposite. Strong pain flashed across her features with each thrust, and soon tears began leaking from her eyes. Her face was tensed, turned slightly to the side. She seemed so tiny underneath Light, as if she were about to be crushed. Their height difference was painfully apparent. Misa's fists were clenched tightly in the sheets, not in arousal as L tended to do, but in tense discomfort. Rem didn't want to look at that face any more.

Was there any pleasure to be had from this experience? Rem carefully adjusted herself so that she would have a good view of Light's face but not Misa's. Rem was surprised at how little arousal she saw in it. Light didn't look very horny, but he was flushed, with sweat running down his face. Various unusual emotions flitted across his features, including indifference, annoyance and a kind of possessiveness, but the main emotion, always present along with the others, was a kind of sick, hungry lust for power. He looked down at Misa as if the idea of using her so thoroughly was more exciting than the idea of fucking her. It seemed the sex was just an afterthought to his mind games.

Then Misa cried out with a strangled, pained gasp and clenched the sheets harder than ever in her whitened fists. She said, "Please, slow down just slightly. It hurts so much."

Never missing his rhythm, Light replied, "You said five minutes was okay, Misa. I have to do it like this to finish in time. Besides, don't you want to make me happy? You are so tight like this. It feels incredibly good. Every time your internal muscles spasm to try to keep me out, it grabs me so deliciously. This is just the way I want it. I'm going to come so hard inside you."

Then Light closed his eyes and actually speeded up the pace. He was really pounding into Misa now, lifting her bottom half from the bed with the force of each thrust. Misa was sobbing now, but trying to hold in the sounds, looking ashamed. She probably thought she was failing Light in her duty, not giving it to him as good as she should. At last, some substantial arousal came into Light's face, but it didn't look as pleasurable as Rem would have expected. It was a guarded, slightly mean kind of arousal. Then Light suddenly gritted his teeth, made a kind of low growl, and thrust into Misa twice especially viciously. The look of orgasmic bliss came into his face, but he quickly gained control of his emotions and made his face neutral instead of reveling in the pleasure. Light was obviously an uptight person, someone who liked to be in control even if it short-circuited his enjoyment. There was none of L's wild abandonment to intense sexual feelings. It seemed as if Light thought of sex almost like a task to be done.

Looking completely neutral except for the sweat-drenched hair on his forehead, Light pulled out in a very business-like way and started to do up his clothing. He stopped in horror as he saw blood staining a small part of the lower front edge of his shirt, then glanced to the bed and saw the blood between Misa's legs. He angrily snapped, "Are you having your period? You should always tell me."

"No," Misa said, "you were just rough. Misa tried to make it nice for you."

Light gave Misa a disgusted look and her head drooped in shame, tears continuing to run down her face. Light finished doing up his clothing, thrusting the bloody edge of his shirt deep within his trousers so it wouldn't be seen. Then, suddenly, his face was all sweetness and love. He walked over to where Misa was sitting on the edge of the bed, leaned down and kissed the top of her head tenderly, and then lifted her face to look directly in her eyes. He said, "Misa, I love you, and this type of sex made me very happy. You've done a good job. You shouldn't feel bad."

Misa smiled up at him, sniffing and wiping away her tears. Then she said, "Oh, Light. I'm so glad I'm useful. I can do this every time if you want."

Light leaned down further and kissed Misa full on the lips. Then he drew back and said, "I wouldn't use you that way. I promise I'll give you proper foreplay in the future. I'll still want some rough sex like this, but maybe only half the time. That way it will be fair to both of us."

Misa clung to Light's arm then and she smiled, such a big smile, but the smile didn't reach her eyes. Her mouth was happy, but her eyes were sad. She said, "I will help you, Light. I will help you in every way that I can, even if it hurts me."

Just then, Ryuk drifted through the wall, looked shocked as he saw Misa still mostly naked, and turned right around to leave, muttering, "I thought you guys were done. Humans are so disgusting."

Light briefly glanced at Ryuk's form disappearing through the wall, then he turned to Misa and said, "I need to go and figure out what is happening. It is best if the judgments don't stop right now, or they might connect that pattern to recent events. However, you need to be extra careful. Pay Ryuk with apples so he will look for cameras, bugs and followers everywhere you go. Don't bring death note scraps home. Hide them in widely scattered public places where people are unlikely to look, such as taped to the bottom of garbage cans in public bathrooms, and keep changing locations. Don't ever go to the same place more than twice, once to hide the scrap and once to use it. Write as tiny as you can, on both sides, so you can use as few scraps as possible."

Then Light sighed, and pressed his hand against his bottom lip, in an almost L-like gesture, staring off into space. He looked like he was thinking intently. After a few moments, he turned his gaze back to Misa and said, "As soon as I've evaluated the current situation, I will create a plan. Visit headquarters twice a day from now on so I can get the new plan to you as soon as I've perfected it. If Ryuk is lying or misinformed and L isn't really dying because of some loophole or Rem's screw-up, it is possible I could get arrested. But, even if the 13-day rule is proven false, they still won't have real proof I'm Kira, they'll just have proof I'm a legitimate suspect again. It will be the same as before, when the evidence was suspicious but not enough for anyone to be sure. I may be detained, perhaps for months, but L will eventually have to let me go."

Light grabbed Misa by the shoulders, looked deeply into her eyes, and said, "Misa, if I do disappear I've been arrested, but it is very important that you don't panic in that case. Do not try to use your death note to create schemes to rescue me, that will only increase the chances that I'll be proven to be Kira. Instead, have the judgments of criminals gradually taper off and cease, so that L doesn't see them suddenly stop when I'm arrested. Then, if I'm still gone after six months, use your position as a celebrity to create a public uproar about my supposed kidnapping. That should cause many different authority figures to put pressure on L to let me go. Do not relent in your quest. Have telethons, tip lines, everything."

Misa looked up at Light, smiling. She said, "It will be so hard for Misa if you're gone, but Misa will do everything exactly as you say."

"Good," Light said, "then if I do get arrested, as soon as I'm released I'll have a new plan to kill L even if he hides himself away. I'll spend all my time in captivity working out the details until it is perfect. If need be, I'll have hundreds of the world's top investigators working to uncover his real name. It won't fail this time."

Rem chose that moment to come through the wall. Light gasped, and he actually looked afraid for a moment, but then he put on a neutral expression and his eyes narrowed. He said, "I thought you were dead. What is the meaning of this, Rem?"

Rem said, "I am unable to work properly under those conditions, where I was forced to figure out everything by myself, so I faked my death so you would leave the building and we could talk properly. I can hide myself inside walls and things much better than you know."

Light looked positively livid. He said, "If it was only talking you wanted, why did you hide yourself until now?"

Rem replied, "I was also testing you, to see how you would react if I died. For example, I wanted to know if you would immediately create a plan that involved Misa's death. You have passed the test and I will now help you."

Light smiled now, a very evil little smile. He looked as if he thought he was in control once more and his ego was being stroked. He said, "I had a perfectly good plan. You kill L. Then I can fool the others and become the leader of the investigation in his place, being constantly ready to kill off anyone who shows the slightest inkling of still suspecting me, long before they get any chance to act on those suspicions. That was the safest plan for Misa. Though, now that I've lost my perfect alibi thanks to your urge to talk over the plan with me away from the cameras, the new safest plan for Misa is for you to kill L while Misa kills everyone else."

Rem drew herself up to her full height and extended one bony finger to point at Light. She said, "No, if you two are going to act as Kira then there could easily be additional threats to Misa's life in the future, threats that you might not be able to counter fast enough. The safest plan for Misa is for me to keep my life in reserve until a situation arises where I have no choice but to kill for Misa's sake. The situation you tried to create was an artificial emergency. I don't actually need to die in order for L to die soon."

"That's where you're mistaken," Light said, "because it would take time to crack the security there to get a camera in and then get pictures out to Misa. Any moment now, people could begin to figure out you are connected to me, and in any case, in less than two weeks they'll probably have the results from testing the 13-day rule. Then, L will hide his face away as best he can and probably detain me until others force him to let me go. He'll try to catch Misa, and he might succeed no matter how careful Misa is. Any plan that doesn't involve your death is risky. Don't you want to protect Misa, Rem?"

Misa looked up at Rem pleadingly. She said, "Please, Rem. Light is so smart. He always has the best plan. This way, Misa and Light will be happy together and create a new world where everyone is happy."

Rem said, "Light, I want you to go out right now and buy one of those cameras that is only a few millimeters in size. I cannot phase it through walls, but I can fly it to the roof and bypass all the security checkpoints by pulling it through tiny air ducts. I will then get it to you, and you could palm it or hide it in your sleeve to take photos without your actions being seen on the surveillance videos. Then I will take it out the same way and hide it where Misa will get it in one of the blind spots on the outside of the building. I will not kill myself now. You will follow my plan or devise a different one of your own."

Light's lips pressed into a thin, straight line and he looked at Rem murderously. Then he turned to Misa and said, "Other than L, did all the investigators use their real names in front of you? Or was it just Matsuda who slipped up?"

Misa said, "Well, there's that Mochi guy, I think I only heard that one name from him."

Light went to a pad of paper and started writing.

"Mochi is Mogi," he said, "and here are all their real names, with a little description next to each one. This way you won't get them confused or misspell their names. I'll only need to photograph L and Watari. Watari is an old man you never saw. It'll be easier to conceal my actions if I don't photograph everyone. Once you have everyone's names, make it so they all die at exactly the same instant. Memorize these names quickly and burn this paper. You can't get caught with it. If for some reason I can't get the camera back to you, I've probably been arrested, so fall back on the other plan I told you earlier. Do not kill the other investigators without L, because that will just prove I'm Kira. Also, if you kill everyone and I don't come to you within a day, assume I'm locked in a cell in the investigation headquarters with nobody to let me out. Get people in there to release me."

Misa said, "Misa will perform perfectly."

_Yes. Light still thinks I won't betray him. All I need to do now is make sure he gets caught photographing L and I'll have done it. I'll have saved L's life, and he'll owe me. Somehow, Misa will be spared, even if L has to figure out the details._

Then Rem had a detailed discussion with Light and Misa about exactly where the blind spots on the outside of the building were located and where the tiny camera should be secreted for each of them to find it in turn. When Light was certain that all necessary details had been fixed in his own mind and Misa's mind, he got up and left. Rem stayed, gazing at Misa. Misa sank to the carpet, still half-naked and bleeding slightly, and began to cry in earnest, much harder than she had cried while Light pounded her into the bed. Big, wracking sobs shook her entire frame.

Rem asked, "Does he really love you?"

Misa said, "He will love me, he will. Then, I'll stop feeling like this. I'll do whatever it takes to make him love me, and then he won't have a choice."

Suddenly, Rem had an image in her mind of Misa crouched in nearly the same position, shaking, the razor held just above her wrist. It was such a terrible feeling. Rem whispered, "I'm sorry, Misa. I hope this turns out well."

Misa shouted, "Get out, you plan-wrecker! Light is so much better than you, and all you do is threaten him and mess up his plans!"

Rem began to open her mouth, unsure of what she was about to say, but then the invisible tether yanked at her painfully, so she launched into the air, soaring through the wall and into the street, following Light's taxi below her.

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

As usual, Misa is pretty delusional.

I imagine that Light, being so concerned with himself and being kind of uptight in personality, probably wouldn't be a great lover, especially not when having sex with someone he strongly dislikes like Misa. I usually write Light as a better lover than this, but just in this fic I wanted to explore this idea which is probably more realistic to his character.


	11. Aftershocks

CHAPTER 11: AFTERSHOCKS

After Light bought the miniature camera, it was actually quite easy to get it into the building. Light had the taxi drop him off in front of headquarters, and as he walked through a blind spot he casually brushed his hand along a stone wall leading up to the steps that went to the first floor entrance, leaving the miniature camera sitting on a tiny protuberance of the rough stonework. Meanwhile, Rem had concealed herself in a nearby building. She followed about ten minutes later, grabbing the camera from its perch, quickly hiding the camera in her palm. Then she launched herself into the air, rapidly ascending to the roof.

This camera easily fit through the holes of a rooftop vent, and Rem carefully pulled it through the maze of air ducts with her solidified hand, keeping the rest of her body incorporeal and inside the walls most of the time, until she got to Light's room. Once again palming the camera in her hand, she went into Light's closet and deposited it within one of his shoes, as she'd agreed earlier. If Light did ever check her movements to see if they looked unsuspicious, the video should not make it look as if Rem was trying to be seen giving the mini-camera to Light.

Then Rem considered. Her last plan with the sand hadn't worked as well as she'd hoped. She had halfway expected that Light would have leaned down and whispered "I'm Kira" in L's ear, but his gloating smile had probably been just as good. L should now be one hundred percent certain of Light being Kira. Although, from L's previous conversations, that shouldn't be enough. Knowing Light was Kira and having evidence of it were two different things.

There were only two issues now: making sure that L searched Light for the camera at the right moment, and making sure that L definitely knew that Rem had delivered that evidence to him. It might not be safe to talk to L directly about that plan, even in L's rooms. The video was still recording there, albeit inaccessible except for those with higher security clearance, which probably meant only L himself and possibly Watari. But, as long as that video existed, Light might find a way to view it, and if he saw Rem and L openly scheming against him, he wouldn't get caught with any evidence. If he saw the other things, the sexual things, he would be shocked and perhaps mystified as to Rem's motivation, but it probably wouldn't affect the plan.

Unfortunately, Rem couldn't simply get L to the roof for another conversation drowned out by sounds of the heavy rain, because the rain had lightened to intermittent sprinkles. Besides, it would be quite odd for L to go to the roof at night, and it was important to tell L as soon as possible. Light couldn't get L's photo until L returned, but after that things might happen very quickly. Rem couldn't afford to let L catch Light by himself, or she wouldn't be in a position to bargain.

Rem once again moved through the building entirely within the walls, until she reached one of the vacant rooms. Every room had multiple cameras running all the time, but there was far too much video footage to ever sort through, so nobody ever looked at the unused rooms unless there was some reason to believe someone had gone in there. As long as she was quick, there should be no chance of Light ever seeing this. Rem rummaged through a desk, found a pad of paper, and began writing a letter to L:

_Ryuzaki, this is from Rem. The sand trick did not work as well as I had hoped, but it did stop Kira's then-current plan. Now Kira is starting a new plan and I think I can get the evidence to you. Kira still trusts me and hopes to rely on me. I am sure that Kira will attempt to photograph you and Watari very soon, though I do not know exactly when. If you search Kira at the right moment, you will find a camera a few millimeters in size. I still can't tell you what I want, but it is a much bigger favor than the sand._

Then Rem folded the paper again and again until it was a tiny little square and used the same trick of slipping it through the air ducts all the way to L's rooms. She pulled it out of a vent there in one smooth motion that also hid it in her palm at the same time. Then she looked around to see a place she could hide it where L would certainly find it but the cameras wouldn't catch him doing so.

L didn't wear shoes, so she couldn't put it there. What about his food? In a few minutes, Rem had rummaged through the pantry, gotten out the sugar cubes, and constructed a little fort on the end table next to L's bed. The folded piece of paper had been carefully concealed inside the sugar cube fort. There. And now, just as Light had instructed her, it had been enough time since Light showed up that her reappearance shouldn't be too worrisome. It was time to go downstairs.

Just in case, Rem carefully kept herself inside the walls, and when she got to the main investigation room she came up from under the floor and pushed just her head through, hidden underneath one of the couches under the stairs. Light was there, but Mogi was missing. The investigators were all talking among themselves in low, urgent tones, with the same theories as before, except that this time they were less sure about any of them. They were drifting further and further into weird speculations and also into bewildered puzzlement. Every so often, they called Mogi to get an update about L and Watari, but it sounded like there wasn't much additional information. Either that, or it was being withheld. Still, Rem knew they couldn't be seriously damaged. If she had seriously injured a human, the rule would have kicked in and she'd be dead already. Then, finally, the news came that Mogi was bringing L back to headquarters.

Aizawa said, "How do we know this is a good idea? If their names have been written down, by a shinigami or by Kira, then they are being controlled. Watari already deleted all our data. Ryuzaki could be coming here to sabotage the investigation and leak our identities to Kira."

Matsuda said, "Well, what are we supposed to do? Kick him out of his own building and shut down the investigation?"

"Wait," Light said, "that doesn't make sense. If they are being controlled, they could leak our identities and ruin the investigation no matter where they go. And, we don't have a good enough reason to restrain them. For that matter, why give us any warning at all? Kira's other victims don't need to get sick at the beginning of the controlled period. The best plan for Kira would be for them to sabotage the investigation without us suspecting them."

Of course. Light didn't want L and Watari to be sent away, because then he wouldn't be able to photograph them. Furthermore, if they stayed away, they could be creating all kinds of plans without Light or Rem being able to monitor them. Still, L would never want to leave the death note at headquarters without himself to watch over it, and Rem couldn't imagine the rest of the team allowing L to run off somewhere else with the death note, especially now.

Soichiro sighed and rubbed his temples. "Nothing about this is making any sense."

There were mumbles of agreement all around, and from then on there wasn't much conversation, just a lot of drinking coffee and nervously glancing at the monitors showing a video feed of the parking garage entrance. It looked like the video cameras were now working, though if all data had truly been destroyed, then the footage from before this night should be gone.

At last, the monitors showed a car with darkened windows driving into the underground parking garage, and then Mogi and L making their way through all the security checkpoints, having their retinas scanned, typing in codes, pressing their hands against panels so their fingerprints could be read, and having to empty their pockets of all metal objects, putting them into special scanners before they could go through. During this entire process, Light looked distinctly nervous. He was trying to hold it in, but he was clearly afraid of L. Of course, nobody around him noticed, especially since they were all pretty nervous too, but in their case that was from not knowing what the hell was going on.

At last, the elevator doors opened on the main investigation room and L walked out. Before anyone else could speak, L said, "Well, here I am, back from the dead. Did you miss me?"

L was staring right at Light. For a split second, Light looked as if he wanted to punch L, but then he wiped the expression off his face and joined in the general chorus of everyone else who was expressing sympathy and good will for L.

Then Matsuda said, "Ryuzaki, are we going to die? The shinigami is gone and, there was this pile of sand and..."

L interrupted, saying, "Mogi has already told me what happened here in my absence. And, the shinigami is hiding under that couch over there."

The investigators leaned down to see and at the same time Rem came out. Everyone except L and Light looked extremely frightened. There was a pained silence, during which Rem slowly sat down on the couch, staring at the investigators as they stared back at her.

Then Aizawa broke the silence. "What is going on, Ryuzaki? Is your name written down? What about our names?"

L said, "I doubt any of our names have been written down yet, because I think we would either be dead or we would be controlled in a way that would more clearly benefit Kira."

Mogi said, "What happened today was a direct attack by the shinigami, without it using its notebook. Ryuzaki has been explaining it to me."

"Yes," L said, "if the shinigami were going to kill us with its notebook, why attack us physically? Especially in a way that didn't truly harm us?"

"No," Soichiro said, "Rem wasn't near you when you collapsed. I know that video footage is gone, but all of us were standing there, and we didn't see a thing."

In response, L grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it off, revealing a bruise on his chest the exact size and shape of Rem's hand. It wasn't a very bad bruise, but it stood out so starkly against L's pale skin that it looked extremely dramatic. Everyone gasped.

Matsuda said, "So then, Rem can become invisible too?"

"No," L said, "this is from another day. I have been performing experiments with the shinigami. Rem can reach inside a human body and do various things to it."

L was gazing right at Light when he said that, with a very calculating look in his eyes. Light just looked confused. After a moment, L looked as if he had deduced something. What? Ah, he was testing Light to see if he knew anything about shinigami-induced orgasms. Light's confusion was a definite "no."

Still staring at Light, L continued, "Right before Watari collapsed, Rem came up to him and put a hand into his neck. He felt a cold pinching on the inside, and collapsed seconds later. In my case, Rem was unable to reach as far as my neck without being noticed, so she did something else to make me fall out of my chair and then attacked me in the same way as Watari once I was on the floor."

Matsuda said, "It must have hurt a lot. You were spasming quite a bit."

Suddenly, comprehension came into Light's features, quickly followed by revulsion. He was staring at L in a sick, angry way. Then, Light's expression changed, and he looked ashamed, disgusted with himself. He'd obviously just realized that he'd held an orgasming man in his arms, not just any man, but the one who was both his declared friend and his greatest enemy. Light looked very uncomfortable, and his face kept alternating between looking like he wanted to strangle L and looking like he wanted to crawl under a rock and die of shame. Then he gained control of himself and his face was once again neutral and calm.

L was staring at Light in a pleased way. What was this? Perhaps he liked making Light lose his cool and become upset. After all, L took cases that interested him, so he must like poking Kira and watching him react.

Then L said, "I believe what the shinigami did is what is called a 'sleeper hold' in martial arts, except that she put pressure on the carotid arteries from inside the neck. It is not painful and usually leads to unconsciousness in ten seconds or less. It is dangerous, since if it approaches or exceeds twenty seconds it can lead to permanent brain damage. They determined I have no brain ischemia from it, but Watari is still having periodic episodes where he has feelings of weakness and double vision. If these symptoms don't go away within 24 hours, it means he has received some permanent damage. The hospital is keeping him until then."

Rem said, "Watari is not harmed. I am unable to seriously injure a human through direct attacks. I could only do it by writing down such an injury as a detail of death, and then that person would die later of that injury or of some other cause."

L put his shirt back on, and then said, "Rem, these rules you always mention, what would happen to you if you broke one of them?"

The corner of Light's eye tightened for a moment, and then suddenly his entire face was even more neutral than before, completely expressionless, a mask of unnatural calm.

Rem replied, "I cannot break rules."

Aizawa suddenly said, "We don't know if the shinigami is telling us the truth about anything. It could attack us at any time, lethally or not, using its own notebook or not. How do we know? Our names could already be written down."

L said, "If the shinigami wishes to kill us, then it is a mystery as to why it didn't do so before now. But, if Rem's physical attacks don't kill or injure us, then why attack us for no reason? Rem, is it okay if we go look at your sand?"

"Yes," Rem said, "I asked for that sand to be private, but since everyone has already seen it, there is no point to it any more."

Aizawa said, "Wait. The shinigami asked for a pile of sand to be left on the floor?"

L answered, "Yes. Watari arranged it at Rem's request."

As L and the rest of them began to walk to the room with the sand, L said, "Rem, was there ever a point to that sand? Why did you ask for it?"

L knew at least part of why she'd asked for it. It had to do with the deal she'd offered him, and was supposed to save his life. But why ask in front of the others? It must be for Light's benefit. If L didn't ask about the sand, Light would wonder why. L had to at least put on an act of investigating everything. On the other hand, it might be a real investigation. In some ways, L looked as confused as ever. He didn't know why he'd been attacked or why the whole thing had happened, and, as a detective, he must be very anxious to start figuring things out.

Rem replied, "It is a characteristic of shinigami. We like sand that is private."

L nodded and didn't say anything. When everyone arrived at the room with the sand, L made a motion with his delicate, long fingers indicating that the others should stay back. He approached the pile of sand very carefully and slowly, slouched over much more than normal, his face searching the floor. Then he crouched next to the pile, placed his hands on top of his knees, and stared at it for a while.

Finally, L said, "Watari would have made a single neat pile. Quite a number of grains have been scattered across the floor. There are marks in the pile of someone raking fingers through it, but the fingers are too close together to belong to the shinigami's hand. While raking through the pile, someone knelt at the end that is nearest the door. There is a place there, shaped like a kneeling mark, where not a single grain fell, and also the direction of the finger-rakes confirms the person's position. Someone entered this room and immediately came to the pile, searching through it."

Aizawa said, "Light was the first person here. He called in the rest of us, and then when we left we locked the room again. It could only have been him. Nobody else was alone with the sand."

Without looking up, L said, "Light, what did you hope to find within the sand? Why did you rake through it so vigorously?"

Light said, "I was very distraught at your supposed death, and I thought this was a clue. Of course I searched it. And then, I thought I was about to die, so I ran off to see my girlfriend without telling the others I had been investigating the sand."

L turned his head to look at Light, his eyes very penetrating. With his voice almost a whisper, he said, "Light, since you thought I was dying, why did you smile at me as you held me?"

Everyone looked a bit uneasy, including Light. Light said, "I smiled at you because I thought that's what you wanted. After all, you set the mood by reaching up and embracing me."

L quickly said, "That was not intentional. I wasn't in control."

But now, L was looking confused. Perhaps Kira's smile hadn't been one hundred percent convincing. There was that slim chance that the smile had been a genuine response to a hug. Rem remembered the smile. It was triumphant and evil. But, even so, L had been robbed of a bit of his certainty now. Rem could see it in his face and his movements, in the way he hugged his legs closer.

L said, "Why would the shinigami choose to attack at exactly that time? It is suspicious, isn't it? We were about to test the only thing that could put Light and Misa back on the list of suspects, but the shinigami interrupted us. This will probably delay the test by a day only. What purpose would that serve?"

Aizawa and Mogi both glanced at Light suspiciously then caught each other's eyes. Light didn't see the exchange of glances since both men were behind him.

Matsuda said, "Maybe Rem doesn't want us to use her notebook that way."

"No," Light said, "that's not it. The shinigami was fine with Kira killing hundreds upon hundreds of criminals. It can't object to us killing a vastly smaller number. I think it was coincidence. The blackout happened at the same time. The shinigami didn't want us to see her attacks. Otherwise, she would have attacked Ryuzaki in an obvious way."

Once again, L's confidence looked as if it had been undermined just a bit. Light was so good at coming up with plausible alternate explanations for everything. L was probably still mostly sure that Light was Kira, but his perfect certainty had been taken away from him by his conversations with Light.

L said, "Rem, what you did was very dangerous and all of us would appreciate it if it never happens again. Would you like to tell us why it happened?"

Light's glance flickered briefly to Rem. Light was telling her to behave. There was no explanation Rem could think of that would sound suitable. So, she raised herself to her full height, unfurled her wings for extra emphasis, and said, "I do not need to answer questions from humans. I have been very patient so far with your interrogations and experiments. Count yourself lucky. Most humans who encounter gods of death are very misfortunate indeed."

With that, she gave one mighty flap of her wings and soared through the ceiling and into the room above. Then she stopped and considered. From the investigators' conversations it had sounded like the death note would be transported elsewhere for the 13-day test, but that the test wouldn't be started until Watari was back. Light probably wanted L and Watari to die before the death note left the building. He might even try to photograph L right away, before Watari returned.

It was very important to get the note that explained things to L as soon as possible. But L rarely went to his rooms until late at night, and if Rem tried to hint he should go to his rooms, Light would certainly catch on. But Light might go to his room at any moment, get the camera, and photograph L, then hide the camera again. If L didn't search Light while Light had the camera on his person, he might miss the evidence altogether. Worse yet, an unsuccessful search might tip off Light to try some other plan, one where Rem couldn't deliver the evidence so neatly to L. There really wasn't anything else to do other than shadow L, as usual. That shouldn't be at all suspicious.

Rem went back to the room with the sand, but the investigators weren't there. Next, she checked the main investigation room, and everyone was there, having an argument. There were a number of frightened glances in her direction, but nobody spoke to her. The argument was about how they should rebuild their data after having it all erased. Aizawa was especially angry that a mechanism had been installed to erase the data in the first place.

Finally, L said, "The assumption I made was that, if I died, Watari could still catch Kira, but if Watari died, that meant Kira had won. I did not expect Watari would have an experience where he thought he was dying."

Soichiro said, "Ryuzaki, things have been incredibly stressful and confusing lately, and now that we need to duplicate so much of that work again... I think all of us are at our breaking point. Maybe we need some time off."

L sipped his coffee and said, "I'm sorry. It was my miscalculation. I will be pulling an all-nighter to help alleviate the damage I've caused. Anyone who wishes to stay can help me, but those with families, such as Aizawa, should probably go home and let off some steam."

If L was going to stay awake all night working... would that mean he wouldn't go to his rooms at all? He already had Matsuda making coffee and delivering various sweets to him. There wasn't anything in his rooms he would need.

Aizawa clenched and unclenched his fists, looking at the floor. Then he said, "You always think, because I have a family to care for, I can't handle these things."

Then Aizawa was storming toward the elevator, muttering angrily to himself. The others silently watched him go, afraid to say anything. The moment Aizawa was gone, conversation turned back to the best way to rebuild their data, especially that giant database of deaths that had been destroyed so soon after it had been built. Rem took the opportunity to sneak through the walls and check on the mini-camera. Yes, it was still in Light's room, inside the toe of a shoe in his closet. Relieved that Light hadn't started quite yet, Rem quickly went back to the main investigation room. Now, she should just keep an eye on Light and L simultaneously, while only seeming to watch L. Things should work out. They had to.

Then, horror washed over Rem as she watched another shinigami enter the room by phasing through the wall. Rem tried to remember her name. Yes, this was Midora, the short one who looked kind of like a salamander with an enormously bloated head. Rem pretended she didn't notice Midora, but she was now approaching, looking like she was about to say something. No, this was the wrong time. Things could get difficult. Rem's plan was so delicate, anything could throw it off.

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

Rem has been scheming a lot, and I realize she's probably smarter in this fic than canon Rem, but she's also been making some mistakes like not thinking through the sand scheme well enough to catch Light right then, so perhaps that helps alleviate the imbalance.

I wanted things to become a bit more complicated, so another shinigami interferes.


	12. Shinigami Chat

CHAPTER 12: SHINIGAMI CHAT

Then, the moment came that Rem had been dreading. Midora opened her mouth and said, "There's been talk that both you and Ryuk have pet humans. Why would you bind yourself to such a place as this world?"

Rem just stared ahead, trying not to show even the slightest response. Unfortunately, L had already noticed something. He had stopped talking with Soichiro and now his penetrating gaze was lingering on Rem as he sipped his coffee. This was not good. If Midora stuck around, she could cause all sorts of problems, perhaps even leak information. If L or the other members of the investigation team found out certain things too soon, Light and Misa would become major suspects and they'd get restrained again. Then, Rem wouldn't be able to show L the evidence herself, and she'd lose her chance to secure the deal for Misa's life.

Midora said, "Rem, listen to me. I'm right here."

Then Midora used her thick tail to rear up so she was at Rem's height, and waved a stubby hand in front of Rem's face. Rem tensed inwardly. The next step would be Midora hitting her to try to get a response. Shinigami couldn't hurt each other. They didn't even experience pain through physical means, only through supernatural means such as the pain experienced when breaking one of the minor rules. But, if Midora hit Rem, it would become apparent that something invisible was in the room.

As quietly as she could, Rem whispered, "Not now. All these humans can see me."

L had definitely taken notice this time. Rem was certain humans didn't have hearing that good, so he must have seen her lips moving. Had Rem been too quiet for the microphones to pick up her words? In any case, she could claim she was talking to herself if confronted with a recording. But Midora was not taking the hint. She was walking past the investigators and looking them over one by one. She said, "All of these humans can see you? Isn't that against a rule or something?"

Rem suddenly had a spike of panic. Didn't Midora know the rules? She should have at least looked them over before coming to the human world. Many shinigami barely knew the rules, since a great number of the rules had to do with interactions with humans other than simply killing them, and most shinigami didn't expect to interact with humans in any other way. But it should be common sense to look at the rules before a visit. If Midora didn't know about some of the things she shouldn't do - such as telling a human who the human owner of a death note is - she could easily get herself killed, but she could also completely ruin Rem's plan.

Midora said, "I can't see how you can stand looking at them. They're all so ugly. Though I suppose that small bony one with the dark eyes and shaggy hair is barely tolerable. Which one is your pet?"

Rem held herself very still and stared straight ahead. She was not going to indicate Light. Midora needed to know as little as possible and then go home soon. Suddenly, Rem realized what she should have done all along. She should have left the building for one of the blind spots on the outside. Midora would have followed and Rem could have talked to her privately there. Now, though, Midora was absorbed in examining the investigators and everything in the room. Rem tried to get Midora's attention with a few subtle nods and then began backing through a wall. Midora wasn't taking the hint.

Next, Rem walked over to Midora and casually tried to use her body to herd Midora backwards. It wasn't working. Rem could actually grab Midora and pull, but that would be as obvious as directly talking to her and would reveal her presence. Midora would have to be tolerated for the moment. By now, both Light and L were looking at Rem. This was bad. L's attention wasn't that big a deal if Midora would simply leave soon, but if Light started wondering why Rem was behaving oddly, he might possibly wonder if she had betrayed him, if she was working with L.

Midora examined the pile of sweets in front of L, mostly doughnuts but also a slice of cheesecake and some assorted fruits. She said, "Is this food? It smells so good. Ryuk said the human world has things to eat that are unbelievably wonderful."

Midora began reaching down for a doughnut. Rem quickly reached down, managing to pick up the doughnut at the same moment as Midora. L said, "I thought you didn't eat, Rem."

Rem said, "Oh, I'm just picking this up to look at it. I'm not really doing anything."

Midora said, "So you get to talk to them, but I don't? And I can't talk to you either? That isn't fair. How do I do this? I just have to touch them with my death note, right?"

Then, Midora was taking out her death note and stretching it toward L. Rem tackled Midora in that instant, pulling her back and screaming, "No!"

All eyes in the room were instantly on Rem as she wrestled with her invisible opponent. Everyone except L looked frightened. Rem knew what she was doing was useless. There was no way to hurt Midora, and all shinigami had exactly the same physical strength, regardless of their build or size. If Midora wanted to reveal herself to humans, then she would do so before too long regardless of what Rem did. But just maybe, there was a way to use this incident to force L to go to his rooms. Rem deliberately pushed Midora against L's food, smearing the cheesecake on his jeans and tipping the contents of his coffee cup onto his sleeve. L barely reacted to the food he was coated with. His eyes riveted on the fight, he said, "Rem, is that another shinigami?"

Rem loosened her grip on Midora and the smaller shinigami slithered out of her grasp. Rem said, "Yes."

L asked, "Is the other shinigami going to hurt us? If so, please ask it to refrain from doing so."

Rem said, "Midora, don't kill these humans. Please go home."

Midora said, "What is going on? I thought you liked visitors, Rem. Maybe I should find Ryuk and see what human he's attached to and then come back here. You'll probably be in a better mood then."

No, this was not good. If Midora found out Misa was attached to Ryuk, and then came back, she'd be even more dangerous if she decided to talk to the investigators. It was galling, but keeping Midora here until her curiosity was satisfied would be the best plan. It was a terrible plan, but it was the best Rem could think of.

Rem said, "Fine. Stay here, then."

Matsuda said, "How long has this other shinigami been here? Was it responsible for the attacks?"

L said, "No, Matsuda. Watari actually got a glimpse of Rem before he collapsed, and I'm sure I recognized Rem's touch when she attacked me. Besides, Rem only reacted to the presence of the new shinigami a few minutes ago. Rem, I would like to talk with... Midora, is it?"

Then Midora was once again advancing on L with her death note held out before her. Rem wanted to stop it, but she couldn't think of what to do or say. If she obstructed L from obtaining information he would probably decide she wasn't really cooperating to turn in Kira, and the chances of getting a deal for Misa would go down. But, if she didn't obstruct L's access to Midora, Light might get suspicious that Rem wasn't really on his side any more. Then, if Midora said too much, there was also the danger of L catching Light and Misa without any obvious help from Rem.

If only L would go to his room and change his clothing! But, no, he was too much of a detective to take a chance that he might miss clues, so he just sat there, with coffee dripping from one sleeve and chunks of cheesecake coating both knees. He was even repeatedly drawing one finger across his knees and licking the cheesecake from it.

The moment Midora tapped the top of L's head with her death note, he flinched back slightly. His eyes were very round as he took in the sight before him.

L said, "I am pleased to meet you, Midora. I would like very much to talk with you, and I think the other humans here would like it too. Would you mind touching all of them so we can talk?"

Midora proceeded to go around the room, touching each person with her death note. Even though the investigators were bracing themselves, they all had reactions of shock or fear, except for Light. None of them looked pleased. Light in particular looked as though things were not going his way, and he couldn't stand it.

This was it. The talking would begin any moment. Midora would probably blurt out something that would destroy Rem's plan, and Rem couldn't do anything to stop it or L would think Rem wasn't honestly trying to turn in Kira. How had Midora decided to visit the human world without properly knowing the rules? Even if she said something that killed her, it would probably be something disastrous and the damage would already be done.

Wait, that was it! Rem knew how she could quiet Midora without it looking too suspicious to L.

As Midora was about to speak, Rem said, "Midora, you didn't read the rules before coming here, did you?"

Midora said, "Oh, how many rules could there be anyway? Besides, I'm just seeing what you and Ryuk are doing, nothing else, and then I'll go home. It's nothing complicated."

Rem said, "It is very dangerous to be in the human world without knowing the rules. Nearly everything you say or do in front of humans is restricted. You should go home and read all the rules before coming back."

Midora said, "But, it was so hard get enough willpower to come here. If I go home, I'll probably get involved in a game and forget to come back for a few years. Can't you just tell me what I shouldn't do?"

"I will," Rem said, "but, be careful. In particular, you can't tell humans their names or how long they have left to live or most things about the death note."

Perfect. Now, Rem could control Midora's words, as long as Rem stayed vigilant, and it shouldn't seem to L like she was deliberately obstructing the Kira investigation. But, L did not look pleased. Light, however, was starting to look smug.

L said, "Midora, how is it dangerous? What happens to a shinigami who breaks the rules?"

Midora said, "Oh, usually death. But some of the minor rules have pain as a punishment instead."

L said, "Rem, why did you claim you can't break the rules?"

Rem sighed. She had no choice but to admit some of the truth now. "I can't break them, because I won't risk the punishment. Besides, I'm wasn't about to give humans the key to possibly killing me by tricking me into breaking some rule."

L said, "That is an understandable deception. I do not blame you, Rem. I would have done the same."

Now Light was beginning to look nervous again, but he almost had it under control. It was only apparent in the slight narrowing of his eyes and the tenseness of his fingers. Midora began rummaging through the doughnuts in front of L. What if Midora liked this world's food? She could end up hanging around for hours, and she'd have to be carefully monitored the entire time. Rem didn't want to babysit Midora, she wanted to get her plan off the ground and start making her deal with L.

Rem said, "Midora, human food is dangerous. Ryuk had his body twisted into knots from it, and he was forced to do handstands too."

Midora said, "But, Ryuk said it was worth it."

Rem replied, "Ryuk is a bad source of information. You know how much everyone makes fun of him."

To Rem's relief, Midora dropped the banana she had been about to lift to her mouth. L swiped a bit more cheesecake from his knees, licked it from his fingers and said, "Who is this Ryuk? I assume he is visiting the human world?"

Quickly, Rem said, "It is against the rules to tell them anything about a human who uses a death note unless they know already. You can talk about Ryuk, but not about his human."

"Oh, that's fine," Midora said, "I don't know anything about Ryuk's human, so I can't break that rule. I was going to visit there next. Ryuk is a tall shinigami with black wings and bluish-white skin. He likes apples. Nobody respects him. There are only four or five shinigami who will even play with him."

Now L really looked like he was thinking, as if deductions were linking up in his mind one after another. He was leaning a bit forward, his eyes slightly more shiny than usual. He'd forgotten about the cheesecake on his knees to such an extent that both hands were clasped over his knees, embedded in its gooey substance.

Soichiro said, "This Ryuk, he's with Kira now, and both these shinigami know how to find Kira! If we ask in the right ways, we can perhaps solve the case!"

"But, Dad," Light said, "Rem got sick of being interrogated before, and attacked us. We need to be very careful with these shinigami, or we might not be alive to find Kira."

L said, "I'm keeping that in mind. I only have two more questions. First, what does a shinigami corpse look like?"

Before Rem could say anything, Midora said, "Sand."

L said, "Interesting. Rem was hoping to fake her death at some point. And, this is the last question, what do you know about these rules?"

L held the death note open to the fake rules written on the inside of the back cover. Rem wanted to tell Midora not to say anything, but L was already so suspicious, and Midora probably didn't know anyway. Midora looked at the rules for a while, then she said, "I don't remember anything like that, but I don't know most of the rules. If I ever come back here, if I remember to look it up first, I could tell you."

L said, "Midora, that is all we need of you. We won't bother you any more, but if you feel like telling us additional things, go ahead."

Midora turned to Rem and said, "Ah, these humans are so tedious and ugly. I think I'll go see what Ryuk is doing. They say it's very odd."

Midora began growing wings from her back, wet wings like pieces of frog skin stretched between bones. When the wings were fully formed, Midora looked at Rem and said, "Sidoh is passing out flyers about Ryuk. He thinks Ryuk has his death note, but nobody is telling him anything. I bet it'll take a few years before he gets anxious enough to actually look for it himself."

Then, Midora launched herself into the air, flapped a few times to gain altitude, and glided through the wall. The second she disappeared, L was snapping out orders. He said, "Mogi and Chief Yagami, follow that shinigami to Kira. Take separate cars just in case. Hurry, but when you find Kira's location do not go inside or do anything that looks suspicious, or you'll likely get killed."

The two men ran from the room. In a few moments, L was on his cellphone. He said, "Wedy, right now Chief Yagami and Mogi are zeroing in on Kira's location. Please be ready to immediately go to that location and install surveillance. Orders will come from myself or from them. Call them if I don't call you back within ten minutes."

No! If this kept up, they were going to catch Misa! It was close to midnight. Misa would probably be home. As soon as Midora flew into Misa's apartment building and failed to emerge on the other side, it would pretty much eliminate any doubt that Misa was the current Kira. Rem wondered if she could go after Midora and tell her not to visit Ryuk. No, that wasn't possible. Midora was surely out of range of the tether already, even trying would look very suspicious, and Midora probably wouldn't listen anyway. Rem looked around at the room, desperately thinking, hoping to seize on some thread of hope, some possible course of action. Light looked as if he was barely keeping his temper in check, but L was very, very calm. Both of them began moving toward the elevator at the same moment. Matsuda was the only one left standing in the room.

Matsuda said, "Ryuzaki, I want to help. What can I do?"

Without pausing, L said, "Aizawa is angry at me. I want you to determine if it would be the right thing to ask him to return to work tonight. If you decide it will be okay, please contact him and ask."

Then the elevator doors closed with both Light and L inside. Rem quickly phased through the closed doors and joined them just as the elevator began rising. Light was really trying to hold things together, and mostly succeeding. His face was so expressionless, it was eerie. His fingers were twitching just slightly, but only on the hand that L couldn't see.

Just then, Rem realized that, except for Matsuda, Light and L were alone in the building. Was there any chance Light would try to attack L directly? Rem had seen some of the men wearing guns. There should be guns and other weapons somewhere in the building. Light must be getting very desperate. Rem felt the desperation as well. Briefly, the thought came of killing L and Watari, letting Light take care of the rest. No, no, she'd already rejected that plan, for good reason. It involved trusting Light, and trusting Light was a terrible idea even in the best circumstances.

L got back on his cellphone, getting in touch with Aiber, then Watari, then checking on Mogi and Soichiro's progress. Light got off on his floor in the middle of L's conversations, and shortly after that, L got off on his own floor, making his way to his rooms. He entered the bedroom, talking nonstop to Mogi, and began peeling off his soiled clothing, throwing it on the floor, and then struggling into clean clothes without once letting go of the phone. Rem stood over by the sugar cube fort and tried to get L's attention. Was Light trying to hack into the video and watch L at this very moment?

Then L noticed Rem. He glanced in her direction a few times, but he wasn't coming over. Rem decided she would have to be extremely obvious. She pointed at the sugar cube fort and said, "Ryuzaki, this is very important."

L walked over, still talking, and looked at the fort. He poked it gently a couple of times, then suddenly knocked it over. The folded-up bit of paper was sticking out. Without palming it or trying to hide it in the slightest, L opened it up and looked. Rem sighed. She'd gone to so much trouble to be secretive, but if Light saw this... well, L must be very confident that Light couldn't get into the video footage of these rooms.

L said to Mogi, "Just a moment. I'll call back soon."

Then he put away his cellphone and said, "So, you're willing to deal now."

Rem said, "I was trying to get this message to you hours ago, but you wouldn't come up. Are you sure Kira can't hack into this video and see us conspiring?"

L said, "Kira can't because the outgoing physical connection is unplugged and only I know how to restore it. He can hack all he wants."

Rem said, "You want evidence on the main Kira, right? The new Kira is just a pawn, and if you catch the new Kira too soon or if you make the main Kira feel too cornered, you might ruin that chance."

"I know," L said, "and now that you've told me about the smuggled camera, I can manage that issue better."

L got out his cellphone, set it so that he was talking to Soichiro, Mogi and Wedy all at once, and said, "Light is involved in this. He was looking through the pile of sand as if he expected something valuable that he didn't want anyone to see him take. The cameras were off, and he didn't call in anyone else until he had finished his private search. He had to be expecting a death note dropped as Rem died. None of us thought that a shinigami corpse might look like sand. If Light thought so, he either is Kira or is far more involved in the Kira situation than he's ever admitted."

Over the phone, Rem could hear Soichiro loudly exclaiming, "My son!" in a pained voice.

After only a slight pause, L continued, "Light perhaps had some plan to trick the shinigami into breaking a rule, and for a little while he thought his plan had worked. If we are going to have any chance of proving Light is Kira, we need to let him think we lost the other shinigami before it arrived anywhere. Wherever you are right now, claim you lost sight of it at that point. Repeat your story to each other several times before you tell it in front of Light to get the details straight. Wedy, you are not to return to headquarters at all, because you are a terrible actress. Soichiro, I realize how painful this is for you, but you must not lose hope and kill yourself. It is very important you stay alive, for the sake of your wife and daughter and so that we have a chance to uncover the entire truth."

Then L called Watari and told him all the same information in more detail, finally adding information about everything Rem had done to try to make a deal. Next, L instructed Watari to leave the hospital and go to the "other place," whatever that was, and use it as a headquarters for some kind of information-gathering mission involving lots of stores.

L put his cellphone in his pocket once more, and said, "Rem, you will now tell me everything you possibly can. If you do not hold back information except in those cases where it could kill you, then I will offer you the most reasonable deal I can manage."

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

Well, things are getting very complex, nearly at the climax.


	13. Don't Hold Back

CHAPTER 13: DON'T HOLD BACK

Rem's mind raced. This was it, wasn't it? In fifteen minutes or so, the entire investigation team except Light and Aizawa would probably know that Misa was certainly the Kira who had been killing criminals lately. And, L was smarter than Rem had thought. He hadn't asked Midora that many questions, but he'd known exactly which ones to ask. Those answers he'd gotten... he'd probably already been suspecting the truth in those matters before Midora confirmed it. If Rem held back at all any longer, it would be incredibly risky for Misa.

Rem said, "Ryuzaki, I do know the identity of the new Kira. I can't tell you until you yourself are completely sure, but I think you'll know tonight."

L said, "We'll know Kira's identity just from the location? Then, it almost has to be Misa. Mogi and Chief Yagami are already halfway to Misa's place. But that doesn't make sense. Light is too smart to let an old suspect operate as Kira so soon after being cleared. Or, is Light not behind it this time?"

Rem said, "It was a trap. You were supposed to pursue the new Kira and die in the attempt."

L sat down in a chair and pulled his knees up to his chest. "Is that trap still dangerous?"

"No," Rem said, "at least not in the same way as before. Originally, it was an attempt to try to force me to kill you and Watari. Now, it is only dangerous if the new Kira notices surveillance, panics, and disobeys orders. The new Kira knows everyone's face and name except for your's and Watari's. Furthermore, the shinigami Ryuk is keeping watch for any kind of spying or pursuit and will warn the new Kira."

L got on his cellphone again and said, "Mogi, Chief Yagami, be extremely careful. Please just confirm the location and do not approach the building closely. Leave as soon as you are sure which building it is. Ryuk is keeping watch for people such as yourselves, and your faces and names are already known to the new Kira."

There was a pause for a moment, and then L said, "No, that would just risk your lives and then the main Kira might get away. The new Kira isn't a morning person, so give me until noon tomorrow. No new criminals should be killed between now and then."

L stopped talking and sighed in an exasperated way. After listening for a bit, he said, "Chief Yagami, if you risk giving us away tonight, not only will many more criminals die in the future, but it is also likely that every single person on the investigation team except Watari and myself will be slaughtered. You do not want the blood of your co-workers on your hands."

Finally, L seemed to hear a satisfactory answer and he put his cellphone away. He looked at Rem and said, "So, the new Kira has orders from the main Kira. What do those orders say?"

"To wait to kill until photos of L and Watari have been received, and then to kill everyone at once. The new Kira has the shinigami eyes. The new Kira has also hidden the death note away from home and only kills using scraps, with the hiding place for the scraps constantly changing. If the new Kira is carrying any scraps, these would be few enough that they could be easily destroyed at the first sign of trouble. The new Kira is to receive the miniature camera with the photos on it by picking it up from under the third bush from the left on the west side of the building, in a camera blind spot."

L shuffled a bit nervously, and then one hand began fiddling with the knocked-over remains of the sugar cube fort on the end table beside his chair. He picked up one cube, popped it in his mouth, and said, "So, even though a shinigami is supposed to kill humans, if you had killed me to protect the new Kira, who is almost certainly Misa, you would have died. Why? What rule would that break?"

Rem sighed. She did not, absolutely did not, want to say this. But, L probably had it mostly figured out anyway, and appearing to be non-cooperative was now the biggest risk to Misa. Rem said, "If a shinigami is in love with a human, that shinigami is not allowed to kill for the purpose of saving that human's life."

Just then, L's cellphone rang. He pulled it from his pocket, delicately holding it between two fingers, and said, "Yes?"

After listening for a few moments, he said, "Then, continue following the plan. Get away from there completely, circle around the city aimlessly for an hour or so, and then come back to headquarters."

L put his phone down on the table next to the sugar cube fort, picked up two more cubes and ate them, and then said, "There is not the slightest doubt any more. Misa is the one currently operating as Kira. Is Ryuk also in love with Misa? Is that why he helps her?"

"No," Rem said, "Ryuk works for apples. Other than that, he won't help humans, and he certainly won't kill for apples. If he weren't so neutral, you would have been killed very early in your pursuit of the first Kira."

"But," L said, "if you are in love with Misa, and yet Ryuk is the one now with Misa, then this notebook must be Misa's original notebook. Am I correct?"

Rem explained then about the plan of switching death notes and shinigami, so that Rem would be with the investigators, ready to strike if Misa was threatened, and so that Ryuk would be with Misa, ready to shorten her lifespan with another eye deal, and each death note would be in the proper place to restore the memories of its former user. Throughout the explanation, she used the phrase "the first Kira" to refer to Light and didn't go into much detail about him, because L still wasn't one hundred percent certain Light was Kira, but Rem was now able to refer to Misa directly.

L was starting to rebuild the fort of sugar cubes as a high, skinny tower. Delicately holding a cube in his long fingers, he carefully balanced it as he set it down, in perfect alignment with the ones below it so not even a single crack showed where one sugar cube ended and the next began.

His eyes intense and focused on the work in front of him, he said, "Then, considering everything you've told me, you must want freedom for Misa. I will do my best, but, with the number of people she has murdered, it will be extremely difficult. In particular, if we don't bring in the original Kira with solid evidence, then there is almost no chance of a lighter punishment for Misa. I understand that you still have the option of killing me if I don't satisfy you, but I think there are now too many people who know Misa is the new Kira for you to ever kill all of them, so killing me would not do you much practical good. Also, even if every investigator dies, I think it likely that Kira will kill Misa as soon as he finds a pawn who doesn't know his name and therefore could never betray him."

Rem felt a heavy weight on her heart. This was so difficult. And, much of the difficulty had come directly from Misa herself, making one terrible decision after another. It just wasn't a good idea to be suicidally stupid and a serial killer at the same time. Had Misa been doomed from the time death and destruction first entered her life? Rem had thought that enough power would solve Misa's problems, but it seemed power only harmed her. The more power Misa got, the more she surrendered herself to any user or abuser in her vicinity. Sometimes, Rem wondered if Misa would have rejected Light if he had turned out to be loving and respectful instead of a cold-hearted manipulator.

Rem said, "I understand the situation. But I did come very close to killing myself for Misa's sake."

Rem's voice started choking up. She was trying to hold in the sobs. She said, "I have never been rational when it comes to Misa. I can't let her go, not after everything that's happened. I...I don't know what I would do if you killed her or made her miserable for the rest of her life."

Then, Rem went into the pantry. She couldn't let L see her cry, but if she left his suite of rooms, Light might observe her. Rem sat on the floor, grew out her wings and wrapped them around herself, and then rocked back and forth, sobbing hysterically. Even this plan was terribly flawed, a desperate last-ditch attempt to halt Misa's rush towards destruction. Rem tried to understand what she felt for Misa. The girl was an evil murderer, very irritating, and rarely showed Rem anything resembling affection. What was it about Misa?

There was the aspect of feeling sorry for her, but Misa was so hostile and self-destructive that she really should have worn out Rem's good will already. It didn't make any sense, but, ever since Jealous died, Rem had felt a particularly weird compulsion to help Misa and care for her. The feeling just nagged at her. She wanted so badly to see Misa happy.

Was it because, without Jealous, Misa was the closest thing she had to a friend? Yes, that must be it. Rem had liked Misa and felt sorry for her before Jealous died, but ever since his death, the feelings had been overwhelming. She must have transferred everything she felt for Jealous to Misa. If that was the case, Rem didn't really love Misa so much as she just clung to Misa pathetically in the absence of anything else. If so, her sudden attachment to L and, to a lesser extent, Matsuda, made more sense.

_Nobody loves you. You're just a cold pile of bones, surrounded by death and misfortune. Misa is lost to you, and L doesn't love you. He's only known you a few days and you're not even his species._

Being able to analyze it didn't make the hurt any better. Rem felt like she was mourning Misa, saying goodbye to her for the last time, without even the comfort of being able to do it in person. The next time she saw Misa, Misa would probably know Rem had betrayed Light. And then... it wouldn't be indifference with bouts of hostility and a few rare moments of camaraderie any more, it would be nothing but fierce, blinding hatred, unending and relentless. Misa would never, ever forgive Rem. She would feel so very betrayed. Then Rem wished so, so hard that she could have Jealous back again. If it were possible to restore Jealous by killing Misa, Rem would do it in an instant. But, there wasn't any way to get him back.

Rem rocked back and forth on the floor of the pantry for the longest time. Finally, the despair shrank to a kind of dull sadness, a pain overshadowed by tiredness. For the first time since Higuchi had been caught, Rem considered the possibility of actually sleeping. In a shinigami, sleep and tiredness had nothing to do with each other, but sleeping would pass the time, and maybe when she woke up, she'd be in a better mood. No, there was too much at stake here. At any moment, big things could start happening. There could be missed opportunities if Rem slept.

Rem stood up, stretched herself, and then shrank her wings back down until they turned into bony spikes on her shoulders. She exited the pantry and saw L crouched in a chair in front of a desk with a computer on it. Coming closer, she saw several different views of surveillance video, all showing Light in his room. An additional view showed what looked like a 3-D line drawing of the same room, minus the furniture and Light. Light was pacing sometimes, and also using a monitor in his room to look at views of the main investigation room and both entrances to the building. He was still in his regular clothing, not pajamas, and it looked like he intended to pull an all-nighter too.

Rem felt a kind of sick pleasure watching Light. If the plan went well, he should be confirmed as Kira before the end of the coming day. It would be so nice to see his little god-trip come to a screeching halt. It was the only really nice thing about this plan. Light would finally get punished for all the crap he'd put Misa through, the way he'd so callously exposed her to danger and used her feelings over and over again.

Rem imagined the moment he realized his defeat, with herself walking over to him and saying, "You pathetic human. Do not ever try to cross a shinigami, or this is what happens."

It was a sweet, sweet fantasy. She felt a strong connection with L in that moment. They were working together to bring down Misa's hated enemy. Yes, it was nice to spy on Light like this. Light looked slightly nervous, even though he must know that L might be watching him. The situation was getting to him, breaking through his calm reserve just a bit. The mask had a few cracks in it.

Then L received a call on his cellphone. It was Watari. L talked to him a bit about some videotapes, and made sure Watari wasn't having health issues any more and could arrive at exactly 8 AM. Then L went back to just watching Light, his dark eyes deep and mysterious with that uniquely L-like expression, something that was intelligent, busy, but unreadable all at once. He periodically drank some tea or ate a bit from a badly melting ice cream sundae that was more marshmallows and chocolate sauce than actual ice cream. After a time, the investigators arrived, and Light immediately jumped up and left. As he passed the door of his room, the doorway on the thing that looked like a 3-D line drawing of his room flashed briefly red, much stronger red on the upper right side. In an almost absent-minded way, L said, "He has it. It looks like in his sleeve."

Then, L was constantly changing the video feeds to show Light's progress as he went to meet the returning investigators. Always, one view was the line-drawing thing, and each doorway Light passed through flashed red on the 3-D line drawing in the same lopsided way. L looked pleased and very focused. He dumped the rest of the bag of marshmallows in his melting sundae and began eating it faster. Rem said, "What is it?"

With a mouth full of marshmallows, L said, "None of the others know this, but this building was built with the idea that someone working here might get cameras past the security checkpoints, so there are very sensitive detectors built into every doorway that are completely secret. This shows me Light has that camera in his sleeve right now."

"Ryuzaki, will you arrest him now?"

L made a tiny stack of three marshmallows on his spoon and then held it at eye level, gazing at it as if it were the most fascinating thing ever. He said, "Finding the camera on him would be very incriminating, but if I can get him to take pictures of Watari and myself too, it will be even better. We can wait."

L turned up the sound, and listened carefully to Light and the investigators discussing supposedly losing Midora while following her. Light's body language improved at once. He was standing straighter, looking confident, and even having very smug little smiles from time to time. They were rather small and subtle, though. To anyone who didn't know what a lying bastard Light was, the difference shouldn't really be noticeable, or if it were noticed it would be attributed to staying up so very late that the tiredness was finally starting to slip away. Matsuda was clearly on coffee duty, running back and forth constantly. Aizawa had never appeared. Rem guessed that Matsuda must have decided the man needed some time to himself instead of pulling an all-nighter at work. After a while, the conversation turned to where Ryuzaki was.

At that moment, L turned on the speakers in the main investigation room and said, "I appreciate your concern, but I will be down there at 8AM, when Watari arrives. I have made the test of the 13-day rule a priority and I have a number of rather complicated confidential arrangements to make so that it will be possible to safely transport the notebook. Please use the notes I left to continue rebuilding the database until I come downstairs."

As soon as L had turned off the connection, Rem said, "Ryuzaki, Misa agreed to visit headquarters twice a day from now on."

L said, "Then, we probably can truly end everything before noon."

After that, L said nothing more. He just continued to watch Light and the other investigators as the hours ticked away. Finally, at precisely 8AM, L saw Watari's car driving into the underground parking garage. He lightly leapt from his chair in a cat-like movement, picked up the death note between two fingers, and left his rooms.

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

In case you didn't get L's one-sided conversation with Soichiro, it was about Soichiro wanting to arrest Misa immediately to be sure she wouldn't kill any more criminals, and L being exasperated because it would be likely to lead to a situation where there wasn't enough proof. Basically a repeat of the Yotsuba-related conflict in canon. Soichiro is the goodest character in Death Note, but he's quite an obstruction at times, and if he had the ability to seriously suspect his son, Light probably would have lost. Being good doesn't necessarily lead to good results.


	14. Search

CHAPTER 14: SEARCH

This was it! Light had the camera in his sleeve, Watari had just arrived and L was on his way downstairs. This was Light's chance to photograph L and Watari at once. As Rem followed L, she wondered if she could truly keep her excitement and anxiety under wraps. Wait, actually, there wasn't much need to hide her emotions, since Light's opinion was the only one that mattered now, and Light would expect Rem to be jittery.

When L arrived in the main investigation room, he was very calm and acted like himself. To the investigation team members, he explained that because of the need to be absolutely sure the notebook could be transported safely, a delay of another day or two would be needed, but that he'd already done everything that could be accomplished for the time being, so everyone should work on restoring the merged database. Watari did not appear. Rem assumed he must have gone straight to the control room he used to monitor the entire building.

However, L did speak to Watari briefly on the microphone, and shortly afterwards Watari came off the elevator pushing a cart laden with doughnuts, candy and fruit. Light made some subtle motions that looked as if he were pointing the space just under his wrist in Watari's direction, but the movement was very natural. A few moments later, he got up and headed for the elevator. The moment Light stepped inside the elevator, L's computer beeped. The doors to the elevator refused to shut.

L spun around in his chair and said, "Mogi, Aizawa, please restrain Light. We need to search him now."

Light backed further into the elevator as the two men advanced on him. He waved his hands in front of himself and said, "This is some kind of mistake. L is still sore about being wrong so he's stuck on his crazy theories."

In a commanding voice, L said, "It looks like he slipped it from his sleeve and now has it palmed in a hand. Make sure he doesn't try to hide it by slipping it into your clothing as you restrain him or by dropping it down the crack at the bottom of the elevator doors."

Light crossed his arms and said, "I have no idea what you're talking about, Ryuzaki."

Light was looking just slightly angry, but not very panicked. He still thought he could win. What plan could be possibly have now? Aizawa and Mogi grabbed Light, held his hands behind his back, and led him out of the elevator and into the middle of the room. Then they began to pat him down and look inside his clothing. Soon, Mogi drew out the miniature camera from one sleeve. It was a small, gray object that looked much like a button from some doll's clothing.

L said, "Chief Yagami, please take that camera and see what is on it."

Soichiro took the camera and hooked it up to a computer. The computer monitor displayed several photos of L and Watari. L said, "Light, you are Kira. Will you confess?"

Light said, "I have never seen this camera before. Someone planted it on me, either the shinigami because it hopes to frame me to protect the real Kira, or L because he's just so insanely committed to his discredited theory of me being Kira. Everyone knows I can't be Kira because of the 13-day rule. Besides, according to Ryuzaki, I'm not the kind of Kira who can kill with just a face, and even if I could, I've seen your faces already. What would I need with photos?"

After Light's little speech, the investigators did look confused. Soichiro said, "Maybe it is as he said, Ryuzaki. The shinigami has been acting erratic, and the security here is so extreme I think Light couldn't have gotten this camera through the security checkpoints by himself. It must be the shinigami's doing."

L said, "The shinigami was the one who smuggled the camera inside, but she did it at Light's command. I believe Light has been threatening her into cooperating. Light took the photos himself. He needs photos because he is in communication with the new Kira, who has the shinigami eyes."

In an angry voice, Light said, "That's what you say. These shinigami are certainly up to something weird. Maybe even Midora is in on it. With Rem attacking humans in such a pointless way, that proves something mysterious is going on, but we don't know what plan or motivation is occurring. Until we figure it out, we can't say what is going on."

Did Light suspect the investigators were lying about losing sight of Midora? Only Soichiro, Mogi, L and Watari knew the truth. Mogi was as stoic as ever, hardly saying anything and not looking as if he had a secret, but Soichiro had been sweating and he'd had a stressed expression on his face ever since he returned.

L looked delighted. He wasn't really smiling, it was a kind of subtle smirk, half-hidden by the thumb he pressed to his bottom lip. He said, "So, in order to prove you are Kira, I would need to prove that you have an arrangement with the person who is currently writing down criminals' names, and I would need to prove that this camera is really yours? I think I can do that."

Light's eyes narrowed just slightly, but other than that, his expression was very neutral. He was keeping good control over himself. Light said, "Since I'm not Kira, you won't be able to do any such thing."

L walked over the computer that was hooked up to the mini-camera and began typing. The pictures displayed disappeared one by one. He said, "I'm erasing all data on this camera, and overwriting it so that nobody could ever recover these photos. Then, we will use this camera to set a trap for the new Kira."

L disconnected the mini-camera. Holding it between two fingers, he said, "There is a camera blind spot outside on the west side of the building. We'll put it under the third bush from the left, and the new Kira will come there and pick it up. Watari has installed new hidden cameras and microphones on the outside of the building so we'll be able to watch it all."

Light had a flash of frightened surprise on his face, but he quickly covered it up. He said, "If your information is that specific, where did you get it? How do you know it isn't wrong?"

L picked up a doughnut, licked it, and said, "The shinigami decided to cooperate with me, in exchange for something that is yet to be precisely determined. It can't kill all of us, and it did not like being threatened by Kira, so it switched sides. Still, it might kill a few of us or cause horrendous problems in some other way if we can't find a good compromise with it."

This time, a flash of hatred passed across Light's face before he could control it. He said, "If you got information like that from the shinigami, and if it turns out to be true, then it only proves that the shinigami is working with the new Kira. It wouldn't prove anything else."

L said, "In any case, it would be extremely suspicious, wouldn't it? I guess we'll see. Soichiro, I need you to hide this camera outside for the new Kira to pick it up. Mogi and Aizawa, I need you to completely search Light and put different clothes on him, then bring him back here in shackles and handcuffs. Make sure to remove his watch. That model has a hidden compartment for carrying a spare battery, and he could try to conceal something dangerous in there."

Mogi and Aizawa kept strong holds on Light's wrists and shoulders, and began pushing him from the room. Now Light was looking angry, not trying to hide it. He said, "You stupid shinigami. What are you trying to do to me?"

Rem followed along with Light, and nobody tried to dissuade her. She wanted to be absolutely sure Light didn't try something. What if he did have a scrap concealed in his watch? Is that how he'd killed Higuchi?

Aizawa and Mogi didn't let Light have much movement. They forcefully hustled him along, into the elevator, then down several hallways and into a small room that held only a few lockers, a rolling cart with a basin on it and a kind of stainless-steel cot as high as a table, with straps on it. Light let out a kind of little growl and struggled a bit, but the two men forced him up and onto the cot. They first pulled his watch off and placed it in the basin, then strapped down both his wrists and ankles.

L's voice came over a speaker in the room, saying, "I've had the compartment in his watch checked while he was sleeping, and each time it has been empty. However, it is possible he's had a scrap of paper sneaked in since then. Pull the bottom knob four times with less than a second break in between each pull."

Mogi fiddled with the watch, and a little circular tray slid open. It contained a needle, but nothing else. Mogi said, "There is a needle here."

L's voice said, "Yes. The first time I checked that needle, it tested positive for traces of blood. I think that is how he killed Higuchi when he was in the helicopter, but he destroyed the scrap of paper before I could find it. The helicopter video showed that both of his hands disappeared into a hidden space between the notebook and his laptop, exactly 40 seconds before Higuchi died. Unfortunately, that video was also destroyed with the data deletion."

Light said, "You are making a big mistake. That shinigami has been feeding L some story designed to protect the real Kira. This is all a set-up. Do you really think the son of your superior could be Kira? When I was under surveillance in my home before Higuchi started operating, there were a few criminals who died from heart failure as soon as the media announced their identities, when I never received information on them. If I'm Kira, how did that happen?"

Mogi and Aizawa said nothing, but they did look conflicted. L's voice came over the speaker again, saying, "It is now just after nine, and I believe we'll have everything resolved by noon. I will prove Light is Kira. It is important to do this right, and Light needs to be properly searched and secured. If I am wrong I will make it up to the Yagami family in a big way."

Mogi and Aizawa both said, "Yes."

Then Aizawa picked up a clipboard with a list on it to check things off, and Mogi picked up some scissors and began advancing on Light.

Light's eyes widened and he said, "What are you doing?"

Aizawa said, "A prisoner who needs to be restrained and searched is treated this way. We can't let you undress yourself, and we can't undress you before you are strapped down. However, once we've strapped you down, we can't get your clothes off normally. L will replace everything we're destroying."

Light gritted his teeth and looked indignant as Mogi cut a slice down each sleeve and pant leg, finally pulling away the remains of the shirt and pants altogether and placing those pieces in the basin. Aizawa checked off each item on the clipboard. Then Mogi removed the shoes and socks, and next slid the scissors under the hem of Light's boxers, eliciting a hiss at the cold metal, and with two long cuts to the legs was able to pull those away too. As Light lay there completely nude, he didn't say anything, but he looked as if he wanted to punch someone. His body was almost completely hairless, and his limbs were long and thin, but not as gangly or bony as L's limbs.

Mogi got out a metal scope-like instrument and looked in each of Light's ears, and then his nostrils, as Aizawa checked off those items on the list.

Then, L's voice came over the speaker, saying, "Check his feet for callouses. There is a trick professional magicians use, where they cut a slice into a callous and conceal things there, hiding the cut with make-up."

Mogi moved to Light's feet, and examined each callous carefully. He found nothing. The look in Light's eyes was pure fire. Then, Mogi put on some latex gloves. Light hissed and pulled himself as far away as he could, which was just a couple of inches. Mogi leaned over Light's upper torso and said, "Don't bite."

Mogi put his fingers in Light's mouth, pulling aside the cheeks to look everywhere. Mogi's fingers continued exploring inside Light's mouth for a while, then they were removed and Mogi got out a tube of medical-grade lubrication, spreading that on his latex gloves as he walked to the other end of the stainless steel cot. Light gritted his teeth, then made his face extremely blank and turned his head entirely to one side, staring at the wall. Mogi inserted his fingers and Light grunted slightly. Mogi did not explore inside for very long, but as he did so Light got a partial erection. Light's expression remained extremely blank the entire time, his face and eyes averted toward the wall. Nobody said anything about it, and a few moments later Mogi had peeled off the gloves and thrown them into the trash.

Aizawa and Mogi left with the bin of removed items and the clipboard, coming back less than a minute later with a simple outfit of a shirt, pants, boxers, socks and shoes, all in a color scheme of black and dark gray. They unstrapped just Light's legs after warning him not to kick and dressed his lower half, then once more strapped his ankles to the metal cot and then unstrapped his arms to put his shirt on. Next, they handcuffed his hands behind his back, shackled his feet together, with a one-foot chain restricting how far Light could step, and helped him off the metal cot, leading him back to the main investigation room. He was unresisting but looked upset.

As soon as they arrived in the room with the others, Light said, "I'm not Kira, and you'll know that sooner or later. Then you'll be sorry."

L replied, "Whatever you say, Light. The truth will come out. By the way, I've been tracking the location of Misa's cellphone, and it seems she's on her way here. Won't that be interesting?"

Matsuda said, "Ryuzaki, I don't understand. Misa visits here nearly every day since she moved out. Why would this time mean anything?"

L picked up a strawberry and held it at eye-level, his dark eyes seeming to be entirely absorbed in it. He said, "I don't think there is any point in keeping this a secret any longer. The only building Midora entered was the one with Misa's apartment in it. Misa is certainly the Kira who is operating with Ryuk right now."

Aizawa said, "What?"

Soichiro said, "Yes, it is true. We were instructed not to say anything in case it would cause Light to be suspicious and not get caught with evidence. It is now clear that my son is Kira unless these shinigami are conspiring to frame him."

Light leaned forward slightly, and then said, "L, what you are doing is completely pointless. Even if Misa is killing people and has an agreement with this shinigami, that would only lend more weight to the idea that the shinigami is trying to trick us somehow. I am not Kira."

In a slightly more sinister tone, Light continued, "What is that shinigami doing to you to convince you it is telling the truth?"

L said nothing, but began typing at the keyboard in front of him. Instantly, the monitors displayed multiple views of the outside of the building, including the former blind spot and one that showed a view of the street. After a couple of minutes, a taxi pulled up and Misa got out. Rem could see Ryuk flying behind her.

L said, "Please gag Light now. I will probably need to speak to Misa and I don't want him trying to shout things in the background."

Mogi produced a ball-gag with heavy straps and fastened it around Light's head, testing each strap carefully before he stepped back with a small grunt of satisfaction. Light breathed noisily through the small holes in the ball. Light's eyes were still defiant. He didn't look as worried as Rem would expect. Did he really expect his story of a shinigami conspiracy to work?

As long as Misa picked up the camera, it had to prove that Light and Misa were both Kira, didn't it? Well, L didn't look worried at all about whether it would work, but, then, Light didn't really look very worried either. Mostly he looked angry. Were both of them just doing a good job of hiding their feelings?

The monitors showed Misa going right by the bush where the camera was concealed and coming to the first-floor entrance. The motion-detectors installed there caused a brief harsh beeping sound. Of course, it would be strange for Misa to come here and not visit with Light, so she had to visit as a cover, and it was also true that spending time with Light had always been a priority with Misa, even in life-or-death situations. So it made sense that Misa wouldn't pick up the camera first. She must be planning to do so on the way back. When Light didn't appear, would that ruin the whole plan? Misa was still standing there expectantly. Rem drank in the view, making a bittersweet memory to treasure. Misa looked surprisingly normal, perhaps even slightly happy.

_Will she ever look like this again? Is this the last time that any sort of happiness graces her features?_

L pressed a button on a microphone in front of him and said, "Misa, this is Ryuzaki. I'm terribly sorry, but today we are engaged in an exercise where we practice locking down the entire building. Nobody will be able to come in or out until tomorrow. I shouldn't even be speaking to you right now."

Misa looked directly at one of the cameras and said, "Can't you let Light talk? Just for a minute?"

L said, "No, Misa. The only microphone currently connected to the outside is in my private rooms, and nobody except me is allowed in here. You visited with Light in person last night, and tomorrow you can talk with him again. This is all I will say now."

Misa lingered at the entrance for a few moments, bouncing a bit on her toes, and then she turned around and began walking away.

L said, "Rem, where is Ryuk? Will he notice the new surveillance cameras and warn Misa?"

Rem said, "Ryuk is right behind Misa. I don't think he's paying any attention. After all, he already knew the place to be a blind spot for the video cameras. Why should he work so hard to check again?"

As Misa passed the correct bush, she stumbled slightly, and knelt down, unfastening and then tightening one of the dozen or so buckles on the big black boots she wore. One hand brushed slightly along the bush as she got up again.

L said, "She must have it. Go!"

Soichiro, Mogi and Aizawa bolted from the room. Shortly afterwards, they showed up on the monitors. They surrounded Misa just as she was about to get into her taxi, putting a blindfold on her and handcuffing her. Misa fought this time, unlike her first arrest. She spat at the men and threw herself to the sidewalk, and then began crying.

While Soichiro held out his badge for the taxi driver, Aizawa held Misa firmly and Mogi dug his hand into Misa's tightly clenched fist. Mogi then held up something too tiny to see on the monitors. He had the miniature camera. Misa screamed, a wild and frightened sound. She was struggling so hard that the men couldn't make her walk at all. With Aizawa and Mogi each taking one end, they hoisted her up and carried her between them, walking toward the first-floor entrance. Getting inside the building was a lot more complicated than getting out. Rem knew it would take them several minutes to pass the other direction through all the security devices.

Rem was just dreading the confrontation with Misa. She had imagined herself gloating over Light in this moment, but she felt so horrible that she didn't have the heart to gloat. Misa had perhaps never been a real friend, but, in a few moments, Misa would no longer be even her ally. And, would this plan even work? Light seemed to be convinced that the investigators still hadn't proved he was Kira. Was that just a desperate hope, or was it true? Even if they hadn't proved it, there couldn't be much doubt left.

All too soon, the three men were coming into the main investigation room with Misa. Soichiro looked as if he'd visibly aged in just the last few hours. His face was strained, with many lines etched into it. Misa had on a cloth blindfold and handcuffs, but in a few moments Aizawa and Mogi had put her in shackles as well and fastened a very secure large metal blindfold over the top of the cloth blindfold, so large it was almost a mask. Misa was panting, like the exhaustion after a strenuous crying session.

Ryuk drifted through the wall just then, and began laughing. He said, "Well, Light, it looks like they've caught both of you. I'll give you a bit of time to see if you can figure a way out of this, but if you fail, I'll kill you. Remember, since you're the first human to own my second death note, I have to see you die."

Misa let out a pained sob and Light sent a death glare in Ryuk's direction.

Rem felt a sudden urge to kill all the investigators. They were scaring her precious Misa! But, she couldn't do anything. If she even said a word, Misa would figure out she'd been betrayed. Rem wanted to keep the deception going as long as possible.

L said, "Misa, do you confess to being the second Kira?"

Misa flinched, then blindly turned her head toward the voice and said, "That again? I've told you, I don't know anything about the second Kira."

L got up from his chair and walked over until her was only a few feet from Misa. Then he said, "Misa, we caught you with a camera that had photos of myself and Watari on it. We know you did this according to orders from Light."

Misa sniffed indignantly and said, "And months ago you said you'd caught me with evidence I'd sent the Kira video tapes to Sakura TV, even though I told you those were occult videos, and later you said I'd been controlled by Kira into sending them."

L said, "Yes, but now that we know more about Kira's power, it seems that Kira can only control people in the course of killing them. Why are you still alive? You must have been Kira, but you gave up ownership and lost your memories, am I right?"

Misa flinched again, and said nothing.

Ryuk said, "Oh, this one is smart. It looks like he knows almost everything."

L walked back to his computer, started typing on the keys, and said, "Well, there are other ways to prove this beyond a shadow of a doubt."

A low-quality video started displaying on one of the monitors. Light immediately went rigid. It looked like the inside of a store... wait, it was that store! The one where Light bought the tiny camera! Soon, the video showed Light come up to the counter and buy the camera. He was wearing sunglasses and a hat, but it was recognizably him even with those items and the graininess. And, for a little while, Rem herself showed up in the background.

L said, "Stores always have their surveillance videos arranged so that people's faces will be shown when they purchase. I had Watari conduct an operation of collecting all video from stores within an hour's drive that sell these sorts of cameras, and search through all of those videos for Light. You may also recognize the clothing Light wore last night, and I've had area police search the nearby trash and they've already retrieved the hat and sunglasses that Light used. Light did buy that camera, and he is Kira."

Light looked extremely angry, and he was shaking just a bit. He set his gaze on the death note and tensed as if he might make a run in its direction, but Aizawa grabbed his arm very firmly.

Matsuda gave Light a look of pure despair and said, "He really is Kira. There's no other way it could be."

Soichiro slumped against the wall behind him. There was an incredible tiredness in his eyes. With a voice filled with disappointment, he said, "Light."

L said, "Remove Light's gag. It is no longer important to keep him from saying the wrong thing in front of Misa."

Mogi walked over to Light and undid the buckles on the heavy straps that had fastened the ball-gag firmly to his mouth, pulling it away in a quick motion. Light coughed a few times and licked his lips, but didn't say anything. His eyes were pure evil, pure defiance. He glanced briefly at Ryuk, the shinigami that none of the investigators could see or hear yet.

Mogi said, "Light, we all know the truth now. There's no point in denying it."

Aizawa said, "Mogi is right. You should just confess. It'll make a difference in how well you're treated before you die."

Light said nothing. He still looked determined, and mean. He looked like he believed in himself, like he thought of himself as a god, and if he just kept making plans, he'd get out of this.

Misa let out a strangled scream then, and panted a few times. When she got her breath back, she said, "I did it. I'm Kira. It's all my fault. I controlled Light to do everything he did. It is possible to control people without killing them. If you kill me, the deaths will stop and Light will go back to normal."

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

I am disappointed that canon Death Note never did anything about trying to convict Misa. Near and the SPK just forgot about her and let her go, even though after Light was exposed the task force must have known that Misa had to have been the second Kira. There was really no other way to look at it.

It was like nobody cared about Misa's crimes and everyone completely forgot about her, unless you think that Near perhaps kept one of the death notes and wrote down Misa's later suicide. It's another example of the way that female characters in Death Note are treated as if they're unimportant and disposable. It's like Misa's story wasn't important enough to tell and she just became decoration in the second half of the series.

I think that if Light and Misa were cornered at the same time and place, this is exactly what Misa would try to do. She was willing to die for Light almost from the first moment she saw him.


	15. Too Much Information

CHAPTER 15: TOO MUCH INFORMATION

No! Misa was trying to take all the blame and punishment herself, leaving Light free. The investigators wouldn't believe such a stupid lie, would they?

L said, "I doubt it is possible to control someone with the notebook and leave them alive. But, if we assume Misa is telling the truth about that, then we currently have no way of knowing whether Light is the puppet and Misa the master, or whether it is the other way around."

Misa said, "It's me. I swear it's me. I'm the one who is always so interested in Light. He doesn't show much interest in return. Of course he's my puppet."

L said, "In order for me to believe such a thing, Misa would need to tell us how to control without killing, and we'd have to prove the method works by testing on a suitable target, and then we would still need to sort out whether Misa or Light is the one in control."

Aizawa said, "Ryuzaki, it's obvious these two are both Kira. Misa is lying."

L said, "I agree. However, I will give Misa a week to come up with some proof of her story. During that time, there are a few other things we need to sort out as well, such as finding the location of the second notebook and being absolutely sure there is no additional Kira out there."

Ryuk chuckled and said, "It looks like you've got a week to live, Light. Unless you can figure out a way to get the investigators to accept Misa's story or somehow physically escape. And if you run I don't think Rem will let you get far."

L said, "We will need to imprison both of them here and watch them at all hours. Before Misa is confined, she will need to be searched thoroughly in case she has any scraps on her. I'll summon Wedy to do that, but until Wedy arrives I need two men watching her at all times. Remember, she knows everyone's name except my own name and Watari's name, so if she has any hidden scraps she could kill in just a moment of inattention."

L got out his cellphone and had a short conversation with Wedy, then put it away and said, "She was already waiting to be summoned. It should only be about ten minutes. In the meantime, two of you should take Light to one of the prison cells downstairs."

Aizawa still had a strong grip on Light's arm. He glanced at Soichiro and gave a quick nod. Soichiro began approaching Light. Light looked extremely angry and a bit scared. He said, "Misa, they can't kill us as long as we have our memories and they haven't found the other death note yet. They will keep hoping to get the location."

Matsuda said, "There's no way _she's_ in charge of _him_."

As Soichiro and Aizawa began pushing Light toward the elevator, Light turned his head to look at Rem and said, "You goddamn perverted shinigami. How many humans are you going to fall in love with?"

Soichiro and Aizawa stopped moving, while all the investigators except L and Light looked either confused or shocked. An evil little smirk spread across Light's face.

"Yes, that's right" Light said, "the only reason Rem switched sides is because L is fucking her."

In a completely unfazed voice, L said, "Technically, that's not true, since Rem is physically incapable of having sex. But, yes, we have participated in activities that I think of as sexual experiments."

At that statement, Mogi, Aizawa, Soichiro and Matsuda all looked shocked beyond belief. Soichiro and Aizawa even let go of Light's arms, their own arms dropping to their sides.

L said, "Don't get distracted from your duties. We need to keep Light and Misa under control."

L casually took a sip of his coffee, as if he were completely unconcerned about the admission he'd just made. Soichiro and Aizawa took a hold of Light's arms again, and Mogi and Matsuda made sure they were watching Misa. All four men had disbelief, astonishment and revulsion battling for control of their facial expressions.

Misa blindly turned her head from side to side as if she thought she could somehow look right through the blindfold and see. She said, "Rem? Is that true? You betrayed me so these guys could catch Kira? I thought... I thought you loved me."

"No," Rem said, "it isn't like that. Everything I've told the investigators has been for your sake. You were going to get killed if I hadn't made a deal with L. It had nothing to do with sexual things."

Misa's face was turning red with rage. This was it. From now on, Misa would hate Rem. Rem tried to brace herself for the onslaught. Her long crying session the previous night had worked out some of those emotions, made her braver and more stoic about the situation, but it was still hard. Rem kept holding the thought in her mind that she was protecting Misa. Even if Misa didn't understand it, it was better for Misa to be safe and hate Rem than to die or to be alive entirely at Light's mercy.

Misa said, "I didn't know you were so superficial, Rem. Jealous was a better shinigami than you. He loved me for real, and he had the courage to do what you're too cowardly to do. What is it? Am I not pretty enough? Is L your type because he's so bony and weird and gross? You should have thought about my feelings first. What made you think you could fuck L?"

Light was being led onto the elevator. Just as the doors were closing, Light said, "Rem, don't you care for Misa? You could still save us. Break us out and bring the death note. Rip off Misa's blindf-"

Aizawa rammed his elbow into Light's gut and the rest of the sentence was lost as Light grunted and doubled over in pain. A second later, the elevator doors closed, taking Light, Aizawa and Soichiro away.

Misa said, "Rem, you should have killed me when I asked you to. Then you could have killed all the investigators afterwards. I would have been happy to die for Light. But now you think you know what's best for me. I don't care if you save me or not, but you have to save Light or I'll hate you forever."

Ryuk said, "Rem, it looks like you're in a tough situation. I told you feelings would get you in trouble. Why don't you just ignore what these humans want and let events unfold naturally? That's the most entertaining way to approach all this."

Rem sighed. L watched Rem intently, and followed her gaze to a blank space in front of the wall.

L said, "Rem, is Ryuk over there? Can we talk to him?"

Ryuk said, "Light might still get loose, and I guess he has a better chance to do that if these guys can't see me or talk to me."

Rem said, "Ryuk is hoping that it could help Light if he remains secretive. However, if you bring him apples he might loosen up."

L got onto his microphone and asked Watari to bring all the apples he could, and to order several additional bushels for subsequent days.

Ryuk's mouth hung open. He said, "Bushels? Light always rationed my apples so carefully. Well, maybe it wouldn't be too bad to talk with these guys. Light probably won't talk to me anyway and I'm getting really tired of this stupid girl."

Misa flinched and said, "Hey, Misa heard that!"

Mogi and Matsuda looked puzzled. Within a minute, Watari was there with over a dozen apples. Ryuk downed them one at a time, consuming each in about three bites, even the core. L, Mogi and Matsuda gazed at the sight in astonishment. To them, it must look as if the apples were eating themselves.

Towards the end of this performance, Soichiro and Aizawa returned. L already had several camera angles of Light's cell displayed on the monitors at the front of the room. When Ryuk finished the last apple he sighed contentedly, then pulled out his very own death note from the holder at his waist and went around the room, tapping each person's shoulder except Misa. The investigators reacted less strongly than they had with Midora, but they were still clearly unsettled.

L just kept sipping his coffee, keeping his eyes on Ryuk. After observing for a time, he said, "Interesting."

Ryuk said, "I'm not going to say anything that might help or hurt Light."

At that moment, the elevator doors opened and Wedy walked in. L gave her some instructions about how to search Misa and also told her she'd be in charge of thoroughly examining everything in the basin that had been removed from Light. Wedy made a face to indicate her distaste, but she led Misa away to the examination room. Rem chose to stay. It had been nice to see Light humiliated by his own strip search, but Rem didn't want to have that kind of memory of Misa.

The investigators stood around awkwardly for a while, glancing at each other and at L. L was almost entirely absorbed in watching Light in his cell on the monitors, but he also had some gumdrops of various colors that he kept rearranging on the counter in front of him. Soichiro was sweating buckets and he really didn't look at all well.

Finally, Mogi said, "Ryuzaki, Rem wants Misa to be let go, right?"

L spun his chair around to face the investigators. He said, "Yes. According to the shinigami, Misa does not have long to live, and Rem wants Misa's remaining time to be happy. Rem is unable to tell me how long, but if she's telling the truth, then assuming a normal Japanese life expectancy it is unlikely to be more than 15 years. If we refuse to deal with the shinigami, she will kill at least a couple of us, or she will do other things that are just as bad or worse."

Aizawa's fists were clenching and unclenching by his sides. He said, "Misa killed Ukita! She killed him! And you propose to just let her go?"

L said, "This should not be about personal feelings of revenge. It is more important to close the case. But I agree that it is unacceptable to let someone who has murdered so many people go free."

Rem said, "Ryuzaki, what will you do to Misa after this week has passed?"

L picked up a green gumdrop, popped it in his mouth and said, "I was thinking that she should be put in a high-security insane asylum. A very nice one, with plenty of space, lots of individual attention with a high worker-to-patient ratio, and even some escorted excursions to the outside world. Misa would have a pleasant life, and yet she'd still be imprisoned. Of course, to keep a celebrity in such a place for years, we'd have to stage a very public breakdown. I already have some ideas about how we can do that."

L gazed into his coffee as if it were the most important thing in the world, then placed the cup just under the counter, and with one sweeping motion, pushed all the gumdrops off the counter and into his coffee.

"Besides," L said, "from studying Misa's character, I believe she is in danger of harming herself. Even if we could let her go entirely free, it might lead to much greater misery on her part, which I'm sure is something the shinigami does not want."

Rem sighed. This did sound like the best option. After losing Light, Misa would need a lot of counseling and psychiatric care before she'd have any chance of being happy again. In fact, this is probably what Misa had needed all along. She didn't need the power to kill with pen and paper. She needed a shrink, and badly. Additionally, Misa would be under watch against self-harm. Rem felt as if Misa had been just on the edge of slitting her wrists for so very long. Now, with Light gone, Misa might try something drastic.

Rem said, "I agree that this is the best for Misa. However, it needs to be a truly nice place, where she will receive as much care as possible."

Soichiro said, "Deciding Misa's punishment, that's not for us. Even if the shinigami does kill us in revenge, we should hand over both Kiras to Interpol and let them decide the punishment. It's the right thing to do. All those victims of Kira, are we going to shove them aside just to save ourselves?"

L said, "Ordinarily, I would agree, but events have happened that will make it impossible to hand over either of them to the authorities. Whatever happens to Light and Misa from now on will be our choice. I expect we will probably have to execute Light, but we'll have to do it ourselves. That's another reason why I gave us a week. We need time to decide."

Aizawa said, "What do you mean?"

L stared down into his coffee with a despondent look on his face, his eyes as round and dark as the beverage before him. He said, "Ever since the video the second Kira made claiming that Kira can pass on the ability, there have been numerous attempts by all sorts of organizations, including ones within the most powerful and democratic nations on earth, to make it clear that they want to obtain Kira's power. I am sure that if we handed over any Kira to the authorities, an execution would be faked and the person would be spirited away to be tortured and studied in some secret lab."

L took a sip of his coffee and continued, saying, "Then, if that Kira remembered the notebook, all of us and our families would be captured and tortured in an attempt to make us hand it over, and even if we had already destroyed it, we'd be tortured for years before they believed us. In fact, even if we handed a memory-free Kira to them, and they never realized that Kira's power was concentrated in a notebook, there would still be a strong chance the same thing would happen. If they had any suspicion we had a live Kira in custody long enough to possibly learn the secret, we would never be safe. The only reason it hasn't happened yet is because the police saw Higuchi die as we were trying to capture him."

Matsuda said, "They... they would do that? Aren't they the good guys?"

L said, "You'd be surprised at some of the things that go on inside organizations such as the CIA. Every powerful nation has sponsored some terribly immoral actions, and, even beyond the safety of ourselves and our families, we need to protect the world from the secret of the notebooks."

Soichiro's hands were trembling. He said, "I don't require any more proof. Light is Kira, and if we do need to kill him, I don't know how I'll stand waiting out the week. Please... just-"

Soichiro's voice broke in a sob. He said, "Please kill him now. It's tearing me apart."

L got up from his chair and walked to Soichiro's side. He awkwardly patted Soichiro's back, as if he had no idea what to do with an upset person.

L said, "If you are afraid you might do something to yourself, I understand. We can lock you up like before if you want. But Light is correct about one thing. Both their lives need to be preserved until we locate the second notebook. Also, we need to be absolutely sure there isn't a third notebook and that they haven't set up some other person to act as Kira. Letting Misa think there is still a tiny chance we'll believe her story is mostly a ploy to keep her from erasing her memories too soon."

Rem said, "I am almost completely certain there is no third death note among humans. But it is possible there might be some plan to cause another person to find and use Misa's death note if she doesn't retrieve it. I have no idea where it is hidden."

Ryuk chuckled and said, "I know where it is, but I think it would be much more interesting to watch these guys try to find it. But, even though I'm not on your side, I am going to solve one of your problems for you."

L asked, "What?"

Ryuk said, "I'm going to kill Light, just as soon as his week runs out. He's my kill. Don't think of taking him from me."

There was a stunned silence in the room as everyone absorbed that information. Soichiro hung his head and began sobbing quietly.

L walked back to his chair and said, "So, then, is everyone agreed? Misa will go to an insane asylum, Ryuk will kill Light, and we have one week to find the other notebook?"

Aizawa let out a disgusted sigh, and Soichiro clenched his fists, but everyone in the room gave their assent. Soichiro asked to be locked up again, so L had Watari escort him to a cell downstairs, one larger and more comfortable than Light's cell, with a private bathroom, and far enough away from Light that Soichiro wouldn't be tormented by the sight or sound of his murdering son.

Watari arrived back soon with a cart loaded down with coffee, tea, doughnuts and croissants for everyone. The exhausted investigators, all of whom except Aizawa had been up all night, crowded around the cart and began taking items from it. A few moments later, Wedy arrived and explained that Misa had been fully searched and then secured in a relatively comfortable cell where she couldn't possibly harm herself. Wedy took a cup of coffee while L made sure the monitors showed views of Light, Misa and Soichiro in their respective holding cells.

After a few minutes of idle chatter among the co-workers, unwinding from all the stressful events, Matsuda walked over to L and said, "Uh, Ryuzaki, is it really true... you did those things with Rem? It wasn't just something you said as a trick? I mean, how is that... it doesn't seem..."

L said, "Yes, but it wasn't a plan or anything. The first time was a complete accident. If you hadn't asked Rem to stay out of your rooms that night, maybe it would have been you."

Matsuda looked as if he'd swallowed something extremely unpleasant and was trying to decide whether to vomit or not.

Oblivious to the distress behind him, L continued, "And then, after that, it was one of several ways I was studying the shinigami. Plus, a shinigami can do really amazing things by manipulating the inside of a human body. It was difficult to resist. I mean, they were really intense, toe-curling, eye-crossing orgasms."

Wedy choked and spewed her coffee halfway across the room. She took in a huge gasp and choked again. Mogi came over to her and thumped her back. After a series of strained gasps, her breathing went back to normal and she refilled her coffee cup.

Matsuda said, "Then... then... is that how you fell out of your chair?"

"Yes," L said calmly, as if he were talking about the weather. "Rem needed a way of getting me on the floor so she could attack my neck without being seen."

Matsuda continued, "And... Misa-Misa... she..."

L said, "Apparently, she's been with two shinigami in a sexual way."

Another tremendous choking sound came from Wedy, and thick black coffee poured from her nose. She went into a coughing and sneezing fit, taking plenty of napkins to wipe her face. Then she began walking briskly toward the elevator, probably to seek out the bathroom and clean up for real.

Rem decided not to clarify about Misa. She wasn't going to say they hadn't really done anything and that Jealous had never even been in the same room with Misa. Talking about her relationship with Misa was painful, Jealous even more so, and these humans already knew too many private details.

Besides, Rem thought, it was all the same anyway. She'd always been a spectator, never a participant. From her perspective, what she'd done with L and what she'd done with Misa were completely equivalent. Sexual things were merely something to watch.

Matsuda looked up at the monitor that showed Light sitting on a cot in his cell. He said, "And Light too?"

L said, "I set a test for him to see if he knew about that sort of thing, and he failed it. So, unless he was acting, he hasn't done anything sexual with a shinigami."

Mogi said, "Matsuda, this is really too much information. Stop asking him about it."

Matsuda blushed, went back to the food cart, picked up a doughnut and began nervously nibbling it.

Aizawa looked up at the monitors showing Light, Misa and Soichiro in their respective cells. He sighed in an extremely tired way and said, "This looks all too familiar. We're back to watching the three of them in captivity."

"Yes," L said, "but this time, we know two of them are Kira, and we also know things will be resolved one way or another within a week. Now, we just need to create a plan to find that second notebook."

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

I really enjoyed freaking out everyone in this chapter, but I especially enjoyed it with Wedy.

Poor Wedy! Fanfics mostly ignore her, but I think she has great potential as a character. If only she'd been shown in canon a little more, perhaps fanfic writers would have more to work with.


	16. In Love

CHAPTER 16: IN LOVE

L had thought they'd need some elaborate plan to extract the hidden location of the second death note from Light and Misa, but the solution turned out to be surprisingly simple. Rem remembered where that death note had originally been buried before Light had sent her to Higuchi, and when they checked the location, they discovered Misa had just re-used the same hiding place. When it was dug up, L made sure he was the only one who touched it, and then he burned it. This proved false the rule that said humans who had touched the death note would die if it were destroyed, and it would also keep Ryuk from having an extra death note to give to a human. If Ryuk ever did manage to get another death note, it would probably take years.

When the team returned to headquarters, all of Misa's memories concerning shinigami and death notes were gone, so she was let out of her cell and put back in her suite of rooms where she had lived before, under constant watch. She would not be allowed to leave the building until Light died, and by that time she would have a manager and a bunch of bodyguards who were all L's employees, watching over her to prevent self-harm until an incident could be staged to justify putting her in an insane asylum.

Rem was immensely relieved that Misa no longer hated her. Should she ever reintroduce herself to Misa? Rem couldn't decide if it was a good idea or not, so she waited and did nothing. Still, she found herself sneaking up to Misa's rooms frequently and watching the girl go about her daily activities. Misa had no idea Light was about to die, and she seemed immensely bored most of the time, reading endless magazines delivered to her room by Matsuda, and spending hours working on her hair and nails. Even though Misa was bored and cut off from Light, she was mildly happy, though, because she'd been told that all Kira suspicions had been lifted from both of them, and that she'd be set completely free in a few days.

A thorough search of Misa's apartment and every place she frequented failed to turn up any death note scraps. There were probably some scraps hidden out there in weird places, but without her memory Misa would never access them, and anyone who found them by accident would be extremely unlikely to write down any names on them. At worst, there would just be a few random people out there who were capable of seeing Ryuk, but they'd probably never realize that.

As the end of the week drew closer, it became clear there wasn't any additional Kira. Soichiro was looking worse and worse in his holding cell. L had taken to having frequent long talks with him in an effort to cheer him up and convince him that committing suicide because of his son being Kira was the wrong action to take. L's attempts at emotional rapport were awkward. He obviously felt sorry for Soichiro, but he didn't know what to say. L finally fell back on his strong point, logic, arguing that if Light died just as the Kira killings stopped and then Soichiro committed suicide, it might lead someone to suspect that Light had been Kira and thus end with the torture of Soichiro's wife and daughter. That idea, along with the argument that losing both a father and a brother/son would be too difficult a burden for the surviving family members, seemed to convince Soichiro not to kill himself. Still, the man was miserable beyond belief.

Finally, on the sixth day, Ryuk said, "I kind of expected Light to hatch a brilliant plan to escape, but it looks like it isn't happening. I'll kill him tomorrow night unless he gets himself out before then."

L was able to bribe Ryuk with a lot of apples to get him to agree that he'd write down a painless cause of death for Light instead of heart failure. Aizawa and Mogi accused L of being deliberately soft on his friend, but L explained that it was important to make Light's death seem as unrelated to Kira as possible, and that all civilized nations which used the death penalty tried their best to have painless executions.

Once that had been arranged, L pressed the button on the microphone that connected to Soichiro's cell and said, "Chief Yagami, I have a proposal for you. It will only work if both you and Light agree to it, and I'm asking you first. I do not know if this would be a good idea or not. It might make things much better and allow some closure for you and your family, or it might make things even more painful. I will let you decide what is best for yourself, your daughter and your wife."

Soichiro looked up at the camera, his face a mixture of stress, concern and hope. He said, "What is it?"

L said, "Ryuk has said he will kill Light with a painless death tomorrow night. I propose to ask Light to return ownership back to Rem, erasing his memories. It would render him harmless even if he does have notebook scraps hidden somewhere. Then, you could take him home, and he'd have a day and a half to say goodbye to his family, as a normal person rather than as Kira."

Soichiro mopped his brow with his sleeve. He appeared deep in thought for several minutes, pacing nervously. Finally, Soichiro said, "He would be as he was before he found the notebook?"

"Yes," L said, "although he will remember everything that doesn't relate directly to the notebooks or shinigami, so he might be very confused and scared, and if he thinks about recent events much he'll probably suspect himself of being Kira. If both of you decide to follow this plan, it might end up being even more painful than letting him die alone in his cell. But, it also might help you and your family."

Soichiro began sobbing. He said, "I... maybe it makes me a bad person... but I love him. I still love him even though he's killed thousands. I want my son back, even if it's just for a day and it's all an illusion. His mother and his sister... they deserve to see him one last time."

L said, "I understand. I will approach Light with this plan."

Then L turned off the microphone, spun his chair around to face the other investigators, and said, "As we discussed before, anyone who touches an unowned notebook can be forced into one murder, as well as having their memories tampered with. Nobody should touch the notebook."

Then L jumped from his chair, put his hands in his pockets, and started walking toward the elevator. He was obviously going to visit Light in person. Rem and Ryuk both followed. Light's cell was at the end of a long hallway in one of the basements. Light was sitting on a very simple cot, little more than a big shelf padded with cloth. His feet were on the floor and his hands resting lightly on his knees. The look in his eyes was defiant. He said nothing as L crouched on the floor a few feet on the other side of the bars. L wrapped his arms around his knees and gazed at the floor. He looked vulnerable and child-like.

In a very soft voice, L said, "Light, Ryuk will kill you tomorrow night in a painless way."

Light sneered and said, "Did you come here to gloat? Is that it, L?"

L's head snapped upward. "No, I came here because your father wants something. He would like you to give up your memories and go home to spend the rest of your life with your family."

An evil little smile spread across Light's face. He said, "I haven't lost yet, L. I have a plan. As soon as this perverted, cheating shinigami realizes how much she's hurting Misa, she'll bring my death note here, and with my plan I'll kill everyone and free myself and Misa."

L said, "Don't you think I've taken precautions against that? If anything even slightly like that begins to happen, Watari can kill you by pressing a button. Those things that look like vents are actually release points for poison darts."

Light laughed. He said, "Even if that isn't a bluff, I've planned my way around worse obstacles."

Ryuk chuckled and said, "This is what I like about Light. He keeps things interesting. I wonder if he can pull this one off?"

Light's voice took on a purring quality as he said, "Of course I'll pull this one off. I know exactly how much Rem loves Misa. Rem, I'm sure no matter what deal you've made the investigators will never let Misa go, and without me, Misa will never be happy. She'll probably even kill herself. Is that what you want to happen?"

Rem said, "Light Yagami, the investigators will put Misa in a situation where she'll be happier and safer than she ever would have been with you. You are a vile human being. Do not think that you can manipulate me."

Light glanced at L and said, "It's him, isn't it? You've fallen in love with him, haven't you? Rem, you can't be in love with Misa and L at the same time. Misa is going to get hurt, and your regret will eat you up. Just think for once, Rem. Stop being stupid."

Rem looked down at L and thought about Light's words. Light was correct, in a way. Misa was going to get hurt, but Rem had already decided that Misa was on such a path of destruction that there wasn't any happy ending in sight. Rem had merely tried to pick the least hurtful path. If Rem had been able to put any trust in Light, things might have turned out differently. But, even so, Rem realized that her growing attachment to L had also been a big factor in her decision. After all, she hadn't had any guarantee that she would be able to get a good deal for Misa as had actually happened. The entire attempt to make a deal with L had been an enormous gamble. But, L was so nice to be with, and Rem felt so protective of him. As time went on, he seemed increasingly attractive. His unique appearance and all his little habits were enormously endearing. Rem loved to watch him eating and rearranging his food, with his dark eyes so very thoughtful, and the things he said were always interesting. As Rem pondered, she recognized the feeling swelling within her.

"Yes," she said, "I'm in love with Ryuzaki."

L startled, looking for a moment as if he might fall sideways from his crouch on the floor. He cocked his head to the side at looked up at Rem, his eyes wide and shiny, swimming with curiosity. He said, "I do enjoy your company, Rem. I suppose this means you'll stay around after your connection with Light has been severed?"

"Yes," Rem said, "since there is nothing for me in the shinigami realm, I will probably divide my time between yourself and Misa once Light dies."

L smiled warmly and said, "My soreness from our marathon session a week ago has faded and I'm starting to get horny again. Why don't we engage in activities tonight?"

Ryuk snorted and said, "Don't be gross! You two can talk in private about these things, can't you?"

Light said, "Rem, L isn't in love with you. Despite what Misa says about love at first sight, humans don't fall in love during anything like the short time span you've known L. He's pretending to return your affection in order to manipulate you. He knows my plan could work and he's trying to block it by making sure you're fully seduced. Don't betray Misa for this guy's lies. If you look deep within, you'll know I'm right."

Rem looked at L, and he gazed back. His expression was the same as it often was, deep, intelligent and unreadable. As Rem gazed into his mirror-black eyes, she did think she could almost see the wheels turning inside his brain. L was certainly thinking, planning, calculating. The emotions he had shown to her could indeed be part of a scheme. Rem was sure L felt something toward her, but it was impossible to say what he felt. In his eyes, Rem was probably little more than a curiosity.

L said, "I never claimed to be in love with Rem. But, Rem seems to enjoy what we have and I get pleasure from it as well."

Light growled, "L, you are some kind of incredibly sick pervert!"

L put a finger to his lip and tilted his head up to look at the ceiling. "I didn't used to think I was a pervert, but I guess the evidence speaks for itself."

Light lunged forward in one swift movement, slamming himself against the bars and reaching between the bars with his arms toward L. His straining fingers stopped a few inches shy of L's knees. Light was breathing heavily and a single trickle of sweat made its way slowly down his face. Light said, "How can you always be so calm about everything? How? You did come here to gloat, didn't you, you bastard!"

L unfolded his body from its crouch on the floor, rising up into his characteristic standing slouch. He said, "Now that we're done discussing the details of my love life, it is time to get back to the real issue. It is clear the shinigami isn't going to help you, plus Misa no longer has her memories or the eyes, and every possible plan you might use has already been blocked. The only choice you still have is whether you want to die here alone with your memories or die with your family without your memories. Think about your father's feelings. Think about what it would mean to your mother and sister."

Light slumped down, his arms still stretched out, sticking through the bars. He said, "You lie, L. I understand shinigami psychology much better than you do. Rem will help me, and you'll die. You can't trick me into losing by appealing to my sympathy for Dad, Mom and Sayu."

L stared at Light, the look in his round dark eyes intense and forceful. He said, "Why would I try to trick you with a scheme like this when I could forcibly erase your memories at any time? I could burn your notebook, and then you'd be harmless and you'd have no chance of getting your memories back. I already burned Misa's notebook, so I know it's safe to destroy yours."

Light's lip curled into a snarling position and he said, "Go fuck yourself, L. Or, go fuck your shinigami. I've already gotten myself out of worse situations than this. My plan will work, and then I'll be the one gloating over you. Rem will become more and more anxious about Misa as my time draws near. Rem will crack. I don't need to do anything. The situation itself will wear her down."

L said, "I was afraid you'd say something like that."

Then L was walking away, past several empty cells identical in design to Light's, with Rem and Ryuk trailing after him. Just as L opened the door at the end of the short hallway, he turned around and said, "We will be listening to you upstairs. The schedule has at least one investigator listening at all times. If you change your mind before your time runs out, I will try to get you together with your family immediately. Do think about your father's wishes, Light. I hate to see him in this much pain, and I hope you hate it too."

L slipped through the door and closed it behind him just as Light started shouting something unintelligible in angry tones. It sounded like it was mostly obscenities but the door closed too quickly to really hear it, and then it was just a muffled ranting on the other side. L was now in a much wider hallway. He walked down it a little distance and opened a door, going into a small hallway much like the one Light had been on, except that there were only two cells, and they were both larger and nicer, with attached private bathrooms. Soichiro was sitting on a folding chair in one cell.

L slowed as he caught sight of Soichiro, and looked almost ashamed. He walked until he was standing right in front of the bars and then dropped into a crouch.

L said, "I thought I would tell you this in person. Your son refused. He is still deluded into thinking he can escape. However, if you judge it to be a good idea, I can burn the notebook to force him to lose his memories and then you can take him home."

"No," Rem said, "if Midora is right, Light's death note belongs to Sidoh. Even if I tell the shinigami king that Sidoh's death note has been destroyed, there is a good chance he won't be allowed to get a new one. There are so few of us left that I cannot allow my inaction to cause a shinigami's death. Especially not Sidoh. He is imaginative and gentle."

L said, "You are set on this idea, Rem?"

"Yes. I will find something unpleasant to do if that death note is burned. I wish to return it to the shinigami realm."

Soichiro said, "You tried, Ryuzaki. I appreciate your efforts. This aspect of crime management is not something you are used to facing. As L, you just hand the criminals over and don't have to deal with them from then on."

"That is true," L replied, "and I am not sure of my judgment in these matters. My suggestion to you may have been a bad idea. I will leave you in peace."

With that, L returned upstairs to the main investigation room. There was a more relaxed atmosphere among the investigators, since the case had been solved and Misa's death note had been found and there was really nothing to do except keep watch over Light and Misa. Light was silent in his cell and mostly kept still, his eyes full of plans, often staring directly into the camera lens, his gaze seeming to lock onto Rem and penetrate her, mocking, pushing, trying to make her doubt her chosen path.

Despite the lower stress level among his co-workers, L seemed to be moping somewhat. He was like a child in so many ways, and from his own description of his isolated life, it seemed that perhaps he hadn't faced death so directly for some time. There were his parents' deaths, and the suicide of the almost-friend he'd vaguely mentioned, plus he must have encountered death in abstract ways countless times, through crime scene photos and reports. But perhaps he'd never gotten as close to a personal experience of death as he was now in Light's case.

L seemed distant and callous in some ways, but he was also very sensitive. Perhaps his distant manner and his sensitivity both came from being so sheltered. Rem remembered the investigators discussing how L had sat in a chair shaking when Ukita was killed by Misa, and then begged Aizawa in a voice broken with emotion to not rush off to his death as well.

As the hours went by, L consumed sweets at a much greater rate than Rem had ever seen before. He spent less time fiddling with his food and more time simply sucking it down, almost like a vacuum cleaner. He even had a few items of real food delivered to him amidst the mountain of sweets: a delicately charred slice of fish garnished with fruit slices and some kind of dark, leafy greens, a baked potato piled high with sour cream, and some kind of casserole containing rice and vegetables. He gobbled everything down with an intense ferocity, and gathered quite a few quizzical looks from the other investigators.

L's eating binge seemed to raise his spirits and he gradually became his old self, methodical and solid, sure of himself, focused and satisfied. He wasn't exactly cheerful, but it did seem his mind had drifted away from the morbid, complicated aspects of Light's death. He was even able to look up at the image of Light's cell on the monitor with his piercing dark eyes and not show the slightest hesitancy or sign of trouble.

By 3AM, the only other person in the main investigation room was Aizawa, tiredly monitoring a sleeping Light and Misa. L jumped up from his chair, looked at Rem and nodded sharply, then walked to the elevator. Rem waited a few moments so it wouldn't seem quite so obvious, but Aizawa really wasn't paying attention to anything behind him, so she quickly joined L on the elevator.

As soon as it started to rise, L said, "Rem, it is possible that I am using you. I want you to understand that so you don't get hurt. But, I was not lying when I said I enjoy being with you. It is more than the physical pleasure. I have never gotten along with humans very well, and you don't wear me down like most of them do. Also, since I never suspected anything like you existed before the Kira case, I am positively fascinated. My curiosity is drawing me in."

L's eyes were wide and child-like, and it did look as if their depths held a strong current of fascination and curiosity. He looked like a kid who had discovered something really neat and needed to explore it to its utmost.

Rem said, "I have harmed your reputation in front of the others. I see the disgusted looks they give you from time to time. Are you sure it is fine to continue our... relationship?"

L said, "They already know. Regardless of whether we continue or not, I'm sure they already think of me as the worst kind of non-criminal pervert that can exist. There really isn't any point in trying to change their opinions now."

As the elevator doors opened and they stepped out onto the fourteenth floor, Rem said, "Why did you admit your actions so easily when Light accused you? If you had lied, it would be less embarrassing."

L replied, "As a detective, I've often seen situations where people concealed sexual matters relating to a case in order to save themselves embarrassment. Sometimes these things turn out to be important in ways the participants never imagined, and it can greatly hamper an investigation. I hate it when that happens. I would be a hypocrite if I did the same. Plus, Light was trying to use that knowledge as a weapon against me. The best way to defuse that kind of situation is complete honesty. If I had lied, the truth may have come out later anyway, and in the meantime Light would have gained an edge over me."

Then L was walking into his bedroom and getting into various drawers and closets. He scampered about, his movements swift, giddy and excited. He seemed very much like a teenager in his attitude, body language and infectious excitement. Soon he had assembled an electric blanket, heat packs and a bottle of edible chocolate-flavored lube on the bed and was busily arranging pillows and peeling his clothing off. When L removed his boxers, Rem saw that he was already completely hard. He was getting used to this, learning to anticipate it.

L said, "What we did last time, with so many orgasms I lost count, we won't do that often. It was extremely satisfying and fulfilled my needs for days, but it also made me sore."

L arranged himself carefully on the electric blanket, then said, "Rem, I really do like what you do to me. I'm very glad you decided to stay. Are you ready?"

Rem nodded and began approaching the bed. She was in love, and she was about to make the man she loved very, very happy.

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

Rem is in love, and has admitted it.

And I think of L as the kind of person who is brutally honest, that is, whenever he isn't being a manipulative liar. When L tells the truth, he really doesn't hold back.


	17. Crack and Pairings

CHAPTER 17: CRACK AND PAIRINGS

Rem phased through the bed and came up behind and underneath L, so that she was sitting behind him, with her legs on either side of his legs, the warm fuzzy electric blanket shielding L from her ice-cold body. He was so tiny, cradled in her grasp. She positioned her head so she had a good view of his face, a very easy feat since she was so much taller than him. Then, she wrapped her legs around his to pin them, so that when he started bucking and thrashing he'd stay relatively in one place.

L was very erect already, his swollen need standing upright between his legs, and his breathing was speeding up. He squirted chocolate-flavored lubricant into his hand and reached out, grasping himself firmly in both hands. A little moan escaped his lips as he began to pump himself slowly and relentlessly. After a few moments he said, "Rem, stroke me with your cold hands, make me shiver."

Did he mean his nipples? Was it possible to stroke nipples? Then Rem remembered that L sometimes lightly drew fingernails up and down his torso, leaving goosebumps behind. She reached down with both hands and let her ice-cold fingertips lazily trail up his sides and stomach. Enormous fields of goosebumps were left in the wake of her fingers. L shivered and moaned, saying, "Yes, Rem, just like that."

He was still stroking his cock, with those slow, leisurely strokes that meant he wanted to draw out the pleasure, let it build slowly. With his penis covered with so much chocolate lubricant, it looked almost like a chocolate popsicle. And then, as Rem continued to stimulate L's goosebump-covered torso, L decided to treat that penis exactly like a popsicle and leaned over as far as he could, panting, his mouth opening. Rem could sense the tremendous strain in his body. It must be truly difficult for him to bend over so far.

But, he reached his goal, wrapping his tongue around the head of his penis and slurping the tip right into his mouth, sucking on it greedily, making sounds like mumbling and sobbing mixed all together, as if he were trying to talk but couldn't get any intelligible words out. L's mouth worked furiously on the little bit of his cock that he could get into his mouth as his hands continued to stroke the shaft. He was lapping, sucking, rolling his tongue around the outside in a circle and using his lips to pull that sensitive, swollen head in and out of his mouth repeatedly.

Then he sprang back, his penis popping free of his lips, gasping, leaning backwards into Rem as he continued pumping with his hands, speeding up a bit and also starting the first real thrashing and bucking of this session. Rem watched his face and saw that he was deeply into it now. The oral sex always seemed to put him into a stronger stage of arousal. His dark eyes held hardly any thoughts at all; he was giving himself over to instinct, to the demands of his body. His face and eyes were broadcasting his pleasure as he twitched and moaned, saying a few English obscenities in a soft, husky voice. L looked so alluring, staring up at Rem completely unashamed, his face glowing with excitement and lust.

Rem slowly drew her fingers upwards, across L's chest, and began to circle each nipple. The little buds were already hard, standing out, but they stiffened more. Then Rem grasped each nipple between a finger and a thumb and pinched just slightly. L let out a tremendous moan and his shoulders slammed backwards into Rem hard as he arched his back. Rem suspected that L's hips would have risen a considerable distance off the bed if she hadn't had his legs pinned so well.

L was really getting worked up now. Rem continued to fondle his nipples and watched him go through the progressive stages she was learning to be familiar with, each stage so beautiful, with the increasingly stronger physical movements, back arching, neck arching, erratic jerks of his entire frame, and the panting moans that became deeper in tone and more and more frequently punctuated by words such as "fuck" or "yes" or even, to Rem's immense delight, occasional uses of "Rem."

Rem smirked as she decided to try something new. There were many structures inside the human body associated with the sex organs. Rem kept one hand playing with L's nipple and made the other incorporeal, phasing it inside L's body and feeling around. As long as it was incorporeal, he couldn't feel her, but she could still feel him. She wanted to try touching something other than the prostate this time. She ran her fingers through and around the various structures, feeling how complex the different body parts were, and how many of them were now engorged, obviously part of the entire arousal process. Where the shaft of his penis was attached to his groin it actually went further in just a bit. There were parts of L's penis that L was unable to touch, but Rem could. Then, Rem felt up the shaft of the penis. The inside structure was very complicated, with many fluid-filled chambers. L was continuously pumping, his hands moving directly through hers. Rem curled her fingers around, placing each fingertip into one fluid-filled chamber and then solidifying just the tips. She gently moved them, stirring the fluid around.

That very instant L's eyes widened and he shuddered, saying, "Oh, Nnhhnnnn, Nnnnhhhh..." and trailing off into a low husky moan, his torso swaying slightly.

Rem slowed her stirring and L said, "Nnnnnhhh, so good, don't stop."

Rem speeded up her stirring motions and was rewarded by an extreme intensity flashing into L's face all at once. It was so beautiful, his panting, passionate face on the edge of orgasm, as his whole body shook and thrashed. His cheeks were inflamed, his head thrown back, his eyes lovely behind dark, wet lashes, tendrils of his black hair also wet and sticking to his forehead. Rem continued the nipple-fondling and the penis-stirring, experimenting with speeding and slowing the stirring, bringing L just to the edge of orgasm again and again while he continued to pump himself. She felt like she was a puppet master and she had L on her strings. She could pull any string and make him respond in such a lovely way, make him happy, make him turned on, make him want it so bad. She was excited to think of all the lovely experiences in store for L in the future, as she learned everything about his body and developed greater and greater skill in playing with him in ways that no human ever could.

L liked this, he liked the long sessions where the high intensity was reached, and then prolonged. He let Rem bring him to the edge of orgasm and then hold it off so many times, and his face was more and more radiant, every bit of his soul visible in those pleasure-filled eyes, his facial expressions so unguarded, so honest, saturated with mindless emotion, letting his body lead him where it wanted to go, instinct taking over with movements both rhythmic and erratic.

"Oh, God," L muttered, "Oh, God."

His voice was strained and slightly deeper, with a tone in it a bit like pain, a demanding need begging for release. He was still stroking himself so relentlessly.

He choked, "Nnnnnnhhh, Rem, make me... make me come."

A thrill went through Rem at those words. It was so nice to hear him saying her name when he was extremely aroused, asking her to give him pleasure. He was using her name a lot this time. Though, he did have a reason to try to secure her affections now; perhaps it was a ploy to be absolutely sure she'd never listen to Light. But, Rem didn't care. L might not know it, but he'd already won her over completely and without any remaining doubts. He was... so splendid... such an amazing human, especially compared to Misa. His little attempts at manipulation, if that's what they were, didn't sicken Rem at all. She'd seen a real manipulator, Light. L hadn't done anything to her even slightly like what that bastard Light had done. In order for Rem's opinion of L to change now, he'd have to do something such as going back on his word and killing Misa.

Rem grabbed a heat pack, readied it, and spread some lube on it. As soon as L saw Rem was ready, he let go of his penis and clenched his fingers in the bed sheets by his sides. Rem wrapped L's cock in the hot wetness of the heat pack and L let out a needy moan at the touch. Rem started stroking L's penis at a fast rate, squeezing hard. Then, still pumping, she phased one hand through his body, reaching for the prostate, finding it very engorged and swollen. She just barely brushed it with her solidified fingertips, a hint of a touch, and L's entire body began shuddering. She manipulated the prostate with the tiniest bit of pressure, so gentle, and L let out a series of "Ah, ah, ah" noises, rising in pitch, each louder than the last, and he was thrashing hard now, every muscle in his body clenching and unclenching, and then Rem felt, even through the heat pack, a tightening in his penis, growing slightly stiffer, everything drawing together.

With one last tremendously loud "Ah," L's entire body seized up, tense and rigid, and then he was crying out in a moaning scream, his back arching as he spurted and his entire frame shook. His face was intense and very beautiful. His mouth was especially pretty, the lips flushed and full. The eyes closed for a few moments but Rem didn't need to look into his eyes to read the pleasure, it was written all over his face, and Rem was getting lost in that face, in the intoxicating excitement of watching a human who was so extremely happy, this miracle of sexual bliss that was beyond the reach of any shinigami. He was still trembling and spurting, unloading an enormous amount of cum, perhaps because it had been about a week since last time. Then he cried out Rem's name, and she was so very glad to hear it coming from his lips in that moment of unguarded ecstasy.

That's when it happened, quite suddenly. Rem was looking at his face, and could see his name and lifespan floating above it. A crack appeared in the first letter of his name, in the L. Rem stared at that crack as the letters and numbers floated lazily above his head with their usual gentle drifting back-and-forth movement, like seaweed waving in a current. The crack was small, and it constantly wriggled and changed shape. L was still murmuring and trembling in Rem's arms, but her eyes were now on that crack. What did it mean? Rem focused on the crack as it worked its way across the first letter and disappeared. But then, it appeared in the second letter. Slowly, slowly, it worked itself across that as well, and made its way to the third letter.

Rem cuddled a happy, post-orgasmic L, something that would normally absorb all her focus, but this time almost her entire attention was taken up by that crack. It worked its way across all the letters of his name and numbers of his lifespan, and then began again at the first letter. Was this a permanent change? Rem thought hard. She'd never seen or heard of a crack in a name. Humans and shinigami both had names and lifespans floating above their heads, and nothing else did, but neither humans nor shinigami had cracks or any other kind of feature like that.

L now had a crack, but he'd never had one before. He'd developed the crack during his orgasm. It was obvious that bending the rule about sex between a human and a shinigami was changing L in some unknown way. Rem wrapped the electric blanket more closely around him and hugged him firmly as he sighed contently in her grasp. What was happening to L? Was she hurting him? Should she tell him about the crack? No, shinigami were forbidden to tell the things they saw with their shinigami vision to humans, and even though that would normally just apply to the name and lifespan, it might apply to the crack as well. It was possible that Rem might die if she told him about it. No, she couldn't risk it. She'd have to solve this mystery herself.

Rem looked down at the small, slender man in her arms, his face so peaceful, his hair spread out where he leaned back against her. L seemed incredibly fragile and Rem wanted to protect him. He looked up at her with dark eyes like glistening pools, so shiny, glowing with emotion.

Was there any love for her in that gaze? Rem thought there was a bit, perhaps just a bit. Light had told the truth. L wasn't in love, not yet. Perhaps he was in lust, perhaps he was attached to this kind of experience, perhaps he was fascinated by Rem, perhaps he did have some affection for her, but he wasn't in love. Rem didn't care, though. It was wonderful just to see him so happy. In the short time they'd known each other, L had already shown Rem a hundred times more affection than Misa ever had. It felt good. It felt awfully, awfully good.

But this might be the very last time Rem could help L achieve orgasmic bliss. If it was hurting him, she'd never do it again. He could masturbate, and she could watch without helping the process along in any way, just like she had with Misa. Misa never developed any cracks, so merely watching must be a safe bending of the rule. Rem needed to find out what was happening to L. Until she knew it was safe, she'd have to stop their sexual activities to protect him. If it wasn't so sad it would be hilarious, the idea that they still needed to worry about "safe sex" even though there was no danger of disease or pregnancy.

After a time, L came out of his limp post-orgasmic state and his usual busy thoughts were once again circulating in the depths of his eyes. He watched Rem carefully and then said, "Rem, what's wrong?"

Rem couldn't risk telling him, but he was too smart for her to say nothing. Rem decided to ask him about something else, a problem she'd been thinking about bringing up for some time.

"Ryuzaki," she said, "my species is going extinct and my world is dying. I also have the feeling that shinigami aren't supposed to behave the way that most do. I can't help but feel that we must have had a purpose or function at some point, but we lost it ages ago. I have never been able to figure anything out about it. I was wondering, as a detective, would you take the case? I could take you to the shinigami realm and let you see it for yourself."

L's eyes were dancing. He said, "That is the most fascinating thing I've heard in a long time. Yes, L will take the case."

Rem said, "Ryuzaki, you know I can't pay you."

L said, "You may not have realized this, but L always works for free, which is why he only takes interesting cases. I have other detective aliases, and one of them is known for being swayed by very large sums of money. That's the one who pays for L's expenditures."

They talked for about an hour, discussing all sorts of details about how L should go to the shinigami realm and what sort of investigations he planned once there. Rem was quite surprised at the many ideas L had already come up with. However, the trip couldn't happen until after the connection with Light was severed, because Rem didn't want to take both of them to the shinigami realm and also because Rem wasn't sure if she could fly and carry two people at once.

Eventually, the conversation faded and L went to sleep in a chair, slumped slightly to the side but otherwise in his characteristic crouch. Rem took this time to sneak away and search the building for Ryuk. She found him aimlessly drifting down a hallway on a floor that was empty and unused.

Rem said, "I need to ask you something where these humans can't hear."

She grew the bony spikes on her shoulders into long wings of leather and bone, then launched herself sideways, phasing through several walls and then gliding into the open outside, the air sharp and fresh, the view lit only by street lamps. She glanced behind her to see Ryuk emerge from the side of the investigation building. She continued then, plunging inside an adjoining building that was just offices. Most of the lights were dimmed. There were long rows of desks, nearly all empty at this hour, with just a handful of sleepy-looking workers who were pulling all-nighters. Rem already knew that this building had no cameras except at the entrances. No humans who could see her or Ryuk would ever eavesdrop on this conversation.

Rem said, "L Lawliet developed a crack tonight, a crack that slowly moves through his name and then his lifespan and then starts back at his name. Have you ever heard about something like this? Do you know what it means?"

Ryuk was pretty bug-eyed naturally, but his eyes got even wider at Rem's statement. He said, "I gotta see this" and turned to leave.

Rem caught his arm and said, "Do you know anything? Please! I want to know if I'm hurting him or not."

Ryuk turned back, looking more surprised than before. He said, "You did it to him? This is from that... thing you have with him? Well, I guess it must be a side effect of bending the rule. I'm just guessing, though. Never heard of a cracked name before."

Ryuk spread his wings, jumped into the air, and said, "I wonder if this will make things more interesting."

Rem followed behind Ryuk, entering L's bedroom on the fourteenth floor. L was still curled in the same chair, sleeping. Ryuk stood there and watched L's crack wriggling along as it moved through several cycles. Then he said, "This guy certainly does keep things interesting. I really wish the two of them could have been chasing each other for years. Well, tell me if anything new happens. It's about time for another apple."

With that, Ryuk abruptly flew away, and Rem was left there by herself, looking at the sleeping form of this man she had so strongly attached herself to, and his highly unusual crack, the very ominous-seeming crack, endlessly wriggling through its cycle above his head, while he knew nothing about it.

At 6AM, L woke up and went downstairs. Mogi was the one on duty. Mogi immediately looked up and said, "Light has been making certain requests, but I'm not sure if I should let him."

L pushed the button on the microphone that attached to Light's holding cell and said, "What would you like, Light? We can hear everything you say here."

Light looked into the camera and said, "I will die at the end of this day. I might decide to erase my memories and visit my family. You've promised my father to listen to me until I'm dead just in case I decide that, correct?"

L said, "That is correct. However, if you wait until an hour or less until your death it will probably be too late to reunite you with your family for even a brief time. It is best not to hesitate as I am not sure exactly when Ryuk will kill you."

"So then," Light said, "if you turned off the audio connection to my cell and stopped listening to me, you'd be thwarting my father's wishes for his dying son and you'd cause him great pain?"

L said, "That is true, but it is long past the time when you could talk your way out of your problems. I do not fear your words, no matter how abusive you might become."

Light smirked, and his eyes were very calculating. He didn't look at all worried. In fact, he looked about as happy as Rem had ever seen him. He obviously had a plan, and a lot of confidence.

Light said, "I want a mirror, a comb, some grooming products for the hair and face, and a suit exactly like the best one I have at home. I know you won't let me have the actual suit because you'll be afraid I've concealed a scrap of death note inside a hem or something, and if you rip it apart to search it, then it'll be ruined for wearing."

L said, "I can let you have all of those except the mirror. If you break it, you might use the shards for something. We will set up a mirror outside the bars of your cell, where you can't reach it or knock it over. May I ask why you're more concerned with looking your best than with visiting your family?"

Light's eyes flashed pure evil and he said, "Who says I won't decide to visit my family? And, either way, if I'm going to die, I need to look good."

L arranged for Watari to get all the items Light wanted, and Light had dressed himself immaculately before the rest of the investigators arrived, sitting on his cot with great posture, and every hair in place, looking like the best son a father could have. He exuded pure confidence and charm, but said nothing.

When the investigators had all assembled at 8AM, L carefully licked all the doughnut frosting from his fingers and wiped his damp fingers on the knees of his jeans, and then took a deep breath and spun his chair around so he faced the rest of the room. He said, "I have an announcement to make. There has been a change in my relationship with Rem. She is sort of my girlfriend."

Ryuk broke out into a chuckling fit that soon degraded into hearty guffaws that left him writhing on the floor. The investigators all looked shocked, but it was nothing like their shock had been when L had admitted he'd done sexual things with Rem. The worst was already over and they now expected weird things from L.

L waited for Ryuk to stop laughing, but soon gave up and continued, "I realize the rest of you don't have girlfriends or wives at work, and I want to keep a professional attitude about this in the workplace. I do not want the subject of our relationship to come up unless it is relevant to the case, and I would prefer it if you refer to Rem by name and do not use terms such as 'that thing' or any other degrading words."

Matsuda said, "Can we still call Rem a shinigami?"

"Of course," L said, "although if you say 'the shinigami' people might think you're talking about Ryuk, so perhaps you should call each of them by name."

Ryuk stopped laughing and said, "Idiot human," though he was looking at L, not Matsuda. In particular, he was looking at that crack floating about L's head.

_It's awfully ironic that he announces we've progressed to a "relationship" at the very moment that we are ceasing our sexual activities, perhaps forever. Did he feel the need to call me his "sort of girlfriend" because I told him I'm in love?_

L cleared his throat and said, "Well, we need to get back to the real issues for today. If Light will give up his memories, we'll send him and his father home. However, I think he has a new plan and he won't give up his memories unless that plan fails. Other than watching Light and Misa and continuing the planning for how we'll get Misa put in an insane asylum, there is nothing to do today, but please do not relax too much. We have no idea what Light might try."

Aizawa said, "And, afterwards?"

L picked up a frosting-laden doughnut, licked it, and said, "In theory, the members of this investigation team are secret, but Deputy Director Kitamura knows all the original members, everyone except Light, Aiber and Wedy. Plus, he believes that Watari and myself communicate with you only through computers instead of in person. Since we need to keep up the pretense that we haven't caught Kira, we should keep the investigation going for two or three months. At the end of that time period, we should formally cease the investigation and tell Deputy Director Kitamura that we believe the unknown second Kira took up the killings shortly after Higuchi's death but then committed suicide. We'll have to create a report and make sure it both sounds satisfying and covers all possible issues without actually revealing anything, but that should take only two or three days."

Mogi asked, "But, what will we actually do for those months?"

L said, "For this plan to succeed, you need to hide the fact that you are not working from everyone, so I suggest you don't spend your days at home unless you're a bachelor. As long as you're absolutely certain you won't get caught, I don't care where you go. If you do come here, I'll let you do whatever you want, and you can arrive late and leave early each day. That can be justified as a slowdown on the investigation since the deaths stopped and there's no new data."

Matsuda said, "So, we would just come here and play video games or something?"

L shrugged his shoulders.

Mogi said, "We'd be getting paid for doing nothing? While other cops work hard actually catching criminals? It seems very dishonest."

L said, "Concealing the truth about Kira is an important thing we're doing to help the world. If you want, during that time you can assist me with my next cases. Since the NPA is once again paying your salaries after Higuchi's death and it's not really fair of me to use your services for free, I'll pay you if you make that decision."

Matsuda jumped up and kicked his heels in the air, saying, "Yeah! Double pay! And, I still get to live here for free."

Over the next few hours, L occasionally spoke through the microphone to try to get Light to give up his memories, but Light always claimed he was still thinking it over. The investigators circulated around the investigation room, doing almost nothing work-related except watching Light and Misa, making idle chatter, bored and anxious at the same time. Then, at 11AM, Light said, "Rem, I want you to come here now. I have something very important to say."

L glanced back at Rem, but Rem said, "I'm not going there."

L pressed the button on the microphone and said, "Rem says she won't go."

Light smiled and said, "Then, Rem _is_ in that room. Rem, I'll say this to you right now. You have one hour, until noon, to bring me my death note. If you refuse, I will be forced into a different plan that is less happy for Misa, and I will succeed. My plan will free myself and Misa and leave everyone dead except Watari and one other person. It requires the tiniest bit of help from Ryuk, but it's really minor stuff and I think he'll help just for the amusement of seeing me kill so many people without using a death note or a scrap from one."

Ryuk said, "Ha! That would be impressive. If he really can pull that off, I might help him."

Ryuk sank through the floor, and shortly afterwards could be seen on the monitor in Light's cell. Ryuk said, "This is so interesting. How are you going to do it, Light?"

Light said, "L already gave me the key to my plan. I know L. He's soft-hearted, and he worries a lot about my father. He won't go back on his word. He's determined to get me to erase my memories and visit my family, and he won't give up as long as there's still a chance I might do that. L will keep the audio connection open, and I'm going to talk my way out of this, using my charm, good looks and intelligence. And my plan will work even though they can see it coming. It's just that kind of plan."

L pressed the button on the microphone that piped his voice into the cell and said, "Ryuk, it is most likely that Light is lying in order to put pressure on Rem. His use of an ultimatum, at noon, strengthens this possibility. If Light is not bluffing, then he is probably insane. More insane than usual, I mean."

Ryuk cocked his head to the side and said, "I don't know, Light. Ryuzaki has a point. You probably are bluffing. Plus, I really don't like taking sides."

Light smiled and said, "But, if I can kill so many of them from inside my cell without using the power of the death note, that would be entertaining enough for you to do one or two minor things for me, right?"

"Absolutely!"

"First," Light said, "I need you to look inside all the vent-like openings near my cell and tell me if there are darts inside."

Ryuk poked his head partway through the wall and said, "Absolutely."

"I suspect," Light said, "that those are tranquilizer darts instead of lethal darts, but either way is no good. I need you to destroy all these mechanisms so they can't be fired."

Ryuk scratched his neck and said, "Seems like a lot of work. You sure you can't do this yourself?"

"Do you want to see the greatest entertainment of your life or not, Ryuk?"

Ryuk muttered, "Okay, okay" and went around thrusting his hand through the walls into the vents, producing crushing noises.

Light said, "Then, if Rem doesn't succumb and I use my other plan, I can't get Watari so I'll need you to incapacitate him, but don't do it now, do it the moment people start dying."

Ryuk said, "Light, I don't kill people for you."

Light said, "I didn't say to kill Watari. Do that neck trick Rem used, or push him into a closet and lock it after stealing his cellphone, I don't care. I just need enough time for myself and Misa to exit the building."

"Rem takes too many risks," Ryuk said, "and that neck thing could have broken a rule and killed her. But, yeah, I can grab his cellphone and throw him in a closet. But you'd better deliver."

"You'll see the people start to die," Light said, "and then you can act. I wouldn't ask you to do it any sooner. That would be pointless."

Rem waited, confident in her decision to betray Light. If she brought him a death note now, it would just be asking for trouble of all kinds, trouble for L, for Misa, and for herself. Light's super-confidence today had to be an act to put pressure on her, right? He couldn't be serious about talking his way out of the situation and killing most of the investigators from inside his cell. That was beyond ridiculous.

Besides, even if by some crazy chance it worked, how did he expect to escape with Watari locked in a closet and one other investigator still alive? And, who would that investigator be? Still, his unshakable belief in himself did make her a bit nervous. Could he really do it? Or, was it just insanity, the last desperate move of a man who always refused to believe he'd lost?

When noon came, Light said, "Well, I guess L did fuck Rem into complete submission. Now it's time for the backup plan. Or, rather, it is a bunch of backup plans that all interlock. It's a confession of sorts too, and I'm sure you're quite curious to see what my plan is. Just listen and I'll tell you all of it."

Light stood up in front of the camera and went into a subtle pose, as if he were about to speak at a podium in front of a large group. His hair and suit were all quite perfect, and he looked like a beautiful young man heading for a bright future, not a mass-murderer imprisoned in a cell.

Then, Light launched into an impassioned, complicated speech. It was directed at L. He spoke of their friendship and went into great detail about all the ways they got along and had so many traits in common. He talked about the way their investigation styles synched so perfectly when investigating the Yotsuba Kira, and how he'd always planned to become a detective, and how he knew that L had judged he'd make a detective equally as good as L. He played up the idea that he was L's only friend, and he described a fantasy of their future together as a detective team who were also best friends, traveling the world and solving cases.

The death note was part of this future. Light described a number of ways in which the death note could be used to ferret out criminals and destroy organized crime, used only to punish the unquestionably guilty who were also free and therefore a menace to society, unlike the Kira killings which mainly targeted known criminals who had already been caught. Light described how, in the course of killing these free criminals, their actions could be controlled in order to expose entire networks of crime, making them vulnerable to law enforcement. Some of the specific plans he described were really quite ingenious. By using the death note to destroy crime quickly, gather information, and get out of tight spots, L would be ten times the detective he was before, solving more cases, faster, and in incredibly spectacular ways. L would be living his dream to the utmost, with a great friend by his side.

Light insisted that he'd be no danger to L, because L would be the one who would keep the death note and hide it away from Light, and Light didn't know L's real name anyway. But, L would need Light, because Light knew things about the death note that even the shinigami didn't know, or if they did, they couldn't say without breaking the rules. Light had experimented over the course of killing thousands, and figured out all sorts of things that L would need to know. Plus, Light could be the one who actually wrote the names, under L's control and supervision of course, so that any unknown side effects of killing with the death note would only accrue to him, not to L, and so that L could keep his hands free of any guilt.

Light ended his little speech to L by saying, "And, all you need to do is kill the other investigators and let Misa and me go free."

Rem had watched L through Light's entire spiel. L had a look of disbelief on his face, as if he couldn't believe this was Light's supposedly spectacular plan. A couple of times during the friendship parts of the speech, L had looked distinctly uncomfortable, but it seemed the overall effect was nothing other than shock that Light would try something like this.

But then, Light was beginning his speech all over again. This time it was directed at Matsuda, and all the personal specifics had been tailored to Matsuda's dreams and desires. The death note was still part of this fantasy, but this time the two of them were detectives rising gradually through the ranks of the NPA, gathering status and respect to themselves as they rose.

Every dream Matsuda had would come true, every obstacle melt away. Light tapped into Matsuda's tendency to idolize him by painting himself as a big brother figure to Matsuda, someone who would spend time teaching Matsuda how to be popular, introducing him to the right people, and making sure that Matsuda would soon become the kind of person that nobody would ever call an idiot. Once again, Matsuda would need Light for the purpose of operating the death note properly and to keep his own hands blood-free, but Matsuda would be completely safe because Light would trust him to hide the death note wherever he wanted. Matsuda could get this perfect dream if he simply got out his gun and shot all the others. It was so simple.

The speech now turned to Aizawa, and it was much the same except it replaced the idolizing big-brother aspects with Aizawa's need to think of himself as a man and stop being afraid. Light knew that Aizawa was a battered, abused husband. His wife beat him, and he was so ashamed of himself, of never being a proper father, of never being home, that he didn't object to the way she treated him. He didn't try to defend himself. He just took it in shame, even when she cut him and bruised him. It seemed like Aizawa was too pitiful, he could never produce anything that would satisfy his wife.

But, with the power of the death note, he could have whatever he wanted. He could make her happy at last, he could have a job with lots of money and a high status but few hours, so he was home all the time, being a proper father. Light could show him exactly how to do it and, just as in the Matsuda speech, Aizawa would conceal the death note away from Light and be perfectly safe. Once again, Aizawa would need to kill the others. There was no other way to make that dream come true.

The speech repeated again with Mogi, with fewer personal details since it seemed Mogi never said much about himself, but Rem was still surprised at some of the insight Light showed into Mogi's psyche and some of the things he'd somehow found out. Then there were three more speeches aimed at the team members who weren't actually there, Soichiro, Aiber and Wedy. Light couldn't see the investigation room, and he couldn't hear it unless L pushed the microphone button, so he had no idea about the absence of those three. However, since L only needed the thief and conman for intermittent and rather specific jobs, Light should have suspected those two weren't present. Rem guessed that Light simply wanted to cover all possibilities and leave nothing to waste.

In the case of Light's own father, Light's speech emphasized the love of family, and he brought up a number of incidents from his childhood that sounded like precious memories of family togetherness. Light asked his father to believe he wasn't evil, that he was only doing what his father had taught him to do, and he spun two different fantasies. The first fantasy was sad and tragic, the Yagami family broken by the death of its bright son who'd had so much potential and good in him, while the father suffered horribly under the burden of the secret he carried, the marriage unraveled from the strain, and Sayu was sad and subdued, facing the world alone, no longer guided by her brother. The other fantasy was bright and hopeful. The family was back together, Light's future was on track, and everything got better and better. If Soichiro wanted the good fantasy, he just needed to kill the other investigators.

The speeches for Wedy and Aiber had few personal details, but they both had descriptions of a number of elaborate and quite ingenious ways that a death note could be used to become the ultimate thief or conman, as the case may be. Whatever Wedy or Aiber wanted, Light could get it for them. The price was merely the lives of their co-workers.

When Light got to the end of the speeches, Rem noticed the conspicuous absence of any speech directed at Watari. Why didn't Light try for Watari? Perhaps it was because he knew that L and Watari were a unit, and L was the decision-making part of that unit. If he could convince L to become his ally, L would take care of Watari one way or another, but if he could convince Watari to betray L, then L would put a stop to it. Thus, Watari was irrelevant.

L noticed the end had been reached as well, and he pressed the microphone button, saying, "If you wanted your plan to work, you should have picked the most likely victim and stuck with that one. The way you've done it thwarts your purpose because it makes you seem cheesy and insincere. You've already lost and you should spend your last few hours with your family. Think of your father."

Light looked defiantly up into the camera and said, "But, L, that's only round one. Rounds two and three are still coming."

Light waited for half an hour to see if anyone would take his offer, and then he licked his lips and said, "I guess it's time to sweeten the deal."

Light composed himself, subtly shifting his stance and his facial expression so that he had an almost sultry air about him. Then he said, "L, I'm not sure which way you swing, maybe both ways, but you and I know that when I held you in my arms while you were having an orgasm, you chose to hug me even though you thought I was trying to kill you. To me, that sounds like some pretty strong attraction. Let's cut to the chase. On top of everything else, I'm offering myself to you sexually. Dump the shinigami and take me, or keep her and we'll have delicious threesomes. I'm fine with it either way."

Everyone in the investigation room looked shocked, including L. L also looked slightly angry. Rem found it startling. L had always seemed so unfazeable, so completely calm. But the shock in L's face was quickly giving way to a kind of quiet, grim anger. The other investigators weren't so lucky. They looked like their dropped jaws were completely unhinged, never to return to the upright position.

Light continued, "Do you like Misa, L? Misa obeys me perfectly. If I told her to fuck you, with or without me, she'd do it. She's a beautiful young model, so don't say you aren't attracted to her. You even grabbed her butt when you were stealing her cellphone, and you seemed to like it when she kissed you. I could order Misa to do you any way you wanted. You could have her over and over again, or me, or both of us at once, with or without the shinigami. I wouldn't restrict your fantasies in the slightest."

That bastard Light! This was what he meant about a plan that wouldn't be so pleasant for Misa. Light was trying to whore out himself and Misa to facilitate his own escape. Rem looked at L, hoping that a Rem/Light/L threesome or a Light/Misa/L threesome held no appeal for him. Rem relaxed at what she saw. L did not look excited in the least. No, he'd never do that to Misa, and he was smart enough to know how dangerous Light was.

Next, Light addressed similar speeches to the rest of the investigators except for his father and Watari. Each speech was expertly tailored to the individual, mentioning all sorts of little things that had happened that Light had interpreted as a possible sexual attraction between whichever investigator he was addressing and himself or between the investigator and Misa.

If it weren't so wrong and terrifying, it would have been hilarious watching him offer himself so explicitly to Aizawa and Mogi. In the speech for Aizawa, Light made a particularly strong case for Aizawa'a attraction to Misa, and spun a fantasy of Misa as the perfect mistress for Aizawa, a cute little bubbly stress reliever for him to sneak away and fuck whenever his wife became unbearable. And, if Aizawa wanted, Light could be part of that deal in a lovely threesome, or Light could be the mistress himself, with no Misa involved.

In each case, Light explained the various activities that would be offered in lewd, explicit detail, including exact techniques of oral sex and anal sex that he and Misa supposedly knew. In the case of his speech for Wedy, who wasn't even present, after Light had finished describing the things he could do to Wedy himself, he launched into a very detailed erotic fantasy describing Misa using a strap-on dildo. Rem knew that all the Misa stuff, at least, was completely made up. Misa didn't know much about sex, and she'd only been with two men sexually before Light. Both of them had been short relationships, the longest being two months.

Through all the speeches, Light portrayed himself as the perfect young male specimen, utterly desirable, and Misa as the female counterpart to that. If someone would only accept his offer and kill the others, they could have incredible power and all their dreams come true, plus he'd throw in one or two excellent sexual partners, if they wanted. Rem was a bit surprised at Light including offers of both himself and Misa in every single speech. Didn't he have a reasonable idea of what sexual orientations each person had? Perhaps, though, it was just another case of Light over-planning, trying to cover every contingency. Or, maybe, he knew that everyone is bisexual deep down, even if just slightly, and he wanted to load his trap with as much bait as possible.

L got on the microphone and said, "Light, you do realize you've hit on all of us? Is that seriously your plan? You are being sick and it isn't going to work. Everyone knows you'll betray them the first chance you get."

Then, Light pulled his last big trick. It was time for round three.

Light looked directly into the camera with an evil little smirk and said, "All of you there have heard my plans. Each plan involves one of you killing the rest. I want each of you to look at your co-workers and think. Are you sure none of them will accept my offer? If one of them is thinking about betraying you and killing you, wouldn't it be best if you came to me first? You don't want to die just because you spent too much time thinking it over, do you? If you die here, today, it won't be for the purpose of defeating Kira, it will be to help your betrayer to join with Kira and establish Kira's reign once again. Why have a purposeless death when you could have power and greatness instead? If one of them is planning to kill you, it's just self-defense to strike first. You'd be saving your own life instead of throwing it away. Think about it. I'm not running out of time. You are."

There were a number of uneasy looks between all the men in the room except L. L merely paused in his work of balancing sugar cubes on the very edge of his coffee cup and said, "That arrogant bastard."

Rem recognized the genius of Light's plan. If Light managed to convince just one investigator to take his deal, he would win. Furthermore, even if none of them wanted to become Light's ally, any of them might get paranoid about the others and take Light's deal for that reason alone. It only took one. There was also yet a third way for Light's plan to work. Whoever shot first could trigger a bloodbath, perhaps leaving no survivors except Watari. Then Light wouldn't have to deal with his "ally" even briefly.

There was a thick, almost palpable tension in the room. L said nothing more, but the rest of the investigators tried to make small talk as the time went by. The small talk was exceptionally awkward, and it started and died out, started and died out in cycle after cycle. Light was quieter than before, but he did have occasional outbursts where he repeated his various offers and reminded the investigators that they were the ones in trouble, not Light. Light was the god of the new world, and gods did not get captured by the police and die in cells. Someone was going to side with Kira, and each man there had better hope it was himself and not one of the others.

Ryuk suddenly broke into an awkward silence by saying, "You know what's the most hilarious part of this whole thing? If it wasn't for Ryuzaki, there wouldn't be a Kira case at all."

L looked at Ryuk and said, "What do you mean?"

"Well," Ryuk said, "when Light got my death note, I was after a show. I was bored and wanted to be entertained. What did he do? He wrote names in it for hours each day. All he did was go to school, eat, sleep and kill people. It was like he was some kind of extreme workaholic shinigami. Light talked a lot about the new world he was creating, but I've never believed in it and I thought it would probably be boring. If I'd had to endure a few more months of that, I probably would have killed him and gone home."

Ryuk came closer to L and leaned down to look him at eye level. Ryuk continued, "But you challenged him and made it all into a show. How interesting. The police were no match for Light. They never had a chance to draw close to him like you did. I was always wondering what you'd do next, and what he would do to counter it. This duel between you two has been the best rush of excitement I've ever had. Kira by himself isn't worth keeping alive. It's only when he's fighting to survive, fooling everyone around him, that he's worth it. And, without you, he never would have landed in so much trouble to begin with."

"So," L said, "if I had refused to take this case or if I had abandoned it early on, Light would already be dead?"

Ryuk chuckled and said, "That's exactly right."

L peered into the depths of his coffee, took a sip, and said, "That is a very disturbing thought. I will keep this in mind if another Kira ever arises. Ryuk, if Light had succeeded in his recent plan to kill me, would you have killed him afterwards from boredom?"

Ryuk thought a moment and then said, "It's hard to say. Without you, Light would be a lot less fun. But by now I know the kind of entertainment he is capable of producing, and I also know he's left some clues behind because of your work to crack the case. If he had killed you, I probably would have waited a few years to see if anyone else pursued him, perhaps helped along by your clues. I would be especially likely to leave him alive if he had managed to kill you but at the same time he stayed a member of the investigation team. It would have been hilarious to see him pretending to chase Kira while being Kira right under the noses of his co-workers."

Ryuk went into a chuckling fit at the thought. When he recovered, he said, "But if Light had ever managed to completely shake off all pursuit and kill everyone who knew anything, and afterwards he just went back to doing nothing but writing names, yeah, I'd probably get bored and kill him after five years tops. There's no way he'd ever survive into old age as Kira unless he was pulling crazy stunts and fooling people on a regular basis."

L did not look pleased. The entire thing had been a show for a bored shinigami, and if L hadn't played into Ryuk's hands, countless victims would still be alive and there would be no Kira. Did he blame himself? There was no way he could have known. Even L couldn't think that many steps ahead with any accuracy.

Now, perhaps feeling guilty, and with time clearly running out for Light, L constantly watched the monitors showing Soichiro's cell. L was crouched in on himself a bit more than usual, his dark eyes mostly unreadable in that trademark expression of his, but showing traces of both sadness and regret. Nobody had told Soichiro about his son's offers, and Rem hoped the man would never find out. The thought of Light hitting on everybody was sickening, and the thought of him trying to use Misa's obedience to offer her as sexual bait was even more so.

Rem saw L's eyes widen in surprise and his head snap around at very the same moment Matsuda's voice said, "No!"

Rem turned to see a tense scene, Matsuda and Aizawa at opposite sides of the room, both with guns drawn and pointed at each other. Mogi was standing off to the side looking confused, but with his hand hovering just above his gun.

Matsuda said, "This isn't what it looks like. Aizawa was drawing his gun. I had to!"

Aizawa said, "No, Matsuda drew first. If you check the video, you'll see it."

L said, "You will both drop your guns at the count of three. One, two, three."

Both still held their guns in the same position, and they both started babbling at once about how the other guy was the one who refused to drop, so they of course had no choice when they saw him acting that way, but they weren't the ones who were trying anything.

L got out of his chair slowly and carefully, not with his usual cat-like jump, and began walking toward a spot midway between the two men. He walked a bit straighter than normal and seemed very alert, but perfectly calm at the same time.

As he walked he said, "When I assembled this investigation team, I told all of you that I trust you with my life. That is still true. When I reach the point where I am in a line of shot for both of you, you will put your guns away with no argument or fuss."

Rem felt an incredible alarm within her. What was L doing?

Rem said, "Matsuda, I love you!"

Matsuda said, "What?" and his gun arm drooped. Aizawa saw the drooping and he lowered his own gun at once.

Rem clarified, "But not in the same way as Ryuzaki."

Matsuda said, "Uh, thanks, Rem. I guess."

Both Matsuda and Aizawa put their guns away, looking sheepish and embarrassed.

"This was Light's doing," L said, "and there will be no accusing anyone else. I am completely convinced that both of you thought you drew at the same time. We will forgive each other and go back to work. This incident will not be brought up again, and we will never check the video."

And that is what they did. There was absolutely no talk about what had happened, and L even turned his back on the men as if he completely trusted them. He was no longer looking at Soichiro much; instead he became quite engaged in rearranging a bunch of small peppermint candies on the table in front of him. The atmosphere was still tense, but, strangely enough, the incident seemed to have calmed things quite a bit.

Finally, just a few minutes after 9PM, Ryuk stretched himself, sighed and said, "I guess it's pointless to wait any longer. I'm going downstairs and writing Light's name. I'd like him to see me in the act of writing it. That would be really entertaining."

L muttered, "Oh, God!" and rushed from the room.

Ryuk was going straight down through the floor, at a leisurely pace, but L was running for the elevator like mad. Rem looked from one to the other, trying to decide who to follow, and then went with L. When she phased through the elevator doors, she came into the shaft, as the elevator itself was already descending. Flying down and through the elevator ceiling, she just caught a glimpse of L as he ran out the opening elevator doors. What was he doing? Was he trying to stop Ryuk? Or perhaps he thought it would be sad for his friend to die utterly alone.

L and Rem both managed to get into the hallway that held Light's cell just as Ryuk was standing in front of the bars and taking out his death note. Light was screaming and ranting, telling Ryuk that his wonderful plan needed just a bit longer to work, but Ryuk was ignoring him, grinning, opening the book and getting out the pen.

Just as the pen touched the paper, L shouted, "If both of you do what I say, I'll get Ryuk bushels of the best, juiciest apples."

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

It took me one month to reach 17 chapters, which meant a chapter uploaded every two days.

I really do appreciate all the wonderful reviews I've gotten. I know many people would never even think of clicking on a Rem/L fic, but when they see the number of reviews sitting there, they give this fic a chance. Slowly, I am getting more readers visiting this fic. Thank you so much to all the reviewers who've made that possible.

I'm getting a lot of questions about the end. So far, this fic has only covered a couple of weeks of story-time, but soon the pace will speed up as more time gets covered. There are several major twists yet to come. If you want a few hints about what's coming, continue reading. Otherwise, skip the rest of this author's note.

Light is not done yet, not by far. He's got a semi-happy ending coming.

Misa is not done either, and she also has a semi-happy ending.

Rem and L will have a happy ending. Don't fear.

In future chapters I've got:

-stuff with the Yagami family

-stuff with Mello, Near and Matt

-a physical fight between L and Light with a surprise ending

-a wedding

-mafia guys

-a reveal of Rem's secret past

-a reveal of just what is going on with the crack in L's name

-sex in a tree

-a reveal of a Jealous/Misa secret that Rem never knew

-solving the case of what's wrong with the shinigami world

-Rem and L on a beach

-beheading with a chainsaw

-Watari tries to poison L (really?)

(Not necessarily in that order)


	18. Seeing Nu

CHAPTER 18: SEEING NU

Ryuk lifted his pen from the page and said, "What's the deal, Ryuzaki?"

L said, "I want Light to give up ownership right now. If he does that, I want you to give him more time, another day at least. If he refuses, kill him immediately."

Light was looking a bit scared now, but he was desperately trying to keep it under control.

Ryuk said, "You know I'm loose ever since you burned Misa's death note. I could get my own apples."

L said, "Yes, but they would be normal apples. I can get you a rare breed of apples that have been bred for extreme juiciness, apples of a sort that you won't find in any ordinary market or inside people's homes."

"Interesting," Ryuk said, "Light, what do you say?"

Light looked at the camera and said, "Now is the time to take my deal. Don't you want your dreams to come true, to have so much power to control people and events?"

Ryuk put his pen to the paper and started writing. Light screamed, "No!" and for the first time, his face showed extreme panic.

L said, "Give it up, Light."

Ryuk paused and said, "I've written your name. You'll die in forty seconds unless I write a cause."

L said, "You promised a painless death!"

Ryuk chuckled and said, "Okay, okay, I've got it."

Ryuk started writing again, and Light's face was a blind mask of panic. Light choked out, "Twenty-three days. Please! You're my friend, Ryuk, not his."

Ryuk said, "No. Give up your memories. Forty more seconds until the cause kicks in."

Fury and panic warred on Light's face. He wasn't trying to control his expression in the least now. He let out a couple of choked cries, then said, "Bastard!"

A few more seconds went by, and Light bowed his head in defeat. He said, "Rem, I give up ownership of the death note."

Ryuk was standing there just grinning like crazy. He wasn't writing details of death. L gave him an angry glare and started toward him, but Ryuk simply flipped his death note around and held it open so L could read it. Light's name was not in it. The last entry said, "Apples, apples, apples, apples."

Ryuk said, "It's a good thing I can't make plants go extinct by writing in this thing."

Light was pressed up against the bars of his cell, panting, his face flushed, his eyes looking confused, darting from side to side. As they moved, they only rested on L, flitting past both shinigami blindly.

Ryuk said, "You know, it was kind of nice to hear him call me his friend. If he hadn't always been so intent on trying to control me or ignore me, perhaps it would even be true."

Light said, "Ryuzaki? I'm... I'm confused. My heart is beating so fast. I think... I think I thought you were coming down here to kill me, but I can't remember why I thought that. Are you... are you taking me to my execution?"

L said, "No. I'm here to tell you that you'll be let go as soon as I make a few arrangements. You've been cleared of all Kira suspicions."

"But," Light said, "I don't know why, but I confessed, didn't I? Something was wrong with me at the time, because I'm not Kira, but... with everything that's happened, I don't know how you think I'm innocent. I even threatened to kill everyone and I..."

Light's eyes became downcast and an intensely red blush started at his neckline and moved up his entire face. "I... offered... those things... if people would kill and let me go."

L said, "Your father doesn't know of those offers. He will be happier if he never found out. You've been cleared because of reasons that are now classified. You are no longer a member of the investigation team, so you don't have the security clearance to be allowed access to that information. You were really too young for such a job, and you've been through enough."

Light said, "But, I want to catch Kira! I can't stand by, after everything he's done to me and my father. How could I just return to college after all this!"

L said, "Light, the decision has already been made, and it is final. Besides, do you think you could ever work alongside those people again after what you said today?"

Light's blush got even deeper and he whispered, "I guess not. I'm sorry, Ryuzaki."

L started to turn away, but Light said, "Wait!"

As L turned back expectantly, Light said, "I... I just need to know. You letting me go now, it's not because of... um... what I said to you, is it?"

L said, "No, I did not kill the others, and no, I'm not about to drag you away and make you my sex slave. As for Misa... I'm not interested in airheaded girls like her."

Then L left that little hallway, going out into the main hallway. As soon as the door closed behind him, he got out his cellphone and said, "Watari? I need those special apples. Yes. At least five bushels if you can get that many. And, make arrangements for transporting Light and his father home. Can you tell Chief Yagami the news? Excellent work. Okay."

He put the phone away, then turned to Ryuk and said, "How long does Light have?"

Ryuk said, "He'll die tomorrow night. But, he's not allowed to leave the building until those apples get here and prove to be every bit as good as you promised, or I'll kill him."

L nodded and said, "Very well, Ryuk. It should be about an hour, maybe less. Rem, I want you to take the notebook back to the shinigami realm as soon as possible. It is too much of a hazard to have around."

Rem nodded, grew out her wings, and went up through the ceiling, quickly finding the death note on a table in the main investigation room. As soon as she picked it up, she could feel the difference. It was no longer a part of the human world. Then she flew out and up, circling the building, gaining altitude. Soon she was high enough to see the city spread out beneath her, everything looking so tiny, so many lights, so much movement. Climbing more and more, exerting herself with hard flapping, she came at last to the level of the clouds. Just a bit further. She rose just high enough to see a cloud entirely underneath her, though more were still above her.

She flew higher toward them, and then suddenly it happened, the same thing that happened whenever a shinigami flew high enough in the human world. There was a disorienting moment where gravity suddenly flipped, she was falling upward, and the cloudscape was replaced by a gigantic ominous gray vortex enclosing her. The walls of the vortex looked like they were woven together from ragged bits of storm clouds, and there was a slight movement in those walls, like a tornado in slow motion. Rem let herself fall for a bit. After all, shinigami can't be injured by falls. Then, when she neared the bottom, she flapped her wings and glided in for a perfect landing on the top of the winding stone stairway that functioned as the launching-off point for shinigami traveling to the human world.

Rem descended the stairway into a cave, emerged, and then took to the air again, seeking out one of the places where shinigami tended to congregate. At the first place, a huge structure kind of like a rotting, half-collapsed building frame made of interlocking bones and chains, she found five shinigami, and all of them had flyers from Sidoh describing his plight. Flyers! Sidoh was full of surprises. But none of the shinigami there knew where Sidoh might be.

Then Rem decided to check the rock that Sidoh liked to sit on. She flew across a vast desert landscape under the ever-present low-hanging bank of gray fog, what passed as a sky in her world. Soon she saw Sidoh's rock, and he was sitting there. It was an excellent vantage point for looking across a wide valley filled with rocks like pillars twisted at torturous angles, surrounding a series of bowl-like depressions like dry lakes that were connected by long giant cracks running through the bedrock, each a few meters wide. Amongst the sand and bare rock, a few stunted trees and bushes grew, their wood gnarled, their branches twisted, and very few leaves on them.

Rem landed next to Sidoh and held out his death note. She said, "I brought this. Midora said it was probably yours."

Several of Sidoh's insect-like arms emerged from the folds of his long cloak and took the death note from Rem. He clacked his beak several times in excitement, caressing the book with his arms. He opened it and leafed through it. Then he said, "Thank you so much, Rem. I'm glad my flyers worked. Why did Ryuk need so much lifespan? And, why did he write fake rules in it?"

Rem said, "A human wrote those names, so Ryuk didn't gain any lifespan from them. The rules were written for the amusement of a human, but it ended badly. The human will die soon."

Sidoh said, "I have wanted to visit the human world and find Ryuk, but last time I went there, it was so scary. I was hoping someone else would solve my problem. You and Midora are kind to help me. Can I do anything for you, Rem?"

Rem thought. Sidoh was one of the older shinigami, so he'd seen a lot and he might know something about the crack in L's name. But, Sidoh was easily bullied by others and might let out the secret. Then, curious shinigami might use viewing portals to spy on Rem and see the human with the crack, and word could eventually get back to the king. Most shinigami rules were enforced automatically, without anyone needing to know you'd broken a rule. If you broke a rule that had death as a punishment, you'd simply die on the spot. The king was completely unpredictable, but he could get angry about bent rules. He might do something. Perhaps he would even hurt L. No, Rem needed the help of an old shinigami, but someone more dependable than Sidoh.

Rem said, "I only ask that you do not watch me when I'm in the human world."

"Oh," Sidoh said, "I can do that. Nobody's interested in the human world anyway, except you and Ryuk. There's been some talk about you and Ryuk being so weird, but I think Midora is the only one who bothered to do anything to find out about it. Even moving around within this world is so much trouble. It is hard to imagine how Midora found the willpower to go visit you."

Rem was satisfied. Yes, even with the gossip that was currently circulating and stirring up interest, shinigami were passive beings by nature and quite averse to watching the human world. Midora had probably completely satisfied her curiosity and exhausted herself, and the story she told the others would tend to quell their curiosity too. Ryuk would keep quiet about L's crack. In his own way, he was a rule-bender and a rebel, or he'd never have gotten a second death note, and he didn't want other rebel shinigami to get punished or killed. It might be many years until any shinigami other than Ryuk decided to watch Rem and happened to notice L's crack, and even then, it would take yet more years for word to filter back to the king, and the king might do absolutely nothing about it. But, there was still the problem of what the crack meant, of whether Rem was hurting L.

Rem knew her best option. It was Nu, the oldest shinigami other than the king. She would be more likely to know than Sidoh, and Rem had exactly the right bribe for her. Rem spread her wings and jumped into the air, gliding low, following the contours of the valley. Nu would be easy to find. She'd been in the same place for a thousand years. That was her pattern. She rarely killed humans, but when she did, she loaded up on a lot of lifespan all at once so she wouldn't need to move for a long time. She would go to a viewing portal, find a place with many humans, and take lives with "accidental death" written as a cause and a time of death a couple weeks into the future. Then, a tremendous misfortune would strike that area at the designated time: a tsunami, or an earthquake, or a landslide, or a particularly widespread wildfire. Nu never specified what kind of accidental death, but if a large enough number of humans were to die accidentally in the same area all at once, the law of probability would attract a likely cause.

Rem landed very gently next to Nu, trying to make no sound as her feet settled onto the sand. Nu hated sound bitterly, and even with the juicy bribe Rem had for her, Nu might become too antagonized to be helpful if Rem made sound. Nu was a pillar-shaped lump of flesh protruding from the sand, covered with monstrous eyes. Rem had never seen Nu in the process of moving, but she'd heard from others that at the bottom of her pillar, Nu had four tiny stumpy legs, like turtle legs, and that, like all shinigami, she could form wings and fly. They were vast, powerful wings, completely covered with eyes.

There was only one way to communicate with Nu without making her angry. Rem got out her death note and wrote, "I would like to ask for your help. I will tell you a story about immense regret I've suffered in return."

That was Nu's favorite thing. She loved it when others regretted something and she found out about it. Rem was sure Nu would be interested. Sure enough, one of the eyes near the ground began to sink backwards into Nu's body, and then suddenly disappeared with a gulping sound, leaving an empty eyehole. A dozen long, thin tendrils, sticky and narrow like frog's tongues, emerged from the eye socket and began digging in the sand near Nu, soon pulling up her death note and a pen. Nu wrote, "I am interested. What help do you need? Please be careful your pen doesn't make scratching noises."

Rem wrote, "When a human develops a crack that circulates through their name and lifespan, what does that mean? In particular, I need to know if it is harmful for the human and whether there is any way to reverse the process."

Nu wrote, "I have this information. Please tell me your tale of regret."

Rem wrote out the story of her time with Misa, of course not using any names since that would kill the people involved. She left out most things relating to L, particularly since they were happier, and concentrated on the worst things about her relationship with Misa, particularly the immense regret that she'd given a death note to Misa and that she'd ever done the eye trade with Misa. Rem dwelled on her sadness that she'd never found a way to help Misa much, except by betraying her at the end.

Even then, it was perhaps a case of too little, too late. Rem knew she should have found a way to force Misa to get help for her mental illness before she ever met Light. At least then, Misa would have had 14 years left. Now, Misa only had seven years, and, even if her mind was healed, it would probably take three or four years for therapy to get her to that point and she'd never be allowed to check out of the insane asylum anyway. Rem concentrated on the angst and regret, which wasn't at all difficult because the story of her relationship with Misa really was that way.

When Rem finished, a noise came from Nu, like a cross between a reptile's hiss and the sound of things frying in a pan. It was Nu's purr. Nu must be very pleased indeed in order to actually make a sound herself. Nu began writing furiously in her death note, and then showed what she'd written to Rem. It said, "This means a shinigami has bent the rule about sex between shinigami and humans. From your story, I assume it is you and the small human with black hair, and that you are in love with him. I do not know much about these cracks, but I do know that the process is irreversible once it starts. There is no way to stop it or cause it to slow or to speed up. However, the effects take long enough that the human may run out of lifespan without noticing them."

Rem wrote, "What are those effects?"

Nu wrote, "I do not remember. It seems, when I try to recall what I was told, that the effects were not harmful. I am very pleased. I will not betray your secret."

With that, Nu buried her death note and pen in the sand beside her once more. The long, wet tendrils rubbed against each other to dislodge sticking grains of sand, then withdrew into the eye socket. With a small slurping sound, the eye emerged from the depths of its hole, rotated a bit, and then finished settling into the socket. Everything was as before.

Rem flew away as quietly as she could, then, once she was a bit further from Nu, went back to heavy flapping, speeding through the air toward the portal to the human world. Rem was happy. Whatever she was doing to L, it sounded like it wasn't a bad thing. And, since any damage there might be had already been done and was irreversible, there was absolutely no reason to be celibate. Although, back when Nu had last seen humans, a thousand years ago and more, their usual lifespans had been very short. Those effects might be coming along before that many years. Rem hoped they would be good, and that L would not mind them.

When Rem arrived back in the investigation center, she was surprised to see Light still there. Had it really been less than an hour? But, no, he was free, he was just refusing to leave. Soichiro, Light and L were in an argument about two different things at once. Light still wanted a complete explanation of why he had been cleared, and Soichiro and L were still insisting that Light didn't have enough security clearance to access that information. Rem didn't blame them. It would be very difficult to come up with a good story that incorporated everything Light remembered and also cleared him of being Kira. If Light had been less intelligent, they might have tried that route, but Light was just too good at working things out. It was best to simply deny him the information rather than making up a story that would be sure to get punched full of holes.

The other thing they were arguing about was whether L should go home with Light on the family visit. L was trying to insist that he needed to stay with the investigation, but Light kept talking about how grateful he was that L had worked so hard to clear his name, and how they'd become such good friends but L never did anything social, and Light felt like he owed it to L, to show him a good time in a social atmosphere. After all, the Kira killings had stopped and L never rested at all, so he must need some kind of vacation and right now was the perfect time. It would be a grand celebration of Light and Misa being let free, and L ought to be there with his only friend. During the argument, Soichiro kept looking at the clock nervously.

Finally, L said, "If I do go home with you now, will you stop asking about the classified information you are not allowed to receive?"

Light thought for a few moments and said, "Yes."

Then the three of them were being ushered out of the building and at last getting into Watari's car. Rem trailed along, but both Soichiro and L made a point of not looking at her. A different vehicle held Light's stuff, which had already been packed and would be unloaded at his home without him needing to do anything. The whole purpose of this visit was for Light to not waste his last hours alive. Rem kept looking at Light, almost in disbelief, as she observed his behavior. This was so strange. Light was almost like a different person, though he did still have some of his arrogance, belligerence and other distinctive Kira-like personality traits. Yet, everything was subdued. His eyes were innocent and wide, his words were gentler, and it did not feel as if he were calculating all the time.

Just as Watari began to pull out of the underground parking garage, Ryuk flew down and landed on the car's roof. He said, "I wouldn't miss this. It's the last chance to see these two doing their thing. Though, it won't be the same without Light's memories."

When the two vehicles pulled up in front of the Yagami house, Light and Soichiro got out immediately and began approaching the front door, but it burst open before they could get there and Sayu ran out, squealing. She said, "Big brother!" and pounced on Light, wrapping him in a warm hug.

Sachiko Yagami came to the open front door and stood in the doorway smiling, her hands clasped in front of her, her eyes shining with love and concern as she looked at her husband. She walked toward him then, slowly and almost tiredly. When she reached him, her brow furrowed in concern as she looked him up and down. She sighed in a motherly way and said, "Dear, you look like you've aged five years in the last week. I'm sorry you had to work so much."

Soichiro gave her a quick peck on the cheek and then, suddenly overwhelmed by emotion, drew her in for a tight hug. Unseen by Sachiko, a tear trickled from one eye, but Soichiro quickly wiped it away. Aizawa and Matsuda were walking past, carrying Light's things. Aizawa looked pissed and averted his eyes from everyone else, but Matsuda caught Light's gaze as he went by, quickly turning beet red. He must be thinking of all the sexual things Light had offered to do to him. Matsuda coughed, looked away and hurried on.

Sayu drew back from her hug and said, "Light, so, this means Dad forgave you for moving in with Misa and you're on speaking terms again? Since you're moving back here, does that mean you dumped her? Or, did she dump you?"

Light said, "Things are complicated with Misa. I'm still her boyfriend, but I might break up with her soon."

Sayu said, "Oh, I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry."

Her gaze moved to L, standing off to the side in his usual slouch, wearing shoes for once, with the untied laces trailing along the ground.

"Oh, who's this?" Sayu said.

Light opened his mouth, but before Light could say anything, Sayu said, "Oh wait! I can recognize him from your description. This is your best friend from college, Hideki Ryuga, right? You finally coaxed him into a visit?"

L said, "Actually, my real name causes problems. I prefer to be called 'Ryuzaki'."

L nibbled on his thumb and looked nervously off to the side.

Sayu said, "I'm sure Light told you Hideki Ryuga is my favorite pop star! But you're nothing like him. You're so funny-looking!"

L dropped into a crouch and wrapped his arms around his knees. Sayu said, "Oh, look how shy he is! Don't worry, Ryuzaki, I think you're really cute in your own special way!"

Sayu leaned over and rubbed the top of L's head as if she were petting a dog.

L said, "I'm much too old for you, plus I already have a girlfriend."

Light glanced at L quizzically. Sayu crouched down so her face was at the same level as L's, but a couple of feet away. She said, "Tell me! What is she like?"

L looked up at Rem, who was standing behind Sayu, and said, "She's older than me, and taller."

Sayu said, "Oh, I wish she was here right now. You really should bring her next time! What does she look like?"

L shifted his feet uncomfortably and said, "I'm shy."

"Oh yeah," Sayu said, "I almost forgot. Light said you were a real paranoid recluse. He couldn't get you to go to a single party or say hardly anything about yourself. But, don't worry. You'll be safe and happy here."

Aizawa and Matsuda were going past in their third trip, laden down with yet more of Light's stuff. Sachiko said, "Let's not stand out here talking. I have a wonderful supper prepared inside."

Everyone went to the door, with L and Sachiko at the end of the line. Just as L was about to step inside, Sachiko stopped him. The door closed, leaving them alone on the front steps, and Sachiko said, "Ryuzaki, when you visited my husband in the hospital after his heart attack, you were part of the Kira investigation. Now you turn out to be the same man who has been friends with my son for so long. I know Light has always wanted to join the Kira investigation team. Tell me the truth, is Light part of the investigation?"

"He was," L said, "but he no longer has that job. It was my error to let someone so young join the team. I am the real reason your son dropped out of college. I am sorry."

Sachiko nodded, then opened the door, and the two of them went inside.

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

Light still has a plan, even though he's memory-less.

And he's tormenting L. L isn't used to dealing with social things, especially in painful circumstances.


	19. Home

CHAPTER 19: HOME

The meal with the Yagami family was very normal. Soichiro looked as if he were trying to pretend that everything was perfectly okay and he seemed to be mostly succeeding, while Sayu was incredibly happy and bubbly and Sachiko exuded a warm motherly charm. L completely ignored both shinigami, his gaze sweeping over them as if they weren't there at all, but Soichiro occasionally looked at Rem or Ryuk, staring and becoming a bit disturbed before he tore his gaze away and managed to re-enter his illusion of family bliss.

Ryuk did talk to Light a bit; idle one-way chatter Light was incapable of hearing. At one point, Ryuk said, "It's almost like old times being here again with you. I'm going to miss it. You know, Light, I didn't entirely fill up on Ryuzaki's extra-juicy apples and I really wish you could get one of those apples from the fruit bowl and sneak it away for me."

At that point, L got up from his chair, picked up an apple, and then slipped it into a cupboard when nobody was looking. Ryuk wasted no time in plunging his head and hand into that cupboard. Meanwhile, L had grabbed another apple, and bit into it to coincide with Ryuk's chewing noises, which were barely audible anyway since they were inside the cupboard.

L ate everything that was given to him, though he did fiddle with the real food a lot before finally consuming it, and he had extra helpings of dessert. Sayu made a lot of comments about L's sitting style, such as "Oh, Ryuzaki looks like a frog... but don't worry, I'm sure your girlfriend likes that. You're like a cute little kid!"

Sayu also tried to ply L with lots of questions about his life, but he was being very shy and hardly said anything. Was this shyness an act, just the easiest way to avoid answering questions? Rem knew L could be very confident and commanding when he wanted to be. Or maybe it was a way of not intruding on the last bit of family time that Light had. If L started talking about himself, even with a bunch of made-up facts, he could temporarily become the center of attention and that would partially defeat the purpose of sending Light home to visit with his family.

Light was looking a bit more calculating, his eyes sometimes getting narrowed and very thoughtful, but he was interacting with his family in a fairly normal way. Light was talking about all kinds of little topics as they came up, laughing and conversing, discussing the all-day outing they had planned for the next day. Light had insisted that L stay for a sleepover and then accompany the family the next morning on their trip.

L tried to protest a few times that he didn't feel like staying so long, but each time Light sent him a threatening glare, as if he would bring up the topic of why he'd been cleared as Kira. Light still had that newly innocent look he'd acquired with the loss of his memories, but every so often the manipulative expression of Kira came into his face, especially when he was looking at L. L didn't seem to notice or acknowledge those moments. He became more and more absorbed in arranging the food on his plate, until he wasn't eating at all anymore but just getting micro-helpings of food to add to the design on his plate, little dots of food in crisscrossing rows that gradually transitioned into a widening spiral.

Light's cellphone went off, and he removed it from his pocket. His face fell, and he said, "It's Misa."

Sayu said, "Light, don't give up! I think she's really cute and nice and it could work out wonderfully for you two."

Light sighed and flipped open the phone. As he began talking to Misa, it was soon clear that she wanted to go on a date. Light was barely able to convince her that it was already too late to start a date for that very evening, and then she changed her tactic and wanted to go on the family trip the next day.

L said, "Light, you've spent a lot of time with Misa the past few months, but your mother and sister didn't see you at all, or even receive a phone call. I think you owe your family one day to enjoy your return. You can always date her the day after that."

The day after, Light would be dead. This last bit of Light's life was being wasted on his own happiness, not on Misa's. Why did Light deserve time together with those he loved, but not Misa? There was also Misa's long-term happiness to consider. If Light died without seeing her one last time, without creating a single happy memory for her, would it burden her more? Would it make her mental illness that much more difficult to cure? Misa deserved some closure.

Rem stood directly behind Sayu and said, "Ryuzaki, you've gotten what you wanted for Soichiro. Don't I deserve the same for Misa? You should encourage this date. I could easily cause trouble if I'm denied, such as by following Sayu around and messing with her schoolwork so it looks like she's cheating."

Soichiro's face got a terrible look on it and Sachiko said, "What's wrong?"

Before Soichiro could say anything, L said, "Light, I think you should let Misa come on the family trip. However, you know how much she dominates your attention. You should have specific times worked out for when she arrives and leaves and stick to that schedule strictly, so that the rest of the time your family can enjoy you unhampered."

Light got a puzzled look on his face as he glanced back and forth from L to Soichiro. He had certainly noticed the extreme change in Soichiro's expression, and L's complete reversal in his advice, but couldn't see any reason for it. Then Soichiro said, "I agree with Ryuzaki. It is essential for Misa to come with us for part of the trip. I insist."

Light got an exasperated look on his face, but continued talking with Misa and arranged a date for the next day. As soon as he got off the phone, Sayu squealed excitedly and said, "Oh, I'm so glad Misa-Misa is coming! This is going to be a lot of fun. I just know you and her will work things out; you're both just so cute and right for each other. You probably moved in with her too quickly, and now that you're taking things slower, you can rekindle your relationship."

Light had a decidedly upset look on his face, something between frustration and shame. Sachiko said, "Sayu, you shouldn't push them. Sometimes things don't work out. Just give them the space and time they need and things will eventually sort themselves out the right way."

Sayu said, "Sorry, mother," and went back to eating, but her face was still excited.

Judging from Light's expression, he did not want Misa to intrude on his family time. And, he wasn't enthusiastic about the relationship in general. He never had been. Rem was worried about Light's earlier statements about the relationship not working out. What if he tried to break up with Misa during their date? That, along with dying right after, would be especially traumatic. It would be better if Misa believed that Light had died still loving her.

Rem said, "Ryuzaki and Soichiro, I am afraid Light might try to break up with Misa during that date. I would be very unhappy if that happened. Please try to find out if he's planning that and convince him to delay it so it never happens. I know of one fact you may be able to use to make him feel guilty and manipulate him. Light and Misa have had sex, and he was quite rough with her."

Soichiro suddenly choked as an expression of rage came into his face. He almost said something, but then managed to stop. Light was looking at his father, his eyes thoughtful and calculating. He knew something was going on.

Absently, as if he were talking to himself, L said, "I see. A father is probably better at those sorts of conversations."

Sayu said, "What?"

L ignored her and began to reach out to his plate with one long, graceful finger, swiping up a dot of food and licking it from his fingertip. He kept repeating the action until his plate was clean, then waited out the rest of the meal silently, with one thumb pressed to his lower lip.

After dinner, the family retired into the living room for television, conversation and eventually a card game. Ryuk kept drifting around behind people and reading out what cards they were holding. It flustered Soichiro every time, and he kept losing because he deliberately tried to do the opposite that he should do from the knowledge Ryuk had given him. L shamelessly cheated using Ryuk's information, and won nearly every game. When Sayu complimented L on his winning streak, he calmly said, "This game is almost entirely chance as long as you don't know your opponent's cards. Obviously, I'm cheating."

Light smiled at that and said, "Then, the real game is to figure out how you're cheating and catch you at it."

L said, "You never will."

Sachiko yawned and said, "It is getting rather late. You kids can stay up as long as you want, but I'm going to prepare a futon on the floor of Light's room for Ryuzaki, and then I'm going to bed."

As Sachiko got up, she turned her head away from the others and winked at Soichiro. Ten minutes later, Soichiro announced he was tired as well and left the game.

Light said, "Now that there are only three players, I'm sure I'll catch Ryuzaki cheating."

Sayu said, "You two were the only ones with perfect scores on the University entrance exams. Maybe you're equals and you'll never be able to catch each other."

"We'll see," Light said.

Rem was beginning to get bored with the game, and she had a pretty good idea of what Sachiko and Soichiro were probably doing. It was a lot more interesting, and she could easily sneak a peek with her eye-through-the-wall trick. Soichiro had never caught on to that trick the entire time she'd been using it. Rem went upstairs and carefully, carefully pushed an eye through the wall. Yes, they were doing exactly what she thought they were doing.

Their lovemaking was almost chaste. Everything was hidden under the blankets, with the blankets themselves pulled up to their necks. Their movements were rhythmic but slight, a rocking motion rather than vigorous thrusting, accompanied by a repetitive soft slapping sound. Both of them were vocalizing, but it didn't sound sexual. Their quiet noises were like the kind of approving mumbles that someone might make while eating a delicious meal.

Rem positioned herself so she could get a good view of both faces. Neither face looked very aroused, but both looked contented, a deep kind of comfort, born from long familiarity. These were two people who were so familiar with the activity they were doing that they got pleasure from it, but not excitement. Rem had seen this condition before in humans, mostly in couples who had been married for a long time. Sex had become fairly routine to these two, but it was still treasured, and it was still a tension-reliever.

Soichiro's face was almost completely drained of the stress that had marred it earlier. He was especially interested in nuzzling the side of his wife's head, breathing in the scent of her hair, and when he did he'd get an expression like someone who had just smelled the sweetest scent in the world. Sachiko's face had a very plain kind of contentment on it, never really varying much like her husband's face did. Though, after Rem had watched for about ten minutes, Sachiko suddenly turned her head to the side, her mouth opened, and her breath hitched as intense pleasure rippled across her face in two distinct waves. Soichiro gave a deep chuckle and speeded up his activity just slightly, and then, except for the speed adjustment, things went on just as they had before for several more minutes. At that time, Soichiro suddenly got a glimpse of Rem and let out a choked cry, rolling off his wife in one swift movement, but keeping hold on the blankets so that both of them were still covered up to their necks. Sachiko tried to sit up and said, "What's wrong?"

Soichiro pushed her back down, carefully pulling up the blankets to cover her nudity. He said, "I don't think I can, I'm just too tired. You already had yours, and that makes me happy. I just..."

He sent a piercing glare directly at Rem, and then continued, "...had the feeling like some pervert was watching us."

"I'm sorry you feel like that," Sachiko said, "perhaps I could use my mouth?"

Soichiro blushed and said, "Maybe later tonight, but not now."

Sachiko gave him a quick, almost motherly peck on the cheek and said, "You're so cute! You haven't blushed about these things in ages."

Rem quickly phased back through the wall, burning with shame. What had she been thinking? The man's son was Kira and about to die. He was under enough stress already. She should have left them alone, let them have their privacy. Rem was just too used to the idea that she wouldn't get caught watching. It simply hadn't occurred to her that Soichiro would notice, and then when he had, she'd been so surprised that she hadn't thought to leave until a few moments later. She resolved to never enter their bedroom again. Rem felt bad and guilty for what she had done, and she wanted some comfort herself. She wanted L.

She searched through most of the house, but did not find him anywhere, and the downstairs bathroom had the door open, so she could see there was nobody in it. That only left the upstairs bathroom. She knew L had told her to knock before entering bathrooms, so she knocked at the door. If it was someone else inside, it would just seem like a mysterious prank. L opened the door, a toothbrush in his mouth. Rem came in and L closed the door, continuing to brush his teeth. He had rinsed out his mouth with water and turned toward the door when Rem phased her hands through his shirt and began rubbing both nipples. L closed his eyes and moaned, then leaned back against the wall behind him. His breath became erratic as his nipples hardened.

L said, "We have to be quiet and fast."

Rem nodded. With her phasing trick, it was easy to stimulate him without removing any clothes. As long as the task force members weren't around, she could probably give him orgasms nearly anywhere, even in public. It was entirely possible that nobody would ever catch on, especially since L acted oddly all the time anyway.

Rem phased one hand through L's body, feeling his various internal structures, trying to decide what to stimulate. His penis was already half-hard, and a number of interior things, including the prostate, were starting to become engorged as well. L slid down the wall and so he was sitting on the floor. His eyes were already filled with a haze of lust, and his lips had become a flushed red-pink.

Rem found a place where she could solidify a fingertip within the swollen head of his penis, and began tickling it from the inside. L's hips buckled a little and he bit back a sound. His penis hardened fully into life, still enclosed entirely within his clothing. Rem phased several more fingertips into solidity inside fluid-filled chambers within the erection and began stirring the fluid around. She did it fast since L wasn't concerned with drawing out the experience this time. L started a deep moan but choked it off in the middle, trailing away in a series of quiet little pants.

"Ah," L gasped, "you're... nnnhhhh... going to spoil me for humans."

L was now developing an intense pink hue on the high points of his cheeks, and sweat was running down his forehead and over his face. He pounded one fist against the floor a couple of times, and then lifted it and wrapped that hand tightly across his mouth, so that the sounds he couldn't help making were now considerably muffled. If anyone who wasn't able to see Rem could watch this, it would look very odd, a fully-clothed L responding so strongly to an invisible sexual presence.

Rem could hear footsteps in the hallway outside. L uncovered his mouth just long enough to say, "Do it," and then pressed his hand back in place. Rem kept stirring at his penis with one hand, and phased the other hand through to solidify the fingertips where she could just slightly squeeze directly on the prostate. One little squeeze, and L was pushed over the top. Pleasure surged through his face and he fell forward onto the floor, flopping and twitching like a fish as a very loud "MMmmmmmppphhff" sound escaped around his tightly clamped hand. With one foot, he managed to kick a bunch of items off a low shelf, and they fell with a crashing sound.

The footsteps stopped immediately outside the bathroom door, and Sachiko's voice said, "Are you okay in there?"

L was still twitching a bit, looking incoherent. He removed the hand from his mouth to speak, and then stopped as he saw the palm was covered in blood. Sachiko opened the door just then, and looked down at L with an expression of pity. She said, "Oh, you poor thing! Did you fall?"

L nodded, and Sachiko helped the sweat-covered, flushed man to his feet, clicking her tongue in concern as she looked at his bloody hand. There was a kind of radiant glow in Sachiko's face, and Rem knew why. Neither of these two were aware that the other had recently had an orgasm. In a few instants, Sachiko was dabbing the wound with rubbing alcohol and had various tubes of ointment and a bandage ready. She looked carefully at the wound and said, "This really does look like a bite."

L said nothing, and Sachiko continued fussing over his wound until two different kinds of ointment had been put on it and it was all wrapped up. When she was done, she placed one hand against his forehead and said, "You're sweating so much, but I don't think you have a fever."

L said, "I have panic attacks. I'm sorry. Could I please take a shower now?"

"Of course," Sachiko said, and left.

L locked the bathroom door, stripped and stepped into the shower. He leaned his head against the shower wall, letting the water wash over him. He said, "What am I doing here? I'm just intruding. I'm not part of this family. Light isn't really my friend, even if he thinks so at the moment because of his supernatural memory loss. I should go home."

Rem said, "You are here because you feel like you owe him a little comfort in his last hours. Even those on death row get special treats, such as a spectacular last meal and visits from their family and friends."

L said, "Everything is so complicated between us. I don't want to feel this way. I wish I could just hate him. Then it would be simple."

L sighed and began rubbing soap over his body. He said, "This visit makes me think about the way it could have been between us if he'd never found that murderer's notebook. I'm sure he would have eventually become such a noteworthy detective that I would have had some sort of contact with him. Maybe we could have become friends then."

L's eyes became very deep and he spent some time watching the water endlessly swirling down the shower drain and disappearing. Then he ran a hand through his hair, sighed and said, "But that sort of thinking is just painful, and it makes me think of Light and Kira as two separate beings, which isn't true. He chose to become a mass-murderer, and if things had gone slightly differently, he would have killed me, along with his father and all the other investigation team members. And he would have done it without a second thought."

After the shower, L dressed in a clean set of the identical clothing he always had, there were never any pajamas for him, and went to Light's room. Light was sitting on his bed, wearing flannel pajamas. Without a word, L went straight to the futon on the floor and crouched in the middle of it, hugging his arms around his knees. His back was to Light. Immediately, Light got a calculating look in his eyes, and his stance became tense. Before Rem could shout a warning, Light had jumped from his bed, tackling L. The two became a tangled flurry of arms and legs, and then Light came out on top, straddling L beneath him, pinning L's wrists above his head.

L looked up with an angry expression and said, "What are you going to do? Molest me?"

Light said, "No! Will you stop it about that?"

Light shifted his position a bit, so that he could hold both of L's thin wrists with one hand, and then Light positioned his other hand in a fist, ready to punch L's face. Rem began moving forward, ready to pull Light off, but L looked directly at her, made a hiss, and shook his head, so she stopped.

Light said, "As I thought! Your arms aren't very strong, and when I've got you so you can't kick, you're helpless. Now, if you don't want me to beat the crap out of you, you're going to give me some answers that actually make sense. Like, how did Higuchi kill? We set up that elaborate trap with Matsuda to figure that out, and then we just arrested him without finding anything out, and nobody ever brought up the subject again. And, what are you planning with my father? Don't think I haven't noticed that you two are sending secret signals of some kind back and forth. And, most importantly, what happened to me so that I made all those threats?"

L said, "Everything you just asked is classified information. You promised not to ask these things if I came home to visit with you. If you're going to break our agreement, I will go home right now and you will never see me again."

Light said, "If you go home, I will continuously bother my father about it. I can tell that you want me to leave him alone. Isn't that right, L?"

L dropped his voice to a quiet hiss and said, "Kira erased parts of your memories, and the more you know about it, the more harm it will do you."

Light looked surprised, but then his face changed to disbelief. He raised his fist, and at that moment, L whipped his legs forward in a weird-looking, incredibly graceful movement, quickly planting his feet under Light's armpits, and gave a tremendous kick that send Light flying across the room, landing on his bed. A moment later, L was up, dragging his futon along with him as he headed for the door, muttering, "I'm more flexible than I look."

Light panted on the bed, holding hands to his armpits and wincing in pain. L pulled his futon out the bedroom door in a series of awkward jerks and said, "I could have hurt you if I wanted to. I've always held back during our fights. If I'd thrown you against the wall instead of on your bed I may have cracked your ribs."

Light simply crouched on his bed, breathing with heavy gasps and glaring. Just then Sayu walked by in the hallway. She glanced back and forth, seeing L removing his futon from the room and Light in an odd position on the bed, panting.

Sayu asked, "What's going on?"

L said, "I am going to sleep downstairs, in the living room."

Sayu looked curiously at Light's state of disarray and L's mussed hair. Dawning comprehension came into her face. She said, "Oh! Did you two just have a lovers' quarrel? Is this why there's trouble with Misa now?"

Light blushed strongly, and Sayu's look of understanding deepened. L said, "If there is anything of that nature between us, it is entirely in Light's imagination. Light is my friend and nothing more."

Sayu said, "But look at him blushing! I haven't seen him blush like that since he was a kid."

L continued moving his futon out of Light's room and said, "That's because he's remembering inappropriate things he said to me earlier today. I'm sure Light doesn't want anyone to tell his father about those things."

Light's eyes narrowed and a mean look came into them. He obviously understood the threat. If he pushed L too far, L could not only tell Soichiro about the sexual offers, L could even have Soichiro watch the video that showed Light verbally whoring out himself and Misa to practically everyone.

Light said, "Sayu, if you care about my happiness, and if you ever again want to receive help on your homework, you won't speak of this."

Sayu looked back and forth between L and Light, then nodded. L was having some trouble pulling the futon along because it was so floppy and heavy and awkwardly large, so Sayu got at the other end and helped. Rem positioned herself in the middle and secretly moved the futon along as well, especially on the difficult navigation down the stairs, and Sayu seemed not to notice anything. Soon the futon was being situated on the living room floor and L was putting on his shy act again and talking about being afraid of Light, so of course Sayu was willing to go upstairs again and get all the blankets L needed.

L made a little nest of blankets in the center of the futon and squatted there in his usual sitting position. Sayu sat down on the nearby couch and said, "Ryuzaki, I know you're easily scared. Light said you're the most paranoid person he's ever met. But, you're safe here. Light sometimes looks mean, but he'd never actually hurt anyone. He wouldn't hurt you."

L huddled in on himself further, drawing his knees in to touch his neck. His face was uncomfortable, his eyes downcast. A look of pity came into Sayu's eyes.

Sayu said, "Light said that you've never had a friend before him. Well, friends aren't always going to hit on you. If that's what is frightening you, just calm down. Light wouldn't do anything unless you liked it, and if you decide to get other friends someday, they probably won't put any sexual pressure on you."

L put a thumb to his mouth and nodded. He was looking more child-like than ever. How much of this was an act? Or, perhaps L really was like this around people who were neither his co-workers nor suspects, in situations where he had no role to play or mission to perform and was left to flounder around in the uncharted territory of the human social arena.

Sayu said, "How is your girlfriend? How did you get one without knowing how to make friends?"

L said, "Light helped me get a girlfriend, but he doesn't realize the things he did that benefited me that way. My girlfriend hasn't had many friends either. She's only had two in her life, and one of them died. We have a lot in common."

Sayu's face looked even sadder. She said, "I'm sorry I kept saying that you sit like a frog and other things like that. I'm just a very teasing person and I get so excited and then I just say whatever thoughts pop into my head. That's how I show affection. You should keep coming to visit us. Light and me will both show you how to make friends, and soon you'll have a lot of them and then you won't be so scared. Tomorrow, we'll make sure you have a great time. Everything will go wonderfully."

L nodded and then, in an awkward way, he turned himself around in his nest of blankets and faced directly away from Sayu, as if he were saying that the conversation was over. Sayu got up from the couch and left, turning off all the lights on her way out. After a few minutes, L said, "Rem, I am not dealing with any of this very well. There are more than enough blankets here to shield me from your coldness. Can you wrap me up and hold me?"

Tenderly, Rem wrapped L in several layers of blankets, including two thick quilts, and then she held him closely, cuddling him. He sighed and relaxed back into her. He was so tiny in her grasp. L almost looked brittle, like he might break. After a time his eyes closed, his breathing slowed, and his face became peaceful. Rem held him all night long, looking down at the marvelous, beautiful human she had somehow managed to obtain as her very own.

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

Yes, I did have the gall to write a SoichiroxSachiko sex scene. I've never seen one before. I hope it was sweet and funny and didn't squick anyone out too much.

Here's some highlights from what's upcoming:

Vacation I, II and III (three chapters): Fun with the Yagami family.

Emergency I and II : Light is still causing trouble, and Misa is officially insane. Also, Matsuda thinks L is a robot. World of Warcraft is worked in as well. Mello, Near and Matt appear.

War Priestess: Flashback chapter involving more stuff with shinigami.

Tattoos I and II: L gets lots and lots of tattoos. For intellectual reasons, of course. Also, Rem finally gets orgasms of her own.


	20. Vacation I

CHAPTER 20: VACATION I

The next morning, when Sayu and Sachiko went to put away L's futon and blankets, they both stopped in amazement as they felt the coldness still lingering in places.

Sachiko said, "Ryuzaki, were you comfortable last night? Was there a draft?"

Sayu said, "Light, come here and feel this! It feels like ice cubes must have been in here!"

L said, "I was perfectly warm. I didn't feel any draft."

Light looked for a moment as if he were going to dismiss his little sister, but then he went over and pressed his hands where she showed him to.

Light looked surprised as he felt around and said, "There's a cold spot in the middle of the futon, and these blankets are cold on just this side. Ryuzaki, what did you do?"

L shrugged. "I didn't do anything. Could I have some tea please?"

Sachiko said, "Of course," and left.

Light's eyes narrowed and he said, "Ryuzaki, it couldn't get this cold unless you did something to it."

Light glanced over at Soichiro and said, "See? Dad looks embarrassed. He knows you did something."

Ryuk chuckled and said, "This is just perfect. Soichiro can't do a thing about Ryuzaki sharing a bed with his girlfriend here because she's invisible."

"Hmmmmmm," L said, "perhaps it was a practical joke then. A little mystery for you to never figure out."

Sayu made a little girlish bounce and said, "Oh, Light, your friend is so neat. You have to bring him over lots more times. I'm going to insist and keep bugging you until you do."

In a tone that was just slightly sinister, Light said, "Yes, I'll keep bringing him home."

L said, "Whatever you want is fine, Light."

Just then, Soichiro said, "Light, we need to talk. In your room."

Light glanced at L who was pointedly ignoring him, and then followed his father upstairs. Rem trailed along. This must be the talk designed to prevent Light from dumping Misa during his remaining life.

When both men had gone into Light's room and closed the door, Soichiro looked directly at Rem and said, "Light, I really want us to have a private conversation."

Rem said, "Misa's happiness concerns me. I have a right to hear this."

Light said, "Is this the conversation L was signaling you about at dinner?"

Soichiro said, "Don't call him L. Now, I want to talk about how you should treat a woman. It is a terrible thing to use a woman and then discard her."

Light said, "I don't use women! That's what Ryuzaki wants me to do, to help with the investigation, but I don't believe it's right to manipulate a woman's feelings that way."

Light looked at the floor and said, "I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't."

Soichiro cleared his throat nervously and paced a bit. "Well... I think... with Misa..."

Light said, "What are you trying to say? Does Ryuzaki want me to pretend to like Misa in order to pry secrets out of her? I thought both of us were cleared! None of this is making any sense. You owe me the truth, Dad."

"We'll talk about that later," Soichiro said, "right now, it is very important, as your father, to let you know that... it is wrong to... to... have sex with a woman and then break up the relationship right away. Especially if you have harmed the woman in the process."

Light blushed and said, "Ryuzaki installed cameras in Misa's apartment, didn't he? That bastard! And, how many of you watched? Did the entire investigation team watch the video of us having sex? I know Matsuda's a big fan of Misa-Misa; he probably got off on it."

"No," Soichiro said, "it didn't happen like that. There was no video."

Light's voice became low and slightly dangerous. He said, "Stop lying to me. My privacy has been violated in so many ways, and my life has been ruined, and yet you still tell me I don't have a right to know anything about the investigation, even things pertaining to me directly. You owe me the truth more than ever. We're alone now. He'll never know. Just tell me."

Soichiro looked at Rem and said, "This is not the conversation we're having. We need to talk about you and Misa, not about the investigation."

Light said, "I think this is about the investigation. Ryuzaki put you up to this talk. He's still investigating us, isn't he? He let Misa and I loose just to see if we'd do anything incriminating."

"Light," Soichiro said, "this is a family issue. I know you've been having problems with Misa, and I don't want those problems to ruin the mood for our outing today. Your mother and sister have been without you for months. They deserve to have one nice day without worrying about you and Misa. Just be nice to Misa for a little while longer, until things settle down. Then you can break up with her if you want, but I will not have that sort of thing ruining our first family together time in months."

Light stood there silently, thinking. His eyes had a calculating look, as if he were analyzing many different theories, trying to choose the one that fit best.

Soichiro opened his arms and said, "Light, come here. I love you."

Light walked over and hugged his father, not enthusiastically but rather as if Light knew it was expected of him and he was just waiting for Soichiro to release him.

Soichiro squeezed him and with a slightly shaking voice, said, "Light, this Kira business has been absolutely devastating. I just want to put it behind us for one day. One day. Can you do that?"

Light said, "Yes," and Soichiro let go.

During breakfast, Watari delivered a large cake and several trays of doughnuts. Sachiko was very pleased and thought there would be a lot of leftovers, but L managed to eat half the cake and a considerable number of the doughnuts just by himself. By the time everyone had eaten, there wasn't much left. Then they went on their trip. Their destination was a tourist area consisting of a walking shopping district with lots of quaint little shops that bordered a large, beautifully landscaped park. The park in turn transitioned into a hilly mock-wilderness dotted with little shrines.

For several hours, Sayu was in the lead, dragging everyone else through one little shop after another. She was excited about everything she saw, and jabbered almost non-stop to both L and Light, regardless of whether they said much in return or not. Sayu ended up buying a new outfit and a few trinkets. She spent a lot of time trying to find items L would like, but he refused everything she tried to buy for him, and he had no patience at all when she took him to clothing shops and tried to convince him to try on outfits. Ryuk lost no opportunity in teasing L about the various things Sayu tried to convince him to wear. Sayu finally gave up on trying to get L to take anything into a dressing room and instead sneaked up behind him and put on hat on his head.

"There," Sayu said, "now look at that in the mirror!"

L reluctantly walked over to the nearest mirror and got a horrified expression on his face. The hat was a black leather one with a little brim, and except for matching the general color scheme of his hair and eyes, it clashed badly with the rest of his outfit.

Ryuk came up behind L and said, "I think you look really splendid in that. You should wear it the rest of the day."

L gingerly picked the hat off his head with two fingers, holding it even more delicately than usual and away from his body, as if it were covered with germs and he was afraid of being infected. He stretched out his hand to Sayu and said, "I'm done with clothing now."

Sayu nodded and said, "I won't bother you with clothing any more. But, another day, we need to try again. I bet we could get you lots of friends if you'd wear a few nice outfits."

True to her word, Sayu avoided the clothing shops from then on. At last, Sayu dragged everyone into a candy shop and L simply stopped in place, one finger to his lip, staring in a kind of stunned ecstasy at shelf upon shelf of every imaginable color and shape of candy. Sayu was very pleased at finally getting through to him, so she grabbed his hand and pulled him down every aisle of the shop, excitedly pointing out all sorts of things and explaining about some of the candy that was uniquely Japanese. L was picking up more and more stuff, until Sayu finally stopped him and said, "I can't pay for that much. You should choose what you like best."

L said, "I'll be paying for it."

And, with just one call on L's cellphone, Watari arrived, so quickly that he must have been lurking only a short distance away, and he helped L clean out nearly half the shop. Everything was loaded up into L's car except one large lollipop and a bunch of rice candy, and Watari soon drove away.

Sayu's face was still shocked as she watched the car pull away. Sayu said, "Ryuzaki, you're really rich! Wow!"

Sachiko said, "Dear, be polite."

Sayu said, "Sorry, Mom. Oh, but now Ryuzaki owes me some candy. He took so much that he can surely give me a few pieces."

L let Sayu sort through the rice candy and accept a few for herself, but as she lifted one to her mouth Sachiko said, "Don't eat too many just now. We're going to have lunch next."

Sure enough, when they left the candy shop they walked a little further, to an area like an outdoor food court that was jutting into the park from the shopping district, surrounded on three sides by food vendors. As Soichiro and Sachiko went to get food for everyone, Sayu pulled Light and L behind her, weaving in and out among the tables, and said, "Now, we just have to find Misa-Misa!"

L said, "I'm sure she got here early. She likes your brother very much."

Light said nothing, but merely snorted and looked bored, letting his sister drag him along. Rem spotted Misa before anyone else did, but Rem had the advantage of being able to see Misa's name floating above her head. Misa was wearing a wig, a hat and sunglasses, and her usual Gothic Lolita attire was toned down considerably. Shortly after Rem spotted Misa, Misa let out a tremendous squeal, stood up and began waving her arms. Sayu let out an answering girly squeal, and made her way in that direction, Light and L following behind more slowly.

As they approached Misa, Rem's heart warmed. Misa seemed almost sane, almost normal. Misa could put on an act so well that she started believing it herself. Right now, Misa wasn't anything other than a fluffy, air-headed pop idol, in disguise to meet her boyfriend. Misa was so good at compartmentalizing her mind, shutting out the dark parts, looking cute and happy in public. This was also perhaps the last time for quite a while that Misa would look this happy. Rem intended to savor it.

When Sayu reached Misa, she said, "Misa-Misa! I'm glad to see you again. I wish Dad hadn't been so angry with Light for moving in with you and you could have come over to visit all the time. I really, really love your late-night show and I'm going to see your movie when it comes out next week!"

Misa put a finger to her lips and said, "Shhhh! Misa keeps getting mobbed by fans and wants to have a nice time today!"

Sayu dropped her voice and said, "Sorry!"

Ryuk said, "Wouldn't it be cool if she did get mobbed by fans, and then we got to spend the rest of the day without her?"

Just then, Light navigated around a table and came within view. Misa shrieked, "Light!"

With a kind of running skip-hop, Misa rushed to Light's side and attached herself to his arm, rubbing her cheek against it and almost purring. Two men and three women, all unusually tall and wearing formal suits and sunglasses, got up from a nearby table and moved slightly closer to Misa's new position.

Misa waved her hand at them and said, "It's okay! You can watch from over there."

They stayed where they were, until L made a subtle hand signal, and then they moved a few tables away and sat down again. Misa lowered her voice and said, "Misa's new bodyguards are really pushy. They don't let Misa alone for a second."

Sayu said, "Oh, it must be really hard to be a celebrity. Poor Misa!"

L went to Misa's table and crouched in a chair, which everyone else took as a signal to sit down as well. There were two empty chairs for Sachiko and Soichiro. Misa scooted her chair close to Light, so she could grab him, and he endured her clinging indifferently.

Misa said, "It's so nice to be invited with Light's whole family, like a really serious relationship. Misa loves it."

Misa snuggled a bit further into Light's arm, then looked up at his face adoringly and said, "But, after we eat, Misa and Light will go off together for some special alone time, before rejoining everyone. Isn't that right, Light?"

"Yes, of course Misa." Light said.

Misa clung to Light's arm like a leech and said, "It's going to be so romantic. Our first real date, without Ryuzaki."

Sayu said, "What? But, you two were living together. You didn't go on dates?"

Misa stuck out her tongue at L and said, "We only went on really lame dates where Ryuzaki came along and watched everything."

Sayu looked at L and raised an eyebrow, but L just continued to watch the conversation silently. His facial expression didn't even change.

Misa continued, "Misa used to think Ryuzaki was some pervert who was after Light. They slept in the same bed and always showered together and Ryuzaki would not let Light alone for a minute, but then Ryuzaki acknowledged our love and now he's going to let us be together. He even told Misa she's the right and perfect woman for Light."

Sayu's eyebrows went up even further and she said, "You don't think there's anything wrong with that?"

"No," Misa said, "Ryuzaki was just scared. He thought Light was Kira and would kill him if he ever stopped watching. But now Ryuzaki knows the truth and he's not going to bother Light and Misa any more."

Sayu laughed and said, "Of course Light couldn't be Kira. He's too cool! Kira is some kind of sick psychopath."

L said, "I was paranoid. I've learned my mistake since then. Sayu, I'd appreciate it if you don't discuss this with others."

Sayu looked at L with an expression like she was trying to decide what to believe. Her gaze kept moving back and forth between Light and L.

Light said, "Sayu, it isn't like that. Ryuzaki is some kind of paranoid crazy guy without any friends, and I wouldn't be allowed to be his friend unless I went along with his ideas. If I hadn't done those things, he would have had no friends at all. I was being nice, giving up my freedom like that."

Misa said, "Besides, Ryuzaki is super-rich and he had this really nice place for us to live. It was unbelievably huge. It's not his fault he thinks everyone is Kira."

Sayu said, "Everyone?"

Misa said, "Ryuzaki thinks there are lots of Kiras out there, not just two. He even thought I was one for a while."

Sayu said, "Oh, shit!" and leaned her head on the table, going into an extended giggling fit. After a time she gasped out, "Misa-Misa as Kira, that is just... completely insane."

"I got to admit Sayu's right," Ryuk said, "Misa made a really terrible Kira."

L said, "Sayu, I think you realize your parents would be happier if you don't discuss these things with them."

"I'm sorry, Ryuzaki," Sayu said, "it's just hard for me to imagine anything like that. I'm not trying to make fun of your fears. Is that what you really thought? Or was there another reason?"

L said, "I have a variety of mental illnesses. You can ask your mother. She saw me have a panic attack in your bathroom last night."

Light looked at L quizzically. Sayu got an expression of pity on her face and came over to pat L on the shoulder. She said, "Don't worry! If you were having paranoid problems like that and you're giving up the idea that everyone is Kira, then it proves you're getting better. And, if you were just pretending to be afraid of Kira and you're really gay or something, that's okay too. I'm sure you could find the right guy. You'll get friends too. With Light and me both helping you, there's no way we can fail. Both of us are really good at getting friends, and we'll teach you everything we know."

L said, "I have a girlfriend. But if you want to help me make friends, that is fine."

Sayu started bouncing in her seat and said, "Light! Why don't you call some of your friends and have them come here. We can start helping Ryuzaki right away. He could send his car to get them, so it wouldn't be any expense or trouble for them."

"No," L said, "I'd like to just have a quiet day today. There are enough people here for me right now."

L huddled in on himself and looked pitiful, round dark eyes staring out from under his shaggy spikes of hair. Then he put one finger to his lip and said, "I'm shy."

Misa said, "Wait! Ryuzaki has a girlfriend? Why didn't I ever see her?"

Sayu looked back and forth between L and Light once more, but then Soichiro and Sachiko arrived laden down with plenty of food and everyone was distracted for a while. Most of the talk turned to Light's plans to return to college and catch up with the people he'd lost touch with. Misa tried to bring up the subject of L's girlfriend several times, but L refused to say hardly anything. Throughout the meal, Misa spent more and more time snuggling into Light's arm, focusing her attention on him more deeply, repeatedly emphasizing how wonderful he was and making cute baby-talk at him. Light didn't respond very much to Misa's advances.

At one point, Rem saw Ryuk snag an apple from another table while the owner of that apple was talking with a friend. It was gone in three bites and no bystanders noticed anything. Finally, everyone had pretty much finished eating. L was heavily absorbed in stacking little slices of mochi and some cookies into a tower-like structure.

Sachiko said, "Why don't you kids have fun on your own for a bit. We'll be going just a little further on, to sit next to the duck pond. You can catch up when you like."

As Soichiro and Sachiko left, Misa stood up and yanked on Light's arm, trying to pull him to his feet. She said, "It's time for something romantic with just the two of us."

Light remained seated and said, "Ryuzaki, you'll still be here when I get back, right? You know what I'll do if you leave too early."

L did not pause in his stacking or look up. He said, "Of course I'll be here, Light."

Misa said, "Liiiigghht! Why are you still so concerned about him? Now, it's our time. Let's go! We'll have a wonderful walk in the park."

Light got to his feet and went with Misa, patiently enduring her chatter but not saying much in return. As he walked out toward the park, followed at a distance by Misa's bodyguards, Light looked back over his shoulder at L a few times.

When Light went out of hearing range, Sayu said, "There is something between you and my brother, isn't there? Everyone is surprised about your girlfriend and they sound like they haven't heard of her before. Is she made up?"

L said, "You can believe whatever you want, Sayu. It really doesn't concern me."

"Or maybe," Sayu said, "your girlfriend is Misa, and Light's all jealous and that's why there's so much trouble."

L said nothing in return. Sayu got up from her chair and took L's hand. L tore his gaze away from his food tower and looked at her, surprised. Sayu gave his hand a little tug and said, "Let's go! I think you're done with your food. We can feed the ducks with Mom and Dad."

L halfway stood up in his chair and hopped out, then allowed Sayu to pull him in the direction Sachiko and Soichiro had disappeared a few minutes earlier. As he walked, he pulled the large lollipop he'd bought at the candy shop out of his pocket and began licking it.

Rem gazed after the figures of Light and Misa, almost disappearing from view. She grew her wings out, launched herself up into the air, and followed after. Soon, she passed the little knot of bodyguards and found a comfortable place to hover just above Light and Misa, flying at the same speed they walked. It was easy to get a good view of Misa's face from above, because Misa spend most of her time gazing upward adoringly toward Light's face. Rem tried to enjoy the experience, but there was something very sickening about the way Misa was so devoted to Light. It wasn't right, or healthy, and it kept reminding Rem of all the horrible things Light had done or tried to do to Misa. If he'd had his way with his last plan, Misa would now be whored out to some random investigator, and she'd probably do it just because Light told her to. As long as Misa got Light, she didn't care much about anything else. Misa didn't even really care about Light's Kira plan, she just wanted to feel useful to Light and spend time with him.

Rem really couldn't understand why she still liked Misa and wanted her happiness, but every time she looked at Misa, she just felt something. It was like looking at an old friend. Odd, since that was something Misa certainly wasn't. Rem knew that she shouldn't like Misa. They had nothing in common. L, on the other hand, was both fascinating and responsive. Plus, he had a personality that just fit with what Rem wanted; not too human, but not too much like a shinigami either.

After Misa and Light had walked for a while along a wide gravel path that looped around little ponds and groves of trees, L suddenly appeared from behind a tree some distance ahead of them and approached, one hand in his pocket, the other holding the large lollipop.

Misa crossed her arms and said, "Hmmmppfff! You can't leave us alone, can you?"

"Actually," L said, "I will only take a moment, and then I'll be gone. Misa, remember the talk we had before? Even though you've been cleared, you shouldn't go around spilling secrets about the investigation."

"But," Misa said, "that was about Misa's life and her friendships, not about Kira, especially since Misa and Light aren't Kira. Is Misa not supposed to say anything about what she did for the past few months?"

L turned to look at Light and said, "Light, I doubt anyone would take Sayu seriously, especially after what I just said to her. But, I should tell you that there are groups out there who are interested in capturing Kira suspects in order to torture them and experiment on them. This could extend to their families as well. Can you keep Misa quiet? I know how deeply she respects you."

"Respects!" Ryuk laughed, "She doesn't care anything about Light as long as he indulges in their little pretend romance. He's an object to her. An object of devotion, sure, but still just an object."

At the same time Ryuk spoke, Misa gasped and put her hands to her mouth. She said, "It's scary!"

Light said, "Ryuzaki, this is one of the things you should have told me about before letting me loose. Don't you think it's time to tell me everything?"

L leaned forward more and said, "Light, do you want to spend years in a secret lab being poked and prodded by people who are happy to torture you over a slight chance you might be Kira? Just because they hope you could pass your power on to them? Do you want that to happen to Misa? Or to your family if they think Kira's power is genetic or they think you'll crack if they torture people you love?"

Light had a bitter look on his face, but he said, "Misa, you won't speak of those things in front of others again."

"Don't worry," Misa said, "Misa will be good."

"Then," L said, "I'll be going back with Light's parents. Please have plenty of fun on your date."

As L wandered away in an almost aimless manner, Misa looked after him and said, "He really understands our love! Misa thinks he feels sorry for locking us away from each other."

Misa tugged Light over to sit with her on some large rocks, almost like massive shelves, next to a little stream. Just barely beyond them, an ornate old-fashioned arched bridge spanned the stream. Rem flew to the bridge and sat on its railing. Misa plucked some grass with her free hand and tossed it into the water, watching the current take it away. The other hand seemed to be almost permanently attached to Light's arm. Rem was reminded of a fishhook. Misa had her hook into Light, and didn't want to release him.

Misa said, "Light made a promise to Misa. Half the time. Light was generous, and Misa's been waiting for so long."

Light blushed and said, "Misa, I didn't mean... I didn't want..."

Misa looked at Light with a flash of anger in her eyes and said, "Then, is it like the last time, when you kissed Misa but then later you said to Ryuzaki that it was a one-sided relationship?"

Light said, "No! I don't use women. I mean, what I did to you, that time and... the other time... in your apartment, that's not like me. Something was wrong with me."

Misa snuggled closer to Light's arm, that arm she had her hook lodged into, and she said, "It's okay if you use Misa or even kill her. But, you must be with Misa. You can't leave Misa all alone. It isn't allowed to leave Misa all alone."

Light ran one hand across his forehead. "Misa, you shouldn't say things like that, talking about death, and about dying for me. I know you're very devoted, but I made a mistake. It wasn't my fault, though. Everything got messed up somehow."

Misa said, "You didn't make a mistake. You made a promise."

Light said, "I don't know why I did that."

Misa latched onto Light's arm more fiercely than ever, squeezing it so tightly that Rem wondered if the circulation had been cut off. Then Misa said, "Light, you owe me sex. You owe me good sex. You even said it yourself, so it must be true. I have a room reserved in a nearby hotel, a nice one, not a sleazy one. It would take only fifteen minutes to get there."

Ryuk rolled his eyes and said, "This stupid stuff again. Rem, I really hope Light has the sense to resist it this time. Light's made for better things than letting himself be attached to Misa."

Light said, "Misa, I'm not sure we should make this worse than it already is."

Ryuk said, "See? He has some sense."

Rem said, "I don't care what they do as long as it makes Misa happy. If Light tries the same thing as last time, I'm grabbing him and pulling him off her."

Misa started sobbing quietly and said, "Are you saying you don't want to have sex with me? After we waited months and months to get rid of Ryuzaki's stupid surveillance just to have five minutes of sex, and then we've waited another week? I'm pretty, aren't I? All the men want me. Why don't you want me?"

Light said, "Misa," and awkwardly patted her shoulder with his free hand. It was a reserved kind of patting, unsure and a bit afraid, as if Light were patting a dog that might decide to attack at any second.

Light's eyes were very round and confused. They looked everywhere except at Misa. Finally, Light said, "Misa, I don't want you to expect anything. Is that okay?"

Misa looked up at Light and wiped the tears from her eyes. "It will be nice? You promised it would be nice every other time."

"Oh, crap," Ryuk said, "he's going to do it. What is it with humans and their stupid sex drives? I'm out of here."

Ryuk grew out his wings and with just a few flaps to gain altitude, he was riding the air currents, drifting in the same direction L had disappeared.

"Listen, Misa," Light said, "I feel bad about what happened, but I don't know if this will fix anything. I don't use women. Tell me I'm not using you."

Misa put on her actress face and said, "Light, you're not using Misa. Misa is good and wants this to happen."

Light stood up and said, "Let's go, then."

Misa gave an excited squeal, but Light's face looked resigned rather than excited. Almost any other man would love to have a beautiful model throwing herself at him, but Light was just doing this because of pride or something, because he wanted to think of himself as a good person who kept his promises and didn't use people.

But, before they could even leave the stream bank, the bodyguards were closing in. One of the women, a blonde, stepped forward and said, "Misa, you are on suicide watch. I know you understand you can't go anywhere unless at least one of us is there."

Misa said, "Yeah, like I'd try to kill myself! Ryuzaki is so stupid and controlling. Do you really think I don't know who hired you guys?"

Misa turned to Light and said, "I'm going to fire these new bodyguards as soon as I figure out how. Ryuzaki has somehow taken control of all my bank accounts. I can't do anything without clearing it with his employees first!"

Misa's eyes were burning with rage. She turned back to the blonde and said, "Halle, I am sick of you following me into the bathroom and everywhere. You are not going to watch me have sex with my boyfriend."

Halle said, "Misa, I am sure you won't kill yourself in front of him. I can let you two be alone, but only if Light promises not to take his eyes off you for a moment. We will have keys and we'll be in the next room. If we hear anything alarming or see Light leave, we'll rush in."

Misa rolled her eyes at the bodyguard, and then snuggled into Light. In a purring tone, she said, "Misa will get what she wants."

As Misa led Light away toward the nearest road, he did not look pleased at all. The bodyguards quickly loaded Light and Misa into the backseat of one car, and then the bodyguards who didn't fit in the first car filled a second. In a few moments, both cars were on the road, some bodyguards talking to L on cellphones about what had happened, others talking to Misa and explaining they'd reserved a different hotel for the activity, one where it would be easier for all of them to wait in the next room.

Misa pouted for a bit, but then she spent the rest of the drive trying to do backseat making out with an embarrassed, partially reluctant Light. Soon he was both aroused and flustered. His cheeks were flushed a bright pink, his hair was messed up, and he didn't like it. He kept drawing back from Misa and straightening his hair and clothes. The bodyguards pointedly ignored the backseat proceedings.

Just before the end of the trip, Light disengaged from Misa and said, "You are on birth control, right?"

Misa said, "Yes. Misa has been waiting and preparing a long time."

Misa leaned in toward Light, but he drew back and said, "What about condoms? We need to be safe."

Halle tossed some foil packets of condoms into the back seat just then. Light stared down at them in shock.

Misa snorted, placed her arms around Light's neck and said, "Misa already knows she is clean, and if Light has any diseases, Misa wants them. Besides, she probably caught them last time. Misa wants to feel Light inside her."

Halle said, "Light, we are charged with protecting Misa, but we have a medical report on you that shows you are free of sexually transmitted diseases. If Misa doesn't want to use condoms, we won't insist."

Light said, "Ryuzaki doesn't have any limits! He prys into everything. He pretends he isn't a criminal, but he is."

Misa pulled Light into a kiss then, and he endured it, looking impatient as she moved her mouth around, nibbling everywhere. She didn't stop trying to suck his face until the car stopped in front of the hotel. Light had to spend a lot of time smoothing his hair and clothing back into place before he would even get out of the car, and he didn't let Misa hang on his arm or kiss him on the way to the room.

The bodyguards had reserved a large suite, with an area like a living room in front and several bedrooms in the back. Misa selected the biggest bedroom and excitedly dragged Light inside, shutting the door with a vigorous slam. Rem phased through the wall, and saw Misa had already pushed Light onto the bed and was straddling him, leaning down to kiss his face far more passionately than she had done in the car. Her blonde hair was loose, and a curtain of slightly wavy tendrils fell along both sides of Light's lower face and neck, tickling him with soft, swaying movements. Light was kissing back at about half the intensity, and he looked distinctly overwhelmed, bothered by the experience.

Rem smirked. It certainly didn't seem like a repeat of last time, at least not so far. If Light upset Misa again, Rem would waste no time in pulling him off. If anything, the tables had been turned. Misa was having her way with Light and he was the one who was troubled. Light looked as if he were trying not to like it, trying not to lose control to his instincts. He had an almost permanent blush now, a deeply flustered, tousled look, and his eyes darted around nervously, looking at Misa as little as possible. Misa's face was shining with a kind of grateful anticipation. Rem could almost see Misa's relief at the months of waiting being over. Whatever Misa had been fantasizing about all that time, it was something like this, a Light who let her take her time with sex and gain her own pleasure in the process.

Misa at last broke her minutes-long kiss and sat up. Light lay beneath her, panting and nervous. He ran a hand through his hair almost unconsciously, brushing it into place a bit. Misa rotated her knees forward, so that the front of her skirt made a little tent on Light's stomach, with the open end pointed directly at his eyes. When she saw Light wasn't looking into that cavern, she began sliding her skirt up her thighs slowly, bit by bit exposing black lacy panties. Light was looking now. Misa rotated her pelvis forward so her crotch was pointing directly at Light's face.

Still holding her skirt up, Misa said, "I want you to touch it, to feel how wet I am. I've soaked all the way through."

For a split second, Light got a look on his face as if someone had asked him to touch a dead fish, but then it was gone, replaced by a look of greater lust than he'd shown so far, but still marred by confusion and hesitance. He reached forward with one hand, lightly resting the tips of his fingers on the crotch of Misa's panties, then sliding the fingers downward slowly along her crease. Misa wriggled in place, and Rem saw a very nice expression come into Misa's face, a look of lust, curiosity and happiness all mingled together. Light was panting harder and irregularly, and Misa's breaths were speeding up, soft little feminine pants and gasps.

Light hooked one finger into the edge of Misa's panties, and used that motion to slip several fingers underneath the black lacy fabric. Misa pressed into his touches, her eyes glazing in lust. Then Light suddenly twisted the orientation of his fingers so they were no longer sliding around under the fabric, but were pushing the crotch of Misa's panties aside and were pointed to go straight in. She shuddered as he entered her, and then as he started thrusting in and out, she made little thrusts back at him and her arms shook just slightly, almost losing control of the skirt she was holding up. Misa threw her head back and her mouth opened, her full, sensuous lips working slightly, as if she were giving an open-mouthed kiss to someone invisible.

Light looked aroused but almost angry at the same time. He was watching Misa's face, seeing her little reactions to everything he did inside her. But, he wasn't really trying anything to see if he could get her more excited or find a sensitive spot. His hand motions were rather mechanical, in and out, in and out.

Misa said, "Light, let's lie down and lick each other at the same time."

Light at first looked as if he were thinking of protesting, but then Misa began kissing him and sliding her hands under his shirt, and she was able to undress him piece by piece without a word being said. When Misa finished with Light, she pulled her dress off over her head in one smooth motion, then unhooked her bra and flung it away. She made Light pull her panties off slowly, and the process seemed to delight her. She looked as if she would pounce on him at any second and crush him under a flurry of humping.

Light's expression was more conflicted than ever, switching between innocent, confused, overwhelmed and extremely lustful in a constant tumult of feelings. Was he really doing this just for his pride, so he could believe he wasn't the type of man who would use a woman and then throw her away? Or, maybe, he was telling himself he was doing this to repair damage to his reputation and keep his promise, but deep down he really did want sex, and it was scaring him? Light Yagami liked to control everything, and to let something as messy and personal and instinctual as sex get the upper hand must be very disconcerting.

Misa and Light lay on their sides, each one with their face near the other's groin. Misa acted first, trying to fit Light's erection into her mouth but with several false moves before she could really do it. She soon settled into a cycle of taking it all in for just a few seconds, then going back to sucking on just the tip while her hands stroked the shaft, sometimes licking and making little bites as she worked her way up and down the length. Light responded with strangled little moans that he tried to hold in, and thrust himself just slightly against her face, a kind of rocking motion.

Then Light grabbed Misa's butt cheeks as if they were handles to steady himself, one in each hand, and lowered his head to press his mouth to her clitoris. Because of his long torso and Misa's tiny torso, he had to double over quite a bit to reach. Then he began licking, and Misa's look of bliss increased enormously, her whole body twitching slightly. Light drew back and rested a moment.

Misa unlatched herself from his erection long enough to say, "Just keep licking, don't stop."

Light put his head back and licked very hesitantly.

Misa mumbled, "No, lick faster."

Light got a disgruntled expression, but he sped up his tongue strokes, his face switching between distaste and intense arousal as Misa moved her mouth along his shaft, sometimes pulling it all in, sometimes mouthing the tip while her hands scrambled over the rest, sliding and squeezing.

Rem was surprised to see Misa like this. Usually Misa was so deferential and self-denying when it came to others, especially Light. But, this was the one way in which Misa was sometimes willing to thwart Light or push him; when she thought he was trying to deny her the relationship she craved. This was like her threat to kill his other girlfriends and her suicidally stupid disobedience in not waiting acceptable intervals between visits during the time when L was hot on Light's trail.

Misa began rewarding and punishing Light, sucking on him harder and more deeply every time he was giving her good pleasure, and slowing down whenever he wasn't doing it correctly. Rem could see him starting to learn. The two of them were matched now, experiencing ecstasy or frustration together, always led by Misa's intentions.

Suddenly, Misa raised her thighs and clenched them hard around Light's head, so it was almost entirely hidden between her legs. Her mouth unlatched from his length and several muscular ripples went through her body as her face became that perfect face, glowing with the bliss of her orgasm. Her mouth came open, her eyes closed and her head leaned back as she twitched, and then, in a quiet voice, she said, "Oh, Kira."

With some difficulty, Light pulled his head from between her legs and then partially sat up, a frown on his face. He said, "You're fantasizing about Higuchi? Is that it?"

"No, Light. Misa has always said that, ever since Kira first appeared. And, Misa always fantasized about you being Kira. Not Higuchi. He's old and yucky."

Light placed one hand on his chin and said, "Misa, that time when you were on a date with Higuchi and he confessed, but you only recorded the last half of the conversation, do you remember what happened before that?"

Misa recounted her date in detail, idly playing with Light the whole time, keeping him hard. She remembered almost nothing of the date itself. She didn't even remember making the recording, though she remembered playing it for everyone later and the story she'd told to explain it. At the end of the conversation, Misa tried to climb into Light's lap but he pushed her back and kept talking, quizzing her in great detail about everything she remembered that related to the two of them or the Kira investigation. Misa kept palming Light's erection as they talked. He looked annoyed, but put up with it. Finally, after a surprisingly long and detailed interrogation session, Light let Misa climb into his lap and rub herself along his penis, finally slipping it inside and riding him in a slow, steady rhythm. Light began to get that look again of giving in to lust but fighting it at the same time. After a minute, he suddenly flipped them over so Misa was lying on her back on the bed and began thrusting into Misa.

Misa said, "Touch me! Please!"

She was looking up, her eyes begging. Light reached down and fumbled around. He couldn't find her clitoris. Then he brushed it by accident and Misa's back arched as she gave a quiet little gasp. Light moved his fingers around that area, probing, and soon provoked the same reaction again. Then he pinned it down under his thumb and massaged it with repetitive circles. There was sweat now, sitting in beads on Misa's forehead, refusing to run down her face no matter how she squirmed. Her quick panting was entirely delicate and girly, and her eyes were in that fog of just before an orgasm, no thoughts in them whatsoever. Misa had succumbed to her instincts, to her physical side, and her mind didn't matter any more. She was just a panting, wriggling body receiving pleasure from the penis that continued to impale her over and over, and the thumb that circled her sensitive little nub relentlessly. Then Misa's breath hitched, and her legs clenched, and she quietly said, "Oh, Kira."

Just at that moment her face was completely perfect, a tousled, blushing ecstasy, like an angel or a goddess who had just woken up in the morning and hadn't yet had time to do her hair and face. Her legs continued to clench and unclench rhythmically for a few seconds. Light wasn't done yet, he was still thrusting inside her and manipulating with his thumb. Misa regained enough presence of mind to swat his thumb away. As he tried to return it, she said, "Too sensitive."

With that, Light put both hands down on either side of Misa and started really pushing into her. He was going fairly fast, but he didn't seem that excited about it. His face was a mess of different emotions, with arousal and a kind of resignation being foremost. After some time of repeating exactly the same actions and still with no difference in Light's facial expression, he said, "Misa, don't look at me. Close your eyes."

Misa obeyed, and a few seconds later Light had his orgasm. He looked blissful but guarded at the same time, but the guarded look was much less strong than it had been during his last orgasm having sex with Misa. Light looked a bit innocent in the moment of his climax, suffering from a wild mix of untamed emotions he didn't understand and would rather deal with in a more civilized way. His sweaty body collapsed on top of Misa's, partly hugging her and partly curled away, his face pressed into the sheets beside her rather than into her face or hair.

Light did not actively cuddle, but let Misa cuddle him, climbing over him and snuggling against him as she pleased. Through it all, he had a calculating, analyzing look in his eyes, as if he were sorting through everything Misa had told him and trying to match it with his own memories and known facts, trying to fill in the missing parts of the puzzle. After a time, he looked as if he'd come to some kind of decision. After cleaning up and making sure his hair and clothing was nice and clean and in place, the two of them left to rejoin the family outing.

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

The Light/Misa sex scene in this was hard to get just right. Having innocent!Light having sex with domineering!Misa is difficult to figure out and keep in character.

I knew it wouldn't be like the last sex scene with these two, but getting all the little details of the mood and characterization and such into satisfying shape just took a lot of time.


	21. Vacation II

CHAPTER 21: VACATION II

In the car on the way back, Light and Misa got into an explosive argument about whether the date was really over or not. Misa wanted to extend it so that she would spend the rest of the day with Light and his family, despite the agreement she'd made earlier. Rem did not want to see this side of Misa, with an unhappy, angry face, so she flew off, seeking L and the Yagami family.

She found them still relaxing by the duck pond. Sayu and Sachiko were at one end, where Sayu was operating a remote-controlled small boat, sometimes chasing the ducks with it until her mother scolded her. The ducks didn't mind; they just attacked the boat with their bills whenever it bumped into them. L and Soichiro were on a bench at the other end of the duck pond. L was still working away at his giant lollipop, and a huge bag of duck food was sitting between them. Periodically, one of them would take a handful and throw it to the eager ducks that were gathered at that edge of the pond.

Soichiro looked like he was at last starting to crack under the strain. His facade was slipping; it was more difficult to pretend Light's death wasn't approaching. There was enormous tension in the skin around his eyes, and his forehead kept producing beads of sweat that he periodically wiped away.

L was largely oblivious. He seemed to be entirely in his own world, just as when he became deeply involved in stacking objects. Perhaps repetitive physical movements were soothing to him. He had a kind of rhythm built up with the lollipop licking and the duck-food throwing. He also eyed the formation of ducks carefully before each throw, and aimed the shower of pellets to land in such a place that the ducks would have to do the most work possible to swim over to it. He was giving them a regular workout.

Soichiro interrupted the silence by saying, "What did I do wrong with Light? How could I have stopped this?"

L said, "You did nothing wrong. You raised him with a strong sense of justice. If he'd never found that notebook, he would have become an excellent detective. And, if you'd been truly suspicious of him during the investigation, he probably would have killed you. That's why I kept telling you I only suspected Light five percent or other small percentages. I suspected him much more, but if I'd told you that, it may have put your life in danger."

Soichiro said, "But, what happened with Light isn't normal. There must have been something I could have done. He's just a kid. How could he stomach killing so many people?"

L said, "At my present age, I would never do what Light has done, but if I had found such a thing when I was seventeen, as he did, I might have. I certainly would have done something stupid with it, even if I hadn't tried to kill off all the world's criminals. Teenagers don't have enough experience, so they tend to think there are simple solutions to the world's problems. They also believe strongly in their own rightness."

"Then," Soichiro said, "it is as I said in the hospital after my heart attack. Kira is not evil. It is the power to kill that is evil."

L licked his lollipop twice and then said, "The notebook is a great temptation. It happened to be perfectly suited to Light's personality. It corrupted him. If he'd had the strength early on to get rid of it, he would have recovered. But, that act would have been admitting to himself he'd done something wrong, and with his pride it would have been very difficult to think of himself as a murderer. So, the longer he kept it, the more likely that he would never turn away from being Kira."

Rem said, "Most death note owners only kill a few times before giving up ownership. Light is unusual."

L said, "Light has immense willpower. It would have suited him well if he hadn't become a criminal."

"Even with his willpower," Soichiro said, "I don't understand how he did it. My mind just can't grasp it."

"There is a phenomenon," L said, "that occurs with distant deaths. If the killer never sees it, it feels unreal, and they don't suffer in the way a hands-on murderer does. Some of the greatest mass-murderers in history did exactly what Light did. They wrote names on paper. These murderers were part of corrupt regimes indulging in mass killings, and they were sending out execution lists of undesirables to be killed. Most of them believed they weren't murderers. Their killings had less psychological impact on them because they were distant and unseen."

Rem saw Light approaching in the distance. Misa was not with him.

Rem said, "Light is returning."

L said, "I see him."

Soichiro put both hands to his face and said, "I still feel like I did something wrong. I failed at being a father."

L awkwardly patted Soichiro's back and said, "I am the one who failed. If I had cornered Kira early in the investigation, he probably would have given up his power and none of us would know anything about it. Chief Yagami, you must remain strong for the sake of Sayu and your wife. They will need you very much. You've been an excellent father, and you still have the opportunity to fulfill that role for Sayu. If she lost both her brother and her father, it would be too cruel. Please don't do that to her."

On the other side of the pond, Light had gathered Sayu and Sachiko and was leading them toward Soichiro. Soichiro sighed deeply several times, and then got a handkerchief out and wiped his face. He tried to put on a calm expression, and smiled as they approached.

Sayu was clutching a little pamphlet in one hand, and she squealed as she neared her father, saying, "Look at what Light discovered! At the outdoor stage at the other end of the park, there are five traditional Noh plays in a row all day today, with the next one starting almost right now!"

Light said, "I know how much Sayu and Mom love those, so I couldn't resist telling them about it."

Soichiro started to get up, but Sachiko gently pushed him back down and said, "Dear, you look very tired, and I know you and Light hate those plays. Why don't you two have fun together and we'll rejoin you later. If you get impatient, you can always call my cellphone."

As Sayu and Sachiko turned to leave, L hopped from the bench and started to follow. Light grabbed his arm and said, "No, I want you to stay here."

Sayu looked back quizzically. L shrugged, climbed back onto the bench, settled into his characteristic crouch and began throwing food to the ducks once more. Light watched his mother and sister leave. There was a tense silence between Light and Soichiro, almost a crackling atmosphere between them. Light was looking at Soichiro almost constantly, but Soichiro was unable to meet the eyes of his son. L was out of the loop. He'd decided to close himself into his own little world again, and his face was serene, his movements relaxed and unconcerned.

Light broke the silence by saying, "There is a Hachiman shrine on top of the highest hill over there. It's very old and historical. I'd like to visit it."

Soichiro started to get up once more, but Light said, "I care about you too much to let you climb that hill. It is large and steep, and you're technically still recovering from your heart attack. Besides, you look completely worn out already."

A look of relief came across Soichiro's face, and he settled back onto the bench.

Light said, "Come on, Ryuzaki. Let's go."

L said, "I will stay here."

L patted the huge bag of duck food next to him, and continued, "I haven't finished feeding the ducks."

Light said, "I don't think you want to leave me alone, Ryuzaki. You know what I might do."

L got up and answered, "Whatever you say, Light."

As Rem followed the two of them across the park, toward the hilly area of thick forest dotted with shrines, she thought about Light's actions. He had very neatly disposed of all his family members, and was now leading L into a place with few people.

Rem said, "Light may be planning to ambush you or start some scheme."

L replied, "I know that very well."

Light looked at L and said, "What do you have? A tiny phone inside your ear?"

L said, "Perhaps I'm just taking up the habit of talking to myself. I will let you examine my ear if you wish."

Light snorted and kept walking. L trailed behind. They were now getting to an area of the park that was transitioning into a mock-wilderness. It wasn't as neat and clean as the rest. Messy drifts of dead leaves appeared now, collected in ditches and low areas. Ahead of them, the forest was a riot of color combined with browns. A few trees still had green leaves, and a few were entirely leafless, but most trees were covered with leaves in the red-orange-yellow range. The temperature was right at the boundary between warm and cool, with a crisp feel to the air. There was something very calm and peaceful about it all, despite the danger and fake friendship radiating from Light.

Then they entered the forest, climbing a steep, winding path of ancient stone steps, some missing or so badly tilted that both men jumped over them rather than use them. Rem took to the air, lazily floating above them, phasing right through the tree branches whenever they got in her way. There hadn't been a single other person in view since they entered the forest. They came to a semi-clearing, where there were still trees but they were spread out more, and quite a bit of sunlight came down through the partial canopy. When they were halfway through it, Light suddenly got a tense look in his eyes. L couldn't see, since he was still behind Light.

Rem said, "Watch out!"

At the same moment, Light turned and punched. L ducked the punch, swirled around Light, and kicked him in the back. Light fell heavily against a jutting stone step. He groaned and rubbed the side of his leg, remaining where he'd fallen.

L said, "What is the purpose of that?"

Light said, "This time, L, you're going to tell me exactly what I want to know."

L said, "It is a crime to leak classified information."

"Then," Light said, "what you told me last night was a complete lie. Kira did not erase portions of my memories."

L said nothing in return. Light continued rubbing his leg, an expression of pain on his face. L walked over and held out a hand to help Light get up. Light made a swiping kick that tripped L, and L was falling backwards, his head aimed toward broken stone. Rem caught him and set him on his feet.

Light's face was pure shock. He said, "What the hell was that?"

L edged further away from Light and said, "I recover quickly from falls."

"No," Light said, "that movement was completely unnatural. You changed direction in mid-air."

"Perhaps," L said, "I am more of a master of martial arts than you think."

Light said, "Well, let's not get off-topic then. You are going to tell me the truth about Kira, or I'll keep fighting until both of us are a bloody mess. I don't think you want to explain that to my father."

L said, "Violence will solve nothing. I can subdue you without hurting you."

Light said, "We will have this conversation here, or we will have it in front of my family, or we will have it in public. You might care about not leaking classified information, but I'll do it if that's what it takes. And, if you try to leave, I'll do exactly the same thing to my father. I won't let up for even one minute until he's told me the truth."

L said, "The truth is very complicated, and you won't believe it unless I assemble some evidence to show you. I'll create a briefing kit for you to look over tomorrow in the investigation center, but that is the very last time you'll be allowed in there, and if any of the information leaks, I'll see that you're charged with that crime."

In a low, dangerous voice, Light said, "There are too many things about tomorrow. You and my father are both very concerned about today, but not tomorrow. What is scheduled to happen?"

L said, "You are imagining things. It will take that long to assemble the evidence into a proper briefing kit."

Light said, "You feel sorry for my father, and you want me to spend a lot of time with my family today. Am I dying?"

L said nothing, but his dark eyes held a flat, dull look as if he were retreating, withdrawing into himself. He took a few more steps away from Light.

Light said, "L, you aren't getting out of this. If I'm dying, you owe me at least that much."

In a quiet voice, L said, "You will die. We believe Kira killed you, and scheduled your death for tonight."

A look of terrible shock and panic spread across Light's face. L turned away, and began using one foot to stir the dead leaves on the forest floor. Rem could see that he was nudging the various colors of leaves into a simple alternating pattern.

In a choked, pained voice, Light said, "Am I Kira?"

Without turning around, L said, "Yes, you are Kira."

"If I am Kira," Light said, his voice shaking with both pain and anger, "those criminals deserved to die. Didn't they? Didn't they?"

L said nothing, but he dropped into a crouch, and began stacking dead leaves with one hand, picking up each one with two delicate, long fingers.

Light put his face in his hands, but his eyes were peeking out between his fingers, and they were gradually changing, looking more calculating, looking meaner. His innocence had been destroyed. He knew what he was. Various conflicts surged through his face.

L said, "I have intruded long enough. I am not needed here. I will go home."

Light said, "You would hate it if I tormented my father in the last hours I have, wouldn't you?"

"Light, I don't know what else you want from me."

Light replied, "I want you to witness my death. It's your fault. You caused it. So, you need to suffer the consequences. Otherwise, my father will suffer."

L turned around and looked at Light, with a completely blank expression on his face. He said, "Very well."

Light said, "How can you be so calm? You're such an unflappable bastard! No wonder you don't care about the victims of criminals, you just want to play your little games."

Light picked up a jagged rock in one hand, screamed, and ran toward L. Rem grabbed L and flew upward, hovering. The rock fell from Light's nerveless fingers in astonishment. His eyes and face radiated disbelief.

Light said, "You can fly!"

L said, "There are many things you don't know about me. I will go now to spend time with my girlfriend. I'll be back before your death. If I find you've been tormenting your father when I return, I will leave immediately."

Rem flew higher, sticking close to and avoiding the trees at the same time. It was harder to navigate without being able to phase through the branches, but Rem couldn't get very clear of the trees, or else people might be able to see a flying L. Even so, it was awkward, and Rem did manage to smack L into a few small branches, nothing bad, and she immediately apologized each time. When she was sure Light had been left so far behind he wouldn't be able to find L, Rem swooped down to a secluded place, a little circular area surrounded by bushes on all sides. There were a number of dead leaves collected in the middle.

As Rem set him down, L said, "Flying is very nice. We should do that at night, when it will be harder for anyone to see me."

Although his words held a tone of curiosity and happiness, L's face looked strained, sad. He settled down on the ground in a crouch and then kicked off his untied, worn-out shoes.

L said, "This is our first date, then, isn't it?"

Rem said, "Yes. What would you like to do?"

"I have never been on a date, and I do not think I would enjoy ordinary date activities. Why don't we just spend some time alone here?"

L pushed at the collected dead leaves, forming them into a shape, and then said, "I would like to cuddle. I think we can shield me from your coldness with leaves, so you can hold me a long time."

Rem said, "Light's upcoming death is bothering you a great deal, isn't it?"

L said, "This is harder than I thought it would be. Maybe I made a mistake. If I never suggested this, we could all be moving beyond Kira's death by now."

Rem moved into position, built up a layer of leaves between their bodies, and wrapped her arms around L. L let out a slow breath and relaxed forward into her, resting his forehead on her shoulder, his fluffy bangs protecting him from her iciness. He had his knees hugged to his chest with his own arms. Rem grew out her wings and used them to sweep in yet more dead leaves, wrapping her wings around L as well, cushioned by the leaves.

L said, "Yes, just like this. I feel very safe here."

"You are safe," Rem said, "if Light comes back again, I won't let him hit you even once."

"Rem," L said, "I want to make you into a human."

"What?"

L continued, "I mean, legally. I can create an identity for you, so that you're a human on paper. You would be able to earn money, possess property, vote, or do almost anything that humans have the legal right to do."

Rem gripped him tighter, feeling his steady breathing, his heartbeats. L was trying to help her, trying to treat her like she really mattered. He was giving her gifts. It was unexpected, and generous.

Rem said, "I'm grateful, but I'm not sure if I want any of those things. I don't need money, or physical objects, or land, and I don't really have any political opinions."

L said, "I know, but you're more like a human than most shinigami, and if you ever wish for any of those things, I want you to have the ability to act on your own, so you won't need to come to me to ask for every little thing. I don't want to force you to be dependent on me."

"That would be nice," Rem said, "as long as these things don't become burdens."

"I've already thought of that. I'll hire people to manage everything, so you won't have to spend any time bothering with money or property unless you want to."

L paused, and relaxed a little bit more into Rem's grasp. Then he said, "I think it would be easiest to make you a British citizen, like I am. You'll need two names, a first name and a surname. Most have middle names too, but it isn't a legal requirement. What would you like to be named?"

Rem said, "First name Rem, last name Jealous."

L said, "I would also like to offer you a job. Several jobs, actually. I can set it up so you're self-employed if you want. If you accept, it wouldn't take up too much time, and you could help humans."

"What is it?"

"Well," L said, "one of those jobs would be to work for me, especially doing surveillance, such as scouting out areas before I place cameras there. I'd also like help in locating people, since you can find anyone who's name and face you already know by using the viewing portals in the shinigami realm. And, I would like to show you photos and have you tell me if the people in them are dead or not. It can be enormously important in an investigation to know whether it is possible to recover live victims or not. The other job would definitely be self-employment, and you could collect extremely large fees. Remember that writing I showed you a few days ago?"

"Yes."

L said, "That writing is Indus script, from the earliest high civilization in what is now India and Pakistan. No human alive can read it. As a shinigami, you can speak and read all human languages. From that experiment, I know that you can even read dead languages. If you make those services available to clients, you can quickly get to the point where you are earning as much as I am. Plus, it would be an amazing contribution to human knowledge."

Rem thought about everything L had told her. He'd given her a life! She could do whatever she wanted, and she wouldn't be a dependent or feel useless. And, she did like humans, in general. Not humans like Light or Higuchi, but ordinary humans such as Matsuda or Sayu. It would be nice to help people, to perhaps make up a bit for all those lives she'd cut short.

Rem said, "Yes, I think I would like to do those things."

She cuddled him closer and said, "L."

L said, "You're calling me that because it's my real name and this is the first time we've been alone, away from cameras and those who can hear you. Isn't that correct?"

"Yes," Rem said, "I'm not supposed to reveal even just your first name to those who don't already know it. With you it is a bit of a gray area, since 'L' is also a nickname. If you let those around you call you 'L' then I could certainly call you that as well, but since they don't ever call you 'L' it might count as revealing part of your real name if I did it. It is possible it wouldn't kill me. I do bend rules, but I try to limit it. I won't risk my life for no reason."

L said, "I do not mind being called 'Ryuzaki.' I've been using it long enough that I sometimes think of it as my name. Even Watari uses it. It wouldn't do to have him accidentally call me 'L' in public."

They were silent for a time. The slightest breeze was present, but it was soft and comforting. It was a perfect autumn day, and the forest smelled wonderful. It was earthy, a compound fragrance of rich soil, moss and dead leaves. A few distant human voices could be heard, the excited high-pitched chatter of children interspersed with more measured adult voices. Probably a family climbing a path to one of the many shrines. Even through the leaves, Rem could feel L's body slowly releasing the tension in it, relaxing bit-by-bit and slumping into her.

The voices became closer, almost alarmingly close, and then passed by. Later, they were followed by another batch of voices running over the same track.

L looked up into the canopy and said, "Rem, could you find a nice place up in the trees for us to continue our date? Somewhere we can't be seen from the ground and no paths come close?"

Rem disengaged from L and leapt into the air. Soon, she found a place that was just perfect. She came back, got L, and carried him upward. When she deposited him in her chosen place, his face lit up. It was very high up, where the trunk of a tall, ancient tree suddenly split into many branches, creating a bowl-shaped depression more than large enough for one human and one shinigami. Plenty of dead leaves had collected in this large, multi-branched cleft, and in places thick moss of a startlingly intense green color showed from underneath the leaves.

L took a couple of steps, then crouched down and began swirling the leaves with his hands. He looked particularly playful and child-like. It was a perfectly hidden, magical little place, with thick branches spreading outward in every direction and then climbing up, leading the eye up to a roof of multi-colored leaves and patches of intensely blue sky overhead. The breeze at this height was stronger, and a constant swish could be heard of the wind rustling through the leaves and swaying branches. But, the thick trunk under the bowl-shaped depression was largely sturdy and so their location barely swayed at all.

In a quiet, even voice, L said, "It is nice in the trees. I should come up in them more often."

Just then, an unseen nearby bird began singing, a kind of high-pitched warbling full of "ki ki," "kyo kyo" and "hyo hyo" sounds. It was a piercing, beautiful call, haunting and repetitive. L cocked his head to one side and listened intently, his eyes shining with curiosity, half-hidden under strands of his dark hair.

Rem said, "Would you like me to get it for you?"

L nodded, so Rem jumped into the air, following the sound. When she found the bird, she clasped her hands around it, forming a kind of hollow space where it fluttered uselessly in a panic, and then she slowly moved her hands inward and changed her grip so the bird was held gently but firmly, unable to move. As she flew back to L, the bird pecked furiously at her hand.

L pet the bird's head as Rem held it, them carefully transferred it to his own hands. It was the only thing Rem had ever seen him hold without using his delicate grip of just a few fingers. The bird seemed calmer now, and no longer pecked. It had a kind of brownish-gray color with an overall tinge of drab green, and pale eyebrow-like marks above each eye.

L said, "I should have guessed. A hanami bird. I did not expect one to be singing so much when it isn't spring."

He tilted his head even more, looking at it with round dark eyes, like twin pools of ink. The expression on his face was almost reverent as he used a thumb to gently pet its head.

He said, "Can animals see you?"

"Some can. Cats almost always can. When Misa was making videos to be re-dubbed as Kira videos with her friend, so that her friend's fingerprints would be on them instead of her own, there was a cat there who always hissed at me and then ran to hide in a closet until I left."

L pet the bird for a bit longer, then released it, saying, "I don't want to scare it too much."

As L watched the hanami bird fly away, he said, "I swear Kira is trying to harm me, even though he doesn't have his memories."

Rem asked, "Are you sorry you came on this trip?"

"No, I'm not sorry," L said, "Kira is cruel, and Light is also cruel in his own way, and Kira and Light really are the same person. Light has always been superficial, acting the way he thinks will give him the best reputation in front of other people instead of acting from his heart. I've usually been the only one around him who sees through those masks he wears. He is exactly the sort of person who, if they turn to crime, become the worst variety of criminal. Light had the evil in him all along, the notebook just gave him a very powerful trigger to release it."

L paused and leaned back against a branch so thick that even two people wouldn't be able to encircle it with their arms. His eyes watched the leaves tossing in the wind high above his head. A couple of them came loose and drifted down, one coming into the bowl-like depression, the other continuing downward out of sight.

"But," L said, "there must be something very good in Light, or he would not have tried to help the world at such a risk to himself."

Rem said, "I do not like Light Yagami. I have never seen him do anything good. He is very selfish and hurtful."

"Rem, you said shinigami writings say that humans who have used a death note have an unusual fate after they die. Can you tell me exactly what was written? Or could you show me that book yourself?"

She replied, "There is a collection of all rules. Humans are not allowed to see it, and anyway it is written in one of the shinigami languages so I'd have to tell you what it said even if you could see it directly. There are two rules that mention some sort of afterlife for humans. It is not known if there is any afterlife for shinigami. One of those rules states that a human user of a death note will be unable to go to heaven or hell. The other says that all humans eventually die, and all of them go to Mu."

"I see," L said, "the rules seem to be contradictory. Why even mention a heaven or hell if such things don't exist? And, if everyone goes to Mu, then death note users have exactly the same fate as everyone else, which would negate the rule about them having a special fate."

L leaned his head backwards, looking up and pressing a thumb to his lower lip. He had a calculating look in his eyes, the little wheels in his brain turning, a pleased ghost of a smile gracing his lips. He said, "There are heavens and hells in many religions, including all the Abrahamic religions, Zoroastrianism and Buddhism. Additionally, there are quite a number of Pagan religions that have both a pleasant and an unpleasant afterlife, though their hells are often just boring places rather than places of torment."

Rem said, "Of those few shinigami who even care to puzzle it out, most believe it must mean there is no heaven or hell. I know Ryuk believes that."

"That would be one way to resolve that contradiction," L agreed, "but then, a completely pointless rule would exist. We could further resolve that by assuming that shinigami knowledge is flawed and unreliable, but then there would be no reason to believe any rule unless it had been tested as true."

L pulled his knees close to his chest and thought for a bit. Then, he said, "Rem, can you repeat that rule about 'Mu' in English, French, Arabic, and Russian?"

Rem complied, and L listened closely, fascination spreading across his face. When Rem finished, L said, "It is as I thought. The term you first used in Japanese, 'Mu,' must be something that is difficult to translate from the original shinigami language into human languages. Perhaps shinigami themselves have forgotten its meaning. In Japanese, it means 'no answer' or rather that you shouldn't be asking the question in the first place. Now, in the other languages you used, it mostly ended up being translated as 'nothingness' which could be taken to mean that the afterlife all humans end up in is a drab place of boredom and nothingness, like many ancient Pagan depictions of the afterlife, or it could be taken to mean that existence ends at death."

L paused and shifted his feet a bit, digging his long toes into the moss and leaves beneath him. He said, "However, I am intrigued by another possibility. None of the languages I know fluently have a good equivalent to the Japanese 'Mu' so perhaps that is the most accurate translation. In that case, it may be an admission of shinigami ignorance on the matter. If you're not supposed to ask the question, then perhaps it is because the answer is unknown."

Rem said, "The original shinigami term does have connotations of both nothingness and of being a place name."

L laughed and said, "I had thought that, if I ever met supernatural beings, I'd be able to figure out whether or not there was an afterlife and whether or not any particular religion might hold the truth. I was wrong. Even gods of death don't know the answer to the most important question humans have about death. Perhaps humans expect too much from the supernatural. We expect it to bring us all the answers, but instead it brings more questions."

Rem said, "What is your religion?"

L said, "Like most people in my range of intelligence, I don't really have one. I like to pick and choose my beliefs. It's hard enough to believe in the supernatural at all, but to conform to every detail of some religion's belief system, without thinking there are some big flaws, is completely against my style of doing things."

L paused. "However, as far as practicing instead of believing, I've wavered between Buddhism and Christianity for years. I lived here, in Japan, until my parents died. My mother was half-Japanese, half-European and my father was fully European, but both were Buddhists. Then, I ended up in a British orphanage that was technically Christian, but not at all strict, and my mentors did not want to turn me away from my childhood religion, so they arranged for me to continue to receive instruction in Buddhism."

L's hands dropped to sit next to his feet, and he began arranging the leaves there into patterns. He said, "I believe in ethical principles more than religions, but even there I'm flexible. I know I need to be realistic, or I won't get things done. I believe in justice, but, I'm like Light in that I don't entirely believe in the law."

Between a thumb and a forefinger, L held up a perfect fan of leaves in front of his face, alternating red-yellow-red-yellow. He studied it, as if it held all the answers he sought. "But, perverting the law as badly as Kira did is unquestionably wrong. For criminals to lose the right to be judged by society, and for the death penalty to have a very widespread application, it perverts ideals like social justice, personal accountability and constitutional governments. Democracy itself is threatened by one individual with that much power. Group decisions get replaced by an individual who is unwilling to admit he's ever been wrong."

"Well," Rem said, "Kira will be gone in just a few hours, and there's no possibility he could get a death note in that time, let alone the one that can restore his memories."

L looked sad and said, "But, with that passing, Kira will have already corrupted me."

"Are you talking about the way he's forcing you to witness his death?"

"Yes," L said, "he is making me confront a betrayal of my own principles. You see, I don't believe in the death penalty. There are many reasons to oppose it, and those societies that have more rights for criminals and more genuine chances for criminals to reform often create better results. That's one of the reasons I decided to take the Kira case. I did not want to see a world where the death penalty became common even in nations that had decided to rarely or never use it. But I'm being a hypocrite by using the death penalty on Kira, and he's making sure I can't forget it for a second."

"Surely," Rem said, "many of the criminals you've caught must have been sentenced to death? Even if it's a betrayal of your personal beliefs to sentence a criminal to death, you must have done it dozens of times before. Kira can't be too different."

L cleared his throat and said, "You are right, Rem. Despite my beliefs, many of the criminals I've caught have been executed once I handed them over. Mostly, I only handle cases that involve the loss of a lot of money, a lot of life, or both. Those murderers I've caught have usually killed so many people that they're lucky to get life in prison. Plus, I used the death of one criminal who was scheduled to be executed to narrow down Kira's identity, and I would have used two more to test the 13-day rule if that hadn't become unnecessary due to your actions. I justified it to myself by saying that they were going to die anyway, so if my tests went in one direction they'd live instead of dying, and if my tests went in the other direction they'd just have the same fate they'd already been sentenced to, except that it would end up helping my investigation too and potentially saving thousands of lives."

L itched one bare foot with the other and said, "It is particularly difficult with Light because I've never witnessed an execution before, and since it isn't a random criminal, but someone who was almost my friend. I wish I could have turned Kira over to the authorities, like the others, and then washed my hands of any responsibility."

L climbed up the side of the bowl-shaped depression, reached into the space between two branching tree limbs, and released his fan of red and yellow leaves, watching them swirl and flip in intricate patterns as they slowly fell to the ground.

Rem came up behind L and delicately stroked his hair. He was silent for a bit, and it seemed to her that his features relaxed slightly. L's eyes intently watched the forest spread out before him, flicking constantly between different instances of the ever-present falling leaves, like a continual magic rain of many colors.

L said, "Even though it's not me killing him, I feel like it is. I didn't even try to bargain with Ryuk to allow life imprisonment instead. Since I can't turn Light over to the authorities, if Ryuk had agreed I would have had to keep Light in my own custody, and I did not think I could do a good job of that with someone I'm so close to."

Rem said, "No, it never would have worked anyway. I think you've bribed Ryuk right up to his limit. Ryuk will do small favors for enough apples or amusement, but letting Light live out his natural lifespan would be a huge favor. If Ryuk isn't present to witness Light's death, Ryuk will die. Ryuk can't afford to take the risk he might wander off, lose track of the time, and fail to return to Light for that death."

"Do you think," L asked, "Ryuk will hesitate at the last moment and let Light live out of pity? Ryuk still hasn't written down anything."

"No, Ryuk thinks the very idea of a shinigami having feelings is ridiculous. Even if he has a few feelings for Light, he won't want to admit that to himself."

L's eyes lowered and he stared downward. He said, "Well, it would have been a useless thought to save Light in any case. If Light had been allowed to live, even in my custody in some kind of private jail, I'm sure Aizawa or Mogi would have gotten angry and leaked the truth to Interpol so they would be forced to arrest Kira."

"Come here," Rem said, pulling L toward her and then pushing him onto his back in the middle of the bowl-shaped depression, where the bottom was almost level.

Rem said, "You're trying to take on too much responsibility. The things you're thinking about are big issues that the entire world worries about. You don't have to add your thinking to all that. You should just do your best to forget about this, and let everything run its course. Stop thinking for today."

She pushed one hand underneath his shirt and started stimulating a nipple. She was rewarded by a shiver, two gasps, and a look of lust coming into L's eyes.

Rem said, "I think I would like to see the happiest face you can make. After all, this is a date. Aren't you supposed to get laid at the end of a date?"

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

For those readers who've been really sick of Misa - I've now essentially gotten rid of Misa, and there will be almost no Misa in the remainder. So yay!

Also, here's a little teaser highlight from a future chapter: soon it will be revealed that a canon minor character has been following most of what's been happening, unknown to the main characters. Feel free to guess who it is in reviews; I don't think it's likely anyone will guess correctly.

Also, L and Rem's conversation about Mu is inspired partly by an essay called "All Humans Go to Mu" found on the DeviantART journal of MrsJeevas.


	22. Vacation III

CHAPTER 22: VACATION III

L lay there, looking up at Rem with lust-clouded eyes, bits of dead leaves in his hair, moss and leaves underneath him at the flattened juncture of so many branches. His black, spiky hair was fanned out slightly around his head, his long-sleeved white t-shirt had both green and brown smears on it from the moss and the dirt, and his jean-clad legs were sprawled lazily, slightly spread, his knees crooked. Leaf-shaped patches of shadow ran back and forth across him constantly as the branches far above tossed in the breeze.

Then he closed his eyes, his incredibly dark eyelashes standing out starkly against his pale skin, and he leaned his head back, his chin jutting up and his strangely-shaped Adam's apple sticking out. Slowly, as Rem continued to rub his nipples with her ice-hold fingers, L's face drained of all tension, and he looked very serene. He was small and child-like, with his slender, spindly limbs. L looked fragile and brave at the same time, and Rem felt a strong desire to protect him, while simultaneously thinking she'd never seen such a beautiful human being.

Then, as L wriggled there under her touches, a smile came across his face, a real smile, not the ghost-of-a-smile kind of thing that sometimes played about his lips when he was amused. The real smile looked almost unnatural on him, as if his face wasn't shaped quite right to accommodate it. But, however unnatural it was, it was also pleasant. It made L look very sweet and innocent.

Then L said, in a husky, excited whisper, "Rem, I want you to hold me down and pleasure me until I can't take any more. I don't care if I'm sore for a week again. I want a dozen or so orgasms right now, right here, in this tree. It's a very nice day, isn't it?"

Rem replied, "It's a wonderful day."

And it was. The crisp but not too cool autumn air was exhilarating, the multicolored riot of leaves all around was beautiful, and the gentle, teasing breeze was just right, creating an almost musical rustling of swishing leaves and swaying branches. There was a lazy kind of feeling to the entire scene, as if they could take their time, stay forever, with nothing around them ever changing, the sun staying up, the weather remaining pleasant.

Leisurely, Rem withdrew her hands from L's shirt and considered how to best pin him down to limit his thrashing and bucking during his climaxes. Thankfully, the bowl-shaped depression where the tree trunk suddenly split into many branches was large enough that there was no real danger of L plummeting out of the tree. He was lying in an area that was almost flat from the considerable dead leaves collected there, surely with soil further down, and the branches ascending on all sides were too close to each other to admit a human body until they rose about three feet from the floor of the depression.

It was important to center L, and make sure he was comfortable. This was going to bruise anyway, but it would be best to not leave a bruise on his back as well as his chest. Rem gathered more leaves and stuffed them under L's body until he was well-cushioned, then straddled his knees to pin the lower half of his body and used one large hand that nearly spanned his entire chest to pin the upper half of him.

L made a kind of purring mumble, very cat-like in tone, and opened his eyes to lazily stare at her. His inky eyes shone with approval and lust. His expressions weren't as unreadable as they used to be. Either he was showing more emotion in front of her, or she was learning to read him better.

She could feel him shivering slightly, but it was probably from arousal rather than her coldness. There hadn't been enough time yet for her icy cold to seep through his clothing. He was certainly aroused. An erection was nudging the baggy crotch of his jeans upward, and his breathing rate had increased. Rem began to reach forward with her other hand, the one that wasn't pinning him down, and suddenly intense anticipation and need came into L's face as he watched her action. He wanted this so badly.

Rem decided L needed a little more than just a long string of orgasms, so she decided to take the beginning a bit slowly, to get him truly worked up first. She phased her hand, moving it inside his groin and orienting it just right, so she was reaching right into the midst of all the internal structures. Rem started by fingering along slowly, exploring, finding little places inside where she could materialize a fingertip and prod with such delicate little touches. L was moaning and sweating, staring up at her with wonder and need in his wide black eyes. When she was inside him, stimulating him so very directly, the tiniest, brushing touches were felt by him as extremely strong.

She was going right to the source, finding the root of his penis, inside his body, where nobody else could touch, and exploring along the entire network of complex structures strung between his prostate gland and penis. Rem could tell which ones were involved with the arousal process and which weren't because the erotic structures were engorged and swollen. Whenever she nudged any of them, however slightly, she provoked such delicious reactions in L, such pleased vocalizations and beautiful, intense facial expressions. His body was a musical instrument that she was learning to play, beginning to know how to make it respond just the way she wanted. He was bucking and rocking underneath her as she pleasured him.

In a strained, husky voice, L said, "Make me come, Rem, make me come."

Rem made sure she had him pinned securely, and then reached for that surefire way to give him an instant orgasm, the prostate gland. She materialized her fingertips just around it, cradling it gently, and then gave it the tiniest squeeze. L's eyes went very wide and he gasped out, "Rem!"

At the same moment, his back arched and his chest slammed upward into her other hand, his body twitching, his face glowing with the intensity of his orgasm, his lips red and his cheeks flushed an incredible rosy pink. His body jerked in a rhythm before limply subsiding, and he looked so very pleased. His fingertips were buried deeply in the thick green moss to either side of him.

L lay his head on its side, looking almost sleepy, and chuckled. He was giddy. His face was perfect and beautiful. It was so wonderful to see this kind of pleasure in a human. L was Rem's little miracle. He put on this secret show just for her, and in return, she gave him a kind of inhuman bliss.

He said, "It's so good. What you can do is just... unbelievable. I wish you could feel it."

L lay there a bit longer, basking in the afterglow, the slightest breeze just barely stirring a few strands of his spiky black hair. Then he said, "Do it again!"

Rem obliged, and L was instantly a shuddering, moaning mess, intense flashes of feeling moving through his face as he tossed his head from side to side and his heels drummed behind her and his fingers dug up gobs of moss and his chest tried so desperately to surge upward. His eyes were fixed on hers even as his head moved, and they had never looked deeper. They were filled with something extreme, a kind of attachment. Being in love, perhaps?

Then, before the last twitches left his body, he roared, "Do it!"

Rem gave his prostate a gentle squeeze. The intensity hadn't left his face yet from the previous orgasm, and the new surge coming into his face built on that, starting to move his facial expression into that inhuman range, the bliss so extreme that his face no longer seemed quite natural. It was getting there, to that state far beyond ordinary bliss, and the bucking and surging movements were even more intense than before.

This time, when L relaxed, he went into a series of soft giggles. He sounded drunk, but his eyes were sparkling, and gazing at Rem with stark adoration. Rem drank in the sight, his face, his eyes, his whole body radiating the signs of being languid, relaxed, pleased. He was sprawled there perfectly trusting, willing, begging her with his eyes to do him some more, and then, in a few moments, his voice was begging as well so she obliged once again, drinking in the sights and the sounds of L's orgasm, imprinting them on her memory.

With repeated cycles, L was sinking into the experience, losing himself, recovering less during each between-orgasms state. He truly appeared quite drunk, drunk on happiness, as he slowly wriggled in pleasure and asked her to do it again and again, often shouting out, "Yes," at his very peak, as he surged and arched within her grasp.

Then, the recovery periods were getting longer. L seemed almost stunned, with periodic trembling fits, but he just kept asking for more even though he was now spacing the orgasms out. Rem hadn't been keeping track, but she was sure he was approaching twenty. He was certainly at least in the lower teens.

One time, right after he said, "Do it!" Rem heard a scraping noise behind and somewhat below her. She stopped and listened. It was getting closer, ascending the tree. A squirrel? L cocked his head to the side and listened as well. His eyes were glassy, and his limbs were shivering so slightly it was almost imperceptible. Rem turned to look behind her as the sound continued to ascend.

Suddenly, Light's head popped up in the space between two branches.

L looked directly at him, and said, "You!"

Light said nothing, but continued up and in no time was clambering into the bowl-shaped depression. Rem made herself immaterial and moved back from Light at the same time.

L said, "Don't touch me!"

L got up and scrambled backwards on shaking legs, going up and outward onto a branch. He said, "If you don't stop right there, I'll fly away again."

L's eyes were crackling with an angry energy. Rem positioned herself to grab L and fly away with him, but Light stopped.

Light said, "I heard your voice. Other people did too, but I was the only one who figured out your location. It took forever to climb this tree."

L said, "Light, why are you here?"

"I wasn't sure you'd return. Besides, the answers you gave me didn't have any details at all."

L said, "Light, you are a stupid mass murderer and you lost. The only thing you will still get from me is to force me to watch your death, and you'll only get that if you don't threaten me any more. I don't care about your father this much. I will go home."

Anger and panic flashed through Light's face in several cycles. Finally, Light said, "Fine. But you have to stay like you said you would. No more running off by yourself. What were you doing all the way up here?"

L pointed at the damp patch on the front of his jeans and said, "You're a genius, why didn't you figure it out at soon as you saw me? I was masturbating."

Light turned red.

L said, "I'm going to fly down. I'll wait for you at the base of the tree. I'm sure you can climb down since you managed to get up."

Rem grabbed L and jumped off the tree.

Light said, "Hey! Carry me too!"

L replied, "Sorry, I can't carry another person."

When Rem deposited L on the forest floor, he looked upward with an almost-smile on his lips, watching Light struggle to descend. L still had a face that was shining and flushed from his many orgasms, and his eyes held a look that was odd even for L. After amusing himself for a bit watching Light, L began roaming around the base of the tree. Soon he found a damp patch on the forest floor, not exactly a puddle, but quite wet and choked with moss and dead leaves. He pressed himself into it and rolled around, making quite a mess of himself.

Rem said, "What is that for?"

L said, "It is not appropriate for a man to appear in public with an obvious semen stain, especially around a girl Sayu's age. Watari might not find me until after someone has seen me. Now I have damp patches everywhere, so it should not be obvious that the one in my crotch is any different."

Then L got on his cellphone and talked to Watari about bringing a clean set of clothes, and where to meet. By the time L finished with that, Light was halfway down the tree. L looked up again, watching Light with a feral cat-like expression, just like a cat that has grabbed a morsel it likes and won't let go.

L said, "I did win against Kira, didn't I? I couldn't have done it at all without you, and I also had plenty of help from the investigation team, but I still won."

Rem looked up at the slender, beautiful teenage boy who was cursing as he awkwardly descended and said, "Yes. You won, and Kira lost."

L nodded to himself, and in an absent tone of voice, as if it didn't matter at all, he said, "Another closed case for L."

Then he crouched down and meticulously arranged and re-arranged the leaves by his feet as he waited for Light. L's entire body was still displaying the after-effects of his orgasms, especially his face and eyes. His cheeks were pink, his face was oddly, almost unnaturally, serene, and his eyes had a feverish look that was somehow hyper and languid at the same time.

When Light reached the bottom of the tree, L got up, put his hands in his pockets and started walking down the hill, stooped over in his usual slouch. His gait was just a bit shaky. He said, "Light, don't try to attack me from behind. I have eyes in the back of my head."

Rem took the hint and watched Light closely. Light did nothing except try to brush the various forest debris from his clothing and hair, and then quietly followed after L.

As Light and L descended the hill and emerged from the trees into the park proper, Ryuk swooped in to join them. He said, "Hey there, Light. Sorry I ran off by myself for a little while, but you wouldn't believe how many outdoor fruit vendors there are just a bit west of here. I had to spend quite a lot of time waiting just so they wouldn't see me swiping their stuff."

L glanced at Ryuk briefly, but Light, of course, was completely oblivious.

Ryuk scratched his neck and said, "Sometimes it's hard to believe he can't hear me. I just got so used to talking with him."

L and Light only got a little distance into the park when the rest of the Yagami family saw them. Sayu squealed and ran at them, then she stopped abruptly and looked both of them over. Her eyes took in the fragments of leaves in their hair, the dirt scuffs on their clothing, and the wet patches all over L. Light was in considerably better shape since he hadn't dirtied himself on purpose and had actually tried to clean up. L was still a bit unsteady on his feet, and his eyes had an odd look in them.

Sayu said, "What happened to you two? You look like you were rolling around on the ground."

L replied, "We saw a huge pile of leaves and tried to play in it, but it was dirtier and damper than we thought."

Sayu said, "You got Light to do that? Wow, I'm really envious."

Light said, "Yes, we're very good friends."

Sayu got a twinkle in her eye and said, "Ryuzaki, now you'll have to buy new clothing. I'm sure the shops are still open."

L said, "Actually, my butler will arrive in just a few minutes with clean clothing for me. I assume we're returning to the food court soon for the evening meal?"

"Yes," Sachiko said, "we'll watch the sunset from there, and then go home."

She gestured toward the west, where the sky was already turning red even though the outdoor illumination was still as bright as day. Right at the horizon, a few bright flickers of the sun could just be seen poking out from a mass of trees.

Light focused on that horizon longer than anyone else, a creeping horror coming into his face.

Soon, the Yagami family had settled down in the same food court as lunch for another meal, and L was wearing a clean outfit, but he still had a few bits of dead leaves in his hair. It was much quieter without Misa. Ryuk mostly stood behind Light, indulging in one-way chatter, and L barely picked at his food, not eating much, and not even interested in arranging it much.

L still radiated a kind of bliss, and the last remains of his intense flush from earlier had not yet faded from his face. L's eyes had a stunned, glassy look, and he did not focus on his surrounding much at all. He was acting odder than ever. When L leaned his head against his knees and hummed happily to himself in a drunken kind of way, Light went over to him, yanked his head up, looked directly into his eyes and said, "What is wrong with you? Are you on drugs? Is that what you really did when you said you were going to see your made-up girlfriend?"

L gave Light a little half-smile that did look positively drugged and said, "You're just jealous that my girlfriend is better than your girlfriend. My girlfriend could kick the snot out of you, just like I can."

Light face twisted into a snarl, and he said, "That's because you have stupid... stuff... that doesn't make sense. Otherwise, I would have beaten you in the forest."

Sachiko said, "Please don't fight, boys. I'm sure we can all get along. Ryuzaki, we can take you home if Light doesn't behave himself."

L said, "I would like to go home."

"No!" Light said, "I forbid it."

"See?" L said half-mournfully, "he won't let me go home."

Then L leaned his head against his knees once more and hummed a quiet little happy tune that was just a bit crazy.

Sayu frowned, looked at her brother and said, "I don't know what it is between you two, but you're way too obsessed with him. Can't you see you're scaring Ryuzaki?"

"No," L said, "he is not scaring me, and my desires don't matter. We will do what Light wants. I will be quiet from now on."

Sachiko said, "Ryuzaki, are you sure? We don't want to make anything unpleasant for you."

L said, "I will stay."

Sayu walked over to stand by L, with a protective look on her face. She absently used one hand to smooth his hair.

She said, "Light, you're going to be nice and stop bothering him. Otherwise, I'll get in a fight with you, and you'll hate it because I fight dirty. I have those twisting pinches that leave horrible bruises, remember? Just because I haven't done it in a few years, don't think you're safe."

Sachiko held out some money and said, "Sayu, would you run back to the food vendors and see if they still have that fresh mochi with red bean and peach jam inside? Buy as many pieces as you can with this."

"Yes, Mom." Sayu said, and took the money.

As soon as Sayu had run out of sight, Sachiko turned to Soichiro and said, "I know something is going on, and I think I can guess. You know it, Light knows it and Ryuzaki knows it. Would you like to tell me?"

Soichiro said nothing, but a horribly stricken look came into his face.

Sachiko's look of concern and sadness deepened. She said, "Something went wrong with the investigation, didn't it? Are both of you dying?"

L said, "We believe Kira scheduled Light's death for this evening. Your husband is completely safe. Someone on the investigation team performed an action that saved his life. We cannot tell you more because it is classified information."

Sachiko bowed her head and closed her eyes. Her hands, resting in her lap, held each other and tightened. Light came over to his mother and put an arm across her shoulders.

In a quiet voice, Sachiko said, "I've been preparing for this, expecting this, for a long time. But, Light is so young."

After a pause, she said, "Do you know the time of death?"

L glanced at Ryuk, and Ryuk said, "Oh, I guess I'll wait until they take him home. Light may as well die where he's comfortable, not in some stupid park."

L said, "We think there is enough time left to take Light home. Mrs. Yagami, I want you to know that your husband will never be in danger of being killed by Kira. I can't tell you why, and you must never leak this information, but we believe both Kiras have been neutralized and we just need a couple of months to tie up loose ends before shutting down the investigation. I'm sure you've seen the headlines about the Kira murders ceasing this last week. It will be your husband's choice whether he returns to the task force or not, but if he does he'll only be doing a bit of paperwork. He will not be risking his life."

Sachiko nodded, and a grim look of resignation came into her face. She said, "Then, when Sayu returns, we will leave."

There was only silence between the humans then, though Ryuk made a few crass comments about Light's upcoming death. Light continued to grasp his mother's shoulders, and his eyes were wider and rounder than Rem had ever before seen. He kept looking at the sky, as if the spreading red along the horizon were some kind of death clock. Soichiro shuffled his feet a lot and kept nervously clearing his throat, especially in response to Ryuk's comments. Soichiro would not look at Light.

A sudden outburst from Light broke the silence. In a pained, angry voice, Light said, "What I did, it had to have been right. I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't right. You know that, don't you, Dad? Don't you?"

Soichiro said, "Kira is a deluded individual. Violence can't be solved by killing more people. Society has a right to decide what to do with its criminals, as a joint decision. Kira was corrupted by a power no human should have."

Light was looking all around, at the ground, at the sky, at the trees in the distance. He didn't look at his parents at all.

Light said, "I didn't do anything wrong. Whose fault is this? What happened? It wasn't my fault."

L said, "It was my fault for handling things the way I did. If I'd completed the surveillance loop early in the investigation, so there were no holes at all, no way for Kira to secretly kill, Kira would be dead and you would be alive, Light."

Soichiro said, "Light, I raised you to accept responsibility for your actions. Please do not make this harder. There is nothing I or anyone else can do about it now."

Sweat was beading on Soichiro's forehead and his eyes held an expression that was both strained and kind-hearted at the same time.

"But," Light said, "this shouldn't be happening. It wasn't my fault."

Sachiko said, "There will be no more talk of this. It is the wrong time to lay blame."

"But.." Light started, when Sachiko stopped him with a gentle shushing noise and a finger laid tenderly against his lips.

Sachiko said, "Whatever went wrong with the investigation, it does not matter now. We should value the time we have left and be grateful only one person was killed instead of everyone."

Then Sachiko was stroking the side of Light's head, petting his hair softly, while Light's eyes went round and frightened, focused on the red in the sky. She was still doing it when Sayu arrived.

Sayu said, "Obviously, I'm the life of the party. Look how gloomy you get when I'm gone for just a few minutes! Well, I've got plenty of fresh mochi for everyone. That should cheer you up."

As she handed out the treats, L said, "Light, this is your last chance to decide. Do you really want me home with you this evening?"

Light gave L a quick angry look and said, "Of course I do. You're my best friend."

And then, in a slightly quieter voice that held a hint of a sinister tone, Light said, "Ryuzaki, you're the only friend I've had who's ever been able to tell when I was lying."

The trip home was uneventful, with very little talking in the car except from Sayu. She continuously teased the others about how quiet and gloomy they were being. Soichiro and Light did not meet eyes at all. Soichiro's face had a set, painful expression. Toward the end of the trip, L drew Sayu's teasing away from the others by getting her involved in a detailed conversation about chess.

As soon as everyone entered the Yagami house, Light got out a chess set, put it on the coffee table in the living room, and said, "I'd like to play against Ryuzaki."

Light's mother sat next to him on the couch, and L settled into a chair he scooted up to the opposite side of the coffee table. After the game had gone on for just a few minutes, Light reached out and grabbed L's wrist as he was trying to move a piece.

Light said, "You're trying to let me win. Stop it. Play for real."

And then, the game continued, but Rem didn't really watch it; she looked at the humans. Light didn't accuse L of trying to throw the game any more, and both men had focused expressions on their faces. L had a calm focus, like when he arranged his food, but Light had a kind of angry, desperate focus. Ryuk wasn't following the game either; he kept chattering to Light about various things, mostly fun moments they'd shared in this very house.

Finally, Ryuk said, "How long does this game go? Well, Light, I think it's time."

L's demeanor changed suddenly. It was subtle, but Light picked up on it immediately, and looked at his father to see a horrible expression on his father's face. Light glanced frantically around the room in a panic, as if he thought he would be able to see his death approaching and fend it off.

Ryuk continued, "It was fun, Light, wasn't it? I only have one regret. I really wish I could have told you Ryuzaki's real name. It's hilarious. We would have had a good laugh over that one."

Then Ryuk opened his death note and wrote in it. As soon as he was done, he said, "Just as we agreed, Ryuzaki, it's painless. Light will fall asleep very quickly and then he'll stop breathing."

A drowsy look was already coming into Light's eyes. He was blinking constantly, and vigorously shook his head a few times, but the sleepiness was overtaking him relentlessly. He began sinking backwards into the couch, then rested his head on his mother's shoulder before violently snapping his head upright again.

L said, "Light, there is something in you that is very good, very noble."

Light's head was flopping helplessly onto his mother's shoulder, his eyes closing and opening jerkily as he tried to resist sleep. One last time, his eyes came fully open and he looked straight at L. He said, "You're a liar, Ryuzaki."

Then Light's eyes closed for the last time and he slumped to his mother's side. He was sleeping, so peacefully, his face composed and beautiful, every muscle relaxed and content. He looked angelic. Then, after a few minutes, everything in his body went slack and the breathing stopped. Light's mother and father shook him, tried to restart the breathing and called the paramedics.

From then on, it was chaos, and screaming, and sobbing, and the ambulance workers walking in and out, and a breathing machine hooked up to Light with tubes everywhere, and the entire time L stood well off to the side, never venturing close to Light's body as Sayu, Sachiko and Soichiro did. Finally, the paramedics gave up on resuscitating Light in the house and hauled him away. Rem wasn't sure whether Light was being taken to the morgue or to the hospital for further attempts, but she did know he was dead. His name and lifespan were gone, and the death note never failed.

The surviving family members stayed back, bowing their heads, holding hands. L tried to quietly slip away at that moment but Soichiro's head snapped up and he said, "Ryuzaki!"

L turned to look back and said, "Chief Yagami, you do not need to return to work until you feel you are ready. I will make sure you receive honors even though the exact nature of your contribution can never be revealed to your superiors."

Soichiro sighed and said, "I don't deserve to be a cop at all, much less receive special honors. I failed miserably. I could have been more helpful. If I'd been smarter, sooner, the case would have been closed long before now."

"On the contrary," L said, "you've gone far beyond what should be asked of any cop or parent. Do not quit the force, unless it is a temporary measure to receive a long paid vacation and recover from your ordeal. And, if you had realized more of the true solution sooner, I'm sure you would have died then."

L left the house, Ryuk trailing behind him, and Watari immediately pulled up outside. As L climbed into the car, he said to Ryuk, "Your apples are in room 154B at headquarters. You can get them now."

Ryuk looked befuddled, and kept scratching at his body, mostly the side of his neck and the middle of his chest. He lingered in the car as Watari pulled away.

Finally, Ryuk said, "It's hard to believe he's gone. I keep feeling like I could just go back to his house and everything would be like it was before."

Ryuk paused to itch himself restlessly some more, then said, "This is uncomfortable. What is this?"

L quietly said, "I suspect you have feelings for Light."

"Feelings!" Ryuk scoffed.

But Ryuk continued to look mournful and uncomfortable for the entire trip back. He could have easily flown directly to headquarters to get his apples sooner, but he didn't. Even when L arrived and made his way through the security checkpoints into the building, Ryuk stuck to him instead of going ahead.

As they got on the elevator and L began ascending to his suite of rooms, Ryuk said, "What is left for me now? The shinigami realm? Apples? It isn't enough."

Rem said, "Perhaps if you spend time in the human realm, you can find another human to love. I successfully found another when Misa was unsuitable. I still love her, but I don't think I should even see her much any more. Like you, I've been cut off from a human I love."

Ryuk began jumping uncomfortably from one foot to another.

"What is this?" Ryuk said, "It's like something is broken inside me."

Ryuk grabbed L by the shoulders and looked directly into his face from a few inches away. Then Ryuk said, "You're smart. Tell me what to do. How do I make this better?"

L said, "I'm not someone who can help you. If you want, I can arrange for you to see a psychiatrist. That's how humans fix these things but I'm not sure it would work the same way for a shinigami."

Rem smiled as she tried to imagine how a psychiatrist would react to counseling Ryuk. Especially about the topic of him killing his mass-murdering friend.

Ryuk asked, "Will a psychiatrist show me how to stop having feelings?"

"No," L said, "a psychiatrist would merely show you how to deal with the feelings you already have."

"That's no good," Ryuk said, "I need to be rid of these things."

Rem said, "The shinigami king might know, but if he's not in a helpful mood, perhaps Nu knows a way. You've got the perfect bribe for her now, so you can get information out of her as long as you aren't noisy."

Ryuk said, "The old man isn't going to help me. He's going to be angry about that trick I played on him for the next century."

Ryuk began growing out the feathers on his shoulders into huge, black wings. Just as he crouched to launch himself through the ceiling, Rem grabbed his arm and said, "If you kill Ryuzaki, or do anything that would lead to his death, I will find a way to torment you for it."

Ryuk said, "Oh, don't worry. He's special. I'd like to see what happens to him."

Ryuk's eyes were following the crack that wormed its way slowly through L's name and lifespan. Then Ryuk let loose an evil little chuckle and flew through the ceiling.

L said, "Ryuk sounded like he had something specific in mind. What is special about me?"

Rem said, "I would like to tell you, but it's too closely associated with your name and lifespan. I can't risk that it might kill me."

"It's associated with my name and lifespan? If it were just the lifespan, I would suspect that my remaining time was either unusually short or unusually long, but I'm not sure how to figure this out. What could be odd enough about my name that a shinigami thinks it is special?"

Rem said, "I researched it, and I wasn't able to find out much but I was led to believe it wasn't important."

L replied, "You must have researched it in the shinigami realm. I already have a low opinion of shinigami knowledge."

Rem agreed, completely unaware that, within a week, L's opinion of shinigami knowledge would sink to an entirely new low.

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

Well, the big cliffhanger finally came. Ryuk killed Light, but now he's all sad about it. But, there are still additional consequences to Ryuk's action. I won't say whether Light will somehow be back or whether it will merely be Light's scheme that intrudes, but, one way or another, the main characters aren't finished with Light in the way they thought they were finished.

In this chapter, I really wanted to show Sayu and Sachiko to be smarter and more assertive than in Death Note canon, where they aren't given much to do. I wanted to have Sachiko cut off Light's attempt at a Hannibal Speech (even though innocent!Light can't rant anything like Kira!Light can) and I wanted to have Sayu threaten to beat up Light in order to protect L.

Anyway, love the reviews! Thank you so much for appreciating what is essentially a crack pairing gone over to the good side. I just have this weak spot for trying to make crack pairings work (or, in my humor fics, for trying to make them even crackier than they already are, but either way, I can't seem to resist writing about them).


	23. Emergency I

CHAPTER 23: EMERGENCY I

Matsuda came to work the next day with red-rimmed eyes and behaving as if he had a hangover. He kept a box of tissues next to him constantly, blew his nose a lot, and made frequent trips to the bathroom that often lasted quite a while. All of the task force members were quiet and subdued, and Soichiro was not present. L received a message saying that Soichiro had returned to the NPA. He couldn't just sit at home, he was used to working, and he didn't want to go back to the building where his son had spent the last months of his life. Ryuk was back towards noon, and he was looking untroubled, even smug, if Rem was reading him right. She cornered him in his apple-eating room and asked what had happened.

Ryuk said, "Oh, Nu was very helpful."

But then he refused to go into any details. Did Nu know some way for shinigami to rid themselves of their emotions? If so, it might prove useful. Rem knew she might very well need that service in a couple of decades, when L's lifespan was scheduled to run out. If she didn't kill herself to save him, she would be devastated afterwards. But, there was also something incredibly terrifying about not being able to feel. Maybe it would be best to die for L, if it was an attacker that was fated to kill him. If it was going to be diabetes or something, Rem wouldn't have that choice.

Over that day, the task force members worked on the report for Interpol and spent a lot of time brainstorming about anything that could possibly go wrong with it. It was very important to present Higuchi as the first Kira, and to present the second Kira as an unknown person who had most likely committed suicide when they took over the judgments in Higuchi's absence and then realized they didn't have the stomach for killing so many people.

The other task was getting Misa committed to an insane asylum for the rest of her life. L had a good plan, to be launched during a live television interview about Misa's upcoming movie. It fit exactly with Ryuk's kind of humor, so it only took a small bribe to get him to do the deed.

Rem couldn't watch something so cruel. She went out flying during the live broadcast and didn't return for hours. But, then, she kept seeing stuff about it on the covers of magazines and hearing snatches of conversation about it on the streets, so before two days had passed she just had to know, to see it directly. L showed her the recording. It was sad, but not as devastating as Rem had feared.

Ryuk made himself visible to Misa during her live interview and terrorized her, chasing her around the stage and bullying her into threatening to kill herself and also claiming that she'd poisoned the interviewer's coffee. L made sure that the coffee falsely tested positive for poison when it was examined. With that one event, Misa had established in front of a rather large audience that she hallucinated, that she was a danger to herself, and that she was a danger to others. These would not be easy facts to erase or gloss over. And, L would continuously bribe her psychiatrists to say she hadn't improved enough to be let out of the insane asylum.

Rem only toured the place once. It was beautiful, like a mansion inside and out, and the staff all looked kind and unstressed. The gardens outside were lush, full of fountains and flowers and wide green lawns where asylum inmates played frisbee or relaxed with sun umbrellas and lemonade. It didn't look anything like a prison, or like a nasty insane asylum. Rem found Misa sitting in an overstuffed yellow chair in front of an ornate window, like something out of an old-world library, a window that had a decorative trim of stained glass designs around the edges and was nearly as tall as two regular stories.

Misa looked sad, but composed, and she had a therapy cat on her lap, a trained animal used to help relieve stress and increase mental stability. The cat had white fur with orange patches scattered here and there, and its eyes were an intense green. It was one of the most perfectly calm animals Rem had ever seen. It turned its head lazily to look exactly at Rem, following Rem with its eyes, totally unafraid as Rem drew close. Rem stood over Misa for some time, perhaps ten minutes, perhaps half an hour, completely silent.

Then Rem said, "Goodbye, Misa. You were a mistake of mine. I'm not rational with you, so it is best if we're apart. I do not understand why I love you, but I feel it even now. It is partly because of you I've seen the truth that I need in life. I need to seek love that helps me, not love that is destructive. I'm very sorry that you could not have done the same."

Then Rem left, and she never saw Misa alive again.

L's first visit to the shinigami realm was six days after Light's death. He quizzed Rem in great detail about the few times she'd seen gods of death bring animals to the shinigami realm. She'd never seen a human there, though she'd heard a few vague rumors of it; nothing detailed or certain. None of the pets had lived longer than a couple of weeks, though that was most likely because shinigami tended to forget about things like feeding and watering animals. Rem did remember one shinigami who had a lizard pet and tried to give it seawater to drink.

L didn't take any chances. He wore a full biohazard suit and brought along his own air supply. He'd also been warned not to show his face to shinigami at all if he could help it. Many of them were too lazy to even go to the viewing portals to kill humans, and if they happened to remember his name and face when they were in the middle of a card game and needed some lifespan, L would die of a heart attack. Rem also told L that gods of death might get interested in his "condition" and cause trouble with the shinigami king if they could see his name and lifespan.

When L arrived, the first thing he did was set out a bunch of lightweight equipment he'd brought along and then took some samples of the sand, the air, and some vegetation in little vials. He took readings from a lot of instruments, and had Rem fly him up inside the perpetual thick fog bank that was the only sky, so he could take readings and samples from there too. Then he returned home and did more tests. Within a few hours, he told Rem that the air was fully breathable and there was no life whatsoever, no microorganisms at all. Even the vegetation didn't seem to be alive by normal standards. It read as having no water content and, when crushed, turned into something like sand.

L sent off samples to various labs to be further examined by experts, and then immediately returned with Rem to the shinigami realm, this time wearing his usual clothing and a close-fitting simple mask of white plastic, with eye holes and a mouth hole. On this trip he was determined to interview as many shinigami as possible. L wasn't allowed to see or speak with the shinigami king. He wasn't even allowed to receive a description of the shinigami king's appearance. Any shinigami who told him that would die. But anyone other than the king was fully accessible. They just needed to touch their death notes to L in order to become visible and audible.

Some of the gods of death were immensely curious about Rem bringing a pet human and gathered around him to look. Midora plainly told her, "Oh, that's cute, but don't you know he'll die soon? Living creatures always die here."

There were other shinigami who couldn't be less interested, particularly some of the card game addicts. Rem had a great deal of trouble getting them to even look in L's direction, let alone touch him with their death notes. L decided to leave most of them for another day.

Then, when L had gotten to the point where about half of all shinigami were visible to him, Ryuk approached, with a shinigami following him that Rem had never seen before. The new shinigami was one of the more human-shaped ones, with a skeletal theme and wearing some clothing. Ryuk's smile was incredibly smug.

When the new shinigami stepped out from behind Ryuk, and Rem got a good look at its face, she saw the name "Quiv" and the longest lifespan she'd ever seen. She tried to do a quick calculation from shinigami time into human years. About 100,000 years? Could that be right? How had a newborn shinigami killed so many humans, so quickly?

Rem said, "There is a new shinigami there, behind Ryuk."

L snapped to attention immediately. He said, "I'm particularly interested in that one. How often do new shinigami appear?"

"Oh, I think about once every hundred years or so. It used to be more frequent when I was younger."

Rem paused, and then, as Ryuk and the new shinigami came almost right to them, she protectively placed herself halfway in front of L. She said, "Be careful. This new shinigami has killed a lot of humans."

Quiv said, "I haven't killed anyone."

Then Quiv looked down at L and said, "That's a human? I thought those things were supposed to have names and lifespans."

Ryuk said, "It's because he's wearing a mask. Go ahead; touch him with your death note. I think you'll find it interesting to talk with him."

Quiv shrugged in a noncommittal kind of way, but he stretched out one hand with his death note and tapped L's head gently.

Quiv leaned down, so his white, skull-like face and glowing red eyes were on the same level as L's head.

Quiv said, "Hi, I'm Quiv. I understand you're a human? Is that interesting?"

Without waiting for a reply, Quiv sat down on the sand below him, looked at the sky in an immensely bored way, and let out a sigh.

L still wasn't saying anything, but just kept looking, his eyes almost hidden by the mask.

Finally, L whispered, "Ryuk, why is Quiv wearing Light's tie as a headband? Did you give it to him, or..."

Ryuk said, "Humans are so interesting! I thought you might figure it out."

Rem asked, "What?"

Ryuk laughed heartily and then said, "When I asked Nu to help me, she had a theory. She thought that perhaps humans who use death notes become shinigami when they die, but the last time she paid attention to anything like that, the times didn't match up. However, there were a few situations when a human killed an immense number of other humans and a new shinigami appeared almost immediately after that death note user died. Nu thought that perhaps the shinigami body forms fastest for those who kill the most, so that the usual death note user, who only kills perhaps three or fewer people, would take centuries to appear as a shinigami."

L said, "And you searched, and found Light immediately because he killed so many. What do you plan to do now, Ryuk?"

Rem said, "Are you sure this is true, Ryuk?"

Ryuk said, "Look at his lifespan! Have you ever seen anything like it? Light was a killer like no other. He killed off most of the world's major criminals in just the first five days he had his death note, and he tended to kill twenty or more each day from then on, until he gave up ownership about six months later. That's a lot of killing."

Rem said, "Then, Misa will be here! And, she'll be a death god!"

The thought stirred hope and despair in her at once. That Misa would continue to live after her seven-year lifespan ran out, that was a happy thought. But, on the other hand, shinigami did not have a pleasant existence. Although, most of them weren't that unhappy or that bored. If you really felt things that strongly, you'd do something about it. Most shinigami just didn't care enough, feel enough, for even their own boredom to be too unpleasant. Misa might be caught in a world of unfeeling numbness, neither happy nor unhappy.

L asked, "Is Higuchi here yet?"

Ryuk replied, "Nope. He killed a lot, but he was kind of lazy and he was at it for a shorter time. Maybe a couple more weeks? I don't know how to crunch the numbers on this."

Ryuk paused and sat on the ground next to Quiv, then continued, "I bet it'll be ages before Raye Penber appears. You know, L, Light tricked Raye into writing his co-workers' names on some death note paper."

Quiv said, "Is this the human you spoke of, Ryuk?"

Ryuk said, "Yeah, this is the great detective, L Lawliet."

Rem said, "Ryuk, I told you I'd torment you if you did anything that would lead to L's death."

Ryuk replied, "Yeah, I know, but, how could I possibly resist telling Light his own history?"

Rem turned to Quiv, to Light, and said, "That goes for you too. If you kill L, I will discover a way to make your life unpleasant. I don't care what it is or how long it takes me to discover it. Once I find out how, I will punish you to the end of your life."

L said, "Ryuk, you still haven't answered my question. What do you plan?"

"Oh," Ryuk said, "I've already done it. I told Light everything about his history. I even dragged him over to a viewing portal and had him look at most of the task force before he got bored and wandered away. He could kill everyone except you and Mogi right now if he wanted to. But I told him that, if he decided on that plan, it would be no fun unless he went to the human world and killed in person. From now on, I'm just going to watch him and see what he does."

L said, "Then, Light, what do you plan to do?"

Light said, "My name is Quiv. I want to sit down for a long time, but Ryuk keeps making me get up and taking me places. He says it will get interesting eventually."

L said, "Do you plan to kill anyone?"

Light said, "I don't know. I think I might kill you, since you were my enemy. If my former self put so much energy into trying to kill you, I really ought to complete it, I suppose. I'm not afraid of Rem's threat. If I had her following me around and bothering me, perhaps things wouldn't be so boring. The others who chased Light, maybe I should kill them too. It might make me feel a sense of accomplishment."

Then, L launched into a long conversation with Light and Ryuk where he tried to bribe them into not killing any task force members. He offered an endless supply of the best apples and lots of other fruit, along with access to the best video games, other games, and television. L described what he was willing to do in great detail and insisted that if Light was doubtful about any of these pleasures, he should at least test them out before killing anyone.

Ryuk remained neutral, constantly insisting that he was interested in the bribes but that Light would be making his own decisions. Light remained noncommittal throughout the entire conversation, and displayed more and more boredom and detachment as it went on.

Finally, L said, "I don't think I can say anything else that will matter, but, if you do kill, think about killing only me instead of everyone. They were never your real enemies; in fact they were your tools most of the time. I was the only real enemy you had."

Light looked at L with his glowing red eyes, smiled, and said, "I might do that. There is something special I would like to try with your death. If I decide to kill any of you who threatened Light or if I decide to take your bribes, I'll come to that building where you all gather."

With that, the conversation was over, and L hurried back to the human world. The moment that Rem felt that weird flip where gravity reversed and found herself looking at the blue sky of the human world, L pulled out his cellphone, and said, "Mogi, cover up your face right now. I don't care if you have to put a pillowcase over your head, or a paper bag with eyeholes poked in it. Keep your face covered continuously up to the emergency meeting in headquarters in two hours. If you can't leave the house in a mask, call Watari and have him pick you up."

Then, as Rem was still in the process of descending from the clouds, L called each of the task force members in turn, including Soichiro, and told them about the emergency meeting. He did not say anything about why it was being called.

When he finished with his calls, he said, "Rem, you truly never suspected that new shinigami were spawned from human death note users?"

"No, I am sorry. If I thought so, I would have done everything in my power to keep Light alive."

L was silent for a few moments, and then said, "I don't blame you. It is as you say; knowledge is disappearing from your realm. Also, with the usual time delay, and new names, and no memories, it would be difficult to make the connection."

At the meeting, the task force members were much less understanding. L waited until everyone was present before saying anything, but his white plastic mask, which he continued to wear, had already freaked them out, along with Mogi's mask. Soichiro looked like a complete wreck, older and more worried than ever, and Rem felt immensely sorry for him.

L started by saying, "First, I want to apologize. The problems we experienced with Kira are not over, and it is my fault for not thinking of all possibilities and investigating them. We might die. I have been doing my best to bribe our way out of this situation, but I'm not sure if it will work."

Mogi said, "What happened?"

L said, "Light is alive and he has another murder notebook. Light hasn't acted only because he has lost his memories, all of them, but Ryuk has told him everything that happened and is trying to goad him into causing trouble."

Aizawa said, "I knew it, Ryuzaki. You're his friend, so you just had to fake his death, didn't you? Will you ever stop doing things behind our backs? I'm sick of your methods."

"No," L said, "Light really did die. People who murder with the notebook turn into shinigami after they die. Apparently, there was only one shinigami who knew this until last week, when Ryuk found out. I should have suspected it."

L drew his knees in closer to his chest and huddled, looking as if he expected everyone to yell at him. His face was truly unreadable with that plastic mask covering it, but his eyes were downcast.

Soichiro said, "My son, is a shinigami?"

Soichiro pressed a hand to his forehead, and then sought out one of the couches, slumping down in it.

L said, "It is best if you do not think of him as your son. He doesn't remember being human, he might kill on a whim, and his personality is different. Ryuk has a lot of difficulty even convincing him to walk around, since he's been infected by the passivity that most shinigami seem to be cursed with. If it weren't for Ryuk, Light might just sit on a rock for the next few years. Also, Light insists on being called Quiv. He says that is his name now. If he comes here, perhaps calling him Quiv will make him think better of you."

Mogi said, "Is that the reason for the masks? Light will kill us?"

L said, "Yes. Light has seen everyone's face and name except for Mogi and myself. I plan to wear this mask until the situation resolves. However, it might be pointless because Light could simply tear off the masks if he really wants to. Light did say he would come kill us in person if that's what he decides to do. He won't kill any of us from a distance."

And then, the entire room erupted into a frenzied conversation of everyone talking at once, expressing fear, and anger, and disbelief that Rem didn't know such a basic fact and perhaps this proved she was plotting against them, and blaming L for the situation. L stayed silent the entire time, quietly letting the emotional outbursts run their course while he picked up various pastries from a plate in front of him, messily jamming them through the mouth hole in his mask. His entire demeanor was childish and eerie at the same time. His eyes looked strange, deep within those eyeholes.

When the emotional tone of the conversation became less panicked and more reasoned, Matsuda said, "So, what do we do? Trick Light into breaking a rule that will kill him?"

L said, "Ryuk expected that, and he says he already schooled Light in all the rules to avoid that possibility. Even if Ryuk is lying or Light is now idiotic enough to be tricked that way, trying to kill Light would perhaps make him want to kill us in return and also make the bribery attempts less effective. I think we need to focus on the bribery as our main strategy."

Then L explained in detail all the bribes he had offered, and his plans to build a massive entertainment/eating room in headquarters for exactly that purpose, with video games and apples as the main components of the bribe deal. After a time, L had managed to get everyone on his side, although Aizawa was still extremely angry about the situation and Soichiro was simply confused and overwhelmed. Rem saw all sorts of emotions moving through Soichiro's face in thick profusion, including happiness. Soichiro eventually left to go back to his job, saying he would stick with the NPA from now on unless he was called into the Kira investigation.

Everyone was talking among themselves about the implications of not really having the case closed, and how it would now be a waiting game to see whether a shinigami's whim would get them killed or not. L stayed out of it, simply crouching by himself and eating by shoving things through the hole in his mask.

Matsuda ran out of things to say before anyone else, and wandered over to L.

Matsuda said, "Wow, are you going to keep wearing that thing? It makes you look really creepy."

L replied, "I don't see any problem. I suppose I can't go on walks like this, but I've rarely been appearing in public these last few months anyway."

Matsuda then turned to Rem and said, "Does that mean, you used to be a human?"

Rem said, "I suppose so, but I don't remember."

Matsuda said, "All this is getting weird. Do you guys want to play video games?"

And then, just like that, L hopped from his chair, followed Matsuda to the video game room, and they played until the early hours of the morning, both men relaxing considerably in the process. L and Matsuda talked quite a bit, and Rem thought she could see the beginnings of a friendship between them. Perhaps, if both survived, L would actually get some friends. It was something that seemed to be good for humans, having friends.

Rem checked on Light every day from then on, trying to convince him that it would be best to take the bribes and refrain from killing. She didn't make any progress. After a time, Rem could tell that pushing Light was futile and probably counter-productive. The more she tried to convince him, the more he seemed determined to make the decision himself, according to his own desires. Rem gave up and simply went back to waiting, but it was tearing her apart inside.

Headquarters was tense and mournful most of the time as everyone waited for Light to make a move, though Matsuda began to really relax and get into the extensive entertainment center L had installed, almost acting like someone who'd forgotten the death threat hanging over them. Several rooms had been rebuilt into one giant room that was probably a video gamer's wet dream, with giant monitors, every imaginable game and game system, along with subscriptions to multiple online game worlds such as World of Warcraft. L had even bought custom-built special controllers that were more suited to large shinigami hands. In addition, there was a vast digital library of movies and television shows, and one entire wall was nothing but refrigerators that were continually stocked with fresh fruit, mostly apples but a few others including exotic selections such as mangoes and passionfruit.

It was just after Christmas when Light made his move. Everyone was gathered into the main investigation room, mostly just drinking coffee and chatting, when suddenly Rem saw L's head snap upward. In the next second, she heard Ryuk's voice saying, "Guess who's here?"

She turned around to see Light and Ryuk. All conversation had halted, and Aizawa's coffee was shaking so badly in his hand that he was spilling it on himself. Nobody except L and herself could see Light, but everyone could see Ryuk and they knew what was happening.

L hopped from his chair and approached Light. Rem felt fear spiking through her. There was nothing she could do. It was impossible for one shinigami to forcibly take a death note from another, and physically attacking Light to prevent him from writing could only be a slight delaying tactic. If Light couldn't be convinced by words, then action was useless.

L said, "Light, my bribes are in the next room. Would you like to see them first?"

Rem said, "Light, my threats still stand."

Light walked the last few steps to L, leaned down, and ripped off L's mask. His eyes were immediately drawn to L's name and lifespan, where two cracks, one large and one small, were now worming their way through letter after letter, then number after number. Rem had managed to put a second crack there about a week previously.

Light took out his death note then and began writing in it. Rem let out a terrible noise that was a sob, a scream and a monstrous roar all combined in one and launched herself at Light. He shot down through the floor as he kept writing. Rem phased after him, but didn't see him in the room below. Where was he? She quickly checked adjacent rooms, finding them empty, then went back to the main investigation room.

There, she saw Light standing directly in front of a wide-eyed, frightened-looking L. Light was holding his death note open in front of L's face and Rem could clearly see the name written there: L Lawliet.

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

I brought Light back in a way that is actually quite common in fan fiction: having death note users become shinigami upon their deaths. I hope it wasn't too cheesy. Anyway, his death did have real consequences for him, because he's obviously not the same Light. Still, Ryuk is doing his best to get rid of Quiv's passivity and make him as much like his former self as possible.


	24. Emergency II

**A/N (Author's Note):**

I'm putting a little warning here for those who are sensitive about rape. There is rape in this chapter, of a minor character, of the non-detailed flashback variety. As in, the rape doesn't occur in the actual timeline of this chapter but is acknowledged as happening earlier.

* * *

CHAPTER 24: EMERGENCY II

L stared at his name in the death note in front of him for a couple more seconds, then calmed himself and said, "He has written my name. Ryuk and Quiv, Watari will give you all the same bribes as before as long as nobody else here is killed. Limit it now. I was your only enemy."

Light smiled and said, "I know that."

The rest of the investigators looked like they were holding their breaths. It must be hard for them. None of them could see Light, and they had no idea what he'd do next. Rem was glad Soichiro wasn't present to see it. She hoped Light wouldn't go slaughter his human family next.

In a shaky voice, Matsuda suddenly blurted out, "It was an honor to work with you, Ryuzaki."

Aizawa and Mogi agreed, talking about how much they appreciated working with L as the crucial seconds silently ticked by.

Then Light said, "Forty seconds."

L cocked his head to the side, put a finger to his mouth and waited for ten more seconds. Then he said, "I'm not dying. Quiv only wrote my name, not a cause of death, so I should be dead by now."

Aizawa said, "Maybe it was a fake death note to scare you?"

"No," L replied, "he was able to take it through walls. It isn't part of the human world."

Light smiled, a very creepy smile on his skull-like face, and said, "I think it didn't work because the death note only kills humans. Ryuzaki doesn't look human to me."

L made a choked noise, and then said, "Is this a joke?"

Aizawa said, "What's happening?"

L's eyes looked scared and lost. He said, "Light says I'm immune to it. He says I'm not human."

There was an odd silence in the room as everyone stared at L and many emotions flitted through each man's face.

Matsuda broke the silence by saying, "This is great news! Ryuzaki won't die. I wonder what he is? Probably a robot, because he has to have a computer for a brain."

In an annoyed tone, L said, "The technology to build a robot that can pass for human doesn't exist. Besides, I would know it if I were a robot."

Matsuda excitedly continued, "Well, then maybe a cyborg or an android."

Aizawa sighed and said, "Those are all basically the same things."

"No," Matsuda said, "a cyborg has a human brain. But, Ryuzaki, I guess you'd know if you were any of those things. Well, maybe you're a vampire. You're all pale and you almost never go outside and you don't eat normal things. Or, wait, maybe you're a werewolf. You're always crouching on your chair like an animal. Or, with your pale skin and the way you don't wear shoes and have such scary eyes, maybe you're a yuki-onna."

L said, "Don't be silly, Matsuda."

Matsuda said, "But, if you're not human, you have to be something. And, if shinigami and murder notebooks exist, then all kinds of other weird things could exist too."

L replied, "Technically, that's true, but I don't like to believe in things until I see a reason for it, and everything you've mentioned is extremely silly. Believing in all odd things just because you discover one odd thing is true is sort of like believing all statements that sound like lies just because you found one that was true."

Matsuda continued excitedly, "Well then, maybe an alien. Scientists are sure those exist, they just get skeptical about whether any of them have come to earth or not. Or maybe you're a hybrid between a human and something that isn't human. You should ask your parents. Maybe someday you'll sprout antennae or a tail or something."

Aizawa said, "Matsuda, you're not helping."

L turned to Light and said, "Quiv, you're not going to kill anyone else here. Am I right?"

Light said, "Yes. I'll take your bribes. I'm not very interested in what Light wanted. He was just a human. Most of the reason I tried to kill you is because I could see you were different and I wondered what would happen. I certainly don't need the lifespan."

To the rest of the room, L said, "He's not going to kill anyone else as long as I bribe him."

There was a collective sigh from Aizawa, Mogi and Matsuda.

L turned to Light and said, "It is getting a bit tedious to pass messages for you. Why don't you make yourself visible and audible to everyone here?"

Light went around the room tapping people with his death note. Their reactions to becoming able to see him were not as extreme as previously, since he was now the fourth shinigami they'd seen, but they still drew back a bit upon seeing Light's horrific new form with its glowing red eyes.

As soon as Light had finished, L settled himself into a swivel chair, put his hands on top of his knees, and said, "Quiv, why do you say I don't look human? What is it?"

Light said, "It's something only a shinigami can see. I'm not going to tell you. I don't know how the rules apply to you any more, but I'm not going to risk my life just to experiment and find out."

L said, "It has to do with my name and lifespan. Am I correct?"

Ryuk said, "Yeah, that's what makes you look non-human. But I'm not going into any detail."

L replied, "I understand. Just because I do not fit the definition of 'human' in one way, it doesn't follow that I do not fit the definition of 'human' in all ways. It might be that none of the rules about human/shinigami interactions apply to me any more, but it is also possible that some do, or that they apply in unusual ways. The only way to know is by testing."

Ryuk said, "You got it. And none of us here want to use our lives for the test."

L nodded, thinking, his eyes like deep dark pools, and one long, delicate finger resting gently against his lower lip.

L said, "I already deduced it couldn't be an abnormally long or short lifespan."

L sat in silence for a bit longer, then his head snapped up and he looked directly at Rem. "Rem, how long have I not looked human? Was I human when we met?"

Rem said, "You have not looked human since we started our relationship."

L looked stricken. In a panicked whisper, he said, "You said there were no side effects. What did you do to me?"

"I did not know there were side effects until I spoke to Nu later. Nu says the process is irreversible and she doesn't think there are any bad consequences."

In the same whisper, L said, "Am I turning into a shinigami? What is happening to me?"

Rem replied, "Nu didn't remember the details, but I'm sure she would have remembered it if it involved turning into a shinigami."

L relaxed a bit, but he still looked mournful. He said, "I want to be human."

Ryuk said, "Tough luck! Well, where are our bribes?"

With that, L led Ryuk and Light into the special entertainment and eating room he'd constructed for them, and showed them how everything worked. He ended up staying up the entire night playing video games with them to demonstrate everything.

From then on, it was only tying up a few extremely minor loose ends and waiting out the rest of the allotted time, and at last the report to Interpol was sent out and the Kira case officially closed. Aizawa and Mogi treated L differently after learning he was no longer human, and were glad to go once their time was up, but Matsuda was kind to L and L let him continue to stay past the end of the Kira case, helping L as he was taking on other projects by then.

L did not seem to think there was anything odd about occupying a mostly-empty skyscraper, and he conducted the majority of his cases purely through the computer anyway, so he lived in the investigation center most of the time for years afterwards, even though he had various residences around the world and occasionally lived in them for a month or two at a time.

Occasionally, L brought in workers to help with forensics or paperwork, but until six years later when "L" became a detective agency rather than just a detective, the majority of the time it was just himself, Watari, Matsuda and three shinigami. Matsuda continued to live there and help L. At first, Matsuda was little more than a coffee boy, but L gradually came to appreciate his talents and assigned him more varied work.

Matsuda wasn't stupid. He was just immature, impulsive and a bit silly. When he developed some maturity and gave up his stubborn impulse to believe the best of everyone, he actually turned into an excellent detective. He had extremely good perception, he was brave, and his intuition was right surprisingly often. Light's death affected him very deeply, destroying some of his innocence, starting his path to maturity, and making him feel indebted to the Yagami family. He kept doing things for the Yagamis and keeping watch over them. A decade later, he was married to Sayu.

When L was 31 years old, his three successors arrived and began working with him as co-detectives, sharing the "L" label. Now the lie he'd told so many times, that L was a group of people, was finally true. Mello, Matt and Near were all in their late teens, and had already worked extensively with L through the computer as he sent them test cases to train them and to ease his workload.

All of them had accepted his offer to work with him in person, but Mello and Near did not seem thrilled with each other, and there was also some tension between L and Near that finally improved one day when L said, "Near, you're more intelligent than to be a mindless follower. Sit up straight and stop imitating me."

Rem had been surprised, but Near did it, and from then on he seemed to respond best when L insulted him. Near thrived on challenges and was a rather cold person. Matsuda never trusted Near, and Rem eventually discovered that L really didn't either. L secretly kept close tabs on Near to make sure he wasn't doing blatantly illegal things to solve cases. L had no problem with mildly illegal - surveillance without warrants, fake identities, illegal weapons, bribery and blackmail - but he had boundaries. Near did not have such boundaries, and a number of times L rather casually stopped Near from launching some pretty audacious plans. Near always pretended he'd just been testing L and hadn't actually been planning to go through with anything like that, and L pretended to believe him. They both knew the other was lying, but they never spoke of it.

Mello was full of emotional outbursts but got along surprisingly well with L. It seemed that L was the only one who didn't push Mello's buttons. The two of them had a kind of calm, quiet understanding, and they often seemed quite happy just being around each other and not saying anything. Perhaps it helped that L didn't try to limit Mello in any way. L was more lax with Mello than with Near. He occasionally let Mello do illegal things he never would have tolerated in Near, but perhaps that was because Mello didn't try such things very often and seemed to have a sense of boundaries.

Mello was a complete gun nut, and L let Mello take his guns everywhere with no objection whatsoever. The only time L complained was right after Rem became visible to Mello, and then it was because of the damage to the wall.

Rem had made the mistake of saying, "Mello? I thought Mello was a male."

Immediately, Mello had pulled out his gun and shot Rem full of bullets, which simply passed through to damage the wall behind her.

L waited until the hail of bullets stopped, then said, "I'd rather you didn't make so much noise and damage in this room. There's a firing range two floors down."

Matt had been an enigma, a bundle of contradictions. Rem never felt like she understood him. He was easygoing and a bit lazy, brave but with little initiative, and highly intelligent but often didn't really use his intelligence unless L or Mello really pushed him. Matt didn't have any problem being talkative, but he was withdrawing and introspective in his own way, mostly through his obsession with video games.

Matt had been very impressed to meet Ryuk and "Quiv," who by that point had given in and was letting everyone refer to him as "Light" despite the name that floated above his head.

Matt's eyes widened and he said, "Holy shit! You two are legends on World of Warcraft."

Then Matt was doubled over in laughter, not even able to stand straight it was so intense.

Mello said, "What's so funny?"

Matt barely gasped out, "I've had online arguments... with crazy fuckers... about whether Ryuk and Light are even human."

Rem got along with all three successors very well, though she never particularly liked any of them. They were okay. L seemed to have a similar attitude. Rem was never completely sure whether L considered Mello, Matt and Near to be his friends or just co-workers he enjoyed being around. Rem sometimes thought L considered the way the three others looked up to him to be a barrier to true friendship. He was their mentor, not their peer. He rarely did anything truly social with them, but then he rarely did anything truly social with anyone. In that regard, Matsuda was probably more of a friend than any of L's successors.

L's love life was complex during the eight years following Light's death. He kept up his relationship with Rem, but he had sex with three humans during that time: Kristi, an American, Gerard, a Frenchman, and Dolores, a British mathematics professor.

Kristi was a sniper, and an expert on explosives. She worked together with L on a long-running case involving taking down a network of illegal arms dealers. It was one of those rare situations where L felt he needed to interact with some of the suspects personally in an undercover mission, in order to make use of his extraordinary skills in reading people's personalities, motivations and behaviors. It was the kind of work that couldn't be done over a computer, and it involved a lot of danger. Thus, Kristi was on hand, ready to take out his enemies with her sniper rifle the moment L gave the signal.

And, the case dragged on for months because it was ending up to be much more complicated than it seemed at first. During that time, L and Kristi had a lot of interactions, and Rem could tell Kristi was trying to hit on L, and that L was experiencing a tentative attraction in return. Kristi had no idea Rem existed, because L kept that information completely secret. Only a privileged few were allowed to know.

Then, one time, Kristi was following L down a stairwell after the conclusion of a small mission when she suddenly grabbed L and pinned him against the wall. Rem drifted closer, watching curiously. Kristi looked as if she was about to kiss L, and he had an expression of lust on his face.

L looked directly as Rem. He said, "Is this okay? I'll stop if you want me to."

Rem replied, "I told you before, my love for you is not like human love. If this makes you happy, I will be glad to see you do it."

At the same moment, Kristi said, "I don't want to stop," leaned in and kissed him.

After that, L and Kristi frequently found themselves kissing or making out after work. Rem watched the entire process curiously, glad to see the expressions that L got on his face. After a month of the making out sessions, L had a long talk with Rem about Kristi. He explained that he did like Kristi, and he was certain she was trying to seduce him, and he still loved Rem just as much but he was really curious about human sex. After all, despite the heights of sexual bliss he'd reached, he was technically still a virgin at twenty-six years old.

Rem gave her permission, and then L and Kristi started a sexual relationship. L had Rem secretly present at every sexual experience, working him up into a frenzy of pleasure, stimulating him as he drove himself into Kristi. Rem really fell in love with those faces L made during the act, and Kristi wasn't bad either, though Rem wasn't really interested in her.

Then, when the sexual relationship had been going on for two months, Kristi returned to an office unexpectedly and caught L being pleasured by Rem. As far as Kristi could tell, L and a blanket were levitating a couple of feet off the floor, and L had an unmistakable look of sexual ecstasy as he writhed. Kristi was shocked and incredibly scandalized at the same time. It led to a screeching argument about L's "demon lover" and left L a shuddering sobbing mess. Kristi never spoke to him again.

When L recovered, he told Rem, "I will never do that again. If I ever do become involved with another human, I will tell them about you before trying anything sexual. I will never let go of you. Anyone who wants me must accept you as part of the relationship."

A year later, L became sexually involved with a French musician named Gerard. Gerard didn't mind Rem in the slightest. In fact, he gave Rem permission to stimulate him during sex as well as L, and Gerard seemed to quickly become addicted to the pleasure. Gerard also started the process of developing cracks in his name and lifespan shortly after Rem's first experience with him.

Sex between Gerard and L was always incredibly hot and passionate, but their relationship outside of sex was volatile; full of pouting, sulking and frequent arguments. One day, Gerard broke every single dish L owned in a tremendous screaming fit, for no reason that Rem could comprehend, and then left in a huff and never returned. L received a breaking-up email a month later stating Gerard had found another man.

L's relationship with Dolores was different than his first two sexual relationships. He'd hooked up with her as part of his quest to find experts to help with the shinigami realm investigation, especially experts with access to lots of grad students to do the grunt labor and not ask too many questions. Dolores showed no sign that she minded Rem. Rather, she treated Rem like an intellectual puzzle to study. Dolores also allowed Rem to stimulate her during sex with L, and she developed cracks, but she was a reserved, calm woman, and Rem always had the feeling that Dolores was more interested in the idea that creatures like Rem could exist than the many mind-bending orgasms Rem could cause with a touch.

L and Dolores were married for four years, and the marriage always seemed stable to Rem. Thus, she was surprised when it broke up in an extremely bitter divorce, with frenzied screaming and horrible arguments much like the style of those Gerard had always been provoking.

When Dolores had removed the last of her things and was gone for good, Rem approached L and said, "I don't understand why she did that. Was it because of me? If I keep ruining your relationships, I should go."

L pulled Rem to the floor then, climbed into her lap and hugged her.

He said, "Never, ever leave me Rem. Dolores knew about you from the beginning. It wasn't you, it's me. I'm a terrible husband by human standards. I tend to spend weeks at a time sitting in front of a computer for sixteen hours every day, and I'm no good at socializing. Dolores was terribly upset with me because she thought she could change me, make me behave normally at social outings, get me to make friends with her friends. Instead, whenever I let her drag me somewhere, I just spent all my time crouched in a corner by myself eating candy."

"And talking to me."

L wriggled around in Rem's grasp so he could look up at her. He was smiling slightly, his eyes shining with love. He was still fragile and lightly-built, like a teenager, and even though he was 33, he could still pass for 19, just as he could when Rem had first met him. Almost nothing about his appearance had changed in the intervening eight years.

L said, "Perhaps talking to you was one of the social problems. All her friends thought I was completely insane. But, even if I had been heartless enough to ignore you, I'm sure the outcome would have been the same. Human lovers expect more from me than I'm willing to give. I've never been like other people. I can never satisfy them."

Then L was trembling in her arms.

Rem asked, "Are you cold? Should I get a blanket?"

L didn't answer. Instead, he was suddenly crushed up against her very hard, his skinny ribcage pressing into her stomach, and then he climbed up to her mouth and kissed her vigorously, passionately. His tongue came inside her mouth, her dry-as-sand mouth, and licked around, prodding at her tongue, massaging her fangs. L had never kissed her like this before. It had always been innocent little pecks, and those had been rare. Rem stayed still, wondering what she should do.

After a time he drew back, looking into her face from a few inches away, and his eyes were like dark pools of ink. Rem could see the love and intense emotions shining in the depths of those eyes. He was searching her face, looking carefully. There was such want in his eyes.

Rem said, "I love you, but you shouldn't kiss me for so long. You might get frostbite."

L said, "I want to make you feel what I feel..."

And then, he was pushing her to the floor and he was all over her body in a way he never had been before, pushing, prodding, investigating every curve and crevice, jamming his fingers underneath the exoskeleton of bones that covered much of her frame, trying to stimulate, searching everywhere. His movements were sexual, and there was a kind of passionate desperation to his entire demeanor.

Rem let him do as he wished, but she knew he wouldn't find what he was looking for. A couple of times during the process, she reached inside his body and stimulated him to orgasm, making him cry out in pleasure and grind himself into her.

Finally, Rem noticed his fingers taking on a bluish tinge, so she picked him up, took him to bed, and wrapped him firmly in a blanket. She held him that way, the safe way, as he shivered from the cold he'd inflicted on himself, and then she reached inside him, bringing him to a tender, exquisite climax once more before he settled down, panting and exhausted and beginning to warm up from his own body heat now that he had the protection of the blanket.

Rem said, "I don't mind what you did, but nothing you can do to me physically is more pleasurable than a hug. You'll eventually get frostbite if you try something like that very often."

L snuggled closer and said, "Rem, I need you. I love you. You're always there, and you're like me, and you don't expect things I can't provide."

Rem said, "I love you too."

"Rem, I cheated on you. I betrayed you. I'm sorry. It was wrong and I'll never do it again."

Rem held him close and said, "I'm not a human, I'm a shinigami. I was not traumatized by what you did except when you became unhappy from it. I told you it was fine, so you didn't wrong me."

"Then," L said, "if I did not wrong you, I wronged myself. Humans are a species that forms sexual pair bonds. They are supposed to be faithful. When they aren't, it leads to unhappiness. Unfaithfulness provokes more murders than any other cause, which shows how much humans care about it. Enough to kill."

"But, you're not a human either."

L sighed and said, "Other than being immune to death notes, I seem to be human in every way that counts. I haven't been able to discover a single characteristic in myself that differs from other humans. For all practical purposes, I'm a human."

Rem said, "I'm not sure you're aging normally. You look extremely young."

"I've always looked much younger than I am. Unless it becomes quite extreme, I'm not sure we can draw that conclusion."

Rem looked at his lifespan. Just like his name, it was wriggling with cracks, but still perfectly legible. He had about twelve years left. Unless his lifespan was now meaningless, he wouldn't live long enough to be absolutely sure whether he was aging or not.

They were silent for a while, cuddling through the protective barrier formed by the blanket.

Then L said, "Rem, marry me. Please!"

"What?"

L looked up into Rem's face, his dark hair hanging messily into his eyes. He said, "Marry me. There's nobody else. There never will be anybody else. You're everything to me. I love you."

He climbed up her body again, clinging to her with his small frame, letting the blanket fall away, heedless of her freezing cold. He pressed his head into her shoulder and shook.

He said, "You are legally a human. We can have whatever kind of ceremony you want. I know shinigami don't do this sort of thing, but I need you this way. Please say yes."

"Yes."

He let out an incredibly contented sigh and clung even closer to her.

Rem picked him up, saying, "You really will get frostbite. I'm putting you in a hot bath."

In a few minutes, she had stripped him of all clothing and had him in a tub half-full of water as hot as he could stand. Steam was rising everywhere in the bathroom, filming over all the mirrors and hanging in the air. The bluish tinge was leaving L's pale skin. He was looking at her almost constantly, an expression of pure love and adoration. He was contented. It was such a lovely face.

Rem ran even more hot water into the tub, then prepared a sponge with soapsuds and washed him gently, tenderly, everywhere. He looked so happy, and toward the end of his bath, he developed an erection, so Rem pleasured him some more until he came, screaming from the intensity, shaking and looking up at her with the most beautiful face she'd ever seen.

The ceremony was five days later, in a courthouse rather than any religious establishment. It was in a small but stately room all paneled in golden-brown wood, with white flowers, all bought by L, nearly covering the walls. L had dressed in a suit, the first time Rem had ever seen him that way. L had married Dolores in his regular clothing. L let Rem decide whether she would wear anything and she didn't, because she was sure it would look stupid.

There were only a small number of guests. There were few people who had both seen L's face and knew he was L, and nearly every single one was present at the wedding. Still, L was exceptionally paranoid about his real name, and did not marry using it. Technically, Rem was married to Eraldo Coil on paper. She'd gotten something much better than Dolores. Dolores hadn't even been married to one of L's detective aliases, Dolores never found out L was L, and she had been shocked beyond belief when she received half of L's immense fortune as a divorce settlement.

Watari gave Rem away, and then there were very short vows and a kiss. There were no rings because both L and Rem knew they wouldn't wear them. Rem didn't want to compromise her invisibility or ability to move through walls, and L didn't like anything other than his set outfit. He always wore loose items, and knew he'd never be able to put up with having a piece of tight metal clinging to him all the time.

The reception was just as small, with the same group of people, but L had a wedding cake there that couldn't possibly be eaten by them. It was nearly ten feet tall, multicolored, and lavishly decorated with every possible kind of fruit, candy and frosting. Even though it would have been impossible for everyone there to consume the cake no matter how much they ate, L made an impressive attempt to do it himself.

About a year after L and Rem's wedding, Watari died. He was eighty and had been frail for the past three years, so it was no surprise to anyone and L already had largely replaced him with several men who fulfilled the same duties on a rotating basis, including Aiber on rare occasions. All of them were "Watari" as far as law enforcement agencies around the world were concerned, and L even referred to them as such in person. It was a precaution in case any of his enemies ever managed to spy on him. L was an extremely paranoid person, even considering that he had a right to be.

However, the original Watari's death struck L hard. Quillsh Wammy had been part of L's life, off and on, since shortly after his parents had died, and was like a father or grandfather to L. L missed him enormously, and needed a lot of late-night cuddling to help deal with the emotional impact. L simply wasn't the same for several years afterward, but he eventually recovered. Rem found the absence of Watari strange. She'd never liked him much, though he had grown on her over time, and it just felt weird to have various other men performing the same duties while L referred to them with the name "Watari."

The investigation into the shinigami realm took many years. The interviews and physical tests L had performed shortly after Light's death were just the beginning. L managed to consult with quite a number of experts without them realizing exactly what he was consulting with them about, mostly experts in geology, archaeology and paleontology. He had to be very careful with some of the samples he sent out to be analyzed, such as the bones so common in the shinigami realm, most of which came from no earthly creature.

A lot of the scientists L worked with desperately wanted to know where he'd gotten such things and then publish results about it, but L carefully concealed the existence of the shinigami realm. He often put scientists who were working with him under surveillance until they returned the items to him, and sometimes he had to break in and steal back items when scientists got possessive about them.

L was always interested in getting grad students to work at various projects in the shinigami realm. L blindfolded them and knocked them out for the trip there and back. Rem was able to carry one person at a time, so it was a tedious process to get a bunch of unconscious people there for a big project. All of them were told lies about where they actually were, but were cautioned strictly to never remove their masks. Most shinigami ignored them naturally, and the few curious shinigami who might otherwise interfere usually followed L's instructions to leave the humans alone.

Only a handful of the grad students ever saw gods of death, and, of those students, most were told they were hallucinating instead of the truth and they tended to believe that. Only a couple of them were let in on the secret, and these were put to work on various tasks that required interacting with shinigami, though L tended to do most of those jobs himself.

L interviewed every single shinigami except the king extensively over the years, but Nu always gave him the best information. L had found the perfect payment for her, too. The last time Nu had had any contact with the human world, novels basically didn't exist. L was able to bring Nu an endless supply of extremely angsty, regret-laden novels with sad endings, and, in return, she became a fountain of information. In the course of communicating with Nu, L paged backwards in her death note and saw what had been written there about his first crack, so he found out that secret and afterwards Rem could discuss it with him safely.

L spent a lot of time getting, or trying to get, gods of death to take various intelligence and psychological tests, and he attempted to train them, using food as a reward, and to get them involved in various activities. The only real change he produced was that there were fewer shinigami who just sat around doing nothing, and more shinigami who were addicted to various games.

However, L did manage to get Sidoh to take up gardening, though earth plants in the shinigami realm required a lot of care to keep alive, until the point where most of them died and the rest began gradually transitioning into shinigami-realm plants. Still, Sidoh discovered he could usually get a crop of normal tomatoes out of any particular tomato garden before the point when that happened. Finally, 13 years after Light's death, L came to Rem and told her he thought he had the answer to what was wrong with the shinigami realm.

L scrunched himself into an armchair and said, "I do not think you will like it, Rem. It isn't good news."

Then, L explained the conclusions he'd come to. The shinigami realm had once had ecosystems of some kind, and a larger variety of creatures, not just plants and shinigami, but those ecosystems had fallen apart ages ago, perhaps when the original inhabitants of the shinigami realm discovered immortality. L wasn't allowed to even receive a description of what the shinigami king looked like, but he had pieced together bits and pieces of conversation to conclude, correctly, that the king looked exactly like a living version of various extremely ancient skeletons that were prevalent in the shinigami realm, skeletons that looked a bit like giant ticks with two human-like monstrous skulls in place of a head, one big, one little, the big one inside the little one.

L explained, "I believe the king isn't a shinigami at all. That's why he has extra powers and operates according to different rules and is far older than anyone else. I think the king is the last original inhabitant. There were once cities full of creatures like him, and their skeletons litter the landscape. He is the only one left. I am not sure if human techniques for dating materials work in the shinigami realm, but if he was born around the time the last of the others died, I think he is perhaps just under a million years old."

"But," Rem said, "what is wrong with my world?"

L said, "I think that your world can't sustain itself, it doesn't work. It has been a parasite on the human world, and perhaps on other worlds previous to that, but even that process is deeply flawed. From what I've been able to gather, the number of shinigami has always been in decline, and shinigami have continually become more passive and uncaring through time. Nu has been alive for thirty thousand years and, even though her memory isn't that good about some things, in the days when she was young, the oldest gods of death alive at that time told her about the same problems, they just weren't as bad then. And, back then, there were shinigami who cared about these issues and spent a lot of time trying to correct them, with no success."

Rem said, "So, you can't figure out how to stop the decay?"

L said, "An unsustainable system drives itself towards collapse, unless it can be replaced with a sustainable system. But, I do not think this can be done for your world. Are you familiar with the concept of thresholds?"

Rem said, "I do read some, and I've heard you discussing it on the phone a bit. It is the point when a system starts reacting differently, often a point where things can no longer be reversed or can't be reversed in the same way. Like when water starts boiling. Before that, you could cool down the pan and get exactly the water you started with, but when some of the water boils away, cooling the pan won't put the evaporated water back in."

L said, "Once a system crosses a threshold, it can become impossible to fix it. I believe the shinigami king spent thousands of years trying to fix it, but he knows his world is dying and is no longer trying to do anything to stop it. That is why he is so stingy about letting shinigami have extra notebooks. He is purposely letting gods of death go extinct."

Rem was immensely sad. She was a refugee from a dying world, one that couldn't ever be fixed. But, the inhabitants being affected by the process of decay were far fewer in number than the total population of even a tiny village of humans. In terms of the number of individuals affected, the tragedy wasn't that bad. If there was no point to being a shinigami, if there was no fun in life for them, then maybe it was best for them to quietly die out. Rem realized that she no longer completely thought of herself as a shinigami. She had allied herself with the humans.

But, at that point, Misa was dead, L only had seven years left in his lifespan, and Rem hadn't formed any significant attachments to other humans, nothing that would really make life seem worth living after L died. Rem resolved to treasure the time she had left with L, and she did. Every year was immensely precious.

Then, L's day of death arrived. He was 45 years old, and he'd aged just slightly. He looked like maybe he could be 25. It was in the middle of a case involving the mafia, always the most dangerous people to mess with. As L's time was in the range of minutes, he was walking down a street just after dark. It wasn't a bad neighborhood, it was nice, but there was nobody around. It was empty and even his worn-out sneakers made a slight hollow echo in the stillness. Rem kept flying ahead and looking into nearby buildings, trying to see if it would be an attacker. L seemed too healthy to die any other way. She found nobody.

Rem thought fiercely as L's minutes ran out. She'd already decided to sacrifice her life if necessary, but she wasn't sure it would work that way. Light's use of the death note proved that L wasn't exactly human any more. His lifespan might be meaningless, and even if it did mean he was scheduled to die in a few minutes, Rem might be able to save him without dying. The rule might not apply in the same way, or at all.

Then, garbage cans on either side of the street suddenly opened up and spilled two masked gunmen onto the street. L dived behind a car for cover and Rem flew forward, pulling off both masks and seeing the names. She flew back to L and took one last loving look at him and his almost-gone lifespan as she started writing in her death note. L looked up at her with a stricken face, his eyes so wide and black, like deep pools she could fall into. Rem didn't even glance at the gunmen as she heard the sounds of them having heart attacks. Her gaze was on L's lifespan as it increased and increased, stopping finally at 185 years. Would he truly live that long?

But then, Rem could feel herself beginning to crumble, and it was incredibly painful. L started forward, but Rem said, "There might be other attackers, also don't accidentally touch my death note, or you'll have to choose between killing at least one person and losing all memory of me."

In a choked voice, L said, "Rem!"

Rem's awareness was fading, but she heard herself say, "I love you."

There was an incredibly weird twisting, wrenching sensation, all dizziness and disorientation. In the next moment, Rem heard bells. Musical little chimes, soft and far-away sounding, ringing out various complex patterns, never stopping. Then Rem became aware that she was seeing the same scene she'd been in before her death, but from a different height than usual, a lower height. She was looking down at her own pile of sand, with her death note sticking up out of it. Was she some kind of ghost? Rem was briefly amused at the thought of a shinigami ghost, but mostly she felt overwhelming sadness. It felt like more than her own emotion, though, as if someone else's sadness existed in her chest alongside her own.

Then, she felt her hand reaching outward, and tried to pull it back. She had no control over her movements! She couldn't turn her head, or talk, and her entire body felt funny, very different. When the hand came into view, she wanted to gasp, but couldn't, as she recognized it. It was his hand! L's hand!

L's hand hesitated before reaching Rem's death note and drew back. Rem felt and heard her lips, L's lips, mutter, "I don't want to forget."

Then she felt her body, L's body, withdraw a cellphone from a pocket and call Watari, explaining the situation, that there could still be attackers around and that a death note was just sitting on the sidewalk and needed to be destroyed without anyone touching it.

Rem was excited, and scared, and immensely happy all at the same time. She wasn't dead; she was in L! She was in his body! She wasn't dead, and she'd be together with him until he died. Rem tried fiercely to create some movement, anywhere in his body, but nothing worked. L's body only moved according to his will. And along with feeling his body, she was certain she could feel his emotions as well. There were feelings Rem was experiencing that seemed to belong to L, not her.

Rem helplessly observed, while the newest Watari came, the death note was burned without anyone touching it, and L was whisked away to an airport so he could leave the entire area and re-evaluate the situation from a distance. Assassins could still be after him. The entire time, Rem tried to find some way to signal L about where she was, but nothing worked.

Rem thought madly. This must have happened with Jealous and Misa as well. And, though Jealous hadn't managed to communicate with Misa or Rem, Rem had sensed him in there even though she hadn't interpreted her sense correctly at the time. When Rem interacted with Misa, she'd always felt as if she were dealing with a good friend she'd had for 80 years, like Jealous. Nothing in Misa's attitude or behavior had been capable of provoking the fierce, illogical love Rem had for Misa.

Rem became a bit more optimistic. If she'd come that close to realizing Jealous was inside Misa, then there was certainly a good chance that L, the greatest detective in the world, might realize Rem was inside his body. L was considerably smarter than Misa, and Rem had more time in which to try to communicate with L.

But then Rem was suddenly struck by horror. Poor Jealous! If he had to endure Misa's body and emotions, he must have been terribly unhappy most of the time. No wonder Rem had tried so desperately to secure Misa's happiness. But it hadn't worked, except that maybe, in Misa's last years in the insane asylum, Jealous had finally had some true rest and happiness.

Though, since Jealous had been forced to endure whatever Misa's body had been put through, he had almost certainly been raped by Light. Rem couldn't imagine that Jealous had actually wanted the first sexual encounter that Misa and Light had experienced.

The second one was much nicer, so maybe he did want that one, but on the other hand he'd already been raped by Light once at that point so he probably didn't want any more of Light. Rem felt a horrible despair. She'd tried so hard to help her friend, and had only helped a little bit. She had watched, and done nothing, while he was raped! Rem hadn't known what was happening, but she felt guilty all the same. She should have grabbed Light and pulled him off of Misa that first time, no matter how much Misa objected.

Then, Rem was suddenly pulled out of her thoughts by noticing a man walking past L in the airport L was now in. The man looked very similar to Rem's father.

_Wait! My father? I remember, I remember being human!_

Rem had been so occupied with the present moment that she hadn't realized it, but her memories now stretched back to before she'd become a shinigami, to her life as a human. Before she was Rem. No, her name wasn't "Rem" then. It was something entirely different.

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

A yuki-onna or "snow woman" is a creature from Japanese mythology. I thought it would be funny for Matsuda to accuse L of being a female non-human. Yes, I'm sure L picked up on it, he just doesn't care.

Ha! A few readers noticed Light's new name is actually kind of dirty (just google it and you'll find out). I guess it's my way of saying Light's the uke!

Yes, I finally got to the time skip that I've been talking about for a while. It took longer to get to this point than I thought it would! But, in just this chapter, we've covered about twenty years.

Yes, L did cheat on Rem, but I think it's in character for a few reasons. One, I believe L is slightly evil, like the canon manga writer says. Two, L doesn't understand how to conduct himself in relationships. Three, Rem told him it was okay. Put all those together, and you've got a cheating L. Though, he did realize his mistake and married her. Because he's mostly good.

The canon minor character who had been following much of what was happening was Jealous, and it was because he was trapped inside Misa's body from the time he saved her until her death. Nobody guessed it in reviews, but I didn't expect anyone to. I hope that was an unexpected plot twist!

Anyway, I'm pretty sure this fic has the only LightxJealous rape in the history of Death Note fanfiction. Or, depending on how you view it, perhaps Light and Misa both raped Jealous.

Well, I've been doing the death-related cliffhangers for three chapters in a row now, first Light, then L, and now Rem. I hope I didn't wear out my readers too much. Will Rem be able to signal L she's inside his body? Or will he think she's totally gone? One way or another, though, it looks like Rem is finally going to experience orgasms. L is going to jerk off sooner or later.

I characterized Near and Mello in a non-standard way, making Mello more law-abiding than Near, and Near creepier than he usually is in fan fiction, and making them willing to work together. I think both idolize L so much that they'd put up with each other for the sake of working with L, plus I think if L hadn't died, Mello wouldn't have gone quite so ballistic and he also wouldn't have spent some formative years clawing up the ladder in the mafia. Also, I believe that, deep down, Near is less law-abiding than L, more willing to cheat than L is. L is a minor cheater, but Near is a big cheater.

The next chapter is a flashback chapter of Rem's life as a human circa 300 B.C. on the border of Central Asia and the Middle East. And, it's already basically finished, I just have to do another editing sweep, so you should see it very soon. However, since it's a flashback chapter, it doesn't resolve the cliffhanger at the end of this chapter. You'll have to wait for that! Sorry!


	25. War Priestess

**A/N (Author's Note):**

Another little warning for those who are sensitive about rape. This chapter contains a non-detailed rape.

* * *

CHAPTER 25: WAR PRIESTESS

Her name wasn't Rem. It was the Scythian word for "Four." She was the fourth child produced by her parents, and the only one who ever lived past age seven. She was precious to her parents. She was especially precious to her father after her mother died. Rem's father never took another wife, knowing how much stepmothers usually abused children other than their own.

Instead, he satisfied himself with a string of meaningless lovers from the settled villages his tribe ruled over, a different one for each seasonal stop on their migration route. Meanwhile, Rem was elevated to a co-head of the household, put in charge of many servants and with two entire flocks of goats in her name, so that if her father died, Rem would be assured of earning a living even if her father's brother took most of her inheritance.

It was the old tales, a mixture of Scythian legend and history, that influenced Rem into keeping the scroll when she found it instead of passing it on to some leader of the tribe. She'd always been interested in those stories, told only by the most prestigious storytellers, because it was history, it really happened, and you couldn't let just anyone repeat it or the information might decay over time. The brave warriors of ancient Scythian history were mostly 13-year-old girls, and Rem was always fascinated by the thought of it, girls just like her striking terror into opposing armies and slaughtering vast numbers of soldiers.

The storytellers sat around huge bonfires at important festivals and told her about the glory days of Scythia, before the rest of the world bred larger, stronger horses that could easily carry grown men. In the glory days, the most terrifying sight in the world was a nude 13-year-old girl clinging to the back of a half-wild pony, her bow drawn and pointed. Mounted, highly mobile archers were an incredible threat to foot soldiers. Boys were heavier and made the small horses less agile, so it was almost exclusively girls who were used. And, in those days, nudity or near-nudity were both quite common in war, especially among barbaric tribes who had no effective armor and needed as much mobility as possible.

Foreigners could not believe that children, girls no less, could decimate their armies so ruthlessly, so they spread stories about the Scythian mounted archers. They were not human. They were sprites or demons. They were soul-eating things that merely looked like human children. That was why their faces were always so expressionless when they killed. The Scythians encouraged these tales. The longer it took for others to copy their methods, the better off they would be.

And, the girls spent their fighting time slipping in and out of cover on the outskirts of armies, taking down opponent after opponent with sure, long-distance strikes, often clinging to the opposite sides of their horses, using the animals as mobile cover, with only one arm, the bow, and the top of their head peeking out. Armies were known to panic and fall into chaos at the appearance of just a few dozen of these girls silently killing from the outskirts. Their careers only lasted a year or two. By fifteen, if not sooner, the girls were too heavy to be optimum warriors.

When Rem found the scroll, she thought she knew what it was. It was a piece of writing, a rare object, and could surely be sold. There was not much writing inside. Even if for some reason the contents were worthless, the paper was valuable. Scribes would spend months carefully scraping ink off of old scrolls in order to reuse them. But, before she even got the scroll home, a god of death had appeared to her and told her its true purpose. Bribank was his name.

Rem had been intrigued by the possibility of following in the footsteps of the girl warriors she was always hearing about, the ones who no longer existed. But, she couldn't read or write. There was no way to use the scroll. Then Bribank told her about the deal. She could trade away half her remaining lifespan for the ability to see people's names floating above their heads. She just had to copy down the marks she saw in the first row. The bottom row would be their lifespans.

Rem agreed. It was a dangerous world she lived in. Her tribe of nomads ruled a long, narrow mountain valley, dominating and receiving tribute from all the settled villages within it as they slowly moved up and down its length with the seasons, following the freshest pastures.

But, their livelihood and safety were not contained just within that valley. There was always the next valley over, and the valley beyond that, and the flat lands, both desert and plain, beyond the mountains, and all of these places held warlike people who hoped to gain more resources. Each tribe, each nation, each empire, fiercely struggling. War was a constant; peace was considered to be an abnormality. If you did not conquer your neighbors, it was likely they would conquer you. Striking first was self-defense, and even other Scythian tribes were dangerous.

Rem was thirteen when she made the deal. Immediately, her vision sharpened. Bribank told her that was a side effect of shinigami eyes. The user received perfect vision. When she got home, she saw every person with marks above their heads. She kept the scroll secret from everyone except her father. When Rem explained everything to him and let him touch the scroll and see Bribank, her father nodded solemnly and said, "Four, you have been chosen by the gods. A god stands by you at all times. Our tribe has been blessed."

Rem's father arranged for Rem to test the scroll, by taking her to see some prisoners of war. Three of the men died soon after Rem wrote down their names, but the fourth lived. Bribank pointed out that there was a tiny difference between the way she'd written the man's name and the way it appeared. Rem tried again, and this time the man died. She'd have to be careful and copy down everything exactly.

Soon, Rem had been introduced as a war priestess to all the leaders of her tribe. A god had revealed himself to her. She was his mouthpiece, and they sacrificed the most succulent fruits to him, some even imported from far places, arriving packed deep within wagons filled with alternating layers of straw and half-melted glacier ice. Bribank was particularly pleased with figs, even though most of them arrived as dried lumps, and he went absolutely insane over pomegranates.

Rem's tribe arranged for her to appear on the edges of battlefields, well-hidden and well-protected. Like the 13-year-old Scythian girl warriors of the past, she spread a terrifying trail of destruction among her enemies. At least half the effect was due to the fear alone. With an unseen attacker who killed without spilling a single drop of blood pulling down one soldier after another, armies more quickly went into disarray and gave up.

It was possible to sometimes avert war altogether by killing off opposing leaders the moment they tried anything, but it could be quite difficult to get close enough to see their faces. The missions to do so were exciting but dangerous, and Rem's tribe considered her too precious to send her out that way very often.

Within a year, Rem's tribe ruled not just their own mountain valley, but also the valleys on either side, creating a nice safe buffer zone. Prosperity was at an all-time high, with even the poorest people eating every single day and wearing warm clothing instead of tattered rags. Rem had never seen so many surviving babies. Their mothers were well-fed and had abundant milk. The goats and cattle were so numerous that they had to cut down trees to create new pastures.

But, their tiny little kingdom was now large enough and prosperous enough to draw attention from similar tiny kingdoms that had never paid much attention to them before. The wars, which Rem had thought would go away forever, simply continued. That was when Rem decided she needed to learn to read. If she could write down the details of death, she could gain more power than simply killing. She could control the course of destiny.

Rem's father bought a Greek slave, a boy only two years older than her, to be her tutor. He didn't look anything like a Scythian slave, and he didn't act like a slave either. He was clean, haughty, and extremely well-educated, speaking five languages fluently and telling Rem all sorts of things she'd never heard before, about history, and religion, and far-off places. His body was slender and toned, and he spent a lot of time applying oil to his skin and hair. His skin was just a few shades darker than Rem's own, and his eyes always seemed to be laughing.

The first time he saw Rem, he said, in her own language with only the slightest hint of an accent, "I truly am among foreign devils. Hair like fire and eyes like the sky. My clan kills demons like that whenever women spawn them. Real humans have brown eyes and hair that is either black or brown."

And, they let him keep that impression. To him, Rem was a non-human, one of the war demons of the Scythian past returned for a few more games. He was never told how Rem really killed. Only a few within her own tribe were even privileged with that information. Rem's tutor was kept in shackles and watched by bodyguards at all times. He was a foreigner, and he might escape with information, however partial, about the war priestess, the girl who must be protected at all costs.

Rem was immensely intrigued with him. He was just so unlike every other male she'd ever met, and, considering his situation, he was entirely brave and fearless. She loved talking to him, being taught by him, and she often stayed up late, huddled with him over oil lamps as the bodyguards nodded off to sleep, as he showed her the right marks and she practiced over and over, scratching them onto scraps of bark. Sometimes when their hands touched accidentally, she felt a kind of spark, a tingling, and she wanted to touch him more.

But, she never did. She was a war priestess, but she couldn't do whatever she wanted. He was still an immensely dangerous foreigner, and, even in the best case, any children produced would face horrible lives once their parents were gone. Racially mixed people were always the first to be suspected in cases of treachery, and it was common, when a war started, to simply slaughter all such people out of hand to avoid problems later. No, their children would only have halfway-decent lives as long as their parents were there to protect them, and after that the children would probably be stripped of their property and, at best, sold into slavery. So, Rem thought about her tutor, but she didn't really touch him, just a few accidental brushes that made her heart beat so much faster. She held herself back. And he didn't touch her, because he knew his hand would get chopped off if he tried anything.

It took two years for the Greek slave to teach Rem reading and writing, and her control over her enemies became very precise. She experimented, and discovered you couldn't control the actions of opposing leaders in such a way as to cause more deaths than would have happened anyway. But, you could make them give orders that would breed mistrust, completely demoralize the army under them, and cause massive desertions. In some ways, Rem supposed she was actually saving lives. Soldiers who ran off and managed to avoid the execution squads searching for deserters probably ended up alive. And, when huge amounts of soldiers deserted all at once, the execution squads were overwhelmed and often deserted as well.

But then, after it became clear that Rem's power had increased as much as it could and she wasn't adding any more tricks to her repertoire, Rem's father acted. Rem came home one day to see her tutor sitting on the floor next to her father, without any shackles or bodyguards. Rem could see an unfocused expression in the teenager's eyes.

Rem said, "What did you do?"

Rem's father simply said, "Poison."

Rem walked over to her tutor and gathered the man in her arms, hugging him gently. She said, "I'm sorry."

His arms snaked around her back. Breathing warmly against her ear, he said, "My beautiful little demon. I knew this would happen. I wish it could have lasted a bit longer. I wish I could have tasted you."

Rem cried in his arms and held him as he became weaker. She was petting his back as his breathing stopped, and then clinging to his warm body as it gradually became cold. Her father had to pry her away or she would have stayed like that for hours.

Rem cornered Bribank privately later, and asked him if there was a way to revive the dead. If so, she would revive her tutor and help him escape back to his own people, even if she had to pay for it with more years of her own lifespan. But, no, there was no way. Death was final, and Bribank wasn't even sure if there was anything after death. Rem was shocked to her core. Shouldn't gods know about something like that? What kind of god was Bribank?

After that, Rem really believed in the ruthlessness of the world even more. It wasn't a fair place, and you had to strike at your enemies hard and fast. The protective buffer zone around her mountain valley grew, as more and more Scythian tribes were conquered by her own, and her tribe even conquered a few little kingdoms of foreigners. But, as always, strife bred strife and there was no true rest, no true safety, even though the prosperity was abundant around Rem, with an entire generation of plump, healthy young children growing up and the elderly leading lives of ease and more forests cut down so there was grazing room for the ever-increasing vast herds.

Rumors of Rem, legends of her, were abundant, and assassins came for her frequently. They rarely got far. But, other threats were moving as well. People were beginning to realize that she couldn't kill without a face. Soldiers with helmets that covered nearly their entire face were immune to Rem, and there were also new intrigues springing up, using proxy leaders and manipulating information.

People were learning that they could keep Rem from causing trouble if she thought someone other than the true leader was in charge. She often wasted her time causing silly, demoralizing behavior in one guy while a different guy actually issued commands to the troops. The two strategies of hiding faces and controlling information were both incredibly devastating to Rem's power.

Then, one of the assassins actually reached Rem, sneaking up on her during a battle, killing all her guards. He was badly injured, crawling toward her as she tried to use a sword to slash off the cloth covering his face. Later, she wanted to kick herself when she realized that she should have used that same sword to stab him in the face. It was just that she'd gotten so used to using her power to kill instead of using physical weapons.

It worked; the fabric was ripped free, and she got a glimpse of his frightened face. One look, and she had his name and was scrambling for the scroll and her pen. She also knew from that look that the assassin was sure he was facing a non-human, one of the demons of legend. It was written all over his face. He was terribly frightened of her, more than anyone should be of another human, even one with special powers. Perhaps that was why, when he slashed at her with his own sword, he took out one eye instead of going for her throat. He had just raised the sword and aimed at the other eye when his heart attack hit him and the sword fell from his fingers. Rem watching him twitching, smiled down at him, and then stepped on his throat.

Even with one eye, she could still kill just as well as before. Bribank told her that as long as she had ownership of the scroll and any lifespan left, she would never need to be blind even if someone got her other eye. If she gave up the shinigami vision and made the deal a second time, her lifespan would be halved yet again, but her eyes would grow back. The shinigami eye deal always included perfect vision. This knowledge gave her bravery.

But, her power was faltering in other ways. Her enemies were learning too much about how to counter it, continually picking at Rem's weak points. She developed a vast network of spies to try to overcome the information flow problems, but it was only a partial help. Keeping her position, keeping her tribe safe and prosperous, was a constant struggle.

Then, when Rem was 25 years old, the Persian army began advancing in her direction, swallowing up little kingdoms like hers as if they were nothing. She managed to slow the advance with quite a few clever tricks, but that only seemed to focus their attention on her more. A huge branch of the army broke off from the main force and headed directly for Rem's valley, and no matter what she tried, nothing stopped them.

Rem retreated up the valley with her tribe and masses of displaced refugees from the settled villages, staying just ahead of the slaughter, hearing distant screams echoing in the clear, sound-carrying mountain air, seeing the rising smoke of everything burned to the ground. She killed again and again before each retreat, but it never helped.

Rem was always the one who was best-hidden, best protected as others gave their lives for her. Her people knew she was their best chance at survival, so they had no qualms about protecting her, but she could see the betrayal in their faces. Many had lost faith in their religion. They keened to their gods in sobbing prayers when they thought she couldn't hear, asking why the blessing had been taken away, asking why, if the blessing had not been taken away, one of the gods still stood beside the war priestess. Had the gods abandoned them, or not? It was all so unclear.

Bribank only grinned. Rem begged him for help. He could go to the army and kill them all if he pleased. She promised mountains of fruit, vast expeditions to bring back more pomegranates than he could ever eat. But, he refused. He was her god, she was his priestess, but he refused to help. He said she had to get out of this problem herself. If the power he had lent her wasn't good enough, she would die along with all her people.

And, that is what happened. Everyone Rem knew was slaughtered except for a small group of people, mostly some of the minor leaders and their grown children. Rem's father was dead, and so were most of the important leaders. It was not a battle any more, but an attempt at escape. If they could just make it over a certain mountain pass they could see in the distance, even though it was choked with snow, they could hide and create a new life. With the power of the scroll, they could quickly create riches wherever they went; they just had to escape from the army first.

The army caught up to them in the middle of an alpine pasture, where a few lost, confused goats were wandering around and bleating plaintively. With a flurry of launched arrows, everyone was dead except for Rem. She ran for the edge of the forest, though she had little hope.

Rem said, "Bribank, do you want to start again somewhere else? We can do it again. I know you won't kill for me, but just distract those behind me so I can get away, or pick me up and fly to a safe place."

Bribank said nothing. Rem glanced behind her. They were advancing too quickly. With a hidden movement and a fake stumble, Rem shoved the scroll under a bush. She didn't want them to get it, and, if by chance she lived, she could come back and retrieve it. Then she put everything she had into running, running for the forest, her heart about to burst from the exertion. Vaguely, she remembered that this pasture was one of the new ones created for their larger flocks of goats. If not for her own actions of having so many trees cut down, she would already be in the forest.

She was almost within reaching distance of the first trees when several strong arms caught her all at once. Men quickly surrounded her on every side and completely immobilized her, but they didn't harm her. All their faces were covered. She tried to speak to those around her, but they only replied in a language she couldn't understand. They laughed among themselves as they talked to each other, their gestures crude. Rem began to get very, very frightened of what they might do.

Then a tall man with higher-quality armor came forward and, in her own language, he said, "Ah, so we have captured the demon at last. It does indeed look exactly like a young woman. From now on, demon, your power will be used for our empire. We will crush the Scythians and many others, creating a glory like nothing the world has ever known. Everyone else will be dead, or our slaves."

Rem tried to decide what to do. If she played along with this man, perhaps she could create a situation where she could escape. But, after that, she would have to flee very far. Her description would be everywhere, and the Persians would surely offer an immense reward for her capture. But, if she killed anyone for this man, he would probably figure out how her power worked and kill her, becoming the owner of her scroll. Playing along with her captor was extremely risky, and would only work if she could withhold information in exactly the right way until the moment for escape presented itself.

Rem said, "You have indeed gained ownership of me, human. But my power is limited. I have killed so many humans recently that I cannot kill for a time. Also, I am the sort of demon who is attached to a place. I cannot kill unless I am within my home valley when I use my power."

The man's face was covered, so Rem couldn't judge his facial expression. Did he believe her or not?

The man said, "You won't be spared the standard treatment for prisoners. You must understand that you are crushed, that we own you, that you have no will. When you understand that completely, then we will know that everything you tell us is the truth."

Rem was terribly frightened. She saw the men forming a line with her at the head of it as men at either side of her forced her to the ground, holding her arms and legs, pinning her securely. She knew what standard treatment for prisoners was. They wouldn't let her up until they were sure she was completely broken, an obedient mental wreck.

It wasn't until the third man entered her that she belatedly remembered her last option, the service she should have asked Bribank to do before the first rape even started.

Rem screamed, "Kill me! Kill me, Bribank!"

And, forty seconds later, she felt her heart stop.

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

Poor Rem. I made her history as a human death note user kind of like Light's is in canon: someone trying to use violent slaughters to create a utopia, succeeding partly but never really reaching the goal, having horrible things happen along the way (including the death of a comrade that caused a hardening of the emotions afterwards) and then being cornered by enemies and experiencing a pathetic death.

Oh, and the idea that the death note would be a scroll in olden days instead of a notebook is something that the canon writer has suggested in interviews but obviously never explored in canon.

Okay, one more chapter to go!

The will-L-ever-figure-out-Rem-is-inside-his-body cliffhanger will be answered, and a bunch of other things will happen that my readers may have thought I'd forgotten about - such as the chainsaw-beheading scene. Yes, I haven't forgotten that stuff!

Also, L still hasn't gotten to the real consequences of not being human. Just like Nu said, those effects take many years to show up. L isn't quite there yet, but he will be (and I guess Gerard and Dolores will be too if they live long enough, but they're not part of the storyline anymore, so who cares?).


	26. Tattoos I

CHAPTER 26: TATTOOS I

Rem was surprised at how it felt to be inhabiting L's body. Human bodies were much more sensitive than shinigami bodies. It had been so very long that the awareness of the details of being human had faded. Remembering the events of her human life was one thing, but remembering the exact feelings was something else altogether. Eating for the first time in over two thousand years was an adventure in itself. Everything felt stronger, more intense than Rem remembered from the first time around. Just the physical sensation of L's clothing shifting against his body as he walked was far more than Rem thought it should be.

Additionally, shinigami bodies felt mostly dead inside, but Rem could feel L's heart beating, and various sensations in his gut, and some soreness along his upper back and neck where his poor posture was affecting him. There were so many different sensations at once, both outside and in, that it was difficult to sort it all out.

The bells were a particular annoyance. L was right; they never actually stopped. It sounded like something far away, beautiful tinkling chimes, and it wouldn't be bad at all if they would just end at some point. As Rem slowly adjusted to their presence, she gained a new respect for L. How did he manage to think so much with the bells constantly ringing?

But feeling L's emotions on top of it all was truly overwhelming. He was permeated by a deep sadness, and Rem wanted so desperately to tell him it was okay, that she was still alive and with him, but he couldn't hear her thoughts and nothing she did seemed to provoke any response in his body. Perhaps he could feel her emotions just as he felt hers? Rem forced herself to feel completely incongruous emotions, things exactly the opposite of what L was feeling. If he could feel her emotions at all, he should notice the difference; he should eventually realize that emotions other than his own were within him.

But L didn't seem to notice. Rem tried over and over. Well, if Jealous never managed to get through to Misa over the course of slightly more than seven years, then it must be a hard thing to do, but that didn't mean it was impossible. After all, L was considerably smarter than Misa. If anyone could figure it out, he would.

Rem's funeral was a few days later, and had even fewer guests attending than her wedding. The circle of people L felt even slightly close to had always been small, and it was shrinking. The coffin held her sand. L barely spoke to anyone and cried a lot. L did not feel up to it, so Mello gave the eulogy. Rem was surprised at how good it was. Mello had really grown from the impulsive teenager she'd first met. His words were measured and very eloquent, and the look on his face was extremely mature. After Mello's speech was done, L came up and hugged him. Rem wondered how strange that must look. Mello, now in his mid-thirties, was a decade younger, but L now looked like he must be the younger one.

After the funeral, L cancelled all his cases and went by himself to an isolated country home he had in the north of Scotland. All the rooms were plain and almost bare of furniture, and there were no servants. L spent a lot of time performing martial arts exercises, meditating in various yoga poses, and sitting outside, where he had a good view of some of the better Scottish mountains and, in the far distance, the twinkling of the sea, just a tiny slice of visible ocean that shot back sun-reflections from its waves. Rem continued her attempts to get his attention, but he seemed to take no notice of them.

Rem had to admit, though, it was nice to be back in a human body. Sometimes it approached sensory overload, but it was far better than being a shinigami, numb and barely feeling. Yes, L did have some pain. Rem resolved that if she managed to communicate with him she'd get him to see a chiropractor more often about his back and neck, but the majority of the new sensations were good. Rem loved it every time L bathed or showered, the relaxation of the warm water and the soothing motions of a sudsy cloth working across his entire skin bit by bit. She loved it when he took short walks outside and she could feel the cold crispness of the air each time he had an intake of breath. As a shinigami, she'd barely felt heat and cold, but now she enjoyed both sensations.

Rem was impatient for L to touch himself. She hadn't had an orgasm for over two thousand years, and now that she was capable of it once again, she could hardly wait. But, L was grieving, and Rem knew that masturbation was closely associated with her memory. That was the only thing that could possibly be holding him back, because L did get horny. Rem could feel it. It was such a heavy, tense feeling, almost uncomfortable, yet it was the kind of feeling that longed to increase itself; it was an irritation you wanted to feed. When L got erections, every little movement of clothing that brushed against his penis was maddening and immensely delicious at once. Still, L continued to ignore his lust.

Then, a week and a half after Rem's death, L woke up in the grip of a tremendous, overwhelming horniness. Rem could feel that his erection was more engorged and sensitive than ever, it was so thick and straining almost painfully against the confines of his boxers, the only clothing he was wearing. L rolled around in bed uncomfortably, seemingly waiting for it to go away.

_Oh, touch it, please touch it. I need you to touch it for me. Now you can make me feel what you feel. That's what you want. That's just what you've always wanted._

L's penis felt like it was only getting harder. L shifted back and forth restlessly, gradually building up a kind of unintentional rhythm, almost beginning to hump the mattress beneath him. Finally, Rem felt him pulling off his boxers and then he kicked off the blanket as well and looked at his erection.

When his hands slipped around it, Rem wanted to groan in pleasure. It was so good. She needed that touch badly, and his fingers were working along the sides of the erection, teasing it in just the right way, soothing it and yet bringing it to greater heights of arousal at the same time. But the dry fondling was nothing compared to when L got out the lubricant. Wet friction was just so good, so extremely perfect.

Rem wanted to melt. The feeling of it was driving her crazy, and it was even more intense because of sensing his emotions at the same time as his physical sensations. They really were having a sex act in tandem this time, with touches and responses, in some ways more intimate than anything two humans could do. Well, at least from Rem's perspective. From L's perspective, it was probably a very ordinary act of wanking off.

Then, when L leaned forward and began licking his tip, it was ten times the intensity of before. Rem would have screamed if she could, her mind feeling like it was unraveling from the pleasure of the onslaught of his lips and tongue and teeth. He worked at the tip of his penis hungrily, pulling as much as he could into his mouth, swirling his tongue, moaning as he pleasured himself, and every movement was such a tender bliss for Rem. She wanted everything he did so very badly. Rem knew she would have already come by now if she'd been the main occupant of the body, but it was obvious that everything this body did was according to L, not Rem. Rem was just along for the ride, so she'd have to wait until his orgasm, because it would also be her own. But, it was a very beautiful ride. The tip of his penis was very sensitive as he licked and sucked, his fingers sliding up and down the shaft, everything working together perfectly.

_Suck it, yes, suck it, just like that. Yes, teeth, tongue and lips. Harder! Ah!_

When L had worked himself into a frenzy, and Rem into a much greater frenzy, he released the tip from his mouth and leaned back on the bed, stroking almost violently, hard and fast and insistent. Rem could feel L's body instantly responding to the speed and intense pressure. L's hands were so skilled. Yes, the feeling was rising to a fever pitch. Everything was tight and hot and rising, a kind of electricity and fire, tingling and tense and so incredibly good, exactly what Rem needed. She wanted to scream from the pleasure and anticipation so badly, but L was oddly silent, not indulging in his usual dirty talk.

Then everything was drawing together with an incredible trembling heaviness, and all at once L released. As he did so, he yelled, "Rem!"

The orgasm was completely overwhelming, several distinct waves of white-hot pleasure moving through L's body. Rem felt like she was drowning in it; it was turning her mind inside-out with its sheer force as L's penis twitched and unloaded, and then his body trembled, rippling with aftershocks. It was unbelievably good, it felt so right and perfect, and Rem was already looking forward to the next time, hoping that L would continue the session.

But, instead, Rem felt sadness emanating from L immediately following his pleasure. He curled up in a ball and cried for nearly an hour, then cleaned himself, drank some hot tea, and went on a walk. Rem strengthened her resolve to get through to him. L didn't deserve to go through this. If he just knew the actual situation, the two of them could be having so much fun.

Rem continued her efforts to communicate with L, enjoying those times he touched himself and feeling sorry for him most of the rest of the time. A month after Rem's death, L visited her grave for the first time. The headstone said "Rem Coil" and was already decorated with flowers. L brought nothing, but simply crouched on the ground and looked at the grave for the longest time. Rem could feel him having an introspective mood.

Finally, he cleared his throat and said, "Rem, I feel silly saying this, but I keep thinking you are still with me. I'm not as sad as I should be, and it's because I don't really believe you've left. It's a kind of denial that is common when dealing with a loss like this. I could talk about it until I sounded like a textbook. But, I feel as if it is different with me. Nobody else has experienced this. I... I particularly feel it when I look in a mirror."

L was silent for a long time and Rem's hope swelled. L was so close. He almost knew. He had that same feeling that Rem used to have when Misa was alive, the sense of Jealous's presence.

L said, "Rem, are you a ghost hovering over my shoulder? If you are here, please show me something, please do something."

Rem used all her willpower to try to move one of L's fingers, but it just wouldn't budge. Then she went through an assortment of emotions, one after the other, ones she was sure L would know weren't his own, especially in such an odd sequence. L waited, sad and frustrated. Nothing. Ten minutes later, he got up and left. Rem tried to analyze the situation. Was there anything she could do? If he couldn't feel her emotions, and she couldn't do anything to his body, and the only thing he'd ever have was a vague irrational belief that she was present, could he ever figure it out? The greatest detective in the world couldn't deduce anything without evidence, and a feeling that Rem was somehow still around wasn't evidence.

Rem kept trying, especially whenever L looked in the mirror. For five years, the only progress she made was that L began to have one-sided talks where he stood in front of a mirror and poured out his feelings, often starting out each session by saying something like, "Rem, if you were here, I would tell you..."

Three years after Rem's death, L found another lover. It happened much like L's first encounter with Rem. Light discovered L masturbating and decided to help him. L was lonely and frustrated, and Rem found she just didn't care by that point. She didn't hate Light any more. Light was different, after all. Although definite elements of the human he'd once been were present, he'd changed quite a lot.

Rem had to admit that even as a human Light wasn't evil so much as tragic. With his personality, he hadn't had much chance when presented with a temptation like the death note, and, besides, Rem had done much the same thing with her own death note. Rem knew Light hadn't meant to rape Jealous, it had been a complete accident, and he hadn't been vindictive when he wrote down L's name, he'd been more curious than anything. His present self had nothing against L, and, over the years, L had developed a similar attitude in return.

No, it was more than that. L appreciated Light and had found a friend in him. Under guidance from both Ryuk and L, Light had slowly shed the worst of his passivity and developed more emotions. He had retained his exceptional intelligence through the transition from human to shinigami, and he sometimes helped L with cases, though he did have a tendency to lose interest in the middle and let L finish up by himself. But, those times the two worked together, they did make quite a detective team, and since Rem could feel L's emotions she knew exactly what they were. When L looked at Light, he felt friendship with just a hint of rivalry. And, Rem knew L felt friendship towards almost nobody. Light was one of a precious few.

So, when Light found L indulged in a masturbation session that L was finding frustrating, and Light reached down and said, "Let me help with that," Rem felt no revulsion, only an anticipation.

At that first internal touch, Rem immediately knew why L had become addicted to shinigami sexual help so quickly. It was eye-crossing, toe-curling pleasure, it was like nothing else L had ever done. Light was touching intimate places that no human ever could. It was simply pure insanity, stimulation beyond any normal limits. L had occasionally masturbated by inserting a dildo or vibrator in his rectum to stimulate the prostate, but that was mild compared to what a shinigami could do, not just to the prostate but also to many different internal structures.

Rem wanted more, more, more. She wanted Light to fuck them furiously until they came. It was so good. Light was working his way right to the core of the human sexual response, bypassing the normal avenues of stimulation and going directly to the source. Amid the building surges of pleasure, Rem was dimly aware of the irony. They were all indulged in that ridiculous threesome Light had suggested out of pure desperation more than twenty years ago, though neither L nor Light knew there was a third party present.

But then, her thoughts were all going away, blanked out by the good feelings that were building to such impossible heights, and she felt her throat, L's throat, screaming in ecstasy and in the next moment all the lust and pressure and intensity gathered together at the base of L's penis and then shot up through the shaft and out the tip as his body, her body, shook, the back arched so far.

_Yes, yes, this! I wanted this. I need it!_

In the afterglow, Rem could feel L's contentment and satisfaction. He'd been very sexually frustrated, with only his own hands and mouth to satisfy himself. He needed a partner, a friend. And, Light was astonished to see what he could do to L, to observe the heights of ecstasy a human could reach. He was curious about the whole process and saw it as an extension of their friendship.

When Ryuk found out, he laughed and said, "I always knew there was something between you two."

Over the next two years, L's relationship with Light progressed. He showed Light all the ways a shinigami could pleasure a human, and Light soon learned to intensify the orgasms even more. L and Light became closer, spending more time talking than they ever had before. Rem was ecstatic. L was healing emotionally from her death, and he was now being satisfied sexually in such a wonderful way, with her along for the ride.

Then, when L was fifty years old, but looked like he was perhaps in his late twenties, Rem was surprised when he woke up one morning and she could no longer feel his right arm. The sensation there was simply gone for her, but L was acting normally. He could obviously feel that arm even though Rem couldn't. Rem tried to extend her awareness into the arm, and after a couple minutes of frustrated trying, her awareness flowed down L's arm to the end and she could feel it again. Rem tried to withdraw, and was able to do it.

Within a few hours, she had figured out how to withdraw her awareness of touch out of any part of L's body. However, other senses were separate from the sense of touch. Even if Rem withdrew her awareness out of L's head, she could still see through his eyes and hear through his ears, she just couldn't feel his head.

When Rem was sure she had pretty good control over the power she'd just discovered, she decided to see how far she could take it. She withdrew her awareness to a smaller and smaller area, shrinking to a point just above L's bellybutton. Suddenly, L itched that exact spot furiously, until Rem expanded and then he stopped.

Rem tried it again, this time with an elbow. L itched. She tried with his neck. L itched again. Rem wanted to jump and dance for joy and shout to the world that she'd discovered it, she could now communicate with L. It was only a matter of time.

Rem waited until L was in front of the mirror, having one of his talking sessions, and then she made his right nipple itch. As soon as he scratched it, she switched to his left, and then made his right nipple itch twice in a row, and then the left nipple twice. She kept increasing the number of itching events, going from two events on each nipple to three, and then four. L was definitely thinking. Rem knew the look in his eyes. When Rem got to five, L suddenly said, "Rem, if that is you, make my right elbow itch."

Rem did so immediately, and L nearly fell over, steadying himself against the wall with a hand, his breathing heavy, his dark eyes wide and round. Rem could feel love and hope and confusion surging within him all at once. L recovered his balance in the next moment and ripped off his shirt. He ran to a nearby desk, picked up a black marker, and in a few moments had covered his chest and stomach with all the letters of the alphabet, in mirror-reversed writing. It formed a perfect keyboard for Rem to itch out any message she wanted.

Standing in front of the mirror once again, he said, "Rem, talk to me."

Rem caused the itch in letter after letter, a bit wobbly as to exact targeting but L seemed to realize that and helped by touching each itch as it occurred. Rem slowly spelled out, I-L-O-V-E-Y-O-U-L and saw tears begin to run down his face.

He said, "How long have you been here?"

E-V-E-R-S-I-N-C-E-M-Y-D-E-A-T-H

"Will you stay?"

Y-E-S

L said, "I will get something more permanent than these markers soon. But, for now, I want to talk. I love you, Rem. How have you been? Are you happy?"

Rem had a tremendous surge of love and relief, and then she began one of the strangest conversations of her life.

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

I think you can probably guess what kind of tattoos L is going to get. If anyone wants to, I would LOVE to see a fan-art of that: topless L, standing in front of a mirror, every letter of the alphabet tattooed on his chest and stomach. There's something very sexy about that image.

Edited to add: icaughtkira is working on the fanart! Thanks so much!


	27. Tattoos II

CHAPTER 27: TATTOOS II

L was extremely glad to discover Rem hadn't truly died, but he felt guilty about her having restricted choices in life. She couldn't do a thing without asking him to do it for her. Rem explained to L that she was glad; the trade-off had been worth it. Being human felt so much better than being a shinigami. Just the orgasms alone would have been worth the drawbacks, but the entire experience was enjoyable. It took a little time to convince L, but after listening to her descriptions of the differences, he believed her.

The next issue to resolve was what to do about the surprise threesome relationship. L felt guilty about having yet another lover on the side after marrying Rem and promising not to cheat. That issue took much more talking to resolve, but L saw reason when Rem explained he'd kept his "til death do us part" promise and that the situation was now entirely different, because with two beings inside one body decisions couldn't be made in the normal way.

The logic finally got through to L. He agreed that they should act, in at least some ways, as if they were one person, and they should jointly make decisions about sex and lovers. With that established, Rem explained how much she enjoyed L's encounters with Light, and how she could tell L was in love with Light and she wouldn't want L to be restricted to nothing except masturbation for the rest of his life just because an accident had caused a shinigami to occupy his body. Rem told L what she'd seen happen to his lifespan when she died, that he might have 180 years left to live unless his quasi-human status made his lifespan meaningless. That was a long time to restrict yourself to masturbation only.

L had soon replaced the markers with a tattooed alphabet of letters in the same font he used for his "L" in communications with law enforcement and the public. The tattoos made it easy for Rem to spell out messages to him. He quickly memorized the locations, whether he had his shirt on or off, but for some time Rem was often iffy about exactly which place she was aiming the itch at unless she could see the letters, so L installed lots of mirrors where he worked and lived and he wandered around topless, keeping his environments a few degrees warmer to compensate.

In about a year, Rem had memorized the locations of each letter and had become lightning-fast at spelling things out, and they'd also developed a system of even quicker signals: the right elbow for yes, left elbow for no, L's forehead for Rem wanting him to look around, L's feet for Rem wanting him to get up and go somewhere, and L's chin for "stop" or "wait."

Unless the message was private, L took to vocalizing all of Rem's messages in a different voice, allowing her to easily talk to any others present. Of those who knew about Rem's existence, not all of them believed Rem was now inside L's body. In the opinions of some of L's close associates, L had simply gone insane.

To everyone who didn't know of Rem's existence as a shinigami, L claimed to be a multiple personality and he also used the "Rem voice" with those people if she had anything to say. People did not react well, but L, as usual, just didn't care about other people's opinions. He had never been willing to adjust his habits to suit their expectations.

Light reacted to the news with a lot of curiosity. He questioned Rem relentlessly about all the details of being human, the things that were worse and the things that were better. He was especially interested in the itching trick, in the exact mechanics of how it felt to cause it. Light grinned when he found out that Rem had to be careful not to make the area become too small, or it was an almost unbearable itch.

L studied Light's reactions and the things he chose to ask Rem, and at the end of Light's first questioning session, he said, "You are planning to become human, aren't you, Light?"

"Thinking about it."

L clung to Light's arm and said, "I'm not sure you would like to lose so much control. I know your human self, and if you become him again, you might be horrified at what you've done. Also, if you regained your memories you might hate me for being your enemy."

"But, you didn't do anything bad other than chasing me and gathering evidence, all the things you've told me. It was just a game. I could always play another game with you. Also, as long as I have the power to create an intolerable itch, I don't think the original owner of the body will be able to boss me around too badly."

L said, "You're smarter than this. It would be unwise to gamble this way. You've only seen one example, and it may not be a typical experience."

Light replied, "That's why I'm going to perform a lot of experiments first."

L wasn't sure whether to be horrified or fascinated by the mission Light took up. Light went on frequent trips to the shinigami realm, where he told everyone about Rem's experience and tried to get gods of death interested in getting themselves stuck in human bodies. L kept tabs on the process as much as he could, mainly through bribing Ryuk, and L tried to make sure all the gods of death were fully informed about both the benefits and the drawbacks of such an existence.

Light's crusade stirred more interest in the shinigami realm than Rem could ever remember. Even some of the hard-core gambling addicts were intrigued by the thought of a life where real risks existed, where existence was meaningful, and where sensations off-limits to gods of death could be fully explored. A number of shinigami started up habits of watching particular humans through the viewing portals, or even visiting the human realm directly, searching out young, healthy humans with short lifespans and trying to develop emotional attachments to them in hopes of averting their murders.

Rem was surprised then, to see the first success only a few months after Light launched his mission, and she was even more surprised to see which shinigami had succeeded, perhaps the last one Rem thought of as being capable of forming an emotional attachment to anyone.

L was staying in a high-security building when a woman came to the front door, looked straight into the video camera, and said, "L, I know you are in there. I need your help."

The woman's voice had the toneless, breathy quality Rem had come to associate with the deaf.

L, upset that his location had been leaked, ushered her inside and had an associate talk with her, pretending to be the real L in order to get her story.

The woman simply said, "I know you aren't L. L is thin, has bags under his eyes, and black hair. I also need to talk with Rem, the shinigami inside L."

Then L had met with the woman personally, and she poured out her story. Her name was Marissa, and Nu had appeared to her and explained that Marissa might die unless she let Nu save her, but the price would be that Nu would dwell inside her body after that. Nu couldn't say when Marissa might die, but until then, she wanted to be friends.

The two of them shared a taste in really sad, tragic novels, and they'd hit it off right away. Only a few months later, Marissa's ex-boyfriend had tried to kill her. Nu wasn't present at the time. She'd earlier explained she wouldn't be there at Marissa's destined time of death because Nu needed to crumble to sand in the shinigami realm, to avoid letting a dangerous weapon loose on humans and possibly wiping Marissa's memory of Nu in the process.

L helped Marissa and Nu figure out a form of communication that would work without Marissa needing to go topless in front of mirrors with letters tattooed all over her torso. When Nu learned the itching trick, which didn't take long since it was apparently easy to learn after you had a description of how to do it, she directed Marissa's finger and hand motions in intricate ways. Each itch was a directional signal for whatever finger, fingertip, or hand part it was on. Marissa moved each part towards the itch. In the process, Nu could direct Marissa to do sign language that formed Nu's messages. Even after being stuck in human bodies, gods of death still knew all languages, so Nu knew sign language just as fluently as Marissa did.

Nu was very happy with the arrangement she'd made. In the shinigami realm, she'd always had to endure some distant sounds of wind, no matter where she went. But now, occupying a deaf woman, Nu was living in the completely silent world she'd always dreamed of. Nu said it was worth it to endure noise in the human realm for a few months before the blissful silence.

After that, L kept even closer tabs on the progress of shinigami who were trying to form bonds with humans in order to enter their bodies. Some of them experienced repeated failures with humans who were fated to die from causes other than murder, and some of them didn't form the necessary emotional attachments, and so averted murders without the desired result of occupying the human afterwards. Still, by the time five years had passed, seven shinigami were occupying human bodies, all of them had learned the itching trick, and all were more or less happy. If things continued at such a rate, the shinigami realm would be empty in half a century.

That was when Light began planning how he would get himself into a human body. Light wanted to choose a human who would be willing to have a relationship with L and Rem, and that was the tricky part. Not only did the main human occupant of the body need to love L and Rem, but L and Rem needed to be able to love that person in return. Furthermore, if Light simply chose a young, healthy person with a short lifespan, the person might be fated to die from an unexpected medical condition or an accident instead of murder.

L let Light choose the candidates, and then he dated them. Almost all that Light chose were men, because L had told Light that his human self probably wanted to be male, and might be upset if stuck in a female body. Every candidate was also highly intelligent, since L couldn't see himself liking someone of average or lower intelligence, and as a person in his fifties who looked twenty-eight and was dating people in the age range he looked, he needed someone who was well beyond the mindset of the average young person.

L made no secret of his eccentricities or his "multiple personality" status, and many dates ended disastrously within the first 15 minutes. L wasn't fazed at all. He needed someone who had no objections to any of his quirks, and it was more efficient to get rid of those people who had objections as quickly as possible. Of those who got to the stage where they were going on multiple dates with L, most backed out when L introduced them to Light and told them he hoped to put the skull-faced monster inside their body. L purposely did not tell any of them about the saving-your-life part, because he didn't want anyone to start a relationship with him out of desperation.

L did not really hit it off with anyone until he met Mark, a 32-year-old Norwegian man who made his living by creating replicas of 17th century sailing ships. Mark was a brilliant genius, right on the edge of brilliance and insanity. He was every bit as reclusive and anti-social as L and he had a number of odd habits originating from an obsessive-compulsive disorder. L didn't mind any of Mark's quirks, and Mark didn't mind L's quirks. And, Mark was highly fascinated by the idea of having a non-human occupy his body. Light didn't scare him at all.

There was a kind of calm with Mark that Rem liked. It wasn't a cold calm, like the one Dolores had often displayed. It was a warm, loving calm. L and Mark could sit near each other for hours without saying anything, and feel as if they'd had a deep experience. But, they also had long, intellectual discussions about every topic imaginable. L and Mark lived together for six months before they had sex for the first time, and their household ran smoothly along with their relationship. There were few fights, and most were resolved quickly. Rem could easily imagine Mark and L having a happy long-term relationship.

The first few sexual experiences with Mark were without Light present. It was just L, Rem and Mark trying to get used to the dynamics of their relationship before adding yet another element. Human sex wasn't as good as shinigami sex, at least in terms of the level of stimulation possible, but it was a lot better than masturbation and it had other advantages. Stimulation wasn't everything. There was something very profound about being held in a warm human embrace during sex, skin against skin, seeing and feeling the other person's responses. L was so happy being cuddled and fucked by someone who could feel what he felt, and with no protective blanket forming a barrier. There was something incredibly intimate about the entire experience.

And then, Light began joining them nearly every time, and sex got even better. Rem was a bit sad about Light's desire to be human. Once it happened, there would be no more shinigami sex, and she was also frightened that Light might take on the ugly aspects of his old human personality. He had been quite a flawed, corrupted person, especially towards the end. But, he'd died and been through a lot since then, and being a shinigami was almost like a jail sentence, and if he'd been allowed to live out his lifespan as a human in jail, he'd have died before this time. So, if death or life in prison absolved a criminal's debt to society, then Light had already paid both those prices.

But, before a full year had passed in Mark and L's relationship, an angry client who had been in litigation with Mark for years over a supposedly faulty ship lost the case and went after him in a rage. Light knew Mark's exact time of death, so he watched events from a portal in the shinigami realm and killed the attacker, making sure his death note did not end up in the human realm.

L's relationship with Light/Mark was more complex than his relationship with Mark alone had been. Hints of the old rivalry were present, and, in a sense, Rem thought that Light and L were still engaged in some kind of game with each other. There was more of a spark, more sexual tension, then there had been between L and Mark alone, and L's emotions during sex were much happier. L was very pleased to finally be having real sex with Light.

For his part, Light was a complete sex maniac. He tried to convince Mark to have sex far more often than the guy wanted, even more often than L wanted, and L had a pretty strong sex drive. On many occasions, L had to scold Light about trying to push Mark into sex by using the itching trick, and L wasn't afraid to withhold sex as a punishment if he thought Light was being mean to Mark in any way. Light reluctantly gave way as a result of L's punishments, and most of the time he was quite nice to Mark.

L's detective work continued throughout all this. Matsuda had retired and was only seen on occasional visits, but Mello, Matt and Near continued to be part of the "L" detective agency along with L himself. L was still extremely paranoid about his identity, but even with his great care, there had been some small leaks of information over the years. Law enforcement agencies were now sure that "L" was a group of people, and they had rudimentary physical descriptions of L, Mello, Matt and Near. Although, they erroneously thought that L was the youngest of the bunch. L attempted to nullify the leaks by frequently using proxies and by planting false rumors, but it only worked to some extent.

The problem wasn't really that law enforcement agencies had some idea who "L" might be. Rather, it was that knowledge held by those agencies would leak to the criminal underworld. Armed with a small amount of information, crime bosses began targeting L and his associates, and there were a number of narrow escapes.

To avoid this attention, L tried to work under the name "L" less and under his other detective aliases more, but unfortunately he often needed a great deal of cooperation and respect from law enforcement agencies, and nobody else had as much clout as "L" did. It wasn't like L could let it be known that his other aliases were also "L" because that would defeat the purpose of hiding from crime bosses.

Eventually L did get cornered in a bad way. He was trapped in an abandoned building that was collapsing because criminals were tearing down the front using construction equipment. L had to gradually work his way to the back of the building, constantly looking for an alternate way out, because he knew there was a gunman waiting at the back entrance. Along the way, there was nothing, not even a window, and the building was collapsing constantly behind him.

At last L was flattened against the wall near the back entrance, ready to dash for it and hope for the best. He waited until the last possible second, and then ran.

Rem heard the gunshot immediately and, at the same moment, she saw L reach out, make an enormously quick movement, and snatch the bullet from the air. L peered at it, frozen in astonishment at what he'd done, but then another gunshot rang out, and L caught the next bullet. Wonder and excitement and determination were all overwhelming L. He made his way toward the gunman, who was hiding behind a broken fragment of what had once been a stone wall, snatching bullets from the air one after the other.

When L had almost reached the fragment of stone wall, the gunman stood up, trembling, and shot one last bullet directly at L. L neatly caught it, and said, in a calm and amused tone of voice, "I think you should know that I am L, and that I'm not human."

The gunman immediately gave up and let himself be led away. After that, L tested himself in various ways. He tried to snatch bullets from the air at his private firing range, and failed. He tried to provoke super-speed in all sorts of ways, and failed. He didn't understand how he could do something so many times in a row and then suddenly lose the ability. But, soon an event occurred that helped L start to understand what was really going on. The latest Watari, a man in his forties with a thin mustache and slicked-down black hair, came to L one day trembling and almost in tears.

Watari explained that he'd been poisoning L's food for months, because crime bosses had uncovered his identity as Watari and threatened to kill his entire family if he didn't cooperate. He begged for forgiveness and said he was a despicable person. L relieved Watari of his job after putting himself and his family into protective custody, and then L went after the criminals responsible and caught them. L had his body tested, and found multiple poisons in his system, in doses large enough to kill hundreds of people. He should have at least had some ill effect, but there was no reaction at all.

L was beginning to understand, but it was the third assassination attempt that made everything clear. This time, L was kidnapped and put in heavy restraints. He was placed in handcuffs and shackles, and then into a cloth sack with just his head sticking out, and then additional chains were wrapped around that. He struggled but was completely immobilized. Then, while two criminals stood on guard with guns and one held a video camera to record the execution of L, a fourth criminal approached with a chainsaw, aiming it right at the neck to cut off L's head.

At the last moment, L suddenly burst all his restraints, grabbed the blade of the running chainsaw and, without any injury at all, began tearing it apart with his bare hands. The motor shrieked and smoke came out briefly before it stopped, and then there was only the scream of twisting metal as L continued to dismantle the thing. The guy who had been holding the chainsaw ran out and left.

In the next moment, L turned his gaze to the three remaining criminals and said, "Give up, and help me catch all your associates, and you'll have lighter sentences."

The cameraman and one gunman held up their hands in surrender, but the other gunman fired a few bullets, only to watch L catch each one.

L looked at him calmly and said, "You can still receive a slightly lighter sentence if you are extremely helpful. I suggest you give up."

The last guy dropped his gun and said, "What are you?"

L replied, "I'm someone who's had forbidden contact with the gods. Would you believe I'll be seventy next year?"

L smiled slightly then, and Rem could feel a kind of predatory satisfaction within him. L loved catching criminals and, on rare occasions, he liked seeing people react to his secrets.

After that event, L understood how it worked. If his life were threatened, he'd become physically capable of doing whatever was needed to save his life. This was the positive side effect of the cracks, and it had taken quite a number of years to show up, just as Nu had indicated.

The other people who'd had sexual contact with shinigami eventually showed the same ability, including Mark. L kept doing his detective work through the years, sometimes taking more risks in cases since he knew he couldn't get killed. As the years passed, his fully human friends and acquaintances died one by one of old age. The "L" detective agency took on new members to replace Mello, Matt and Near. The shinigami realm continued to empty, until there were only five left, including Ryuk. Ryuk didn't want to be human. He liked flying and not having any responsibilities and being able to spy on anyone, and he had no interest in sex whatsoever. He thought it was extremely disgusting, and outright stated that it wouldn't be worth it no matter how good it felt.

L stayed in touch with many of the shinigami-occupied humans over the years. The ones who'd had sexual contact with shinigami aged at a very slow rate, but the others aged normally and showed no special powers other than the linguistic knowledge and other knowledge held by the gods of death within their bodies.

Throughout his entire life, L aged slowly. He didn't appear to be in his thirties until he was in his late nineties, and he didn't seem middle-aged until he was about 150. He did certainly get old, very slowly, and his body wore out a little, but he was almost ageless to the humans around him.

As L aged, he couldn't stay up such long hours any more without paying a price, and his detective work slowed down. Old L looked a bit like Einstein, and Rem considered it to be appropriate. L was an aging genius, far older than hardly anyone knew, but his mind was as sharp as ever. Rem wondered if L would live out the entire lifespan she'd seen above his head, and she wondered if Light/Mark would live out Light's shinigami lifespan of approximately 100,000 years.

After many happy years, Rem had the answer to one of those questions. L died quite suddenly, right after a bursting pain in his head. He was 230 years old; it was exactly when his lifespan ran out. Light/Mark was there at the time and caught L as he was falling, gently cradling him as L looked up and shakily snaked his arms around Light/Mark in a hug. It was an eerie repeat of the incident when Rem had pretended to kill L 205 years before in the Kira task force headquarters. In the designated Light voice, Mark said, "L, I love you."

And then, everything went black. It was kind of like sleep for a long time, with a very dim awareness, overwhelmed with drowsiness, nearly unconscious. Then Rem began hearing sounds, soft and indistinct at first, but gradually growing louder. There was a steady back-and-forth whooshing that sounded more and more like ocean waves, and the calls of sea birds, along with tiger-like growls and distant sounds that might be screams. Rem began feeling things, light shining on her face, a surface like warm sand underneath her. At first, she could only lie there, paralyzed, but suddenly she breathed, and realized she hadn't been breathing before, and her eyes came open and she sat up.

Rem saw she was sitting on a long, narrow strip of beach that went as far as the eye could see in front of her and behind her. To her left, there was the ocean and, to her right, the beach sand soon transitioned into the wildest-looking jungle she'd ever seen. Above, the sky was cloudless, bright and mostly blue, but completely devoid of the sun or moon. Looking toward the jungle, it seemed as if the sun had recently set beyond distant mountains, and the sky there was tinged with red. In the opposite direction from the jungle, the ocean itself went on to the horizon with no sign of other land, but there were a few things that looked like mostly-submerged coral reefs, and, far out, weird fish surfaced and dived constantly. Rem could only see their backs, but they looked alien, covered with plates and spikes. At least half of them were a bright, garish orange.

But it was the noises, not the sights, which drew Rem's attention the most. The jungle emitted the most disturbing sounds almost constantly. There were growls and roars, like those made by lions or tigers, and weird sounds that might be either screams or birdcalls, it was hard to tell, and heavy snorts, as if something with enormous lungs were breathing noisily, and then there were the footsteps. One or more loud things made footsteps, sometimes seeming to recede into the distance or come closer, pausing occasionally, and during the pauses there were often ripping, snapping sounds like tearing vegetation or small trees being broken off.

As soon as Rem had taken in her first impressions of her environment, she began examining her body. She was human, and female, dressed in her finest Scythian clothing. She recognized her red robe with many small gold plates sewn into the fabric, and her quilted leggings, and her wide leather belt with the belt-plate and belt-hooks carved from cow horn. She reached up to her neck and found her meerschaum and amber necklace. She grabbed a bit of her hair and held it in front of her face, seeing the familiar blazing orange color. Yes, she was back in her original human body, and she even had both eyes.

Rem got up and dragged one booted foot in the sand, digging in and making a mark. It was very fine and dry. She looked along the beach in each direction. It looked unnatural, almost infinite, as if there were no curvature of the earth at all. The narrow beach seemed to extend forever in both directions, with no variation in its features. Rem had the sense that she could walk down it as long as she wanted in either direction and she'd never see any change.

So, then, it was the jungle or the ocean. The jungle was scary. It seemed to exude a presence, a weirdness, and the sounds were creepy, and it was dark, very dark, in the spaces under the trees. It did not seem like a good idea to explore it first. Rem walked toward the ocean. It was bright and smelled wonderfully salty, and something about it was inviting. As she approached the water, suddenly hundreds of extremely tiny blue crabs emerged from the sand and scuttled sideways on elegant, perfectly formed legs, running into the waves and disappearing.

Rem edged forward more cautiously and gazed at the water, standing just above the line of foam and wet sand. Now that she was close, she could see things under the water she didn't understand. Just under the waves, swaying back and forth lazily, there were things that looked like something between long, stringy weeds and tentacles. They were elongated fleshy finger-like branching growths, whitish with a green tinge, and eyeballs were nestled among them. The eyeballs looked rather human, and alive. They had every imaginable iris color, including odd ones such as purple, and they seemed to be looking, actually looking, in whatever direction they were facing.

Rem wanted to get a better look, but when she tried to take the next step she ran into something like an invisible wall. She couldn't feel it, but it stopped her progress along a very precise boundary, and she could even see her clothing flattening as she pressed up against it. It was like pressing yourself against a glass window you couldn't feel. Rem even tried leaning against it, and it supported her weight. Then she kicked it hard. There was no pain, and her foot simply stopped at the boundary, but at that exact instant all the floating eyeballs looked directly at her.

Her heart was pounding in fear and she was scuttling back at the same time, afraid that the tentacles would suddenly rise from the water and grab her. But, as she retreated to the middle of the beach, she could see nothing like that was happening, and it felt peaceful there, like any lazy day relaxing on the beach. Rem sat down in the soft, warm sand and calmed herself, building up her courage for the investigation of the jungle.

When she was ready, she slowly approached the line of thick, almost unbearably green vegetation that formed a nearly perfect straight line at the upper border of the beach. The tallest trees in the jungle were quite high, but there were a lot of different levels to the canopy, and even the undergrowth was rather thick. However, Rem could see from the beach that there were dark, gaping, almost cave-like tunnels through the undergrowth, and barely-perceptible things rustled and thrashed there in the darkness.

As Rem approached, it got colder. Not actually cold, it was just that the warmth was bleeding away. The jungle cast long jagged shadows, like fingers reaching toward the ocean, and the sand under those shadows was cool. Rem shivered a bit and slowed her pace. She was almost expecting it when she ran into another invisible boundary. She pressed herself against it and eyed the jungle in front of her.

She was so close to the place where the sand ran out, but not close enough to even pluck a single green leaf. There were still a few distant roars and bird-screams, but the nearby sounds had become eerily quiet as Rem approached, and now it felt like every creature in that section of jungle was holding its breath, waiting to see what Rem would do. Rem wondered if something was watching her here, too.

She kicked the invisible wall, and suddenly a tree in front of her, or rather parts of it, started shaking and twisting and flowing away. There was something, like a big mass of vegetation, that slithered and climbed through that tree, retreating from Rem. It was all long vines, and leaves, and looping, slender branches, and it was difficult to see where that thing ended and the actual tree began. Then the mass of vegetation leapt from that tree to the next and slithered along, getting further away. By the time it jumped to a third tree, it was almost completely out of sight. Rem listened to its slithering, leafy sounds as they gradually retreated into the jungle, and then she felt her way along the invisible wall, trying to see if it had any holes in it. She found none.

Rem went back toward the ocean and explored the ocean's invisible wall in each direction for a short distance, even trying to dig underneath it, but she found no holes, nor any way to thwart it. But, she did see an additional scary sight under the waves. It was a huge mouth, like something that had been removed from a shark. It was covered with sharp, triangular teeth, and thin, stretched, greenish-yellow flesh, and it was attached to something like a mass of floating jellyfish parts that was perhaps its stomach. It lay there under the water, open and twitching, waiting for something or someone.

Rem considered trying to hike along the length of beach, but something inside her told her it was pointless, that she should stay and wait. Rem didn't know what she was waiting for. Could this possibly be it, the existence she'd have forever and ever? If this was the afterlife, it was some weird combination between pleasurable and creepy. Relaxing on a beach forever wasn't exactly a bad thing, though it was bound to get boring, especially without swimming. Was there some deity who had decided this was what humans wanted? Was this a good afterlife or a bad afterlife, or neither?

Rem decided to do what she could for entertainment in the place she was, so she dug in the sand, finding a wet layer further down, and she pulled up handfuls of the wet sand and began making a sand castle. The middle of the beach had an emotional quality to it that settled over Rem quickly. It created a calm, peaceful feeling, very relaxed, as if nothing could ever go wrong. Yes, every time she reached the middle of the beach, an outside source of relaxation shaped her feelings. It was some kind of magical effect.

Rem kept working on her sand castle, experiencing a lazy pleasure that seeped through her body all the way into her bones, and she'd actually built quite an impressive structure by the time she realized that this place, and her existence, was devoid of all time cues. The sun was neither setting nor rising, and she did not get hungry, or thirsty, or tired. There was no weather whatsoever, only the perpetual blue, bright sky with red just at the horizon in the direction of the jungle.

And then, after what seemed like ages, Rem saw a familiar figure walking along the beach in the distance. She knew that slouched walk, and the white, long-sleeved t-shirt, and the shock of spiky black hair. It was L as she hadn't seen him for a long time, an L looking just a few years older than when she'd first met him. Rem ran toward him, and a moment later, he noticed and was running toward her as well.

When they drew close, Rem slowed down. She was a bit leery. Could this be some kind of monster or apparition, not the real L?

He said, "You're afraid it isn't me. Well it is. It's very nice to see you, Rem."

He placed his thumb just resting gently at his lower lip, and looked at her with an expression of love, his dark eyes like shimmering pools of ink.

Rem got a bit more courage and approached closer. It looked like him. Her emotions told her it was him, but this place was so strange; it was hard to trust anything.

L said, "We're in a very unique situation. It isn't often that two dead people can meet like this. I obtained special permission, and we don't have much time."

With that, Rem suddenly closed the last bit of distance between them, and hugged him close, feeling his arms enclosing her as well.

She said, "What's happening? I don't want to lose you again."

L pet her hair and said, "We'll be parting ways soon, but we'll meet again in the afterlife, in Mu. This place is only a stopping-point for the newly dead. The beach is practically infinite. People who die at the same place and time, as we did, are close enough that it is sometimes possible to travel along the beach and meet before we're forced into the jungle. Then, after going through the jungle, everyone ends up in Mu."

"How do you know all this?"

"I spoke with one of the gatekeepers. The gatekeepers give the dead instructions, and you can't move on from this beach until you've been fully instructed. But, once you have your instructions, the barrier to the jungle disappears and the pull becomes stronger until you must go. Since I've had my instructions, I'm resisting the pull right now. I asked that a gatekeeper wouldn't talk to you until after I'd found you, so we could be together a short time."

Rem hugged L closer, feeling his heartbeat, feeling the warmth of his body.

Then she said, "How long does the jungle take? How long until we meet again after this?"

"The jungle takes a different amount of time for each person. Rem, I believe we're both strong and we will make it through in a short amount of time. The purpose of the jungle is to force you to confront challenging situations based on the life you've lived, and rid yourself of fear, anger and unhealthy attachments. That way, you can be purified and develop a good attitude so you'll be happy in Mu. You'll see people from your life in the jungle, but they won't be real. They will create obstacles and puzzles for you. Winning will not be as important as learning maturity and grace, shedding your negative emotions. If you are brave and learn, the time is brief. If you don't do that, it might take hundreds of years to work your way through the jungle. Everyone makes it out eventually, whether they learn or not."

"We'll truly be together in Mu? You're sure we won't be in separate sections?"

L said, "Everyone is together in Mu. Concepts such as distance, direction and form are meaningless. There is only one location, so to speak, and everyone is in it, but nobody has bodies and there are no objects of any kind. Mu is what you make of it. It is heaven and hell combined into one place, but both of those are merely states of mind. Also, there's not much hell in Mu. Most people are purified in the jungle so they have a positive attitude by the time they reach Mu, and those who are unsatisfied with Mu can choose to reincarnate and try again."

Rem tried to imagine such an existence. If everyone occupied exactly the same place, wouldn't it be confusing? Wouldn't it be boring if there was nothing there at all? She supposed you could talk with other people, but it didn't sound like a nice way to spend eternity.

Rem said, "If there's nothing there, and nothing happens, how can it be good?"

L said, "If you feel happy all the time and everyone that you love is with you, then you don't really need things at all. Also, events do happen, just not the kind of events that can be described with human languages. It's an entirely different world, and most people like it enough to stay. Nobody is forced to remain there."

Rem said, "But, what about the people you hate? Isn't it unpleasant to be in the same place as them?"

"Once you've traveled through the jungle, you don't have much hate in you. The experiences there are designed to rid you of harmful emotions such as hate and fear."

Rem said, "But...," but L smothered her question with a kiss. He put hands on each side of her face and kissed long and hard and deep, moving his mouth against hers tenderly. Rem melted into the kiss, feeling his eagerness, and his slight trembling, and the way he was gentle and aggressive all at once. She'd never kissed him as a human before, and the sensation of his warm lips and wet tongue were wonderful. She felt like she couldn't get enough of it.

When he broke the kiss, he said, "The gatekeeper that will come to you will answer every question. You aren't able to leave this place until you have been fully instructed. Once a gatekeeper arrives, it actually takes about a day of constant talking. Why don't we just relax on the beach while we can?"

Rem nodded, feeling a little selfish for questioning him so much, but it was so nice to be with him she quickly forgot her guilt. She sat down on the sand and he sat next to her, snuggled right up to her shoulder, and the emotional calmness of the middle of the beach came over them. Rem could feel how relaxed L was by the low tension of his muscles, very soft and loose. She leaned her head against his and they intertwined their fingers together, watching the steadily pounding surf and the distant, wheeling flight of a few sea birds.

Rem said, "I love you, L. I wish we could have had a more direct relationship, like a normal man and woman. But, it was great, and it lasted a very long time, and it isn't really over."

L said, "I love you too, Rem. I love you more than Light. My relationship with Light was always half rivalry, but with you it is pure love. I'll miss you when I'm in the jungle."

"Can't we try to go in together?"

"No, it's impossible. Even if we could walk into the jungle holding hands, we'd immediately be separated and kept that way. This is our last time together until we meet without bodies, in a place that isn't a place at all. It will be different. Just as you are, I'm a bit skeptical about whether Mu could really be fun, but I believe in experimental results. If people are free to leave but they choose to stay, it must be nice."

Rem laughed and said, "I hope so, but you've never been one to believe what you're told without testing it first. How can you be sure the gatekeeper told you the truth?"

"You're right, Rem. But, in this case I have no way of testing it except by going there and seeing what it's like. Plus, it would probably be pointless for beings powerful enough to control all this to tell us lies."

Rem slid her head down his shoulder and then into his lap, wriggling around until she was gazing up into his face. He looked very contented, and he had no bags under his eyes, none at all. L seemed healthier than Rem had ever seen him.

She reached up one hand to trail along the edge of his chin and said, "You're always so smart. You know how to make me feel better."

He made a little hum, almost a purr, and his eyes became half-closed, lust beginning to spark in their depths.

He said, "I don't want to cheapen this time with sex, but I want you."

L began rubbing her thigh through the fabric of her quilted leggings. Rem suddenly wanted him, very badly, and she pulled herself up onto his body in a twisting motion, and then she flattened him back against the sand.

L breathed, "Rem!"

The low, urgent tone in his voice turned her on even more. She was getting quite damp, feeling the sensations of being in an aroused female body for the first time in more than two thousand years. She'd gotten used to the feeling of being physically a male, even though she'd never identified as male, and it was just so wonderful and right to have her gender match up with her physical form for once.

Then L was sliding his hands under her clothing, plucking here and there with his long skillful fingers, gently undoing it all and lifting it away. Rem was doing the same to him, and then they were both naked and entwined in the warm sand, still feeling that immensely calm, languid emotion created magically by the center portion of the beach.

Rem was immediately all over L's body. She knew exactly where to touch, or lick, or suck and precisely how to do it. After all, she'd been an occupant of L's body for slightly less than two centuries. Rem knew what turned L on and how to make him whine or shake or scream in pleasure. And soon, she had it, she was completely in control of his responses and could take him as high as she wanted. Without even penetrating her yet, he was a sweating, moaning mass under her attentions, shouting her name, his voice thick with lust, and it was turning her on more and more, being able to do this to him.

Then, he suddenly rolled over, pinned her in a smooth movement and let out a giggle like he was planning something naughty.

He trailed a finger slowly down her side and said, "You did that stuff to me for ages. It's time for me to do you, Rem."

She at first thought he was going to penetrate her, but he knelt between her legs, bringing his mouth down to her damp sex. He breathed on her clitoris, hot and moist, and she felt it hardening, springing to life, yearning for his touch.

He didn't lick, but he said, "I wonder. I'm feeling very experimental today. These bodies don't eat or drink or go to the bathroom."

L slipped a finger slowly inside her vagina and then placed a thumb next to her clitoris, rocking it gently back and forth, but his head went lower, and suddenly Rem could feel his tongue flicking gently against her anus. She tightened instinctively, but then remembered what he'd said. These were new, clean bodies and they had nothing, nothing whatsoever inside their digestive tracts. The place L was licking was completely clean. Rem relaxed and was rewarded by an exquisite sensation, of L's tongue slipping past the tight ring of muscle and licking inside there as his finger penetrated her vagina and that thumb rocked back and forth, prodding her clitoris relentlessly.

L always thought of everything! Rem wouldn't have thought to try this just because their bodies didn't eat. But it was good, it was extremely good, there was something immensely delicious and intimate about it, his tongue so nonchalantly slipping in and out of that place while he finger-fucked her vagina and rubbed her clit. It was immensely relaxing and stimulating at the same time, and Rem felt like she was melting into a languid bliss as she was climbing up toward her orgasm.

When it happened it was strong, unusually strong, and it shook her in waves as she cried out, but at the same time it was perhaps the mellowest orgasm she'd ever had. She was immensely relaxed and contented in the throes of her bliss, sleepy-feeling, and she almost didn't notice it when L climbed up her body and positioned his erection to enter her vagina.

He looked into her eyes intensely, probing and searching with his own round, dark eyes. He said, "Rem."

And then, he was slowly pushing into her vagina, and it was their first joining as a man and a woman. It felt so good. Rem was still sensitive and tingling from her orgasm and the length sliding into her vagina felt extremely hot and rock-hard and it made her want to scream and claw and arch her back. She resisted, though, because she wanted to look at him, to drink in his presence, to watch him just for a little while, and to concentrate on the feeling of his cock entering her over and over again.

Then she was panting, and her back was arching, and he was going faster, and she was losing it, scratching at his back as he giggled and mumbled dirty things in her ear in his low, rumbling voice, one of his hands reaching down between their bodies to stimulate her erect little nub just right. She came hard, harder than ever, and this time it wasn't relaxed, it was a hot, frantic orgasm that forced a loud scream from her lips, and he didn't stop, but just kept thrusting at the same steady pace, and it made her climax so much better, each push an extra surge of pleasure.

Then he thrust a few more times and was suddenly twitching inside her while his entire body shook and his face was so blissful and pink, with a few little strands of hair damply plastered to his forehead and he was shouting, "Fuck! Fuck!"

He collapsed onto Rem and she gathered him to her, forming their bodies into a blissful little nest of naked arms and legs sprawled in the warm sand. Their cuddling was calm and perfectly relaxed, with them listening to the beating of each other's hearts and the constant pounding of the surf. It was so perfect. It seemed that nothing else would ever feel this right.

After a time, L began stirring restlessly, letting out half-smothered painful little moans. He said, "Rem, if Mu isn't as good as this, I'll want to go back. You'll come with me if I do, won't you?"

Rem stroked his hair, his marvelously soft and messy long black fluff, and said, "Of course. So, there's a way to do that together?"

L said, "Yes. The gatekeeper said, if people in Mu choose reincarnation together, they can arrange it so they are born around the same time in close proximity to each other."

Then L looked up into Rem's eyes, and she saw the pain in them. She said, "Is it the pull? How long have you been hurting?"

"I've been hurting since before you saw me, but it just got much worse. I need to go. I'm sorry, Rem."

He was trembling from the pain now, and his hands were unsteady, so she helped him dress, and then they held hands and walked toward the jungle. Just before they reached the boundary, L turned back and said, "Be brave, Rem. If both of us have courage and are determined to shed our negative emotions, it will be very soon. I'll see you in Mu."

Then they continued walking forward hand-in-hand, and Rem felt herself smack into the invisible boundary, but L kept going forward unimpeded. Rem fixed her eyes on his retreating figure as long as she could, but it became indistinct in the darkness and then was swallowed up. Two days later, the boundary dissolved for her as well, and she walked into that jungle, eyeing all the slithering shapes that lurked almost out of her vision and telling herself she'd do whatever it took to see L again soon. She could stand up to anything. After all, she was a war priestess.

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

I finally finished it! Yay! This is now the 26th completed Death Note fic of over 100,000 words on fanfiction dot net. There aren't very many completed ones of that length.

And, yes, this is finished. I'm not going to write about L and Rem's adventures in the afterlife. They are obviously going to breeze through that jungle quicker than most dead people do, and have a nice time in Mu, possibly with reincarnation at some point.

And, yes, this is a fluffy ending even though I killed nearly everyone. I mean, the fic covers 205 years of time, and L dies of old age at age 230 after a long and happy career and experiencing long-term happy sexual relationships. It's harder to get fluffier than "nearly everyone dies of old age after much happiness" endings.

Besides, L, though dead, is still walking around, so it's not like he's dead-dead.

The idea of Mu I'm presenting in this chapter is roughly compatible with canon. Everyone goes to Mu, and Mu is nothingness. However, it isn't a sad nothingness or a boring nothingness, it's just a lack of form. Furthermore, there is no heaven or hell, because both are merely states of mind of individual souls dwelling within Mu.

The idea of going through trials to purify the mind before entering the real afterlife is inspired by the fanfic "True Elision" by Ezan, which is really good and entirely worth reading even though it isn't finished.

And, I've finally put in the chainsaw-beheading scene that I've been hinting about for so many chapters! Yes, I've had this ending mapped out for a long time.

The only dangling plot thread is, what happens to Light now? Will he live out his outrageously long lifespan? The answer is, I have no idea and I don't want to write about it. However, I expect that nobody wants to live in a human body for more than about 3,000 years or so, and Light and Mark will probably eventually get tired of life and find a way to off themselves, some loophole that works despite their special powers. But, it'll probably be a really long time until that happens. The way I think of Light, I imagine he would like being immortal for quite a long time.

Oh, and I guess there is one more plot thread: there are only five shinigami left. What will happen to them and their world? I'm guessing, since even shinigami eventually die, that they'll all die off at some point and then there will be no more shinigami or death notes. But that'll probably take a while, and there are a lot of unclaimed death notes in the shinigami realm, so if even one shinigami decides to go on a big reproduction spree before it all ends, it could all get reversed.

And, if this fic made you think that human/shinigami relationships might be cool, you may want to check out my LightxRyuk pairing fic, "Joined"


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